For me, you were a dream come true.
I don’t know what I did to deserve you.
You made me smile
And helped me become a better person.
You were my only thought.
My feelings grew for you
As yours did for me.
We were planning a future
Despite the challenges we faced.

But for some unknown reason,
I got cold feet.
Instead of talking to you,
I took the coward’s way out
And messaged you instead.
You asked me questions
That I refused to answer.
Worse than that,
I began to ignore you.
I never once considered your feelings
When I made my decision.

I could have called you
And explained my thoughts.
But instead of doing that,
I rewrote history.
I convinced myself
That I was the one who had been wronged.
You didn’t hurt me,
But I convinced myself that you had.
Even when you extended an olive branch
So we could at least remain friends,
I rejected it and treated you like shit.
I was pathetic and an arsehole,
And I can never change that.

Seeing you again was harder than I thought.
You looked at me as if I were a stranger.
I felt a strange coldness from you
As I tried to apologise for my actions,
But you told me not to bother.

“Apologies are for mistakes and mishaps.
Your actions were deliberate.”

Those were the words that left your mouth.
I thought you would be happy
To see me once again.
I was the guy you wanted to spend your life with,
But then it dawned on me
How I had truly made you feel.

I sacrificed my happiness
Because I wouldn’t wait.
I didn’t have the patience
To stand by you
As you spent your life spinning plates.
You were always there for me;
I wish I had done the same for you.
You were perfect for me,
But I was an idiot—
An idiot who didn’t think about
What I was going to lose.

Now I have an empty void in my life,
One that I won’t be able to fill.
Please know you are my life regret,
And it’s all that I deserve.