The portal made a hell of a racket as it opened and he stepped through. He immediately stuck his bony hand down into the pocket of his coat and pulled up his cigarette pack and like so many times before stuck the cigarette between his teeth and lit it in a quick motion. A strong inhale made sure the end was lit, and the lovely nicotine went into his mouth and down. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and held it up and looked at it.
“Still can’t figure out how I make this work,” he muttered to himself.
He walked down the hallway and into the office complex where he had his workstation and office. Julie was sitting at the front desk as always. He doubted she ever left.
“Hi, Bill and welcome back. How was your holiday?” He really didn’t like Julie.
“It was fucking amazing. Didn’t see a single soul the entire trip. Can you imagine? Not a single soul for a looong time. Guess that’s what heaven must be like.” Then again, he didn’t really like anyone.
“I’m glad your back. Things have been going a bit slow since you were gone. You know Harry, the new guy? He’s still learning the ropes, so we’re a bit congested on the list.” Bill sighed and shook his head.
“Great. Right back from my vacation and I get to deal with the slack left behind by a fucking newbie. Wonderful.” He headed straight for the corridor that led to his office, “I assume the list and everything is in my office?”
“As it should be, Bill.”
“Thanks, Julie.” He surprised himself and Julie by saying thanks. He must have been in a good mood. He was pretty sure that was about to change now.
He stepped into his office and saw the huge pile of files on his desk. Whatever good mood had been there when he got to work was instantly gone. Bill looked at the desk and picked up the stack of files and put them in his briefcase that would be sent to his workstation downstairs. He took out the top one first.
“Might as well just get to it.” He opened the file and threw it down on his desk as he brought up his pack of cigarettes again and lit another one. Whatever smoking ban was around he couldn’t give any fewer fucks. It didn’t matter anyway.
He continued skimming through the file and stopped. “Fucking Sweden? Aaaah, shit. Like it couldn’t get worse.” He picked up the file and walked over to grab his work tool and then opened a new portal through the wall. “Fucking Sweden. Had to be fucking Sweden. Of course, it had to be.” He stepped through the portal and wandered off to his first job after the holiday.
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Malin woke up with a massive headache. She wondered if she had been drinking way too heavily last night. She was still in the field where they had been partying the night before, so she figured at some point she must have just passed out.
Next to her was the broken Maypole that they had erected a few nights before. Her long blonde hair was a right mess as she brushed it away to get a clear view of the situation with her bright blue eyes. Bottles and cans were lying around in the grass, not unexpected, but other than that it seemed abandoned. What kind of friends did she have that just left her like this? She leaned up a bit, resting on her left hand and groaning as she felt another wave of pain rush through her head.
“Ah God, you’re finally here. Then we can get going. Come on. Chop chop.” Malin blinked multiple times, trying to figure out where the voice was coming from. Not to mention who that voice was, and why didn’t he help her? She heard the familiar sound of a lighter being flicked and what was probably a cigarette being lit. Malin wasn’t a smoker herself, but several of her friends were so she knew the sound all too well.
“Who are you?” She managed to stutter out as she slowly raised herself up into a sitting position. Her head was still pounding, and she noticed her thin white dress was covered in grass. It had slid up halfway up to her thigh, and she had a moment of hangover anxiety as she figured how easily it would have been for someone to get a nice look at her panties while she was knocked out.
“I’m Bill. I’m here to take you away. Now get off your ass and let's get moving. Got lots of work to do.”
Malin slowly began looking around and finally spotted Bill. It was a frightful sight. A few meters away from her stood a figure wearing a black cloak. The cloak was covering the figure from head to toe, a large hood covering the head. There seemed to be a sort of darkness around the figure because she was unable to see its face. What really terrified her were the hands. The scythe in his right hand might have been scary enough, the cigarette in his left not so much, but his hands were pure bone. There was no flesh or anything, just bones.
Malin let out a scream of sheer terror and started pushing herself away from him, still sitting on the ground and not being able to get up on her feet. She stopped as she met a branchy obstacle behind her. All her instincts told her to turn around and climb over, but she couldn’t. Her legs were unwilling to listen, and her arms felt as if they were chained to the ground.
“Always the same reaction. Not a single time do I get one of the sensible ones that see me and go, "Right, okay. That’s enough. I always get the idiots.”
Bill walked closer to Malin and stood about a meter away from her. “Come on. Up you go. Time waits for no drunken sluts.”
“Who… are you? And what… happened?” Malin barely managed to mutter the words.
“You’re dead, not deaf. Maybe your brain capacity is minimal, but not deaf. I told you I’m Bill. As for what happened… remember what you were up to last night?”
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Malin stumbled across the field swinging a quarter filled bottle of vodka in her hand. She had made two mistakes that night. One was going on to the wrong bus and reaching the wrong town. The second was that it wasn’t Midsummer’s Eve until tomorrow and everyone was busy at home prepping for tomorrow.
The only thing available to her was this bottle of Vodka that wasn’t even good. It did get her drunk, so at least it did its job. Now, however, she found herself drunk and horny at the location where tomorrow’s Midsummer’s Eve celebration would happen. She looked up at the giant crossed pole and thought about how weird this phallic object had become something to dance around.
With that thought, her pussy was already sold. She hadn’t been wet until now, just a bit stiff nippled and a feeling of being horny. Now, however, she was feeling wet. The thought of a cock ramming her pussy was enough to send her mind down the one-way street to masturbationville.
She wanted one thing and that was a cock. But since there was no cock around, maybe a phallic object would suffice? Malin walked over to the pole and felt around it. The green oak leaves and branches made it a bit ribbed to the touch, although it was too big to insert in her pussy. It was also too coarse to place her bare pussy on. Maybe with something between it and her pussy could work.
She ran her hand down under her long flowery dress and to her panties. They were probably perfect. The only issue was that there was no good way to get off on it.
Suddenly her eyes caught something interesting near the tables that were put up nearby. A saw. She could cut down the pole, straddle it and then rub her now rather damp panties against it. She stumbled over and grabbed it and walked back. Her idea was fucking great! Or at least that was her perception of it. She knelt at the bottom of the pole and started using the saw.
“Made of some really hard wood, this shit.” The unintended innuendo made her giggle as her arm worked the saw that was digging into the pole. She could hear it cracking as it was halfway sawn through and she could also feel it beginning to wiggle with each stroke.
With three quarters done on the pole, she stood up on her feet after two attempts and then leaned against it. The pole was now wiggling quite heavily from each touch. A strong push with her shoulders got the pole moving into the direction she wanted: down.
She grabbed her bottle as it fell to the ground and walked along the length of the pole, feeling the branches and leaves covering the hardness underneath. She found the perfect spot where the elevation was just high enough where she could go on her knees and still raise and lower her body as was needed, to get the right amount of pressure on it.
She pulled up her dress and placed a hand on her panties, feeling the pussy through the fabric. She was surprised to find out she was soaked. All the work on the pole and the knowledge of what would happen next must have made her hornier than she thought.
She straddled the pole and lowered her body down onto it. With a bit of a bend in her knees, she was resting her pussy on the leaf-covered pole. She could already feel that it would be good and tried sliding up and down. The feeling was good, but a bit too rough. She dropped the vodka bottle and leaned forward, resting her hands and supporting her body on the pole a bit. With a bit of lifting her body up the sensation felt perfect.
She gasped as she started moving her hips back and forth along the length of the pole. The leaves gave a different sensation as the difference in height on the pole gave a different amount of pressure against her clit and lips. She could feel her pussy making her panties wetter as she rode long strokes up and down the pole.
She imagined it being a massive cock rubbing against her, preparing her tight hole to get it ready for a good fucking. The thought along with an angle that stimulated her clit just right made a wave of pleasure shoot up through her body, and she couldn’t help but let out a soft moan.
The strokes had started out slow and a bit teasing at first, but her lust had taken over. They had become shorter and faster now that she was good and wet. Her breathing was getting heavier, releasing a moan every now and then as she could feel the loose summer dress rub softly against her nipples through her movements.
Her pussy was drenching her panties and was beginning to leave a moist trail on the pole and leaves from her humping. Her fingers gripped the pole harder as the waves of pleasure began flowing through her body more and more frequently. Her scent began to fill the air around her, and she could smell it every time she inhaled between her moans. It made her even hornier, and she began to breathe in through her nose just so it could fill her mind with the idea of the pole not being an inanimate object, but someone else. At this point, it wouldn’t really matter if it was a man or a woman.
Her moans and breathing had gone from rhythmic to more erratic as she was now approaching the climax. She could feel her entire body shivering as she humped the green pole back and forth, rubbing her sensitive little clit along the rough edges.
She began imagining the pole being the rough fingers of the carpenter she had fucked back in the city. The thought quickly led to what had followed, his cock being rammed into her tight ass. The memory of her ass being stretched and her hair pulled was enough to send her over the edge with a loud scream, the same scream she had let out as her ass was being pummelled.
Malin’s body shook along the pole as the orgasm rode through her body. The rough leaves pressed and teased her clit as she let out a series of long pleasurable moans. Her fingers almost dug into the wood as her body remained tense and stiff as the pole she had just ridden.
As her orgasm finally subsided, she collapsed on the pole with her chest and face buried in the leaves. She was heaving and doing her best to catch her breath as the post-orgasm feeling rode her body now clinging to the pole so as not to fall off. Her drunken and exhausted arms failed her, and she fell off down on the grass.
“Fuck. Thank you, Mr. Pole, that was amazing.” She grinned at her own joke. Unsteadily she got up to a kneeling position, leaning a bit on her knees against the pole as the world stopped spinning. She grabbed her bottle that was now almost empty due to spilling and got on her feet and started walking away. It would be a rather long walk home, but right now she didn’t care. She'd reached the release she had been needing.
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“Yeah, I remember it now.” Malin let out a little giggle. “That was a fun evening.” Bill sighed and lit another cigarette.
“Must have been, because you tried to do the same tonight. Only two things went wrong tonight, unlike last night. That I guess was a resounding success in your book. Tonight you were pissed drunk, and before you managed to do anything kinky with Mr. Pole the Second he fell down and hit you straight on your empty head and you died.” Bill waited a bit, letting the words hang in the air and sink in.
“Wait, what?”
“You dead. Kaputski. Tot. Muerte. Adios." Bill smoked on his cigarette for a bit, waiting to see if she had any more dumb reactions. “So now I’m here to take you to Hell, or Heaven. Who knows. Who the fuck really cares? I certainly don’t.”
“What? You’re taking me to Hell?” Bill walked over to her and stood at her feet. Malin could see he was shaking his bony head before he found her file again.
“Fuck if I know where you’re ending up. I’m taking you to the processing center. You’ll probably spend a couple centuries there waiting for your caseworker to go through your file and make a decision.”
He swung his scythe down to her so she could feel the blade against her back. There was a slight burning sting to it. “Now get up off your ass and let’s go. You don’t want to force me to use this.”
Malin still felt she had some drunken courage left in her body despite the fact that she was now dead. “Hah. I’m dead! What you gonna do to me? Kill me again?”
“Nope.” Bill pulled a bit on the scythe. Malin let out a scream when she felt the paradox of a burning sensation from the freezing cold scythe. There was no cutting or piercing, just a gentle touch, but that alone was to send waves of excruciating pain through her body.
Finally, Bill let go of her and had another puff on his cigarette. “I can cause you massive mind-blowing pain like you never could imagine. Now quit being a bitch and get up.”
Malin struggled to keep herself in the half-seated position she was in. She felt exhausted and wanted to collapse on the ground, but the sheer fear of another round of the pain made her get up albeit slowly.
“How can I feel pain if I’m dead?” Bill made a large circle with his scythe and opened the portal to the Forgotten Realm.
“Don’t know, don’t fucking care. Big Boss made it so. Take it up with your caseworker, maybe he can give a flying fuck. Now get your ass through the portal. I’m delayed enough as it is.”
“But where are we going?” Bill shook his head in disbelief.
“To the fucking processing center. No bus going there, so you gonna have to walk. Now fucking move, you dumb cunt.” Bill reached out his bony arm and gave Malin a hard push, so she fell through the portal with a loud scream.
He followed after her and as the portal closed, he muttered, “Fucking mindless pricks. I always end up with the brainless ones.”
