The club was packed. The air was thick with perfume and sweat and cologne. There were almost no couples there who had come together.  People were trying to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right, right now and right away.  The music pounded, making conversation difficult on the floor, impossible near the speakers, and just a shade above possible at the tables.

Julie was toying with her drink while condensation formed on the glass.  She was oblivious to the other women around her and to their lively conversations, even though they were part of her normal girls' night out posse.  She glanced again at her watch and then around the room.

"Oh, hell no," Penny said looking at her friend.  "Please tell me you didn't invite someone to our girl's night out."  Julie glanced at her with a guilty look appearing on her face. 

"No. I am not going to be your alibi.  Why the fuck are you stepping out on Roger anyway?  That man loves you.  He cherishes you.  If I wasn't married, I'd be all over him.”  She was spared a response with the arrival of a young man making a beeline to their table.  It was obvious that his arrival was not only expected but had been planned.

"Julie," Rosie hissed, "this is a GIRL'S night out. He doesn't seem very feminine to me.  Our husbands already dislike our going out like this.  If they were to know that you brought..."

"Brad," Julie offered, looking at her companion with adoration.  "I just needed..."

"Julie," was heard again. But this voice was much deeper than Penny's or Rosie's.  As one, every head at the table swiveled and saw Roger standing close by.  "I suspected..." was all he got out before his face crumpled and tears formed in his eyes.  "How could you..."

"Don't," Julie snarled, surprising her friends.  "We will talk about this later. You will not embarrass me in front of my friends and Brad."

"Do NOT pull us into this," Julie said. "We are happily married and plan on staying that way.  Don't try to protect your behavior behind us.  Roger, this is as much as a surprise to us as it is to you."

"Why Julie," Roger implored.  "Why would you throw away five years of marriage?"

Julie looked around and noticed that the music had paused. Since they were all speaking louder to be heard above the music, everyone in the club had heard the last few sentences.

"Fine, you want to do this in public?  Let's do this in public."  Julie then got up and walked over to the DJ booth. The door had been left unlocked and she bounded up the five stairs leading to the control panel where the DJ would make the rare announcement while queuing up the music.  Standing in the booth allowed him to look out over the entire floor. Now Julie had the same view.

"Turn up the lights, please," she said to the DJ.  Realizing that this might turn out badly he just turned to her, uncertainty etched on his face.  "TURN UP THE GODDAMN LIGHTS," she bellowed.  He quickly complied and everyone was suddenly bathed in the harsh glare of reality.

She gestured to the mike and he turned it on for her, his hands shaking.  She saw the bouncers slowly working their way to the booth, intent on ending this before it got out of hand.

"You want to know why, Roger?  Fine.  Because Brad is a much superior lover than you have ever been."  Her voice was echoing out of the speakers.  Roger's face turned to the floor, burning bright red with embarrassment.  "Seriously.  His three-and-a-half inches is all I need.  Why does someone, ANYONE, need nine inches?" The bouncers stopped approaching the booth to turn to Jim with admiration on their faces.

"And you're as thick as my wrist.  Do you ever see me trying to fist myself?  Why would I want something that big inside of me?"  She held up her forearm as a visual aid with the fingers of her right hand circling her left wrist.

"And eating me out.  Why?  You're not actually eating anything.  You get no nourishment from it.  Is it that you're trying to return to the womb?  Trying to talk to your inner newborn?  If I gave you the chance, you would spend hours with your face between my legs."

By this time, some of the women on the dance floor had started sliding up to Roger. "Um, excuse me," a petite, attractive Asian woman, Elizabeth, said, directing her voice toward the DJ booth.  "Does he actually enjoy doing that?"  The woman's eyes darted between the booth and Roger, taking in his broad shoulders and muscular frame.

"Yes, he loves doing that!"  Julie was sure she had found a kindred spirit, someone who understood her.  "He would eat me morning, noon, and night.  Who has that kind of time?  Especially when he fucks for hours and recovers right after he cums and then fucks again and again and again."

A rather petite blond said, "So he forces himself on you?"  She had taken three or four steps towards Roger while directing her question to the booth.

"No, I'll give him that.  He has never forced himself. But do you have any idea what a nightmare it is to have a husband who loves to make his wife cum repeatedly, who always has a huge hard dick and who just loves to suck your pussy?  Thank goodness for Brad," she beamed.  Brad's face lit up at her devotion. "He only wants it like once a week.  And he knows what to do -- get on, get in, get off, and get out.  Like five minutes a week total spent on sex.  With him, I can get a good night's sleep.  I can pursue hobbies. Bed is for watching TV or breakfast on Saturdays or dogs warming your feet.  It is not for long drawn-out sex."

A tall brunette then looked quizzically toward Julie and asked, “Does he embarrass you?”

Julie got an angry smirk on her face and replied, “Damn right he embarrasses me.   Last week at my boss’s party, they did one of those games where people try to guess the jobs of the spouses.  He actually wrote that he did physics and physical training.”

“But that is true,” Roger interrupted.

“Who wants some nerd that is a nuclear engineer and plays soldier in some group they call special operations?  What can be so special about a nerd who works out all the time?  Brad is an accountant.  Now that is a real man with a steady job.

"The embarrassment at my job is horrible.  He has sent at least one present to my office every single week.  Do you know how embarrassing it is to get flowers, candy, a giant card, or a wrapped package delivered every week?  Just a couple of weeks ago, he showed up with a picnic basket at lunch.  I was headed to lunch with my boss who was taking me to an expensive restaurant.  When he told Roger that we had plans, Roger got all macho, stared at my boss in the eyes, and said, “No thank you.  This is date time for me and my girl only.”  

“Can you believe that I had to sit on a quilt and eat a sandwich, eclair, and fruit while listening to music?  My boss had been asking me to go to lunch for weeks and had bought a new outfit for me just for the occasion.  That really pissed me off.”

“He must be so callous,” another lady sarcastically shouted.

“I only wish,’ Julie replied.  “Every day he talks and talks and talks.  He asks me about my day and tells me about his.  I can’t even get him pissed off at me. Brad tells me how to improve myself but Roger only smiles and grins when I have a mishap.  It’s probably all that mushy stuff he does like teaching preschoolers at church or caring for animals at the shelter.  He even cried when our puppy died.  Who needs a wimpy guy like that?”

A long-legged blond far back in the crowd shouted, “Does he provide for you and any kids if you have any?”

Thank goodness we don’t have any kids but, yes, he provides. He provides too much.  Who needs a big house with so many rooms?  It is too much to keep clean, even with a housekeeper.”

Elizabeth had by this time put her hand on Roger's back, ostensibly to comfort him but honestly to mark her territory. She glanced at one of the other women, half a foot taller than her, just oozing sex as she moved closer to Roger.  "Excuse me, I was here first?"

She then glanced toward Julie and said,  “So let me get this straight.  He has a career that is too nerdy, makes too much money and provides too much for you, is well built, fights in special operations, is too romantic, too caring, has too big of a dick, and has sex with you too often, eats your pussy too frequently and loves watching you have too many orgasms. Is that right?”

Julie interrupted, "Yes he is extremely high maintenance. No one has time for all of that.  Do you think you can handle him?  Your life would be a living hell.  Roger's a nice guy, but who wants a nice guy and that much attention? He is too much of a hassle?  You or any other girl here, dumb enough, can have him."  She left the DJ booth and headed to her true soul mate, Brad.

Elizabeth looked at Roger and said very loudly, “I would love to try.”

EPILOGUE

Roger and Elizabeth moved in together.  The first night lasted for four days.  Roger has never been happier.  Elizabeth had a smile on her face every day for the rest of her life. They had three boys and three girls.

Penny and Rosie never went to another Girl's Night Out.  The GNOs became nights in with their husbands. They became close friends with Roger and Elizabeth.  Their marriages were never better.

The club closed soon afterward and the birthrate at the local hospital skyrocketed with most being children of happily married couples.