I lie my wife down on the bed, slowly pulling her t-shirt up and over her head. I reach behind her unclasping her bra, freeing her beautiful breasts. I gently squeeze each soft mound, before my hands rake down her naked tummy to unfasten her jeans. I pull her jeans and panties down her shapely legs. After standing up and removing my own clothes, I slip in bed beside her.

I pull her closely against my chest, running my fingers through her hair. She exudes peacefulness at this moment. Her peace was hard fought and I don’t dare disturb it with sexual advances. It just doesn’t feel like our time ... yet. I am not without want. But, my desires are contained by this tranquil energy between us. I can wait a little longer.

Pillow talk has been missing from our relationship for quite some time. I talk to her, ask her about her dreams for our future, as I caress her body. It is exciting to make plans for our family. These plans stoke the fires of hope rising within us. After some time, we drift off to sleep, clinging to each other.

The movement on the mattress wakes me. I open my eyes to see her in a corner fumbling with a bag. She retrieves something and walks out the door, leaving me wondering what she is doing. I hear noises from the living room and get out of bed to check on her.

As I reach the doorway, my eyes shoot to the movement on the couch. My first reaction is happiness, as I see my wife spreading her legs and tentatively placing the wand against her sweet spot. I see her back arch at its first sensitive touch. Then, my emotions abruptly change. You might think less of me now. After all, I bought this toy, wanting to please her, hoping to excite her. It worked. But, I am human and my fragile male ego overtakes my emotions. As the wand stimulates her, a knife stabs and twists in my abdomen. I stalk back to bed, not letting her see me. I close my eyes tightly, fuming inside. I know what you are thinking. I can’t help it.

I hear her come to bed shortly. Apparently, her response to the wand is quick and satisfying once again. My back is to her and she wraps her arms wrap around me, but I feign contented sleep. I hear her soft purring snores soon, as sleep evades me the rest of the night.

At daybreak, I head for a shower. This time it is a warm one, as my cock feels dead. No cold water is needed. My eyes are closed as I plunge my face into the water stream - giving in to my sulk. I unexpectedly feel her hand on my back. Flinching at her touch, I turn to face her. Her smile immediately fades at my frustrated expression. My wife knows me as well as I know her. She knows something is wrong.

We just stare into each other’s eyes for a few minutes, neither knowing what to do. You won’t think much of me for what I am about to do. I reach out and give her a hard spank on her ass.

Smack!

“Ow!” She jumps, biting her lip.

More minutes pass. I am angry.

“You saw me.”

“I saw you.”

Another minute passes, tumultuous emotions exposed.

“Spank me again.”

I grab her arm, gritting my teeth while I turn her to the side and spank her hard again. 

Smack!

She flinches as her ass reddens.

“You are hurt I didn’t come to you instead.”

“I am hurt you didn’t come to me instead.”

“Again. Harder,” she says pleading with her eyes.

Smack!

“I berated you for masturbating, but then I did it.”

“Yes.”

Smack!

I release her and walk out of the shower.

I can’t explain what just happened. Judge me as you will. I am human.

I sulk in the living room and then move to the bedroom. She is still in the shower and sees me through the window.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, I grab my cock. With my eyes never leaving her face, I stroke myself with hard, slow strokes. I am hurting and again can’t explain my actions. My emotions are very raw. She stares at me with an unreadable look on her face. Then, she soaps her hands, and moves them to her milky white breasts, never breaking eye contact with me. She massages her mounds, and pulls at both nipples, with quick, deliberate tugs.

I rise from the bed, cock in hand, and move to the window. Placing one hand on the windowpane, I continue masturbating. My strokes become fast and intense. She glances down at my hard cock, before looking me in the eyes again. I still can’t decipher the look in her eyes. I do not know what thoughts are roaming in her beautiful head. Her hands move down her tummy, soaping every inch of her breathtaking skin before they rest on her mound. To my shock, she lifts a leg to set it on the window ledge, giving me a full view of her pussy. Looking almost defiant, she explores her pussy right before my eyes with her soapy hands. One hand abandons her pussy to cover mine on the windowpane, while the other rubs her clit. She matches me stroke for stroke. It feels like an unwinnable contest, and I can’t take it anymore.

I turn and walk out of the bedroom only to reappear in her shower. I roughly turn my ravishing wife around then claim her mouth. Gentle kisses are not going to happen now. Slow lovemaking is out the window. My lips press hard against hers as my tongue seeks gratification within her mouth. She moans and gasps, but returns my kisses with the same urgency and need.

“Give me your tongue,” I bark, after breaking our kiss.

“She sticks her tongue out and I suck it hard into my mouth, dominating her.”

She loudly moans and lifts her leg to press her sex against mine.

“Turn around!”

I spin her around and bend her forward. She places her hands on the window pane and we are both caught off guard by the intensity of my entry. She gasps loudly but reaches a hand back to pat my leg, reassuring me she is okay. Thoughts leave me now. Raw feelings wash over me as I plunge repeatedly into my wife’s pussy. She braces herself against the window with one hand now, as the other reaches behind to grasp my hand. Our hands squeeze together as our desperate voices scream out in the morning air. I plunge and thrust without restraint - in and out, slamming into her pussy. It is an uncontrolled fuck. 

“Shawn!” She screams just that one word as she cums.

I can’t stop our fuck. I am too far gone. It isn’t long after her release I shoot my cum deep inside her – repeating her name over and over with each remaining thrust.

I pull out and we sink to the floor with the water still running, trying to recover from what just happened. We look at each other and I am not sure who cries first. We hold on to each other for dear life, trying to keep every inch of ourselves touching, all while sobbing.

“I am sorry, Kira,” I whisper. “That was not how I envisioned making love to you again.” With those words, I loosen my dead-locked grip on her and gently run my fingertips over her skin.

“We needed to do that, Shawn. I am okay with what just happened,” she says, quietly crying, returning my caresses.

“I am scared about going home. I feel closer to you now, but am not gonna lie, some raw feelings remain.”

“I understand. But, I feel more loved by you now than I have in a long time. I do. I will not abandon you again. We will work through this together.”

“I will never, I mean never, leave you, Kira.”

I take her lips in mine, gently this time, feeling a rekindled love with her.

It is very difficult to find intimacy again once it leaves a relationship. We are not perfect. Our life is not a fairytale. We return home continuing to hunt for that new mutually satisfying place. We discover communication is key. Soaked with the realization we need to show as much care for the other’s feelings as our own, we strive to meet the other halfway at the very least. Our marital issue doesn’t have a neat and tidy ending for you – as we are a work in progress.