Standing four feet and two inches - naked and dry
Wrinkled, wasted, and penniless,
This nut hides behind a beard of hairiness
Protruding red nose that even makes Rudolph envious.

Capricious old fellow
One minute laughing - Next minute lashing out,
Crazy and a bit scary
Some said he was cockamamie.

Dressed in dingy green corduroy pants
Both knees worn thin - exposing his bony knees
Shirtless in the summer - mustered yellow coat in the winter,
He dressed as he pleased.

Not many had seen the old fellow
He lived under a wooden bridge.
Some said he was vicious
Others said just malicious.

When someone arrived at the bridge,
He would vanish and hide forthright
Running as fast as his short legs might
He was definitely a Houdini escaping to hide.

The bridge wasn’t used much
Farmers used it for hauling grain and hay
People lost might cross it to find their way.
Most days no one crossed - the old fellow liked it that way.

He liked to fish and skinny dip
Watching birds and sunsets,
Smelling fresh rain
Avoiding people and copperheads.

He looked back on his life
All was fine until 1969
Drafted and shafted
Vietnam made his life rancid.

He thought his small stature
Might keep him from the draft
The Draft Board only laughed
He then knew he got the shaft.

Four years was the plan
Two friends, Sargent, and the clap
Three were buried
Gonorrhea treated, and it retreated.

Four years of Hell
Bombed and shelled
Dumped and expelled
He found the wooden bridge and dwelled.

He dug a cave and felt safe
Safe from the weather
Safe from the war
Safe from life’s stressors and aggressors.

One hot summer day,
A red-haired dame - what a sweetie
Rode her donkey across the wood bridge
The donkey wasn’t much to look at - damn the dame looked dreamy.

Halfway across the wooden bridge
The old boards creaked and one broke
Scarring the donkey
He bucked and jumped, throwing the dame.

She went flying off the bridge
Hitting her head on the rail
Landing face down in the river
Old fellow yelled, “What the hell!”

The old fellow swam to her aid
Tugged and pulled her to his cave.
He felt at a loss as to what to do
He knew he had to be brave.

First he tore up some rags,
Wrapped them around her head
Stripped off her wet clothes,
Thank goodness she wasn’t dead.

He went outside and stripped his clothes off
Tree limbs became a clothesline
It was odd to see panties hanging there
Butt naked he felt he had crossed some sexual line.

He sprawled upon the river bank
Thinking about his life and all the struggles,
Life has caused so many deaths
He hoped the red-hair dame would strive.

His naked skin soaked in the sun
He fell asleep and his dreams were spun
Twilight signaled something amiss
Red hair dame had awakened in his abyss.

Shocked she was naked and felt degraded
Her sounds of distress invaded,
He briskly gathered her clothes and threw them into the cave hole
She screamed like a banshee seeing the naked midget at the door.

He scampered away
Retreating into the trees,
Jeez, the red-haired dame is hard to please
He waited for the dame to leave as he was peeved.

Time passed away and she emerged
Dressed and then she surged up the riverbank.
The dame was a climber
Off she ran like a freight liner.

The old fellow wasted no time gathering his clothes
Glad to enter his abode.
The moon had swallowed the sun
He was glad the dame picked up her knickers and run.

The next day was peaceful and normal
He caught two fish with no trouble
Laying naked in the sun relaxing every muscle
He felt his life was sensual.

On the third while laying naked in sun
He fell asleep, and a dream was spun,
In the middle of the dream he awoke to rain
There hovering over him was the red-haired dame.

“Damn, woman, why are you back?”
“I came back to get a better look at you!”
She looked over his naked body
She decided his cock was the best full monty.

He was angry she was back
He jump'd up and ran to his cave
She being much bigger grabbed his hand
Kissed him and stroked his male gland.

What was already a delight to see
Grew twice the size, and it was time for whoopee
He gladly watched her undress
Gorgeous mound of red hair and a delightful chest.

She said she came over to thank him
After seeing the naked old fellow, she wanted to screw
That they did, and it was a hullabaloo
The noise they made was long over do.

The moral of this story
Rather simple to apply
Standing four feet and two inches
Is no indication of the size of the shaft in britches.

The second moral, simple as the first
If a red-haired dame comes to thank you
Get ready for a phenomenal screw.
She will not let you go until she is through.