I bite my lower glossy pink lip while looking nervously into your eyes.

"I don't think you will understand," I continue, clenching my hands together in my lap.

When a man cheats on a woman she often feels it is her fault. It isn't of course. But, we feel that way anyways. It hurts in the pit of our being and our thoughts go to the bedroom. What were we lacking? What did she have that we didn't? I had closed myself off from men. I didn't think it was worth the pain; then I met you. I felt a spark when I first saw you. We had been on several dates and I always pulled away at the end of the night leaving you wondering about my interest. You decided to corner me about it.

"Try me," you respond, taking my hand in yours.

"I ... I am not sure I can be with a man again. I don't think I can feel anything anymore," I say quietly, searching your eyes for a glimpse of understanding. "I can't even imagine kissing a man again."

You deeply sigh and look at me with concern. I wish I knew what you were thinking at this moment. I bite my lip again.

"Please close your eyes," you say. "Just trust me. I would never hurt you."

Hesitantly, I close my eyes. I feel your warm hands touch my chin and I flinch a little. Then, a soft kiss on my cheek. My breath quickens.

"Keep your eyes closed."

Your soft kisses continue on my face and reach my lips. One hand is still on my chin and the other is stroking my hair. Tingles run through my head. You kiss me slowly over and over. I start to respond to you. I reach my hand up and hold onto your shoulder as we deepen our kiss. Your tongue gently opens my mouth and my wet tongue meets yours in an embrace.

You break our kiss, I open my eyes, and you ask, "How does that feel?"

"Good. Really good," I say leaning against you, relieved.

You touch my upper chest and say, "I feel your heart beating faster. You can feel again."

I shiver at your touch, but you keep your hand there. Holding my gaze, you unbutton the top button on my top.

"I don't know," I say to you, covering your hand with mine.

"Trust me."

I remove my hand and you continue unbuttoning my top and push my top off my shoulders. Your eyes travel down to my cream lacy bra and linger before your hands unhook it. Gingerly, you pull my bra off my shoulders and let it fall to the floor. I try to cover my breasts and hardened nipples, but you pull my hands back.

"Let me look at you, God, you are beautiful, so beautiful."

Those are words I dreamed of hearing from a man.

Your head bows to take a nipple in your mouth while your fingers circle the other one. I feel an unfamiliar ache in my lower tummy. My back arches and my fingers grab hold of your hair for support. 

You continue to suck my nipples and lift your head to kiss my lips again. Everything you are doing is slow and gentle. You are carefully coaxing me out.

I want to touch you, but can't yet. You seem to know and take my hand and press it against the bulge in your jeans. I move my hand up and down your bulge and search your eyes for some sign of a response. You groan and kiss me with more intensity. It gives me confidence to see my touch excites you. I want more.

"I need to see the rest of you," you say in your sexy voice.

My eyes widen realizing that will be the point of no return. Can I make love again?

You hug me tightly, and my naked breasts press against your warm chest. I feel your hands cup my bottom. You pat me gently before your hands find my waistband and pull my skirt with panties down. You bend down taking them to the floor and lift each of my legs to help me step out of my clothes.

I am at my most fragile at this moment, and you do your best to soothe me. On your knees, you stroke my calves with your fingertips, working your way up to my upper thighs. With slight pressure, you part my legs a little. I feel a touch in between my legs. You see I am not wet. I am still holding back. Taking my hand, you lay me back on the bed with my bottom on the edge and you resume your position on your knees before me. 

This is such a vulnerable position, with your face inches from my pussy. I try to close my legs, but you part them again.

"Trust me. Just relax, close your eyes, and focus on each sensation," you say.

I close my eyes and wait. I feel your finger first tracing my folds, then slowly pushed inside my pussy. It hurts a little. I am clenching my body. You are patient and slowly move your finger in and out and it is feeling better. I feel your wet tongue on my sweet spot in the front, while your finger probes me. 

Pulling out your finger, you say, "You are getting wet, darling."

This excites me. I relax more and focus on your tongue on my clit. I feel a sensation from my lower tummy down to my toes. It is a shooting, electrifying sensation and I move my hips a little.

"That's it, baby," you say pleased, pulling your finger out again to assess my wetness.

You slide in a second finger and I feel something different this time inside my pussy. Something that causes me to catch my breath.

"Do you feel that?" you say.

"Yes, it feels really good. Really, really good," I respond, now clinching the sheets on my sides.

You lean in again and torture my clit again with your tongue. I find it impossible to stay still now. Gasps escape my lips. Thoughts leave my head. I have lost control. 

Your fuck me hard now with your fingers and bury your face in my clit and my world stops.

I freeze.

And explode.

Tears stream down my face.