Sandie, my neighbour’s daughter, nodded attentively while I described which bonsai plants needed careful watering.

I was taken aback when she bent down to admire the Ginkgo. Her skirt rose, her puffy lips stared me out. She turned to smile, “nice, isn’t it?”

I nodded, open mouthed, and before I knew it, my married hand was on her pert bottom and my fingers scissored deeply in her sodden cunt. She held tightly onto the trestles as her legs shook, her hand stifling her moans.

“I’ll send you a picture every day to prove they’re alive,” she winked, leaving the house.