Returning from town, I pass my teenage daughter's bedroom.

“Deeper! Push it further in!”

She's brought a lover over? She might have asked.

“Screw me!”

“With pleasure!”

Wait, that was her twin brother's voice!

“It's so hard, that's quite a tool,” my daughter says.

“Twist it a bit, give it a shake.”

My God, It IS my son!

“It's good and tight down there, trust me.”

“I'm getting tired on my knees, can we switch?”

Horrified, I open the door to intervene.

“Look mum, Carlos and I have nearly finished the bookcase!”

Lush Stories is seriously warping my mind.