Simon Davenport looked up from his newspaper and saw the Breaking News banner scrolling across the screen above the bar.

Jaxson Witherspoon’s divorce from philandering ex, Christian Bowman, is final after months of courtroom drama.

He sighed. Good for her. About damn time. She deserved better.

Simon looked up again and saw her face as reporters shoved their microphones toward her, hoping for a juicy detail or sound bite. Misery swam in her serious blue eyes, and he felt a pang of sympathy.

Fuckin’ reporters. For the better part of a year, the press had done nothing but hound her for comments about the tawdry details of her husband’s illicit affairs. What more could they possibly want? Why couldn’t they leave her the fuck alone?

Simon folded the paper and tossed it in the trash on his way out. With the rush hour past, he should be able to make it home in time for the ballgame. He’d toyed with sticking around the bar to watch the game, but the comfort of his sweatpants and T-shirt, along with his leather recliner, was calling his name. The game wasn’t starting until 8:15, so it was probably best to go home if he wanted to enjoy a few more beers without risking driving home under the influence. Plus, it was Halloween, and the kids in his neighborhood would be expecting some goodies. He’d best be home to pass out treats so there would be no tricks played on his property.

Jaxson’s face popped back into his mind on the way home. He loved her once. Hell, maybe he still did, since he seemed to have trouble having any meaningful relationships for lack of enough interest in any woman that wasn’t her.

She’d loved him, too, back in high school. But that was another lifetime ago.

In his mind, she’d broken his heart by breaking up with him right before they both left for college. But if he was being honest with himself, he was the one at fault for causing a perfectly good romance to implode. He closed his eyes at the red light and sighed heavily, recalling how she’d looked at him that night, as if the words he was spewing forth were nonsense and gibberish.

Making matters worse, he’d waited until after she’d given herself to him; after she’d allowed him to cum inside her because they were, in her words, “grown-ups now” and didn’t need to worry about the possible scandal of a high school pregnancy.

He’d taken what she offered, then threw it back in her face.

“I hope to God that I didn’t just get you pregnant; we probably shouldn’t do this again. Who knows if we will stay together. I mean, we’re bound to meet other people in college.”

He recalled her face crumpling as he explained that they didn’t need to break up, but they should be aware that high school sweethearts don’t necessarily end up in happy marriages.

“Fuck you, Simon. Last week you took me by the ring counter at the mall and let me get my hopes up. Now you dump your seed in me and then act like it’s just some casual sex that doesn’t mean anything. And you say that we shouldn’t fuck anymore and I should be prepared to accept your meeting someone new in college without even trying to have a long-distance romance.”

“Jax, I’m just trying to be realistic…”

“Get out. I don’t ever want to see you again. But know this: if I end up pregnant, you’ll be hearing from me.”

“How can you be sure it’s mine if you are?”  he asked, purposely callous.

She slapped him hard across the face and pushed him toward the door. So, technically, she broke up with him, but only after he broke her heart.

He remembered feeling sad that he’d never heard from her again. But he supposed that was for the best. He wasn’t mature enough to be in a relationship with a girl like Jaxson, and he’d had no business taking her virginity and then being a prick about it.

An impatient car horn pulled Simon out of his sad reverie. He drove the rest of the way home, trying desperately not to dwell on the fact that he’d regretted that night ever since.

For all his talk about meeting someone in college, Simon had very few dates while he was attending university. Jaxson, on the other hand, met Christian Bowman of the very wealthy and prominent Bowman family. His father owned a shipping company, Bowman Global Transit; Christian took a top position working for his dad the minute he graduated from Harvard.

Although Jaxson was wickedly intelligent and had earned a business degree, Christian convinced her she didn’t need to work and should focus on starting a family. She could become involved with philanthropy if she needed to do something outside the home. His toxic masculinity was nauseating.

Simon saw her in the news a lot and wondered if she was ever truly happy behind that smile. It would take her ten years to get sick of him dicking around behind her back. But she finally found her strength and ended their sham of a marriage. It was sad that it had taken her well over a year to be truly rid of him. But now, maybe, she would be free to be herself, if the press ever left her the fuck alone.

Simon laughed inwardly at the irony of worrying all those years ago that he’d end up an unwilling parent. Christian’s supposed reasoning behind his infidelity was that he wanted an heir, but apparently, Jaxson wasn’t able to have children. Then again, if none of the side pieces had gotten pregnant over the years, maybe Jax wasn’t the one with the problem.

He shrugged as he pulled into his driveway. It wasn’t his concern. So why couldn’t he stop thinking about her?

Once inside, he changed into his sweats and popped open a bottle of beer. He eyed his recliner and longed to just plop his ass down and watch the pregame coverage. But the doorbell rang, and the little ghosts and goblins started their annual tradition of begging for treats. He was tempted to leave the bowl of candy on the front porch, but he knew some of the greedier kids would snag it all. Fortunately, most of the trick-or-treaters were younger, so he managed to turn off the light by 8:00, grabbed another beer, and settled into his comfy chair to enjoy the game.

Sipping his beer and helping himself to a couple of leftover bite-sized Snickers bars, he tried to focus on the football game, but his thoughts kept returning to the girl he’d loved and lost, and to whether she ever thought about him.

He was startled by a loud knock on his front door. The late news was playing on the TV. A quick glance at his watch made him realize he must have nodded off. A second, more persistent knock had him scrambling out of his chair to find out who in God’s name was out there at such a late hour.

He turned on the light and opened the door, about to chastise what he thought was some teenager showing up late for Halloween. But instead, it was Jaxson standing on his porch.

“Jaxson?”

Her face was red and blotchy. Clearly, she’d been crying. He tried hard not to let his pity appear obvious.

“Hello, Simon. Can I come in? I know it’s late, but I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Of course,” he said, moving aside to let her into his house.

“Please, have a seat. Can I get you something to drink?” he asked once she was inside.

“No, thank you, I just…” Jax abruptly stopped short. “I shouldn’t have come here; I should go.”

Simon took her hands in his. Fate had put the woman he couldn’t forget in his living room. He wasn’t about to let her slip away so quickly.

“Sit down,” he said gently. “Let me make you some tea. You don’t have to tell me what’s bothering you, but I don’t think driving while you’re this upset is a good idea. How did you know where I live?”

“You weren’t hard to find. Tea does sound soothing, thank you,” Jax said, sitting down on the couch.

Simon used the microwave to heat the water quickly. He was afraid she would bolt if he took too long making the tea. He put the tea bag in the mug of boiling water and brought it to Jaxson.

“It’s Constant Comment; I hope you still drink that. I remembered that you don’t take anything in it.”

She looked up at him with an amused look as he handed her the tea. “How many years has it been since I’ve seen you, and you remember what kind of fucking tea I like? And actually have it on hand?”

“It’s all you drank in high school,” Simon said. He didn’t bother to try to explain why he felt compelled to buy it and keep it in the cupboard.

She smiled weakly. “I was married to Christian for ten years, and I’d bet a thousand dollars that he couldn’t tell you what type of tea I like or that I even prefer tea to coffee. He never really knew me, never cared to find out the little things about me. I can see now what a mistake it was to marry him.  But at least that part of my life is over.”

“Why did you marry him?” Simon blurted out unintentionally. “Sorry, that’s none of my business.”

“It’s a fair question. I married him because he proposed. I don’t think either of us expected me to say yes. But when I did, there didn’t seem to be any turning back. He swept me off my feet with his charm, and I let myself be carried away by the idea of a knight in shining armor. I suppose it felt good to be wanted. You crushed me when you cast me aside, Simon.”

Pangs of remorse washed over him. He’d been an immature idiot, thinking with his dick. Now, by some twist of fate, she sat here in his living room, letting herself be vulnerable. Not wanting to sound trite, he chose his words carefully.

“I’ll always regret hurting you, Jax. I was foolish to think anyone could ever be better than you. No one could even hold a candle to you. Not that I’ve had many women to compare to you; it’s not like a plethora of females have been breaking down my door.”

Jaxson nodded and looked around the room. “Are you seeing someone now?” she asked, sipping her tea cautiously.

Simon shook his head. “Nope. There’s no one right now. I’ve had a few failed relationships, if you can call them that—nothing ever long-term. I pretty much throw myself into my work these days. And in the evenings, it’s just my hand and me.”

Embarrassment rushed through him; why the fuck had he said that last part?

Jax gave a half-hearted smile. “I’m also well acquainted with my hand since Christian stopped touching me.”

“Why on Earth would any man stop touching you?”

“You did.”

Simon sat quietly for a few seconds. Then shook his head.

“I was a dim-witted boy with fear of missing out; your husband is a grown-ass man with a gorgeous wife.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” Jax said, sliding off her shoes and tucking a foot underneath her like she’d done so many times back in high school. It was a casual move, and it pleased Simon to see her relax. And if they did nothing but talk like old friends tonight, it would be the best night he’d had in years.

“You can tell me anything.”

“Christian is a terrible lover.”

Simon laughed. “Really? Hmmm. Being such a ladies’ man, you’d think he’d be better at it.”

“Nope. Boring as fuck.”

She paused for a moment, then continued. “It took a while for me to understand that his primary interest in me, beyond my persona as a trophy wife, was to produce an heir. When that didn’t happen, his attention waned. I went to the doctor, and they couldn’t find anything wrong, but he was certain it was my fault we weren’t getting pregnant. So, he decided to spread his seed around and see what stuck. But, as he has no children thus far, it would appear that he’s shooting blanks.”

“I’m sorry things didn’t work out,” was all Simon could think to say. “For you, I mean. Not for him.”

“Well, at least his fuckin’ around helped me get a good divorce settlement. The terms of the prenup stated that I needed to be married to him for fifteen years to get any money, unless he was unfaithful. Which he was… many times. He fought it tooth and nail, but in the end, the contract was ironclad. His father was pissed and even hired a man to try to seduce me so I would cheat and nullify the agreement, but I didn’t take the bait.”

“His mistake was underestimating you, Jax. You’ve always been smart.”

“No, I really haven’t. If I had been smart, I wouldn’t have married Christian in the first place.”

Simon shrugged. “I don’t know; I mean, you’re a wealthy woman now, Jax. You could do anything or go anywhere you want.”

“I’d trade it all to just, for once in my life, be truly loved,” she said softly. Her eyes welled up, and her bottom lip quivered.

He thought for a moment she would let go and have a good cry, but he watched her pull herself together, refusing to fall apart in front of him.

“Why are you here, Jax? What do you need from me?” He hoped his tone was as kind as he meant it to be, and not demanding. He didn’t want her to feel pressured; he just needed to know what the end game was here.

She was quiet for a moment. Then she inhaled sharply, held her chin up, and said, “My confidence has taken a huge hit. My ex-husband has painted me as a cold, sexless, greedy shrew. My own mother said I should have just sucked it up and done my duty as a wife instead of embarrassing myself. I just… I needed to… The last time I really felt like I mattered was when I was with you.”

“And then I screwed that up royally.”

“I know I’m not what you want, but maybe… I don’t know… I just thought for one night…”

“You’re everything I want,” Simon admitted.

“I don’t want to start a relationship with you,” she said brusquely. “I just need a really good one-night stand.”

Her words cut like a knife, but he could hardly blame her. She wasn’t looking for anything but a booty call. He should’ve said no. A better man would tell her that he couldn’t take advantage of her vulnerability, that she’d regret a night of casual sex just for the sake of getting off. But he wanted her more than he’d ever wanted any woman, and she was asking him to take care of a need. He owed her that much, didn’t he?

Even though it would hurt like hell if she walked out the door the next morning, he couldn’t send her away. He’d rather be used than spend the rest of his life regretting the chance to be with her one more time.

“Stay with me tonight, Jax, and I’ll remind you what an amazing woman you are.”

Simon took her into his arms and kissed her sensually. He wanted to say that if he did it right, she’d never want to leave. But that was both insulting and presumptuous. He would show her that she mattered, and maybe she’d realize that she was desired and loved. He’d give her what she needed and take what she offered.

She broke off the kiss and said, “I don’t know if I can do this, Simon.”

“One night, Jax. Just give me one night to give you what you need… what you deserve.

She hesitated for a moment. After a heavy sigh, she said, “I can’t promise I’ll stay the night, but… Take me to bed, Simon.”

He took a deep breath, commanding himself to stay cool, but his heart beat wildly as he led her by the hand to his bedroom.

As they stood in his room, kissing passionately, Simon marveled at how this simple act brought back a flood of memories. It was as if time had stood still. She was just as soft and pliant and sensual as she’d been when she had belonged to him. Now she belonged to no one, but had given him permission to be with her, to make her feel desired again.

He refused to squander the opportunity by rushing things. Slowly, he undressed while she looked on, seemingly impressed by what she saw. He suddenly felt grateful for all the early morning gym sessions that had sculpted his body into something worthy of the look in her eyes.

Standing naked before her, he nodded at her to do the same. Biting her bottom lip, she turned her back to Simon and pulled her hair aside.

“Unzip me?”

It was more a command than a question, but he didn’t mind. He took his time, pulling the zipper down while he nibbled on the back of her neck, eliciting soft moans.

She shrugged the dress off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor. She reached back and unhooked her lacy bra, letting it drop as well. Then she slid her matching panties down and stepped out of them before turning to face him again.

She took Simon’s breath away.

Her blue eyes, though still sad, spoke volumes of the desire she felt for him. Her red hair hung in loose curls that landed on the swell of her magnificent breasts that begged to be cupped. The skinny high school girl had matured into a sensual woman with spectacular curves; her hips invited him to smooth his hands over them and pull her body into his.

His hands continued to roam, encouraging her to touch him in return. For a few moments, they delighted in the unhurried foreplay of discovering each other tactilely. But soon enough, it was obvious that they both needed more.

Simon kissed her again, this time with more fervor, and guided her to his bed. She followed willingly, reciprocating each touch, each kiss, with eagerness. She offered herself to him, just as she’d done years earlier, when he’d been too foolish to realize what a gift she was.

No longer a randy idiot looking out for his own pleasure, he gradually kissed his way from her neck, along her breasts, and down her torso until he found her delicate landing strip. His moves were deliberate and unhurried, and he felt her melting under his touch.

Sighs and moans, along with the gentle rocking of her hips, encouraged him to go further. He gently parted her legs and looked up, making eye contact.

“May I taste you?” he asked coyly.

“I think I might die if you don’t. You never had moves like this in high school, Simon. Surely, you’ve had more practice than you’ve admitted to.”

“I honestly haven’t. But I’d like to think I’ve grown up a bit since the days when I’d grope you clumsily in the back seat of my car. You’re like a fine wine, Jax; you need to be savored.”

“I need to be fucked, Simon. You’re driving me mad.”

“I’ve waited years for the chance to touch you like this again. Humor me; don’t make me rush.”

With that, she let her legs fall open, exposing her glistening, needy pussy.

Simon drew things out a little longer, kissing her inner thighs until he finally flicked her pearl with his tongue. Her body responded as though she were meant to be his: hips moving, hands gripping the sheets. As his tongue trailed around the delicate, pink folds, she moaned and purred.

Her back arched a little, then a lot. Before long, she was bucking like a bitch in heat, crying out, begging for Simon to make her cum.

“Oh, my fucking, God, Simon! The teasing and torturing are making me crazy! I need to cum!”

He devoured her like a man who’d been starving for years, because that’s exactly what he was. His tongue and teeth nibbled and flicked until her body lifted off the bed and she came hard, thrashing and screaming.

His patience was rewarded with nectar sweeter than honey; he grinned as the taste and scent of her made him harder than steel. He wondered if she knew just how delicious she was. Determined to show her, he kissed his way back up her body, teasing her belly button with a dip of his tongue. When he reached her mouth, he parted her lips with his and shared her delectable flavor with her.

Her eyes flew open wide at first, then narrowed as if discovering a long-lost secret.

“I’ve never tasted myself. It’s… it’s oddly arousing.”

Simon made her smile when he said, “I’ve never shared a woman’s taste with her before, but it’s really fucking erotic.”

“You’re not wrong,” she said with a throaty purr. “I need you inside me, Simon. I need you to fuck me.”

“I’m going to make love to you, Jaxson, but I promise you, the finale will be a good, hard fuck.”

Her eyes fluttered as he entered her in a fluid, sensual motion. He grinned like a Cheshire cat as he filled her. What he lacked in length, he made up for in girth, and Jax felt just as tight as she had at 18.

“Oh, fuck, Simon! You feel so good inside me!”

“Mmm-hmmm,” was the only response he could muster as he focused on not cumming immediately. It had been a while since he’d had sex with anyone besides himself.

He stayed still for a moment, enjoying the feeling of her soft, wet walls surrounding him. When he felt his control return, he began moving slowly, relishing each thrust that took him deeper.

“God, yes, Simon!”

“You have the most exquisite pussy I’ve ever fucked,” he murmured lowly as he increased the intensity, but kept the pace deliberate. Mating like this with her was glorious; he wanted this feeling to last for as long as possible.

Each stroke inflamed their desire, stoked their arousal, and brought them closer.

He growled; she purred; it was ecstasy.

Eventually, need and lust won out and, true to his word, Simon fucked Jaxson hard, fast, and deep.

“Oh God, yes! Goddd yess!”

As he pounded into her, her magnificent tits bounced, and her tousled hair made her look like a bohemian sex goddess.

She came hard as tidal waves of orgasm caused her to writhe and thrash. Yet she still begged for more.

He continued fucking her relentlessly until he could hold back no longer. His balls tightened as if in a vise grip, and he realized he should have asked before now where she wanted him to shoot his load.

“Come inside me!” Jax cried out as if reading his mind. So he did, taking her over the edge one more time.

Moments later, as he lay with her in his arms, Simon’s heart was still beating so rapidly he feared it might jump out of his chest. And while it was certainly the aftereffects of some earth-shattering sex, he knew part of it was because he wanted desperately to tell her that he loved her. But he also realized that this wasn’t the right time for proclamations of love. She had asked him to make her feel seen and desired, not loved.

So, he kept that thought to himself and held her silently as his breathing slowly returned to normal.

“That was incredible,” he finally said when he could trust himself to speak without blurting out his feelings.

“It was outstanding,” Jax agreed. “It was exactly what I needed. I can’t thank you enough, Simon.”

“Will you stay the night with me?” he asked, hoping he didn’t sound needy.

And though she nuzzled against him, she said, “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

Fuck it, let him sound needy.

“Please?”

She looked up at him and sighed. Her expression was conflicted. Then she smiled weakly. “Yeah, sure. I’ll stay,” she said, sounding like she was fighting a war in her mind between doing what felt good and what felt like a good idea. “I’ll stay, but I can’t promise beyond tonight, Simon.”

“Fair enough. We can take things one day at a time. Whatever pace you need. I’m just not ready to let go of you tonight.”

His mind flooded with memories of times together in high school and visions of what was yet to come. Holding her in the darkness, in the warm comfort of his bed, felt like his world had finally come into focus. He’d wait to use words of love, but he knew for certain that he loved Jax more than any words could say. For now, having her back in his arms would be enough.

She was restless at first, but eventually she succumbed to sleep, and he drifted off right afterward, content and happy for the first time in his adult life.

~~~~~

Morning light poured through the window, peeking between the broken shades Simon kept meaning to replace. He ran a hand through his thick, dark hair and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He noticed the spot on the bed next to him was empty, but still warm. He smiled. She’d probably gotten up to pee, get dressed, or make a cup of tea.

“Jax?” he called out, but she didn’t answer.

He hustled out of bed, threw on a pair of gym shorts, and headed to the kitchen, hoping to find her there.

But the kitchen was empty except for a note next to the teakettle.

His heart sank.

He had thought last night was the start of something amazing with Jaxson, a reunion of sorts that would lead to a second chance at a life together. But the note loomed there, and he realized he’d been foolish to think it was more than just a one-night stand. She needed to get laid, and he was only too eager to take what she offered without any promises of more. He felt like a fool!

He couldn’t bring himself to read the note. He was sure it would only cause him more misery.

He grabbed a protein shake from the fridge and sat just staring at the note. He should just throw it away. But eventually, he had to read it; he needed to know. How could she walk away from what they shared last night?

Dear Simon,

Last night was an incredible reminder of what it feels like to truly be seen and heard. That’s how I felt with you in high school, right up to the moment when you were careless with my heart.

It’s easy to blame you for what went wrong all those years ago, but I should have fought for you, Simon. I should have fought for us. At the very least, I should have waited until you got to college and realized no one out there could replace me. I always thought we were meant to be together; I still believe that in my heart. I will always regret telling you I never wanted to see you again.

But fast forward fifteen years, and as much as I loved being in your bed and in your arms, there is no changing the fact that I’m broken, and I’m not sure even your best intentions can fix me.

I know you hoped for some magical reunion. But I can’t fully love you until I love myself. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us to let lust take over, circumstances be damned. Though it would be tempting; you’re an amazing lover and, yes, I saw God last night—several times.

If I stay with you, I’ll never learn to survive on my own. It would be so easy to let you take care of me. But I need to stand on my own two feet. I hope you understand.

Maybe when I’ve put my failed marriage behind me, I’ll come looking for you again. Maybe the third time will be the charm. Money can’t buy me love, but it can pay for a lot of goddamn therapy, and I intend to do the work I need to do to rebuild my self-esteem. I can’t find that in your bed, but it was a good place to start. Being with you again made me want to do whatever it takes to be a stronger, better version of Jaxson Witherspoon. So, thanks.

I love you, Simon. I always have, and I likely always will. I won’t ask you to wait for me. I can’t. That’s not fair. But if ever I find myself at your door again, I hope you’ll convince me to stay.

Until then,

Jax

Tears clouded his eyes, and he felt a tightness in his chest that made it difficult to breathe. In all the years since he walked away from her, he’d never stopped loving her. Now it was her turn to leave, and though he was devastated to find her gone, he found comfort in knowing she loved him, too.

He folded the note and stuck it in his pocket.

He would wait for her.

Even if it took forever.

But he sure as hell hoped it didn’t. And if she did come back? He’d make sure neither of them would ever have a reason to leave again.