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You Can't Hurry Love - Chapter 4

"Roxanna tells Dan about her first lustless first husband"

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"Okay," Roxanna began telling Dan the story of her first husband. "I had long since gotten out of being a maid at a motel. I had taken a crash course and become a dental hygienist. When that wasn’t particularly satisfying or fulfilling, either, I enrolled in a junior college, where I studied for two years.”

“You got an associate degree?” Dan asked.

“Yes. In electronic technology. Soon after, I landed a job as an electronics technician, testing computer chips to make sure they worked properly. Yes, I’m one of those nerds in a white lab coat looking through a microscope for tiny flaws in electronic components.”

“I’ll bet you were the best-looking nerd in the whole lab!” Dan joked.

"I was twenty six then, and this guy who worked in the lab with me was twenty ninr. Jim was handsome, and he seemed to like me. He was easy to talk to and pleasant to look at. We started dating, and he was warm and charming. At first, Jim was a passionate kisser, too. He told me he loved me. When I examined my own heart, I realized I loved him, too. So when Jim asked me to marry him, I said yes."

"After we got married, Jim acted like he no longer had to pursue me. Jim no longer seemed to like even kissing, let alone anything more intimate than that. We hadn't had sex at all before we got married. And we had damned little of it after he said 'I do.'"

"Was Jim gay or something?" Dan asked.

"No," Roxanna laughed. "It might have been easier if he was. He just had no romance in his soul! No lust in him, either.” Roxanna was nearly teary-eyed over the painful memory.

“Our honeymoon was the first time I ever saw Jim naked,” Roxanna continued. “His dick was longer than my previous lovers, maybe five to five and a half inches long. But narrower, at maybe an inch diameter. I couldn't feel very much friction when we made love.”

Dan wondered to himself now, whether his own seven-inch length and nearly two-inch diameter might someday provide Roxanna with the friction which she evidently desired, but had never yet experienced.

Since Dan’s cock had never yet entered a pussy, he wondered what Roxanna’s pussy would feel like as he entered her. Some of Dan’s friends had told him that the best pussy is a tight pussy. "Would Roxanna’s pussy fit snugly around me?" Dan wondered to himself. “Would my thick dick hurt her, or bring her genuine pleasure?”

“But I enjoyed the sensation of the man I loved entering that warm, moist, secret places inside of me,” Roxanna continued. “And that was enough for me....when we did make love. I just wished it could have been more often!"

"You sound like you were really frustrated with Jim!"

"I often was. I was frustrated by the lack of intimate contact with him through seventeen years of my marriage. I can count on the fingers of one hand, the number of times my husband and I ever had sex. Including only one time, for about thirty minutes, on our entire week-long honeymoon. Jim never once brought me to orgasm in that entire seventeen years, either!"

"I wouldn't treat you like that, Roxanna. I would go down on you—all night if I had to—until you do orgasm!"

Roxanna's experiences had long since convinced her there was no such thing as a female orgasm. Still, she thought, it might be fun to try. Especially with Dan.

"In his defense," Roxanna countered, "none of my other lovers before him gave me an orgasm, either."

"I still can’t believe you've never had an orgasm!" Dan was incredulous.

"I told you before, Dan. I think female orgasm is just a myth!" Roxanna declared. "I've never reached orgasm by pleasuring myself, either. A lot of women have told me that female orgasm is just a cruel myth society invented, to give us women one more thing to feel miserable and inferior about our whole lives, for never experiencing it. And my own experiences seem to confirm that."

"Oh, you poor girl!" Dan sympathized. "I just might have to do something about that!"

Roxanna liked the idea that Dan was willing to try. Even trying to get her off was more than her husband had ever been willing to do. But Roxanna was sure Dan, too, would fail. Still, it could be fun. For both of them. Even if she never did reach orgasm, she’d be no worse off for Dan at least trying.

"Eventually I moved on to a job at another company," Roxanna continued to tell Dan about her late husband. "And so did Jim. We no longer worked together. But we stayed married. At least in name, if not in any real intimacy."

"I'm sorry you had such a sexless marriage. I hope that doesn't scare you away from trying again."

Roxanna didn't grasp what Dan was hinting at.

"Throughout my marriage, I was lonely and depressed a lot," Roxanna agreed. "Then one day, my husband had the nerve to tell me that a woman at his job had invited him to go fishing with her in three weeks. The two of them were going to camp out at the lake over night.”

“He wouldn’t eat your pussy, or fuck you?” Dan laughed nervously.

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He feared that putting down Roxanna’s husband of seventeen years might be treading into dangerous territory. “But he wanted to camp overnight with another woman? What a great guy you married!”

“Jim tried to present it as completely innocent,” Roxanna replied. “Given the total lack of sex drive he had shown toward me, this was probably true. But I was upset that my husband would even suggest spending a weekend with another woman in preference to me. Even if it wasn't sexual."

"And you didn't divorce him for that?" Dan pressed the issue cautiously.

"No," Roxanna laughed. "I wouldn't give Jim the satisfaction of letting him end our marriage! I did better than divorcing him. I got even with him!”

“How?”

“I went to a travel agency and booked a weekend in Hawaii. For one person. I bought myself the skimpiest bikini I could find. Being a 34C at that time, I was showing a lot of cleavage. I liked how I looked. I felt I looked hotter, sexier, than I ever had before in my life.

"Wearing my new sexy bikini,” Roxanna continued, “I showed my husband the ticket to Hawaii."

“’While you’re off enjoying fishing and camping with this other woman,’ I hissed at him, ‘I’ll be wearing this tiny bikini, sunning myself on a Hawaiian beach. And watching all the great-looking surfer hunks get turned-on by watching me. Maybe I’ll even wander the beach topless in front of the surfer hunks and try to get lucky.’"

"What did your husband say to that?" Dan asked.

"That woke him up. Jim canceled the fishing trip with this other woman, and bought himself a ticket to Hawaii."

"Did you have a great trip?"

"Not really," Roxanna sighed. "As on our honeymoon, Jim made love to me only once the whole weekend in beautiful, romantic Hawaii. In our motel room. Again, it lasted maybe thirty minutes. It started with a little kissing. The only foreplay was me going down on Jim. Then wham-bam inside of me and it was over."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Roxanna. You sound so sweet. You deserve better than that."

"I wanted to drag Jim into the woods and jump on him. I wanted to strip him, fold him in my arms, and roll naked in the ocean surf in his arms. But I knew that trying such aggressive sexuality would get me nowhere with Jim."

"So you gave up on even trying?"

"Well, one night during our Hawaiian second honeymoon, I did try to seduce my husband with my very best blow-job technique. But Jim didn't even get hard in my mouth, the way I like a man to do. And forget about enjoying that pleasant sensation of gulping warm spunk down my throat. It just wasn't going to happen! I was more frustrated than ever!"

"But you stayed with Jim, even after that?"

"Yeah. I guess I was too scared of being alone, to leave him. Then about ten years into our lust-less marriage, our jobs had made us financially well off enough to buy a house of our own. Our new house had two bedrooms."

“After a year in that house,” Roxanna continued, “we both started to feel we should have a child who would occupy that second bedroom and make us a real family. Jim liked the idea of us raising a child together. But he didn't seem much interested in having a child in the traditional way." Big surprise there! This man had almost no sex drive!

"That's when we decided to adopt a child. We enrolled ourselves as foster parents, and took in a six-month-old baby boy. We named him Bobby. Jim showed our son Bobby a lot more warmth and affection than he had ever shown toward me. Holding Bobby, playing with him, kissing his little forehead, tickling his little feet as they laughed together. Jim was a good dad. The adoption agency saw that we were good parents to Bobby, and they approved our application to legally adopt him."

"Our lives now became all about feedings, diapers, playtime, and naptime. Although my husband had never lifted a finger to help out around the house, now Jim took an active role in taking care of our adopted son."

"And then, when our son was three years old…" Roxanna continued, sighing. The trembling in her voice told Dan that Roxanna was on the verge of tears again, as she continued her story. "My husband contracted a slow, degenerative disease."

"The last three years of my marriage were the worst of our entire 17 year relationship," Roxanna softly sobbed. "I watched my husband slowly wither away through a long, lingering illness, and finally pass away."

"Our son Bobby was only six when he lost the only father he had ever known," Roxanna breathed sadly, heavily. "It was very hard for us both. I don't know which was worse. Caring for my ailing husband night and day for three years. Jim being too weak to even touch and caress me—much less anything more intimate. Or finally losing Jim all together. And then being hit with huge medical bills that just about bankrupted me. It was all so very hard on me."

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Written by Eterhout
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