It had been around 3 years since my torrid one-night stand with Tara. I was now in my senior year of college, trying to push across the finish line to graduation. I would earn my degree in Film and Television Production at the end of the spring semester.

Within a few days of our lust-fueled romp, I had ditched my god-fearing, chastity-loving girlfriend. She didn’t seem too broken up about the breakup, and neither was I.

With the confidence boost Tara had given me, I eventually started dating another girl who (as Tara predicted) liked fucking just as much as boys did. She was a year ahead of me in school and after graduating, she had taken a job in another state, leaving me unencumbered.

I would occasionally visit the local adult bookstores, searching the magazine racks for glimpses of Tara. I didn’t see her often, but whenever I did, I bought the magazine and used it for my own self-gratification until it was used up. I remember she’d said that the thought of random guys pounding their meat thinking of her really turned her on. I hoped she was turned on, because I was regularly pounding my meat thinking of her. Pictures of Tara sucking some lucky guy’s dick with the same mouth that had sucked mine had me spilling my seed on those pages over and over again. I don’t think I was obsessed with her, but obviously I still lusted after her. Everyone remembers their first time.

With just a month left before graduation, I quit my job at the wine shop to concentrate on my studies. The world of film and television production was facing a paradigm shift in the early 80s. The invention of affordable portable video cameras and recording equipment and reusable video tape was quickly replacing traditional film cameras.  

As it has been with every mass communications breakthrough in history, it was the pornographers who were the early adopters. An adult feature film that cost many thousands of dollars to shoot and edit on 16mm or 35mm film could now be produced on videotape for a fraction of the cost.

At the same time, the introduction of VHS and Betamax home video players and recorders now allowed people to view movies in the privacy of their own homes. Those X-rated films that you had had to sneak off to some sleazy adult theater to see could now be viewed right in your bedroom.

The porn industry shifted almost overnight. Hard core magazine publishers became hard core video producers. Adult bookstores became adult video rental stores. X-rated theaters died from a lack of business. The demand for more and more adult videos skyrocketed. In short, porn was being consumed faster than it could be churned out. Dozens and dozens of small, medium and large porn production companies opened their doors for business. Everybody wanted a piece of the action.

And there I sat, smack in the middle of the “San Pornando Valley”, about to go looking for my first job in television production.

Oddly, as much as I loved looking at porn, I wasn’t particularly interested in making it. The thought of standing behind a camera watching people fuck all day without being able to participate just didn’t appeal to me. Kind of like being a diabetic pastry chef. I was aiming for a job at one of the many major studios in LA. ABC, CBS, NBC, Paramount, Warner Brothers, Disney… they were all right on my doorstep.

Graduation came and went. I submitted resumes at all of the legit production companies I could find, but no one was interested in hiring a newly graduated kid with no experience whatsoever.  By the end of the summer, I was starting to get desperate. I’d had no income since I quit the wine shop and I was down to the bottom of my savings account. I reached out to all my friends, friends of friends… anybody and everybody.  it wasn’t looking good.

Finally, I contacted an old high school buddy. I knew that his dad was a big-wig at one of the major studios. Was there ANYTHING he could do for me?

My buddy’s dad was very nice. He told me he couldn’t hire me at the studio because of my lack of experience. (Where had I heard THAT before?) But he said there were a couple of guys he knew that were just getting a new startup company off the ground. “They need someone who knows his way around video cameras and equipment and can work cheap. Think you can handle that?”

“Absolutely!”

I knew what it was, but at this point it didn’t matter. I’d rather stand behind a camera watching people fuck all day than stand on a freeway off-ramp holding a cardboard sign.

The thought did cross my mind that I might run into Tara, but I dismissed it as too far-fetched and wishful thinking.

 Two days later, I found myself walking, resume in hand, through the parking lot of a nondescript warehouse complex in Chatsworth, in the northwest corner of the valley. I definitely had the right address, but there was no sign or any other indication of the business inside. I hesitantly entered and found myself standing alone in the front office of a…. I just didn’t know.  The walls were bare and there was nothing other a desk and a potted plant in the room. After about 3 or 4 minutes of shuffling my feet and trying to make enough noise to alert anyone of my presence, the inner door opened and a young woman stepped out.  She was pretty, with dark brown hair, dressed in a tight miniskirt and low-cut blouse. She appeared to be about my age, but had an extremely hard edge about her.

“Can I help you”, she asked, making no attempt to hide the boredom in her voice.

“I’m Stuart.” I tried to sound upbeat and positive. “I’m here for a job interview. “

Still bored, she asked, “Did you bring dick pics?”

I knew I was in the right place. “Uhh… no. This is for a video technician job.”

“Oh, right.  Hang on.”  She disappeared through the door again, leaving me standing alone.

“Maybe I should have brought dick pics,” I thought to myself. I was nervous, but it made me smile.

After another few minutes, the door opened, and she stepped out again, this time with a man. Middle-aged, swarthy, enormous beer gut and a 4-day stubble of a beard on his face. He was wearing shorts, a dirty t-shirt and flip flops. Even from 6 feet away, he smelled like a bus station ashtray. Suddenly, my jacket and tie seemed like overkill.

“You Stu?” he asked me, sticking out his hand.

I shook it. “Yeah.”

“I’m Vince. I’m one of the partners. Come on back.” He motioned me through the door. As I followed him, the girl leaned close to me and whispered conspiratorially, “Whatever you do, DON’T sit on the couch.”

Vince led me down a short hallway to his office. The walls were lined with framed photos of very hot girls, all naked, all posed to show off their best “assets.”

Entering Vince’s office, I had to suppress a gag reflex. The stench of cigarettes, cigars, beer, stale food (and possibly urine) was overwhelming.  We both took seats, Vince behind a desk, and me on the chair in front of it. I took great care to avoid the couch. His office walls were adorned with photos of some of the same women from the hallway, but in these photos, they weren’t just showing off their assets, they were putting them to good use.

Fortunately, the interview was short, because Vince chain smoked the whole time. He asked if I knew how to operate and maintain cameras. I said yes. He asked if I knew how to edit video. Again, yes. Then he said, “We can’t pay a whole lot of money. It’s 40 hours a week, but we can only go $20 an hour. “

I tried my best to maintain a good poker face, but I’m sure I failed. At the wine shop, I’d been getting about $6 an hour.

“I think that would be fine,” I managed to stammer.

“Great! You can start tomorrow! We’re shooting some scenes for our next release. Be here at 9. The girls are coming at 10, so we need to get the set laid out and lit.”

Vince gave me a quick tour of the place, including the studio, editing bay and dressing rooms. The props closet was… interesting. The largest collection of dildos, strap-ons, handcuffs, whips, collars and ball-gags I’d ever seen. It was like someone had walked into the toys section of an adult bookstore and said, “Give me three of everything.”

Heading out, I saw the girl who I’d talked to earlier. “How’d it go?” she asked.

“Great! I start tomorrow!”

“Well, good luck. This place can get weird really fast,” she said. She stuck out her hand. “I’m Diamond.”

“Nice to meet you, Diamond,” I replied. “Will I see you tomorrow?”

“Oh, you’ll see LOTS of me tomorrow.”

I had a feeling I knew what that meant. As I turned for the door, Diamond conspiratorially whispered again, “Please tell me you didn’t sit on the couch.”

“Not a chance,” I whispered back. “Why?”

“Those cushions have enough of Vince’s jizz in them to fill a sperm bank!”

Definitely something I didn’t want to know, but was glad I now did.

I woke up way too early the next day.  I was excited, but also worried that I might get “too excited.” I guessed popping a woody BEHIND the camera would leave a bad first impression, so I decided to handle things before I left the house. Using Diamond as my inspiration, I took care of business, got dressed and headed out.

Vince was already there, along with a couple of guys who were moving furniture onto the set. They introduced themselves as Lance Pierce and Rod Hammer, and I almost choked trying not to laugh.

The set was supposed to look like a living room, with a couch and a couple of easy chairs, coffee table and end tables and lamps. Some cheap swap meet paintings were hung on the wall flats to make it a bit more authentic.

By 9:45, everything was in place and I’d managed to get the lighting to look decent.

Right at 10 a.m., Diamond arrived, wearing a sheer robe with black stockings and garter belt underneath. Her makeup was painted on thick and she looked extremely slutty.

Soon after, the other dressing room opened and out stepped a pretty little platinum blonde. Other than a pair of red stiletto heels, she was completely naked. She had a cigarette dangling from her lips and the perkiest set of tits I’d ever seen.

Wait! I knew this woman! The girl from the cover of “Pretty Girl #6”! It was Danielle! I’d seen her in several girl-girl layouts with Tara! I silently thanked myself for jacking off this morning. Otherwise, I’d probably be sporting a massive bulge in my lower regions.

Danielle walked up to Vince and gave his crotch a playful squeeze. “Hi, Vinnie!” she called out in a sing-song voice. “Got a light?”

Vince lit her cigarette. “So, who am I fucking today?” Danielle asked as if was the most normal question in the world.

We’re gonna start with just you and Diamond,” Vince told her. “But then Lance is gonna join in.”

WHAT?! Lance?! I thought he was a stagehand! I was beginning to understand what Diamond meant about things getting weird fast.

Vince introduced me to Danielle.

“This is Stu’s first day,” he told her. “Go down on him… wait! I mean, go easy on him!”

He laughed uproariously at his own joke. I was completely intimidated by Danielle, and reverted to my old, awkward self.

Danielle looked me over. “Go down on him, go easy on him. Make up your mind. I’m good either way.”

After a bit more small talk, it was time to get started. I was manning camera 1 while Rod ran camera 2. I started up the video recorders and Vince shouted “Action!!”

The scene started with Diamond on the couch, having an intimate encounter with a large double ended dildo. We shot her for about 15 minutes, getting every angle… wide, close-up, extreme close-up. Vince kept calling out directions, “Slower!  Good! Now rub your clit while you fuck the dildo!”

Vince ran her through all the positions. “Now pull it out and suck it! Good! Put it back in!”

I no longer had to worry about getting too excited.  This was mind-numbingly dull.

After 30 minutes of boring and uninspired dildo fucking, Vince finally yelled, “CUT!!”

I went over to the video recorders and loaded fresh tapes.

In the next setup, Danielle joined Diamond on the couch. They ad-libbed some horrible dialog about their husbands being so inadequate and then got down to fucking. For the next hour, the double dildo got used and abused. Into Diamond, out of Diamond. Into Danielle, out of Danielle.  Into Diamond and Danielle on each end. Diamond stuck it into Danielle’s ass while licking her pussy. Danielle did likewise. All the while, accompanied by horribly fake moaning, heavy breathing and screaming.

Finally, mercifully, Vince yelled, “CUT!!”

“That was fucking beautiful, ladies,” he gushed. “I’m surprised Stu was able to keep from creaming his jeans!”

Vince called for a lunch break and I bolted for the door.

In the parking lot, I found myself questioning my career choice. “What the fuck!” I asked myself. “What are you even here for?” Then I answered myself. “You’re here for $800 a week.”

After lunch, Lance was up to bat. His job was to “come home early” and find his wife Diamond in the throes of passion with Danielle.

There was more stilted, ad-libbed dialog about how he can’t satisfy her, followed by Lance declaring he’ll satisfy them both.

We spent the next 2 hours filming every possible angle of the 3 of them going through the motions of fucking. Lance was only able to stay hard for less than half the time, so we had to shoot creative angles to cover up his “soft side.” When Vince was finally satisfied that we had enough, he told me to put in fresh tapes. It was time for “the money shot.”

As I was doing that, Diamond slipped up to me and whispered again, “This could take a while.”

Lance was instructed to spill his load on Danielle’s impossibly perky tits. Danielle laid on the couch and did her best to look filled with wanton lust. Lance stood over her and began masturbating. It took him 4 or 5 minutes just to get it up. He then proceeded to wank. And wank. And wank some more. After nearly 30 minutes, he announced he was close. Danielle doubled down on her fake passion and at long last, Lance dumped a load of cum onto her still perky tits.

I was sort of surprised at the wildly average amount of jizz he actually produced. You’d think a porn star would pump out porn star sized loads, but I’d dumped more than that in a wad of tissue paper just this morning.

I was about to witness something unbelievable that would change my entire perspective and ruin a thousand fantasies for me.

The instant Lance had spilled his last drop Vince ran in holding a squeeze bottle like the kind you’d find full of catsup at a hotdog stand.

He gave it 3 quick pumps and a white, jizzy looking substance squirted onto Danielle’s boobs. And just like that, Lance was a stud!

We spent the next 5 minutes getting close-ups of Lance rubbing his dick through the cum and spreading it all over Danielle’s perky tits and nipples. Danielle played with the cum, letting it drip from her fingers and tasting it with her tongue.

When it got to the point that Lance had gone completely soft, Vince called, “CUT! THAT’S A WRAP!!”

Danielle jumped up and immediately ran to her purse to grab a cigarette. She then ran right up to me, with Lance’s cum still all over her still perky tits and asked, “Got a light?”

I could barely get any words out. “Sorry, I don’t smoke,” was all I managed.

By now, it was close to 6:00 and Vince called a wrap for the day.

“Great work everyone! We’ll see you all back here day after tomorrow!”

I spent next day editing the scene that we’d shot. If you enjoy porn movies, thank an editor. Turning 5 hours worth of footage into a 15-minute scene was no easy task. Not because there was so much. Because there was so little of it that was interesting. But I managed to cut that scene and 2 other scenes they had shot previously in my 8-hour shift. When I showed it to Vince, he was ecstatic.

“Wow! You really brought it to life! Fantastic job! It was taking us a week to do what you did in a day!”

Despite the praise, I still felt pretty slimy about myself. If this was what the porn industry was really like, I wanted no part of it. But… $800 a week was too much money to walk away from. “I’ll just be another working stiff who hates his job,” I rationalized. “No different from some accountant or insurance salesman.”

I could not possibly not have known what the next day was about to bring.

My third day as a pornographer was to be spent behind the camera again. I was not looking forward to it. A good, hot hard-core scene still turned me on, but after the last 2 days of living behind the scenes, the magic was quickly waning. I hoped today would change that.

Lance and Rod had reconfigured the stage as a bedroom while I was in the edit room yesterday. All I had to do was adjust the lighting and we’d be ready to start.

Today, Rod was going to be the shooting star, while Lance manned camera 2. The scene was pretty unimaginative, almost a repeat of the last one. Rod comes home to find his wife, Danielle, sharing a bi-sexual moment with another women, and proceeds to join the fun.

Vince called for the girls. Danielle came bouncing out of the dressing room wearing sheer black hose and garters along with a pair of black stiletto high heels. Of course, no bra was needed for those perky little tits.

She flung herself onto the bed and started oiling herself up.

When the next girl came out of the dressing room, my heart stopped.  It was her.

Tara was wearing a sheer negligee that made me think of the infamous “happy ending” photo Larry had shown me way back when.

She had her signature sexy red lipstick and dark eyeshadow, but now her hair was styled in a feather cut and upswept off her shoulders. She looked absolutely ravishing, but her eyes were distant, almost as if she was trying to remove herself from reality.

Danielle called her. “Hey Tara, get over here! You have to meet Stuart! He made me look so good in that last scene!”

I was still reeling from shock, and that shock was quickly turning to panic. I just stood there, unable to say a word.

Tara walked over and said hello. If she recognized me, she didn’t show it. I know our night together had meant a lot more to me than it did to her, but I was crushed that she didn’t even seem to know me.

Vince called for places, I rolled tape, and we spent the next hour shooting Danielle and Tara at play. Danielle was enthusiastic, licking and sucking Tara’s breasts and pussy.  Tara went down on Danielle, but you could clearly tell she wasn’t into it. Vince kept calling out directions, “C’mon, rub her clit! Grab those titties! Show me how horny you are!”

Vince was getting more and more irritated. Finally, he called “CUT!” and told us to take a 15-minute break. I stepped out to the parking lot to get some air. I felt terrible for Tara. She obviously didn’t want to be there and it showed in her lackluster performance.  I asked myself if I was to blame. When I told her on that night, “if you like it in real life, why not make a little money for it,” had I pushed her into this?

When I returned to the studio, I caught the tail end of a heated conversation between Tara and Vince. It was actually less of a conversation and more of a chewing out.

“Get your fucking head on straight and start doing what I’m paying you to do!”

Vince was right up in her face and looked pretty furious.  It took all my self control not to step in and kick his ass. But then he walked away and told everyone it was time to get started again.

As the scene continued, Rod walked in on Danielle and Tara and soon was out of his clothes and joining the party. It seemed like Tara had pulled herself together enough to satisfy Vince. She joined Danielle in giving Rod a super hot double blowjob. They had to keep taking breaks so Rod wouldn’t pop his cookies before we got all the footage we needed. The final position of the scene called for Danielle and Tara to get in a 69 position, with Tara on top. While Tara licked Danielle’s clit, Rod entered her from behind and fucked her, alternating between Tara’s pussy and Danielle’s mouth. Unlike the deathly dull stuff I’d seen over the last 2 days, I actually found myself getting aroused here. This scenario had always been one of my wildest dreams, and now standing in the same room watching as Tara played it out with Rod had me struggling to keep my own cock under control.

Finally, Vince announced it was time for the money shot.  As it had been with Lance, Rod began masturbating as the girls held their positions. Rod didn’t take nearly as long as Lance to get ready. After just a few minutes, he quickly stuck his dick back into Tara, then pulled out and dumped his cum onto her pussy and dripping down into Danielle’s waiting mouth. Rod produced a lot more volume than Lance had, and this time Vince didn’t need to enhance the scene with his squirt bottle.

“CUT!!” yelled Vince. “Great scene, everybody! Great scene! Much better than this morning!”

Vince called for lunch and everyone scattered to their respective dressing rooms. I stopped into the edit bay to spot check that the tapes successfully recorded everything.

As I was focused on the monitors, I heard the door open and close behind me. I turned around and saw Tara.

“I guess you’re not working at the wine shop anymore.” She said softly.

“Not anymore,” I said. “I didn’t think you remembered me.”

“Well, I was pretty surprised to see you.”

I laughed softly. “You and me both.”

It felt like I was back in my freshman year. Completely awkward and intimated. I had a hard time thinking what to say. Finally, I blurted out, “Tara, you seem miserable. I’m so sorry I pushed you into this!”

She looked at me, uncomprehending. “No one pushed me into this. I made the choice on my own. I just saw all that money.” Her voice trailed off. “It didn’t work out the way I imagined.”

Tara and I talked for awhile. She told me she was living in a much nicer apartment that she now shared with Danielle.  They had become best friends and worked together often. She told me she had danced at some strip clubs with Danielle, but neither of them did that anymore because the men were creepy and constantly propositioning them.

Just then, we heard Vince calling, “TARA! Where the fuck are you!?”

I stayed in the edit bay and finished my lunch. I had a lot to think about.

When I walked back into the studio, it was major drama. Vince and Tara were nose to nose.

Vince screamed, “YOU’RE GETTING PAID TO FUCK, SO FUCKING FUCK!!”

Tara screamed right back, “I TOLD YOU, VINCE! I DON’T FUCKING DO ANAL!!”

“YOU’LL DO WHAT I FUCKING TELL YOU TO DO!!” Vince raised his hand to strike her, but Danielle stepped in. This probably saved me from an assault and battery arrest.

“C’mon, Vince, take it easy,” Danielle pleaded. “Why don’t you just have him titty fuck her? That would be just as hot! She’s got great tits!”

Vince leaned past Danielle and yelled at Tara again, “You’re gonna take it up the ass, or you’re DONE HERE!!”

Tara stormed away, headed for the dressing room. “FINE!!” she screamed. “I’M DONE!!! IF YOU WANT ROD’S PRICK UP SOMEBODY’S ASS SO BAD, WHY DON’T YOU STICK IT UP YOURS!!”

Vince started heading after her, but this time Danielle, Rod and Lance all stepped in.

Lance grabbed Vince by the shoulders. “Fuck, dude! If you get arrested for assault, we’re all out of work!”

Vince kind of growled, but then pulled himself together.  “AAARRRGH!! FUCK IT!! Alright, that’s it for today! Everybody go home. I’ll figure this out over the weekend and we’ll go again on Monday.”

Everyone scattered like cockroaches when the kitchen lights come on. I powered down all of the equipment, gathered my stuff and got the hell out of Dodge.

When I got to the parking lot, I saw Tara sitting in the passenger seat of a car, crying.  I hesitated, then approached and asked if she was okay.

“I’ll survive,” she said sadly. “I always do.”

She told me she was stuck there because she and Danielle had driven together. She had to wait for Danielle.

I told her, “Vince called the rest of the day off. I can give you a ride home if you want.”

I was shocked when she said yes.

It was about a half hour drive to Tara’s apartment. She talked a lot on the way. About how much she wanted a normal life. How much she missed enjoying sex.

“Everyone wants to fuck me, but they really just want to use me. Once they get their precious ‘money shot ‘, they couldn’t care less. I feel like I'm just a giant cum receptacle.”

I stayed silent. Tara was pouring it all out and crying hard. I didn’t know what to do.

We got to Tara’s apartment. It was in a much nicer part of town, not far from Universal Studios. She asked me to come in with her.  This apartment was a huge improvement from her last place. Bigger, cleaner, real furniture and no mattress on the floor.

We sat at her dining table and drank her beer. She asked me what I’d been up to the last 3 years. I told her about my girlfriend and how she’d moved away, leaving me free. I told her that I’d finished school and this was the only job I could get.

“Sounds familiar,” she said with sadness in her voice. “There are some really nice people in this business, but the people running it are nothing but a bunch of fucked up assholes. And the ones at this company are the worst of all.  Vince is pure slime, Diamond is a back-stabbing bitch, and Lance and Rod can’t think past the end of their dicks.”

She was really starting to despair again. “I can’t remember the last time a guy fucked me to an orgasm,” she said.

We both sat in silence for a minute. It felt like a cosmic twist of fate. I took Tara’s hand and said to her the exact words she’d said to me 3 years earlier. “Well, it’s time we changed that. “

For the first time since we’d reconnected, I saw a hint of a smile form on her lips.

“So, you’re giving me a pity fuck?” She actually laughed a little.

“I don’t know,” I said. “But if you want to call it a pity fuck, I promise it’ll be the best pity fuck ever. Remember what I said back then… never say never.”

Tara led me back to her bedroom. “Look, a real bedframe,” she joked.

We lay on the bed. The first thing Tara did was hug me. She grabbed on and squeezed me like she’d never let go. I could feel all of her pent-up tension and I just hugged her back for as long as she wanted.  Still in her grip, I reached up and massaged her neck and shoulders.  She moaned a little, not so much with desire, but with relief.

I laid her on her belly and pulled off her clothes. Then I straddled her and began massaging her back, all the way from her buttocks up to her neck. My long, sweeping movements seemed to relax her even more and I could almost feel the tension draining out of her body.

I continued down her behind and massaged her legs and her feet. I flipped her over and worked my way back up to her breasts and shoulders, carefully avoiding her erogenous zones. That could wait.

Tara let out a deep sigh and said, “Let’s take a shower.”

The warm water cascading over us was very sensual. The shower stall was small, just big enough to fit both of us, but not big enough for much separation between us.  I started soaping her up, running my hands over her body, paying special attention to her ass and those beautiful breasts.

Tara reached down and started stroking my cock, but I stopped her. “No,” I said. “You first.”

I managed to shimmy my way down to my knees and buried my face between her legs. Reaching around from the back, I parted her pussy lips and stuck my middle finger inside her vagina. I started gently licking her clitoris, working my tongue around the tip and flicking it lightly.

“Ohhhh, fuuuuck!” Tara moaned loudly and grabbed my head with both hands, pushing me deeper into her loins. The combination of my tongue and the hot water was driving her close to the edge, and I could tell she really wanted the release.

I inserted another finger into her vagina and started pounding her, in and out. She kept moaning and her whole body started to shake. “YES! YES! YES! OH GOD, DON’T STOP!!” Tara screamed as the first wave of her orgasm hit. She just kept bucking her pussy into my face, trying to force my tongue harder onto her clit.

“FUUUUUCK!” The second wave hit her, followed by the third and fourth. She collapsed down the shower wall until we were squat sitting face to face, legs intertwined, the water still washing over us.

Tara looked like she was ready to cry. “Thank you, Stuart,” she whispered. “You have no idea how much I needed that.”

We got out of the shower and gently toweled each other dry.

Moving back to the bed, we lay side by side. Tara reached down and started stroking my cock. It didn’t take long before I was ready to rock and roll. I moved onto my side and started sucking on her breasts, gently licking and biting at her nipples until they were as hard as I was.

Tara softly moaned, “Could you please fuck me now?”

I sat up and grabbed a couple of pillows, sliding them under her butt to raise it up from the mattress. Then I knelt between her legs and slid my fingers inside of her, to make sure she was ready. She wasn’t just ready; she was sopping wet.

Still on my knees, I placed my cock head just inside her vagina, using her juices to get myself wet. Then I took it out and moved it up to her clitoris, where I rubbed it all over. I slid my shaft up and down on her clit, slowly grinding on it from my head to my scrotum.

As great as this felt for me, apparently it was even better for Tara. She sucked in her breath and almost whimpered with the sensation. I kept this up for several minutes until she finally said, “Please put it in me!”

I was all too happy to oblige. Using my fingers to part her lips, I slid into her. I pumped slowly, sliding in more and more of my shaft with each thrust.

Right then, it occurred to me that I hadn’t gotten laid in quite a while. Since my girlfriend had moved, I’d only had a couple of quick romps. “I wonder how many cocks Tara has taken in that time?” flashed through my mind.

It didn’t matter. This was MY time, and it was HER time. No cameras, no one shouting directions, no fake passion. Tara’s moans were the real thing.

I kept pumping her, gradually picking up speed. She was thrusting her hips to meet me and we were both sweating and breathing hard.

“Fuck me doggy style!” she pleaded. She flipped around and flung away the pillows. Getting on her knees, she presented her ass to me, then reached around and guided my cock inside her wet pussy.

I dispensed with the subtlety and started slamming her cunt as hard and as fast as I could. Wrapping my arms around her stomach, I pushed even harder. I was literally lifting her off the bed with each stroke and we were both grunting in unison.

She reached up underneath and started massaging my balls, and I started massaging her clit with my fingers. We both felt it at the same time. A cry emerged from her throat as she orgasmed. I wasn’t far behind, and was soon pumping her full of my hot semen. Shot after shot went into her vagina, filling her up.

We both held on, letting the incredible sensations sweep over us. Finally, she collapsed onto her belly and I collapsed on top of her. We lay that way for several minutes, breathing heavily.

Tara smiled a coy smile. “I sure love it when a guy cleans me up,” she said, dreamily.

“Yeah, I remember,” I said.

As she flipped onto her back, I slid down the bed and started licking her again, gathering all of her juices and mine up as best I could. She grabbed my hair and moved my head around, guiding me to the spots where there was still some cum left.

When I was finished, we shared another cum kiss, wrapping our tongues around each other.

“I can’t remember the last time I did that,” she breathed.

“I remember my last time,” I told her. “It was with you.”

“You got better at it,” she said. “That was wonderful. “

We lay on the bed for about another 10 minutes, then Tara said, “Are you hungry? I haven’t eaten since breakfast, and I’m starving!”

I looked at the clock next to her bed and realized it was almost 6 p.m. “Yeah, me too!”

I took Tara to a little Italian restaurant at the north end of Caheunga Pass, next door to a famous jazz club. We shared lasagna and a bottle of Chianti.  

I didn’t want to push, but I was so curious about Tara’s life in porn.

“You must have some unbelievable stories to tell,” I prompted her.

At first, she didn’t offer much. But as the wine took effect, she started to open up.

“In the 3 years since I started the life, I’ve probably fucked 50 different guys, and a dozen or more girls. I’m still not into girls, but at least I can tolerate them now. In fact, I think I’d rather do girls than guys.”

I was hanging on every word. “Why’s that?” I asked.

“The girls are nicer. We’ve all put up with the same shit and most of us ‘get it’, so we treat each other nicely,” she said.  “The guys all think they’re the greatest lay any woman’s ever had. They use you and don’t give a shit about you. They all want to put it up your ass and I just don’t do that.  Then, once they’ve shot their wads, they just toss you aside. I’m sure as fuck not looking for love, but would it kill them to show a little respect!?”

I refilled Tara’s wine glass.

“Once, when I was dancing at a strip club, some fat fuck tried to grab me and propositioned me. I yelled at him to show some respect.” Tara was on a roll now, pouring it out. I think it was cathartic for her.

“You know what he said to me?! He said, ‘You suck dicks for a living. How much respect do you want?’”

I felt myself getting angry. “Don’t they have bouncers in those places?” I asked.

“They do. But they couldn’t get to the asshole fast enough, at least not before I kicked him in the nuts!” She had a good laugh.

“He definitely had it coming.” I told her.

“The sex is all completely fake. I don’t have a good time doing it and I NEVER get turned on. The only thing real is the money shot and all that is is some random guy jacking off and dumping his load on me.”

I was painfully reminded of the scene I’d filmed just a few hours earlier.

When the check came, Tara started reaching for her purse.

“Nope, this is on me.” I told her. “Don’t forget, you’re unemployed now.”

“Thank you,” she replied.  Then, after a slight pause, she gave me a devious smile. “There must be SOME way I can repay you.”

I returned the smile. “I’m sure we can think of something.”

I asked Tara if she wanted to stop somewhere for a drink, but she said she didn’t go to bars anymore.  “I used to go with Danielle a lot, but too many creeps started recognizing us. Well, mainly Danielle. She still goes, but not me. Let’s just go back to my apartment. I’ve got a bottle of Jägermeister in the freezer.”

Back at her place, we sipped on Jägermeister and talked some more. But before long, Tara asked me, “Do you think you could go one more round? I really need it bad.”

I knew she wasn’t talking about another round of Jägermeister. “I’m sure I could, with your help.”

We moved back into Tara’s bedroom and got naked. Tara told me to sit on the end of the bed, feet on the floor. She opened a drawer on the nightstand and took out a bottle of some kind of lubricant. Then she knelt between my legs and poured a generous helping of it onto my cock. Using both hands, she started stroking me in a continuous upward motion. As one hand reached the tip of my cock head, the other would start at the base of my shaft and work its way up. She kept repeating the motion until I was fully erect.

Leaning in close, Tara blew her hot breath onto my scrotum and put her finger behind it, flicking and putting pressure on my perineum, rubbing back and forth between my anus and my balls. I’d never felt anything like this before.

“Ooohhhh, whatever you’re doing there, keep doing it,” I groaned.

Tara continued with her fingers and slid her lips up to the head of my cock. Swirling her tongue over it, then very lightly biting on the tip. She poked her tongue into my meatus, driving me wild with her alternating flicking and sucking.

I couldn’t wait any longer, so I took hold of her head with both hands and guided my cock into her mouth.  She kept up the massage and swallowed my shaft until it was all it was all the way down her throat.  Then she started bobbing her head up and down. Saliva was dripping out of her mouth, coating her tits, belly and thighs. I knew I needed to stop her before I climaxed in her mouth. As much as I wanted to, that’s not what I’d promised.

I pulled her up to me and kissed her, then clasped my hands under her ass cheeks and lay back, pulling her on top of me on the bed. Tara mounted me, sliding my cock between her lips and into her vagina. We both rocked back and forth, enjoying the comfortable sensation of me inside of her. As we eventually picked up speed, Tara once again started moaning loudly. I closed my eyes and let her do the work, and she was really going to town!

Just as Tara reached full speed, I heard what sounded like a door opening. A few seconds later, Tara suddenly stopped.

“SHIT!!” she yelled. I looked up. There, standing in the doorway with a surprised look on her face, was Danielle.

“Oh, sorry,” she said. “I didn’t know you had a visitor!”

When she leaned past Tara and saw who the visitor was, her jaw dropped.

“Holy fuck!!,” she said. “Stu!? You’re fucking Stuart?! The camera guy!?” Danielle almost doubled over with laughter.

I meekly told her, “Tara and I are kind of old friends.”

Danielle was obviously still amused. “It’s okay. I just… I never… I didn’t expect… THIS!!”

Tara spoke quietly. “After that shit-show this afternoon, Stuart saw me crying and offered me a ride home. He has been a perfect gentleman. Unlike every other asshole man I’ve ever known.”

Danielle tried to suppress her amusement. “No, it’s fine. That’s really sweet.” She paused for a minute as her expression changed from amused to… something else.

“So…. can I get some of that?”

HOLY SHIT!! It was like the scene we’d shot just this morning was playing out for real!! HOLY FUCK!! Was my wildest porn dream about to actually come true!? WITH ACTUAL PORN STARS!!!??

Tara screamed. “FUCK YOU, DANIELLE!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!

I guess not.

“Sorry,” Danielle whispered, and closed the door behind her.

It took Tara a few minutes to calm down, which was okay since I’d kind of lost my erection in the commotion.

“I love Danielle, but sometimes all she thinks about is dick,” Tara said. “Not sometimes, ALL the time. She really loves being a porn star. She is such an attention whore. I wish I had her enthusiasm.”

As excited as I’d gotten for that fleeting second, I realized what a mistake it would have been right then. Tara was in a very bad spot emotionally, and I could have destroyed her if I’d invited Danielle to join us. “Oh well, maybe some day,” I told myself.

For the next hour, we just laid next to one another, each lost in our own thoughts. Then Tara rolled over and kissed me. “Thank you for being a perfect gentleman,” she said.

She started stroking my cock again, and said, “How about we pick up where we left off?”

We spent the next few hours making love. Not just fucking; we were making love. Tara was enjoying sex for the first time in nearly 3 years. It was heavenly.

I ended up staying the night in Tara’s bed. The next morning, we made love one more time. It was Saturday, and I had promised to help a friend with moving, so I had to leave. Tara asked me to call her and I promised I would.

On Monday, I went back to the studio and quit. Vince was surprisingly understanding.

“It’s okay,” he said. “Not everybody is cut out for this business.”

Serendipity struck. Two days later, I got a call from the operations manager at one of the network television stations in town. He had read my resume and offered me a job as an apprentice editor. It was the start of a long career in the industry I’d always wanted to work in.

That night I called Tara, but Danielle answered the phone. “Hi Stu. Listen, Tara’s in a really bad place right now.” It was the first time I’d heard Danielle speak softly. “She’s changed her mind. Please don’t call again.”

I remembered then what Seger had said about autumn.

I never saw Tara again.

I had had a very brief taste of what Tara called “the life” and I’d escaped it.

Danielle was in the life because she loved it.

Tara was in the life because she was trapped.

I still think of her every now and then.  And I hope in my heart that she eventually found her true happy ending.