Welcome back to my sexual autobiography, answering questions posed on the Lush forums for which I have a truthful answer!

This poster asks, what was your most embarrassing sexual moment?

One of them has already been told in this series. It's in "The sluttiest thing I've done" and, rather than repeat it here, let's just say that the moral of the story was, if you have a gentleman over for a night of heedless passion, change the bin and throw out the full condoms the next morning...it can't wait!

At college, during a wild night of sex, my boyfriend and I broke the bed, which was cheap plywood and old, to be fair.

I was on my back, legs around his neck. He was really going for it. Each thrust felt like a battering ram. I was a heartbeat away from a serious orgasm. I closed my eyes and arched my neck back.

Suddenly, our revels were interrupted by a hideous crack and we both dropped about a foot!

Anyway, the damn university put it on the bill for fees that they sent to my parents! When they asked me about it, I didn't tell them the whole story, of course, but my mum said "You're blushing, MC1982. We get it, we weren't born yesterday!"

And I saw they were trying not to laugh, and had raised it just to tease me! I fled the room!

But I think my most mortifying moment occurred as follows, and was the first of these three incidents chronologically.

At that time in life, I was living with my parents and working during the summer holidays between years at college. It was my childhood home and my brother and sister both had rooms in the house. My older brother had left home, so it was just my little sister, JC1984, our parents and me.

The guy I was dating, who was called Francesc, had done something above and beyond the call of duty for me that week and was seriously in my good books.

I decided to reward him with an invite to a dinner date and to round off the evening with a surprise blowjob, which I could deliver at home because my parents would be out late and my sister was away at this sort of church camp.

We had a lovely romantic meal down by the beach. We walked to my place together.

"Follow me," I said and led him into the bedroom. He got onto the bed.

"Uh-uh," I said, "Stand up, please."

"Really?" he said, a grin spreading across his face. He knew what that meant.

He stood and I undressed him, kissing his chest and tummy before lowering his trousers. I exposed his cock, which was half hard already, and then I knelt and got to work.

I licked it all over. I sucked gently around the tip and worked upwards. He stood there with his hands on his head, looking down at me. I made sure we made regular eye contact, which was essential both for intimacy and for me to gauge how I was doing. I was still learning the trade after all.

Nature took its course and ten minutes later I was, frankly, gnawing and tugging on his penis like a dog with a bone. And Francesc, understandably, was not holding his tongue.

"Oh, MC1982, suck it. You are so good at that. Oh, I'm going to come, just suck it," he said, or words to that effect.

"You can come whenever you want," I said. "And it's cool to come in my mouth today."

Well, naturally, as orgasm rushed upon him, Francesc grew more vocal and then, with a 'Yeeesssss!", semen flooded out across my tongue. I looked up at him, gave him a smile and swallowed.

It was only when we'd cleaned him up with a tissue that I heard JC1984 emerge from her room and cross the hall to the bathroom. I hadn't known she was home!

I clung to the hope that she might have had headphones in. The look she gave me when we next met in the corridor left me in no doubt. My sister had heard everything as I blew my boyfriend!

I ushered Francesc out, then went upstairs to deal with JC1984, trying to decide between vast sums in bribes or bloodcurdling threats...

Nowadays, she still, very occasionally teases me about that evening! This scenario, where the daughter or son brings a lover home mistakenly thinking the house is empty and is overheard has, I imagine, played out in many a household. But it certainly was no less excruciating for it!

And those, ladies and gentlemen, have been my most embarrassing sexual experiences!