At times I wish I didn't message you,
If I’d known where we’d be today.
But your eyes were so alluring
They drew me in to you.

I didn't know how we ended up not talking
After everything we shared.
Oh, silly me! I do remember
That decision was only yours.

We promised at worst to be friends,
That promise, shattered like my heart.

I was definitely not the beauty,
More likely I was the beast.
But you said you liked me,
Despite all the flaws I claimed to have.

To me, you were far too beautiful
I was so lucky to have you in my life.
If only I wasn't married,
Where would we be today?

If the shoe were on the other foot,
If you were the one who was married
And needed to leave that life,
I would have sat there patiently,
And waited for my time.

But for you it had to be different,
Even though you told me not to rush.
You waited till I was trapped away
Before you decided it was time.

I was stuck in a foreign country,
Wishing I was actually by your side.
There I was in Venice,
Watching loving couples embrace in gondolas
All I could do was stand there,
Wishing that was you and I.

I had to lie to others and put a brave face on,
As you texted away my future.

I wasn't worthy of a phone call.
Still I wait for answers
That I know I will not get.

At times I struggle to be happy,
Knowing that you are still out there.
Not caring about me one jot.

Maybe I’m not meant to be happy
After all, I wasn't a good man.
Perhaps this is my punishment
For having ever messaged you.