Chapter One

Medicine Hat, Alberta

June, 1978

Neil watched Stephanie leave the school with Joanne and Iris and as they walked down the steps and strolled toward the bus stop. He couldn’t help but feel horrible after what had happened. How could he have acted like such an idiot? He had never behaved in such a manner before this. What had ever possessed him to make such an erroneous mistake?

Earlier that day Stephanie had been pretty coy, but he was sure he had interpreted her signals correctly. What had gone wrong?

Neil and Stephanie had been friends since grade school. They had been that rare combination of buddies who had gone all the way through school together, played together, gone to each other’s parties, their families had even taken the odd vacation together. But there was never any question of a physical relationship. They were just best friends.

After they entered high school and had begun to mature and go through the inevitable personality changes, they had to some extent, drifted apart.

While Neil had grown into somewhat of a nerd who now was more interested in books and computers, Stephanie seemed more interested in fashion, friends and frivolous activities.

Nevertheless, Neil had noticed the physical changes in Stephanie to the point where she had suddenly became an object of desire.

Unfortunately for Neil, Stephanie had begun to hang around with a different and more adventuresome crowd. Lamentably, some of the adventures had met with disastrous results.

But Neil still held on to the belief that it was just a phase she was going through and that she would come around to her old fun loving self, once she got it out of her system. She would eventually realize her new friends were bad news.

The previous Saturday, they had gone to a movie together and as they arrived at her parent’s home, she turned to him and with a warm smile, coyly uttered, “Well, Neil like my parents are out for the evening would you like to come in for awhile. We could like hang out and watch T.V. or play Xbox. I got a new game, ‘Telltale’s Walking Dead’, and it’s like really cool.

So Neil enthusiastically consented to go in and hang out. What had happened was his hormones got the better of him and as the two of them were lying on the floor in front of the T.V. he suddenly forgot about the game and started rubbing his hand up and down Stephanie’s back.

When she didn’t resist, he advanced a little further and started rubbing her neck and snuggling a little closer.

“Neil, what are you doing?” she suddenly asked rather pointedly.

“Oh come on Steph,” he said. “You want this as much as me. Isn’t that why you invited me in?”

At that she instantly rolled on her side away from him and exclaimed in no uncertain terms, “What the fuck are you talking about! Want what!”

Not to be deterred, he put his arm around her and pulled her close. He could feel her resisting but persisting, he pressed his lips hard on her mouth while he fondled her breast at the same time.

She managed to get both hands against his chest and with all the strength she could summon, pushed him away. Jumping to her feet, she screamed,

“Neil, what the Christ is wrong with you!?” Stephanie standing with her hands clenched into tight little balls, not feeling very brave but refusing to let her fear get the best of her, took a deep breath and continued screaming, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing!? I think you’d better get out of here now!”

Neil stared at her pleadingly with outstretched arms and before any words came out of his mouth, he bolted up the stairs and out of the house.

Now, one day later, the dilemma that faced Neil was should he approach Stephanie, try and explain and ask her forgiveness, or should he just stay mute and hopefully over time she might let it go and act as if nothing had happened at all.

This was a constant thorn in his craw. It constantly plagued him until the phone rang the following day.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Hi Neil. It’s Stephanie.”

“Oh … hi Steph. What’s happening?” Neil did he best to sound nonchalant, but inside he was a bubbling mess of butterflies, not knowing what she was going to say.

“Look Neil,” she continued, “can I talk to you a minute?”

“Sure Steph. What is it you want to talk about?” By now Neil was really confused by her call, her tone of voice and what she might say.

But she allayed his fears by saying, “Look Neil, I’m really sorry about last night.”

“No … no … “Neil interrupted. “You have nothing to apologise. It was …”

“No, let me finish. You kind of caught me off guard. I guess like I kind of overreacted and I feel really bad about it. So I was wondering like, if I could like make it up to you.”

Now Neil was really perplexed. After her reaction to his advances, regardless of how clumsy they may have been, why would she so quickly do a complete about turn?

Before he could come up with a response to this new line of dialogue, Stephanie continued with, “So, like my parents are out tomorrow evening, and I was thinking, how would you like to come over?

“Sure, yeah that would be good. So, yeah, I’d like to come over. What time?”

“Any time, like after around 7:30 would be okay.”

“Okay, great! I’ll be there. See ya then … and thanks Steph.”

The next day Neil spent the entire day on pins and needles wondering what was going on. He wanted desperately to see Stephanie. There was something strange in her voice that should have caused bells to off in his brain. They and been friends for so long that they often joked about how they could read each other’s thoughts. So now, what was there that was not ringing true.

Because of his desires, he shrugged off the warning signals and told himself he was being silly. So when it came time to go, he just put the uneasy feeling out of his mind and looked forward to seeing her and hopefully maybe even making out with her.

Stephanie greeted him at the door with a smile and wearing a pair of jean shorts that barely covered her bottom. Her long blonde hair was pulled back in a pony tail and she sported a flimsy print blouse gathered and tied under her breasts.

“Oh! Hi Neil,” she said. “Come on in.”

Without any preamble, she turned and went downstairs as Neil followed. As soon as they reached the bottom of the stairs Stephanie turned and with arms extended up and around Neil’s neck, she said in a very seductive manner, “I’m like really sorry about the other night, Neil. Maybe we could start afresh … like what do you think?”

As much as he wanted her, to hold her, to even rip the clothes right off her and throw her down and have passionate reckless sex with her, he wanted to square their relationship first. He looked her straight in the eye and said, “Well, look Steph … I don’t want to give …”

But she abruptly interrupted by reaching down and taking his jeans in her hands, unbuttoned and unzipped them. “Why don’t you just relax like, and let old Steph take care of you.”

As she put her hands inside his shorts and taking a hold of his penis started kissing his neck. His cock was already rock hard but this action started it throbbing to the point of being painful, while his head started to spin.

As she slowly kissed her way down, she pushed his jeans completely down and freed his throbbing member from the confines of his underwear. The anticipation was just too much for Neil. He started gasping, “Oh Steph … oh my God … Steph!”

When she was completely on her knees, she started rubbing her lips up and down the length of his aching phallus. At this point Neil was finding it hard to keep his balance.

She toyed with him this way by massaging it with her hands, gently kissing the length of it with her lips, licking and teasing until he was just about ready to explode his full bag. But she came short of actually putting it in her mouth. She suddenly withdrew and whispered, “Look, Sugar, like there’s a bed in the other room there. Why don’t I go in and get comfortable, and when I call you, you come in?”

“Oh my God Steph … Yes, yes,” he breathlessly whispered.

Neil watched her seductively get up and walk the length of the den into the adjoining room. After a minute or two she called out to him and he almost sprinted through the door, with his pants still around his ankles.

The scene that awaited him inside that room was one which would haunt him for many years! While his eyes took in the sight, his brain just didn’t, wouldn’t and couldn’t grasp the truth and depravity of the unbelievably horrible situation.

Standing in the middle of the room were Stephanie and her friends Joanne and Iris. Three statues of formidable power and presence standing tall and all seeing, staring at a small insignificant little boy, semi nude totally exposed to the world.

It took Neil about a millisecond to take it in, even though it equated to a life time. He stood red faced and while trembling from head to toe, looked squarely at his Judas and screamed, “You bitch … you fuckin’ worthless piece of shit. How could you … how fuckin’ could you do this to me!”

And at that, turned through the door, gathered his clothes and ran up the stairs and out of the house.

End of Chapter One

***

Chapter Two

Vancouver, British Columbia

June, 1992

“Neil, we have to attend that conference. It promises to be to our advantage if we’re intending to use that new software that Smith & Merrick have just developed.

“Well Bob, I agree, but maybe we should hold off on jumping to assumptions just yet. Don’t forget it hasn’t been proved to be effective yet, you know.”

“Oh come on Neil, that’s not how you’ve gotten to be so successful, by not taking chances. I imagine you’ve had it pretty much your way all your life. You don’t get to run one of the biggest software manufacturing companies without taking chances mixed with a little bit of luck along the way.”

Neil and Bob, his vice president in charge of production were discussing buying the rights to a software program that was just being developed. The remark caused Neil to think of his journey to this point.

Yes he had had some luck along the way, but he really didn’t think that easy described the climb to the top of the ladder. He had always been just on the edge of what was described in high school as somewhat of a dork or more precisely a nerd. School had always come easy to him but at the time he had enjoyed the odd girlfriend and also participated in other school activities.

After that ugly incident at the end of high school, he had stayed pretty much to himself. Neil graduated from university with a Masters in computer science and then achieved an MBA. He started his company singlehandedly and then took on Bob as a partner when it had become too big to manage on his own.

“Okay Bob, we’ll go. I have a meeting this afternoon and then I’m going to be out of the office tomorrow, so if you don’t mind taking care of the airline tickets and the registration for the conference, it would be appreciated.”

“No problem, Neil. Just leave it to me. I’ll take care of everything.”

The following week, as Neil was walking through the hotel in Chicago on his way to the registration desk, a woman walked past in front of him. She was about 5’ 6” in a stylish pair of pumps, slim, and dressed in a well tailored pin striped charcoal grey business suit. Her blonde hair, framing a petite, beautifully proportioned oval face, was cut short and she walked with a certain air of authority and confidence.

There was something about the woman that sent a chill through Neil’s entire body. He couldn’t put his finger on it at first but it kept gnawing at him until, like a thunderbolt it hit him. Stephanie!

The nightmare of that incident so long ago, had taken over a year for him to be able to flush it from his consciousness and now it was back in all its gory detail. What was there about that woman to have caused this flashback? Surely it couldn’t be her, he would have recognized her. He put in out of his mind for the time being and proceeded to the registration desk.

There he was met with a very amiable young lady who was only too happy to take care of his registration as well as offer a flirt indicating she wouldn’t be averse to joining him later in the cocktail lounge after her shift. Without appearing rude, he politely declined, gathered his brochure and necessary papers and headed off to the main conference room.

The next two days were spent in meetings, conferences and workshops. As the second day was winding down Neil managed to sneak out of the last meeting and headed straight for the elevator. He was anticipating a nice long shower, an early meal and a good nights sleep before heading to the airport.

The elevator door opened and there she stood. The same girl he had seen two days ago. This time Neil had the presence of mind to stand his ground and as she exited the doorway, he said, “Excuse me, I know this sounds lame, but do we know each other?”

Obviously taken aback, she froze in her tracks, a flicker of recognition stirred in her eyes, then instantly regaining her composure tilted her head up and looking straight ahead took a broad step out of the elevator brushing past Neil.

At this point Neil wasn’t going to be put off as he had time to digest all the consequences of confronting this woman, if indeed it was she.

“Stephanie!?” he called out.

The woman stopped dead in her tracks, squared her shoulders and turned. “Excuse me?” She said with venom dripping from her words.

“Stephanie … Stephanie Rostrup!” he exclaimed.

Suddenly her demeanour changed and in a more conciliatory tone said, “I’m really sorry, but I’m in a hurry and I don’t have time to …”

“It is you, isn’t it? My God after all these years, what’s it been, fifteen years at least?”

With feigned annoyance, she stammered, “Look I don’t know you and … and I really wish that you would …”

“Oh no you don’t! You don’t get away that easily.

I know it’s you and you know who I am, so cut the crap!”

With obvious chagrin and a softening of her eyes, she looked at him and softly said, “Look Neil, yes I know who you are and I’m really sorry but I don’t see as we have anything really to talk about.”

“Well I think you would agree that I should be the one to decide whether we have or whether we don’t.”

At this point Stephanie appeared completely deflated. She tilted her head and staring at the floor uttered, “Well … yes … I guess so. But you see … it’s just that …”

Seeing her give in to his aggressiveness, Neil suddenly and inexplicable showed a change of attitude. Instead of his original intent, offered instead, in a softer tone, this, “Look Stephanie, I don’t mean to … well … what I’m trying to say is … Look, why don’t we go somewhere, sit down and just have a nice long talk?”

“I would like that Neil, really I would, but right now I’m on my way to an important meeting and I just can’t afford the time.”

“Well,” he countered, “please give me a way of reaching you, or better still here’s my card. It has my cell number on it. Give me a call as soon as you have the chance and we’ll arrange something.”

With that Stephanie, took the card, put in her bag and said, “I will Neil, I promise. But I really have to go now, sorry.” With that she turned quickly and walked across the lobby toward the front doors as Neil stood mesmerized, watching her exit the hotel.

All that night Neil relived the experience. The shock, the humiliation, the terrifying nights of nightmares that followed came flooding back as if everything had just happened yesterday. Why? He decided that if he was actually going to see Stephanie again, he was going to be rational. Flying off the handle and accusing her and telling her how he wanted revenge on her was not going to help him. He only wanted to know one thing, why?

* * * * *

For two days he fretted. Two days of constant nagging in his head. Two days of wanting to get the call from her, of not wanting to get the call from her was driving him more and more on edge. Then it came.

Right in the middle of an important meeting his phone buzzed. He answered it with some embarrassment, jumped up, excused himself and left the room, phone in hand.

They spoke just long enough to make the necessary arrangements. He would fly to New York the following weekend and they would meet in the hotel’s lounge Saturday night.

* * * * *

“Hi, been here long?” Stephanie said, rather apologetically, as she approached the table where Neil had been waiting for the past twenty minutes.

“No, not really,” he said. Figuring it wouldn’t serve any purpose to start off by seeming annoyed that actually he had been waiting.

As Stephanie threw her coat over the chair and started to sit, with total indifference Neil asked, “What can I get you?”

“A white wine, dry, would be nice, thank you.”

The waiter came to the table and Neil ordered the wine and a scotch for himself. After the waiter left, there was an awkward silence for a few seconds before Neil opened with the same monotone, “So Stephanie, what are you up to these days and what are you doing in New York?”

At that point Stephanie shocked Neil with, “Look Neil, I don’t really feel like sparing with you. I realize what we have to resolve and I’d just as soon get it out of the way. I wouldn’t blame you if you still hate me, so let’s get on with it.”

Looking directly into her eyes, Neil softly replied, “Stephanie, I don’t hate you. I guess I never really did hate you, but I sure would like an explanation. I don’t think you could ever understand exactly the effect that what you did had on me. Otherwise, you never would have gone along with it.

She lowered her head and staring aimlessly, and almost in a whisper said, “I know.”

Then looking up and looking directly at Neil in the same tone of voice, she continued, “Neil, what I did was horrible and unforgivable and I want you to know I’ve thought about so many times since.

“I’m not offering it as an excuse but you have to understand that those girls were just downright evil. My mistake was in telling them about you making that move on me and how shocked I was at the time. They were the ones who came up with the idea. I didn’t have the strength to say no to them. You have to believe me, I’m so, so sorry. Really Neil you’ll never know how sorry I was … I am. For days … weeks after, I wanted to see you and try to explain but again, I just didn’t have the courage to face you.”

Suddenly she stopped and once again stared into empty space. Tears began welling in her eyes. As her bottom lip started to quiver, she looked back up at Neil and imploringly asked, “What else can I say?”

This is not what Neil expected. He wasn’t sure how this was going to develop but suddenly he was confronted with a conundrum. He still felt the need to unburden himself with years of pent up anger and emotion. He still wanted to lash out and make somebody pay for the pain and anguish he had suffered. But what good would it do? What would be achieved by shooting vindictive arrows at the quickly unravelling creature sitting opposite him?

“Nothing, I guess.” Was all he could utter. “I believe you. I believe you really are sorry. I may be stupid and an overly soft idiot, but I believe you Stephanie. Right now I think that you really did suffer to some extent over the whole thing as well.

Neil anticipated that by saying this, she would have accepted his declaration and it would have caused her to exhibit some elated release. Instead it seemed to have the opposite effect. She burst into tears and began sobbing uncontrollably.

Neil, looking at her in her present state and suddenly feeling compassion for her said, “Look Steph.” But he got no further.

Her head jerked up with recognition of the past, between sobs, she said, “My God Neil, do you know how long it’s been since you’ve addressed me just that way? How I’ve longed to hear you utter those words?”

Stephanie managed to get herself under control eventually and the atmosphere at the table changed considerably. They spent the next two hours exchanging stories regarding each other’s lives, as the waiter made numerous trips between their table and the bar. They left agreeing to keep in touch and see each other as often as possible.

* * * * *

“Wow, that was such a great evening, I had such a great time.” Was Stephanie’s remark as they entered Neil’s condo in Baltimore.

Stephanie had flown down for the weekend and they had packed as much into two fun filled days as was humanly possible.

Over the past month they had kept the promise they make to each other about keeping in touch. It had started with Neil having to go to New York for another business meeting and that in turn had led to each of them making the 45 minute plane trip as often as time in their respective schedules permitted.

And now after another evening of dinner and a Broadway show, they had come back to Neil’s condo on Greenwich Ave.

“Well, Steph, you deserve it,” Neil sincerely said in response.

“Now Neil, why would you say I deserved to have a good time?” she asked, teasingly.

Grabbing her by the shoulders and turning her to face him, Neil looked directly into her eyes, and softly continued, “Because Steph, you deserve the best of everything.”

Suddenly, Stephanie sensed the mood of the conversation was shifting. She found it hard to read him and started to feel uncomfortable with the change. But couldn’t think of anything to say except, “Why Neil, what a sweet thing to say.”

Holding her even tighter, Neil was overcome by her scent, the way her hair curled under her ears and the glow that emanated from her unbelievably beautiful blue eyes. Tentatively, he lowered his head closer, his lips hovering just above hers.

Time stood still as he waited for some, any kind of reaction from her. As he felt suspended in space, standing in front of her, holding her, images from the past flooded his mind.

Without any warning, the frozen block of time was shattered. Stephanie lifted her arms, wrapped them around his shoulders and pulled herself up to meet his inviting lips. As their lips parted, Neil felt Stephanie’s tongue searching for his own and the instant they touched, the electricity surged through Neil’s entire body.

All the pent up emotions and desires that had been building over the last few days came bubbling to the surface. Moving his arms down to her waist, he pulled her tight into his own body. As the kiss lasted, the passion erupted in both of them simultaneously.

Neil released his hold on her long enough to bring his arms up and cup her face in his hands. He looked pleadingly into her eyes and said, “Oh Stephanie, my God Steph I love you so much. I’ve always loved you, even when I hated you, I loved you.”

“Oh Neil, please … please hold me. Hold me close and don’t ever let go,” she whispered.

As Neil held her, all the years of guilt seemed to flow through every pore in her body. The absence of the oppressive weight that she had been carrying left her feeling light headed and sexually vulnerable.

Neil began kissing her face all over. He lightly rubbed his lips over her forehead, her nose, and her cheeks, even kissed he neck and throat, which in turn cause her to moan and whimper.

Stephanie held tight to his presence. She grabbed and clutched at his back while feeling flushed all over. The burning in her caused her to tremble with fear mixed with anticipation.

He picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. Gently laying her across the bed, he had to take hold of her wrists and pry them from around his neck. Neil lay down beside her and without any hesitation two sets of arms were roaming and groping. Each set of arms wandering over the other’s body, seeking and each becoming more aroused by the second.

With clothes that had been strewn in every direction lying helter-skelter on the floor, two naked bodies lay writhing in the middle of the room, completely enveloped by each other.

The fire that was burning deep within her soul came roaring to the surface and Stephanie lost what little control she had possessed up to that point. She reached for his rigid, swollen penis and guiding it between her blood rich, wet velvety lips, uttered, “Now Neil, oh my God … now …please!”

As Neil felt her completely devour him, the realization of everything coming to a head was too much. Three quick thrusts and he exploded his heart and spirit into the very essence of Stephanie’s soul.

They lay embracing each other for a good time before Neil realized Stephanie was imperceptibly sobbing. When asked what was wrong, she smiled through tears and replied, “Nothing, absolutely nothing.” And with that she reached for his hand, and placing over her breast, squeezed it gently and whispered, “I want to spend the rest of my life making so much up to you.”

Neil lowered his head and began to kiss and suck on her nipple. The amazing sensation of her soft supple flesh against his tongue was enough to send the necessary blood needed to engorge his penis to be once again a hard throbbing instrument of pleasure. As he rubbed his tongue all around the hard erect nipple, he massaged her other breast with his hand.

She began to moan, uttering soft gurgling sounds from deep within her throat. Neil gradually worked his way down to her thighs. He tenderly caressed and grazed his hands down each inner thigh. As he brought his hands back up, he lovingly traced the line of her vaginal lips with his fingers. At his feathered touch, Stephanie moaned even louder as shivers rippled through her entire body.

Spreading her legs a little further apart, he started to lick the soft skin where little beads of her juices had appeared. He slowly ran his tongue all around, taking in the sweet musty, salty aroma and teased the warm swollen flesh.

By the way Stephanie was moaning and arching her back, Neil sensed she was on the precipice of a climax. Instead of intensifying her arousal, he moved up on her and gently taking her head in his hands, guided her down to his iron stiff erect cock.

Surprisingly, will all her sexual experience to this point, Stephanie had never had a penis in her mouth. She had seen the videos and been in on friend’s conversations extolling their sexual exploits. But strangely, the one experience that had eluded her was sucking cock.

She could see little droplets of pre-cum on the end. While holding the stiff shaft with one hand, she ran her fingers over the beads and put her finger to her mouth. Instantly she felt an exhilarating sensation stemming from tasting the inner essence of her lover.

As she opened her mouth and slowly, tenderly ran her lips up the shaft, Neil felt reborn.

She took all of him and he could feel the end of his cock gliding down her throat. The hot soft inside of her mouth was as if the walls of heaven were shrouding his soul. The way she would slowly take it out with her lips encircling it tightly, and then run her tongue up and down the shaft causing him to shiver with arousal and excitement.

After repeating this a few times, Neil could tell he was at the brink of exploding, but with all his will power, he grabbed Stephanie’s head and pulled her off.

Positioning himself over her, he grabbed his throbbing, swollen cock and gently slid it in between her wet, swollen lips which at this point were anticipating its penetration with unfathomable desire.

“Oh my God, Neil!” she whimpered. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and feeling her breasts firm against his chest, pulled himself deep into her. With seemingly endless thrusts, they were freed from the conscious world around them as they floated together through the netherworld of enchantment and ecstasy.

With a loud scream and a violent pelvic spasm, Stephanie found the release that had for a long time, been building deep within her. For the longest time, for fear she would mystically disappear, Neil held her tightly.

Sleep came without awareness and the morning dawned on two lovers, lying content in having finally found themselves as well as each other.