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Attainment of Liberty

"A certain darkness is needed to see the stars"

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2.8k words 2.8k words
Sitting at the foot of what was once the bed I shared with the love of my life, I sadly stared into a half empty closet. He was actually gone. The person who was by my side for eight beautiful years was out of my life for good. I should have been jumping for joy, I was finally free. Free of wondering where he was going at night, no longer would I cry myself to sleep knowing he was in the arms of another.

Instead, all I wanted was to have him here with me. To crawl into his lap, lay my head against his strong chest and let myself succumb to the sound of his heartbeat. I wanted to wrap myself in everything that was him, despite the hurt he caused me.

I forced myself to stand and turn away from the blaring reminder of my loss. I forced myself to remember all that I would gain from his absence; peace of mind, independence, and eventually, true happiness. I could do this, I will get over him and I will never let anyone to hurt me this way again. I smoothed my clothes and went to the bathroom to wash my face. Ignoring the empty second vanity, I splashed some cold water on my face, imagining the liquid going deeper than my skin and washing my soul free of any lingering self-pity.

Letting the water drip from my face I looked at my reflection in the mirror, dark circles marred my hazel eyes and I could see a patch of grey hairs forming near my widow’s peak. At only twenty seven I could easily been mistaken for a woman twice my age. Why did I let him do this to me for so long?

Because you love him

I ignored the painful thought and reached for my cosmetics bag, deciding that the first step towards happiness was looking the part. Satisfied I no longer looked like the walking dead, I gave myself a small smile and left the bathroom. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and dialed my girlfriend, eyeing the clock and hoping she was on a break.

After a few rings her child-like voice sung back at me, “Hello, chica!”

“Hey Lupe, is it okay for you to talk?”

“Of course, you know that prick Max is locked in his office probably tugging his little dick to the exercise channel, chica.”

“Of course,” I chuckled, “I was calling because I need to go out tonight and I want you to come with me.”

“Honey, you know I am always down to get some strange,” she laughed, “when and where?”

We set up our girl’s night and chatted for another five minutes before hanging up. I couldn't stop smiling, clubbing and drinks with my girl was just what I needed. I was rummaging through different outfits for tonight when the doorbell rang. I was confused because I wasn't expecting anyone. I checked my phone for any missed calls or messages and there weren't any. Going to the door I looked through the peephole and nearly collapsed. It was him.

Why is he here? He didn't leave anything, maybe he wanted to argue some more? I contemplated pretending I wasn't home but my car was parked out front and even if I’d left he knew I would've turned the porch light on.

I snuck another peek, he had his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, nervously shifting from one foot to the other. He was wearing a t-shirt I’d gotten him when he missed the concert of one his favorite bands. His brown hair looked wild, and a light beard graced his jaw. It made me happy to see him disheveled like this, I didn't want to be the only one grieving our break up.

He knocked and called out, “Angel, I know you’re here. Come on and open up.”

I swallowed, my throat suddenly painfully dry, “What do you want?”

He jumped and peered through the peephole, I hurriedly stepped back.

“Open the door.”

I shook my head, forgetting that he couldn't see me, “What do you want, Chris?”

There was a long pause before he answered, “I still have my key, I was dropping it off.”

“Put it under the doormat.”

After a moment he said, “It’s under the doormat.”

“Okay, now leave.”

After a few moments I tip toed to the door and looked through the peephole again, he was still there. I prayed that he would just leave, I didn't have the strength to deal with him right now. He was looking at his boots, his shoulders slumped down. I watched him like his for several minutes, it took everything in me not to open the door and throw my arms around him.

He looked up and I swore there were tears in his eyes, “I’m sorry.”

I closed my eyes against the oncoming tears, I tried to make myself walk away but I couldn't.

“I am so sorry I hurt you. I am the biggest fucking idiot there is. I spent so much time chasing worthless sluts when I had the greatest woman in the world at home waiting for me. Angel, you are the best thing that ever happened to me and I hate that messed everything up. If I could I would go back and treat you the way you deserved. I would tell you how beautiful you are and how much I loved you every single day because you deserve it. I would-”

I snatched the door open slapped him across the face as hard as I could.

“Shut up!” I screamed, my tears blinding me, “Shut up, shut up, shut up!”

I punched at him wildly, cursing him over and over. He grabbed my arms and pulled me to his chest. I struggled wildly against him, kicking his shins and biting him where I could reach. He grunted and picked me up, stepping into the house and kicking the door closed behind him. He set me down to me my feet and I shoved him away from me, angrily pushing my hair from my face.

“Get the fuck out of my house.” I seethed, my breathing labored.

“I’m sorry.” He came towards me, “Please just listen to me for one second-”

“I’m done listening to you, Chris!” I cried, “I've listened to your shit for eight years and all you've ever done is lie to me, I’m done. I refuse to let you hurt me again.”

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” He came towards me again, grabbing my shoulders and bringing me to his chest.

I cried and begged him to leave, my hands pushing against him but he ignored my protests and rained kisses down on my face, muttering apologies over and over.

“I hate you!” I sobbed, “I want you out of my life.”

My arms hung down by my sides, exhausted from my struggles, and I hiccoughed pathetically as he kissed my face. I let him pull me closer, his mouth hovering over mine as he whispered his love for me. Half of me wanted to forgive him, ask him to stay and just start new. The other half screamed to kick him out, I didn't want to be that girl. That girl who always took the cheater back because she didn't think she deserved better.

Instead I just stood there in his arms, lifeless as he nudged my mouth with his, seeking a response. I felt his hands begin to creep down my body, palming my breasts desperately, grabbing my ass and grinding his growing erection into me. He picked me up like a child and took me to what used to be our bedroom. He placed me gently down on the mattress, as if I were made of the finest china, and slowly stripped me. I lay there numbly as he pulled off my shoes, my shorts and panties, pulling my shirt over my head and turning me over to unhook my bra.

I turned my face into the pillow beneath me as he began trailing his lips down my spine, hoping my groan would be absorbed into the material.

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I didn't want to give him any hope that I still wanted him, I didn't want him to know that just the night before I was in bed craving his touch. But a loud gasp escaped my mouth as he bit into one of my cheeks before placing a wet kiss on the sting.

“Angel, I need you so bad,” He muttered, turning me over and positioning himself between my thighs, “I've missed this so much.”

I shivered as he grabbed my thighs and hooked them over his shoulders, I knew exactly what he was about to do and my mind screamed to stop him but my body could only respond in lust to his actions.His warm breath tickled my sensitive flesh and my thighs involuntarily squeezed his head in response. I refused to look down as he moved closer, and I bit my lip until I tasted blood as he gently took my center with his soft mouth.

But my body betrayed me, my hands gripping the sheets beneath me and my hips rocking against his mouth as he kissed my throbbing sex. His hands cradled my bottom, guiding my hips to ride his face, groaning into me as my body wept for him. He swirled tongue round and round my needy clitoris, sucking the button strongly into his mouth, quickly bringing me to the edge.

My breathing was haggard, my lungs burned and I felt my skin prickle as a light sheen of perspiration formed across my body. My fingers knotted painfully into the bed sheets but I needed to hang onto something because I felt like I was going fly away if I didn't. My body was blindly reaching for orgasm, I was so desperate for release, unable to stop myself from violently thrusting into his mouth.

He began sucking at my center, and I was getting closer, just a few more seconds…

But he abruptly stopped, and a pathetic whine escaped me. He threw my thighs off his shoulders and sat up on his knees.

“I need to be inside you.” Chris gasped, yanking his zipper down and reaching inside his pants to pull out his erection, “Now.”

Leaning over me, he placed one hand by my head while the other gripped his pulsating penis and pointed it towards my open thighs. I saw my hand reaching for his member to push it away, to stop all this madness. Instead I gripped him tightly and helped him find his way inside me. We reacted in unison to our joining, a sigh of unexpected relief slipping through my lips as he sank down further into my body. I hadn't realized exactly how much I missed having him inside me, his warm body intertwined with mine. He buried his face into my neck and wrapped his arms around my body, his lips whispering sweet nothings into my skin.

My hands gripped his shoulders, and I realized he was still fully dressed. But any coherent thought that may have formed in my mind vanished when he began to move. His hips slowly rising and falling into me, his cock stroking me in the way I've needed for so long. My thighs widened for him, letting him slip in deeper and move freely. His hot breath on my neck sent a jolt down my spine, causing me to jump and grip him tighter. He took it as a sign to quicken his pace, his thrusts steadily becoming shorter and shorter.

“Oh fuck,” He growled, lifting his head to place his forehead against mine.

His blue eyes held mine, I tried to make myself turn away but I found it impossible.

My hips began to meet his thrusts, elevating our pleasure, and I couldn't control the tiny moans leaving my throat. My nipples dragged across the rough cotton of shirt, causing them to harden almost painfully, and I almost began to take his shirt off. But I decided against it, not wanting this final coupling to be any more intimate than it already was.

He started to twist his hips and thrust into me the way he knew would drive me crazy, making my eyes roll to the back of my head. I could hear the wet slap of our joining, the lewd sucking sound of my body pulling him into me. He rolled us over so I was on top, urging me to ride him. I looked up to the ceiling and placed my hands on my thighs to steady myself as I rocked my pelvis down onto his shaft. I groaned as he was incredibly deep in this position, it felt as if he could reach the back of my throat.

“That’s it love,” He grunted, “ride me, ride my cock. Yes baby, fuck me.”

I hated that I still loved hearing him speak to me in such a lewd way, and I started to bounce on him angrily.

“Yes Angel, use my cock. Use my cock to fuck yourself and cum, baby.”

And I did, riding him like my life depended on it. Bouncing on his cock heavily at a rapid pace, fucking him with a stamina I never knew I possessed. I stopped a few times just to savor the sensation of having him inside me before getting back into rhythm. He thrust up into me, his hands gripping my hips tightly and slamming me down onto him.

“Oh, oh, oh, oh,” I moaned with every thrust, my hands covering his as he started to take control again.

One of his hands came up to rub my clit, his thrusting becoming staggered.

“Cum, baby,” He pleaded, “Cum for me.”

Instead I tore myself away from him and crawled towards the end of the bed, my ass waving invitingly in the air. He followed behind me and spread my cheeks apart, shoving his cock back inside me. His strong thrusts pushed me forward and his hands came to my shoulders to pull me back. I groaned and let him use my body, my back arching to accept more of his plunging cock.

One hand left my shoulder to probe my asshole, making me whimper in eager anticipation. He spit down onto my ass and pushed his finger into my winking hole. He buried his finger in deep and massaged the thin tissue that separates my vagina from my ass. I pushed back into him, silently asking for more, and he gladly gave it to me, pumping his finger in time with his quickening trusts. I was going to cum, and I knew he could feel it. I reached back between my legs and rubbed my clit desperately, my cries ringing in my ears. I felt as if I would burst into flames if I didn't reach climax.

Suddenly I was there, my fingers a blur on my sex as I lost control of my body. A strangled scream left me as I cramped up, muscle painfully clenching onto bone as I rode the hardest orgasm of my life. Nothing around me mattered anymore, I could only comprehend the twisting and throbbing in my lower body as my center convulsed violently.

I was vaguely aware of Chris crying out my name before slumping down by my side. It felt like an eternity had passed before I was able to open my eyes. I looked over at Chris, he was staring up at the ceiling, panting as if he’d just ran a marathon.

Instead of feeling sated, I felt the urge to cry. He didn't roll over and pull me into his arms. He didn't whisper into my hair how amazing I made him feel. The air became thick with tension, and it seemed we both realized that this was the end. Yes, we’d broken up and Chris had moved out, but it wasn't over. Now, lying here next to him with his sperm seeping from me, I didn't feel the usual glow I felt from our couplings. I felt disgusted and wanted nothing more than to scrub my skin raw until there was no trace of him left.

He didn't look at me as he stood up, tucking himself into his pants and zipping them closed. He walked to the door of my bedroom and stopped for a moment, I held my breath and waited for him to turn to me and say something. But he just walked away, leaving me sweaty heap on the bed.

And as I heard the front door shut I whispered, “Thank you.”
Published 
Written by Dryad
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