The twelve-hour anxiety

She's leaving. Kayla, my mistress and lesbian girlfriend, is moving to another state.

I was unable to speak. Like, literally nothing was coming out of the driest mouth of my life.

“Carrie?” Her voice on the phone sounded so far away. I then realized my hand had dropped to my side. I lifted it up.

“Yeah, uh yes, I’m here. Um…”

There was a pause and I guessed she was contemplating what attitude she should take. She knew if she was dominating, I would respond with obedience. She knew if she was sweet, I would respond with calm. What I didn’t expect was uncertainty.

“Look, babe, I don’t know what’s going to happen to us. I want to be your lover for a very long time. You know I fucking want to, or I wouldn’t have put so much time into you. As well as my heart…But I’ve got to do this. You know I do.”

I rolled my eyes, mostly at myself. Sparks loped up to me, and I crouched to scratch him.

“Of course you do. That’s not a question. I just… You know, my marriage exploded and I was shaky. I thought I was, I mean, I know I was steady again with you. And now? I run the risk of that earthquake happening again.”

The window I just gave her was huge. I had to see if she would go through it.

“Go enjoy the panda. Use her for a good morning fuck." She sat in the chair next to the window. "She will love it. I will see you tomorrow night and we can talk about it in person.”

“Fuck… yeah… OK you’re right. I love—." The beep-disconnect answered me back.

Apparently, the dominant Miss ended the phone call, not my girlfriend.

Princess was nowhere to be found, and for a while, I was happy about that.

I went upstairs and used the bathroom. When I came back into my room, Amber, my new pet, was just beginning to stir. Rather than give her a moment to react, I slipped under the blanket and put my mouth on her pungent, sweat-arousal flavored pussy. No preliminaries. No soft kisses. No light touches. Just me noisily sating a physical, sexual, and emotional discontent. There was a short high-pitched gasp from her and then she just grabbed my head and held on. I angrily grunted and she removed her hands. This was about me.

Three hours later, I was standing in an exam room at my office, realizing that I had not heard a single word that Mrs. Chang had said in the last five minutes. She was describing some menopausal symptoms she had been dealing with, and I was considering changing her hormone replacement therapy.

She had a polite, almost maternal tone to her voice. “You with me, Doctor?”

I gently shook my head, realizing what had happened. I felt my face blush. That had not happened in quite a while.

“I am so sorry. I was just distracted about something personal. I’m all yours. Start with the back pain again if you would.”

She hesitated to follow that suggestion and looked at me with a soft smile. “Love can be wondrous, and difficult in the same breath. Whatever the trouble, I hope he is treating you fairly.”

“She.” I guess I was so surprised by her accurate intuition that I blurted out the correction without thinking.

“Oh! How foolish an assumption! I just remember you talking about a husband at some point and—.”

“No, no, it’s okay, I just—Yes, I’m seeing a woman after my divor- oh, I’m so sorry. This should not be happening. Please let’s continue our discussion and get you back to feeling yourself.”

She simply nodded and returned to her personal narrative.

Well, several people already knew so I guess whoever Mrs. Chang tells will also have the information. Dr. Fryloch is gay. Or at least bisexual. Probably why she got divorced.

She’s also very concerned about seeing her younger, dominant girlfriend tonight.

Surprised by her again

At six, I found myself outside her door about to slip in my key, when I realized I could not remember much of what had happened today at work, nor even driving home to feed Sparks. I did feed him, right? Anxiety had made me a puppet. And how did I get in this outfit?

I gotchu, Dr. Distress

Thanks, Princess

I was not dressed for normal expectations. I was wearing jeans and a tight T-shirt. I had on fairly normal underwear that I had worn to work, and my hair was in a messy bun. My workout shoes could not be further away from my uniform pair of CFM heels.

I took a deep breath and made to put in my key when the door opened and I let out a startled noise.

Kayla was stunning. Full on black with red trim corset and garter belt ensemble, bright red high heels, and black fishnet stockings. She held a riding crop in her hand. She looked like she was going to a costume party for really, really sexy people.

“Um, Hi. I wasn’t sure what —."

“Get your ass in here. You’re five minutes late and you’re not dressed properly.” She grabbed me by my shoulder, pulled me in, and shut the door. Her strong hand pushed, and I instinctually fell to my knees.

Her effect on me was absolute. My heart jumped into my ears. “I wasn’t sure if we were going to be doing this.”

“‘Doing this?’ Why would you make such a ridiculous assumption. Get that T-shirt and bra off immediately. Good thing I have a spare collar.” She turned and strutted away, and I couldn’t help but admire her incredible fishnet covered ass. She was back in a moment with a black collar I had seen before but never worn.

I thanked her for it and quickly removed my shirt and bra before she put it on me. She quite purposely stood right in front of me while she performed the task so that my face was aligned with her pussy; which I could smell.

You in trouble now!

I can’t argue, Princess.

"Follow!" she barked and I crawled after her, still in my jeans and shoes, my breasts bumping one another. I was confused, yes, but also wet-arousal hoping to be punished and fucked thoroughly. In her living room, she sat in her big chair and crossed her legs. Straightening her spine to threat-level, her breasts rose above the corset like two full moons over a black ocean.

I awkwardly removed my shoes, socks, and jeans without rising. I was just navigating my basic brief panties when she told me to stop.

"Leave the granny panties on, Pet. I have a plan."

Ha, Granny panties. Wicked!

I quickly assumed submissive pose, ass on heels, palms on thighs, eyes to the floor.

"Better. What does my disobedient slut think should happen to balance out so stupid a presentation?"

I gulped. Princess giggled.

"It is not up to me, Miss. Whatever you deem appropriate."

She paused. For a long time. I hated the pauses. She slowly slid her right index finger through my collar loop and pulled me upwards. I used all of my core strength to not rise out of my kneel. I choked, she smiled, I shivered.

"Good answer. I will be direct, Pet." I was still choking a little. "I am not sure how many more of these sessions we will have before I leave on the eighth."

"The eighth? That's only - !"

The slap to my left breast was loud and stung tremendously. I deserved it. The twist to the collar, however, was tough to take.

"If you speak out of turn again...I'm sending you home immediately. Without clothing."

I almost said, 'What the fuck, Kayla?' but managed to just squeak out, "Yes Miss."

"Twenty. Each cheek. Over the couch, now." She released me and I gulped in air. As soon as I could I went to the couch and bent over the end toward the middle, my arms stretched out. I spread my legs wide and felt the familiar stick of my vaginal fluids lightly holding my mons to my thigh joints.

I was so turned on and so in need of her punishment and attention that I had almost forgotten that we were supposed to talk. I was, once again, surprised by her combining both. I admit that it made me focus.

She gripped my utilitarian undergarment and pulled. It ripped down the center drawing friction and pressure across my moistening vulva. Damn! She left the shredded thing hanging from me. It was a reminder that I had broken the uniform rule.

Whoosh! Smack! Right cheek. Riding crop.

"Ooone!" I grunted.

"I am not dumping you."

Whoosh! Smack! Left cheek.

"Two!"

"I am going to expect you to visit me."

Whoosh! Smack!

"Threeee!"

"You will visit me."

Whoosh! Smack!

"Fourrr." Fuck me, she was hitting the same spots.

Whoosh! Smack!

"Fiiiive..."

"Do you believe I love you?"

What the hell?

Whoosh! Smack!

"Sixsss..."

"I asked -"

Whoosh! Smack!

"You -"

Whoosh! Smack!

"A question, slut!"

Whoosh! Smack!

She paused. I had lost my breath. The strikes, which I usually liked, were so fast and stung badly, but I knew I could take it. I knew I had to take it. Was I equating my pain/pleasure tolerance with being able to let her go?

Stop thinking

Whoosh! Smack!

"Ten...ten...fuck..."

Nothing.

I hung my head. Emotional tears flowed, not pain tears. "I do believe that you l-love me." My brain was struggling more than ever with the contrast. "Kay - sorry, Miss."

How could she love me and inflict so much pain and humiliation? I couldn't go to my sub place, I needed answers.

A cool hand laid on my left cheek and I sighed. "Good girl."

I broke protocol and spun my body. I grabbed her into a tight hug and kissed her so hard our teeth banged. She let me. She even offered tongue and back rubs. She pulled back and I buried my head in her red hair cascading down her neck.

"I know I will be okay. I also knew this was coming. What I don't know is why I am reacting this way."

She was silent. Sometimes it was because she was manipulating me. Sometimes it was so I could answer my own question. Sometimes she didn't have an answer and hid behind her Domme self. I had no idea which this was.

I leaned back and made eye contact. Miss was looking back with impatience. I nodded and resumed the position. Rather than hear the whoosh of the crop I heard the buzz of a toy. I thought to look back but knew better and lowered my head. A tube-shaped toy slowly entered my dripping pussy. I almost came as it was buzzing my G spot. Must be the green one. She knew it was my favorite. I tilted and ground so she could easily fill me. She responded by turning it off.

"Really, Pet?"

"Sorry, Miss." I relaxed back to where I was and she commenced with an exquisite slow fuck.

I knew better than to allow an orgasm to flower, so I gripped my smooth muscles and levator ani in order to prune off three blossoms.

"Color?"

My head popped up and I had a moment of grounding I did not expect.

"Green, Miss." She slid it all the way in and I hissed as she slid it back out. "Please, may I cum?"

"Green, heard. And no."

Fuck me blind. She was in a very mysterious place tonight. We would talk; we would figure it out. But for now, we would fuck, and I was happy with the privilege to have her.

Whoosh, Smack! Buzz!

"Eleven..."

Whoosh, Smack! Buzz!...

"Twenteee..." I was a wreck, and my nipples ached from being aroused and pressed into the couch cushion.

"Cum, Pet."

I screamed as it plowed through me and left me by the side of the road. I learned later than I shot the vibrator out of her hand.

The decision

It was somewhere near nine o'clock when I was allowed to use the bathroom. When I returned, she was only in her now-torn fishnets; her incredible breasts glowed in electric candlelight. Her red waves spread across the pillow like a paint splatter. She was the definition of sexy.

I waited for instruction, hands behind my back, head lowered.

"Yellow, Pet. Come here. I'm ready." She held open her arms and I fell into them. The flip of age and who was comforting who was not lost on me.

I kissed her neck and she moaned softly. "Thanks for the sex. It was amazing. I was really on edge."

"Probably why you came so many times. We will address that stolen one on the floor later."

I made the face of someone who had been caught; and I was happy to hear a small laugh.

"I will go first." She sat up a bit, and I rolled on my side on my elbow. She motioned for me to lay on my stomach, and I saw she had our lotion mix that we put on my well-punished ass. It felt cool and loving. I sighed.

"Carrie, we are going to be fine. I am not going to say 'forever' because that is a stupid word to promise." She ran a lotioned finger down my labia. It felt like an ice cube in August. "Sorry about springing the new date on you. I had to accelerate because of the study group lottery." I could hear her roll her eyes. "I decided that, yes, I will get another pet while at Yale. There's a whole network to tap into." I flinched and she paused her ministrations. "I need this type of relationship. Maybe I will grow out of it one day, but for now, I need a woman I can use and punish. It's who I am."

"But what about a woman to love?" It was a bold thing to ask. She had called the yellow.

"For the foreseeable future, I only need one of those."

I rotated. I was finally feeling assured, confident, myself. Fully Carrie, Kayla's lover and girlfriend for the foreseeable future. "Me too. For the foreseeable future is all I can ask for. I love you, Kayla. And I am so proud of you."

We sat still and quiet, our eyes enjoying the mystery of the future. I was okay.

We made love for another hour. I headed home to Sparks, wearing my clothes, hair a disaster and face red and sticky. I don't care what she said, she tasted like forever.

I had a settled sleep before another day as Dr. Carrie Frylock.

Good-Bye for now

We had ten more days together. It included three more intense sessions as we attempted to store up enough kink to last until my first visit to Connecticut in September. I was strangely excited to have her preparing to take on a new pet. We even looked at the online D/s network where she was a "Stiletto Level Member". (The things you learn). We chose a blonde, party-girl type named Starr; a twenty-eight-year-old nurse. Kayla loves medical people. I don't question that.

We both cried when I dropped her off at O'Hare. We had shipped all of her stuff the week before. I had paid for that and her plane ticket. I insisted.

"I love you, Kayla Driscoll, future attorney at law."

"I love you, Dr. Carrie Frylock, HO-BGYN." Those eyes...fuck me...

The kiss was electric and long enough to warrant a honk from a car behind me. Princess glared. He shrunk.

Kayla laughed, then headed in.

***

It was about a week after Kayla left that I contacted Amber with three words of text.

Tonight Seven Sutherland

She showed up at 6:56 in her new collar that I had bought her. It was black and white and had a panda charm. She closed the hotel room door and stripped down to her collar and heels. She knelt with her palms on her thighs and her head down. My vagina wept with anticipatory joy.

"How may I serve, you Dr. Mistress?"

Standing by the bed, arms akimbo, Princess bristled and leaned forward, her pushed-up tits glistening with a new glitter spray, nipples slaying. "It's Princess, tonight, Panda. And she's in a mood."

Amber Panda gulped and I saw her hips quiver from arousal.

Fuck, yes!

THE END

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Love Wins, Matt