A special surprise for Neil. It had seemed such a good idea at the time. It was Jason who had the idea initially, suggesting it would be really romantic if we made my trip back to Neil a surprise. And I agreed, it was wonderfully romantic and I knew Neil would love it. I’d arrive unannounced in the early hours of Easter Saturday and give Neil a special Easter weekend surprise. I’d sneak into our home, wake him with a loving kiss and we’d spend the weekend making love and re-connecting.

I was so excited to see Neil again. I’d been missing him so much. Coming through immigration, I’d had an argument with an official, but I didn’t let this spoil my mood. Jason had arranged for two of his employees, Lewis and Tyrell to meet me and drive me home. Both boys gave me a big hug to welcome me back to New York. Tyrell even took the chance to squeeze my butt as he hugged me, and I gently slapped his face as a playful rebuke. He just grinned at me and winked.

Back in January, I’d been intimate with both young men, and all three of us smiled at the memory of that night together when Hannah had helped me explore my fantasy of sleeping with several men at once. I guess, all things considered, a little squeeze of the ass from Tyrell wasn’t something to worry about.

It was around twelve-thirty at night and we made good time as we drove across town, the boys asked me how it was going with the school. The whole thing was such a ‘good news’ story, all of the guys in Jason’s auto shops were fully up to speed on developments, and several of them had even made small donations to buy books and other equipment.

As we pulled up in our drive, my excitement turned to an icy chill of fear. Parked right behind Neil’s sedan was a BMW soft top. Hannah was sleeping over. That was the moment I knew our plan for a surprise visit was dumb. Why hadn’t I thought about this? I should have let Neil know I was coming so he could cancel any plans he had with Hannah. As it was, it was now too late as she was already sleeping in our home.

I sat there in the back of the car, not knowing what to do. For a moment I toyed with heading to a hotel and coming back in the morning. But then I thought this is my home, why on earth should I sneak away in the middle of the night. So instead I summoned up my courage, thanked the boys for the ride and went in.

As I opened the door I heard the melodic sounds of Kenny G coming from upstairs. A little tacky maybe, but this has always been Neil’s favorite ‘love making music’. I felt a surge of pain in my chest as I realized what had been ours alone was now shared with Hannah. I could also hear the sound of a bed being moved by a couple making love, and the accompanying feminine moans from Hannah. I slumped at the bottom of the stairs and closed my eyes, hoping this was a bad dream and it would all go away.

Part of me thought this is crazy. I shouldn’t be reacting like this. Neil and Hannah have been lovers for months now, with my knowledge and acceptance. But this felt very different. I’d flown four hours and fifteen hundred miles to be with the man I was missing terribly. Only he didn’t seem to be missing me half as much as I missed him. He was upstairs making love to another woman. I’m a smart woman, and even as I thought this, I knew how hypocritical it was. But that was the reality of my feelings.

I fought hard to stop myself bursting out in a flood of tears, but a few tears escaped. As I sat there crying softly, I felt some part of me being drawn to watch. It was a real battle within, part of me wanting to flee the scene and blot it all out from my mind. But another part drew me up the stairs, and before I knew it I was standing outside our master bedroom looking at the lovers.

The lights were low and romantic, and the door only slightly ajar, but that didn’t make the scene any less painful. My beloved husband was lying submissively on the bed while Hannah sat atop him, slowly rode him for their mutual pleasure. I was looking from behind them, but I could see Hannah’s face and front in the mirror.

To this day I can see the image as if burned into my mind with acid. Hannah’s hands were splayed out on Neil’s chest, her fingers entwined in his greying chest hair, as she gazed lovingly into my husband’s face. Even now I can remember how proud and erect her nipples looked, telling me how special and exciting this was for her.

My stomach was hollow and my legs felt like they were going to give way as I stood unable to tear myself away. Watching was pure torture, but something within me stopped me from leaving. My gaze was drawn back to Hannah’s face. It was the face of a woman in love, unable to tear her eyes away from the man who was deep within her body. She wasn’t just giving Neil her body, she was giving him her heart. As she continued to gaze at Neil, she reached down to touch his face, both of them smiling at this small simple gesture.

As Hannah gently stroked his face, I could see the love in Neil’s face. When I’d left for Kingston, he’d told me that he had feelings for Hannah, but that he didn’t love her. I’d seen them together before, but this time there was something different in Neil’s expression. It was the same look I’d seen in Hannah’s face.

Although she was sat in the classic cowgirl position, Hannah wasn’t even moving up and down. They were just content to gaze at each other, Hannah savoring how Neil completed her body, and Neil enjoying his manhood being surrounded by this new woman in his life.

This silent and still picture of closeness was broken as Hannah slowly started working her hips up and down, to pleasure herself and her man, Neil’s low moans telling all three of us how he was loving being slowly ridden. Hannah bent down to gently give her lover a deep and loving kiss, raising his hands to her breasts as she straightened up.

As Hannah continued to slowly ride Neil, I studied her body. A new and exciting body for Neil. It was three months until my forty-fourth birthday, and I was proud of how my body was still sexy and desirable. But as I looked at Hannah’s chocolatey-brown body as she gave herself to Neil, I knew I’d met my match.

She was the same age as me, but her skin was a little more toned than mine and her figure was the classic hour-glass figure that Neil had always loved. I had a good figure with my regular gym work and natural 36C’s, but aided by the surgeon’s knife Hannah had the edge on me. The swell of her boobs just that little fuller, her hips just a little narrower and her ass a full and near-perfect pear shape.

Hannah’s hips were now working Neil faster, and he’d started to meet her downward movements with his own thrusts, his hands squeezing and milking her enhanced boobs, making her nipples stand out even more. The slapping sound of her shapely butt hitting Neil’s groin taunted me, as their speed built up and the sounds got louder, both of them now moaning loudly.

Hannah’s eyes were shut as she rode Neil, now slamming down with the full force of her weight each time, as Neil thrust as hard as he could. Her eyes suddenly opened and her smile was now hungry and serious. “Come on, baby. Give it me, give me all you’ve got. I want your cum, shoot it in me Neil, honey.”

The look of excitement and desire in Neil’s face frightened me as I wondered if I could drag him back from Hannah’s clutches. For a moment I couldn’t bear to watch and closed my eyes, and as I opened them again I saw their mouths crushed together as Neil held Hannah tightly, his cock spasming as he pumped his seed into Hannah’s receptive body.

Their kisses slowed and became tender as Neil loosened his grip on Hannah, his work now done, and they gingerly uncoupled their bodies. They lay next to each other and with their sexual needs now met, all that was left was the emotional connection. They gazed into each others’ eyes, hands reaching to touch faces and the occasional kiss given and received.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, my world started collapsing around me. The foundations crumbling bit by bit with each word they spoke.

“How do you think she’ll take it?” Hannah asked, her fingertips idly tracing Neil’s lips as she talked.

“She’ll be surprised. And she’ll be hurt at first. But then I think she’ll be okay.”

“Hopefully she’ll understand, given how she feels about Jason.”

“I don’t know, she always tells me she finds it hard, you and me. Hearing that we love each other’s going to be tough for her.”

I felt like a knife had just been plunged into my heart. I sat there, on the outside, listening to my husband telling a beautiful black woman, that he loved her. I was on the outside, as they discussed together how I’d react to their love. They were the couple, and I was the outsider looking in on their love.

Part of me wanted to run in there and hurt both of them. To claw and kick and punch until my fury was spent. To dig my nails into that bitches face until she wasn’t so pretty and my husband would no longer want her. But I didn’t. I just sat and sobbed quietly to myself.

My sobbing must have been louder than I thought because the next thing I was aware of was someone touching my face, brushing my tear-stained hair back from my eyes. I opened my eyes to see Neil kneeling by my collapsed body, a worried look on his face as our eyes locked together.

“Honey, how long have you been there?”

“Long enough. I heard.”

“I’m so sorry, darling. I didn’t want you to hear it like that. I was going to tell you properly when we next talked.”

A long silence, as Neil waited for me to say something.

“You should have told me, Neil. Like I told you about Jason. Not like that. Not hearing it like that, the two of you discussing my feelings together. I’m your wife, Neil. You and I should have discussed this first.”

“I’m sorry. It just kind of happened. I promise you I was going to tell you when we next spoke.”

Even as Neil apologized, deep within I knew how unfair I was being. I was telling him how badly he’d treated me, even as I kept the whole Jason baby conversation locked deep within. I didn’t care about being fair. I wanted to punish Neil, to hurt him. Try and make myself feel better, as I made him and Hannah feel worse. I wanted to tear down their happiness that I’d just witnessed. To stamp on it, tear it into a million pieces and flush it out of my life.

Neil could see the hurt and anger in my eyes, and he continued holding my stare until he detected the first softening. “Forgive me, Claire. I’m so sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please forgive me.”

In my anger, my sobbing had reduced to an occasional sniffle. I made him wait, to punish him a little more, but eventually, I told Neil what he wanted to hear.

“Okay. I’m still mad at you, but you’re forgiven,” I managed to get out between sniffles. “But don’t you ever do anything like that to me again.”

He held up his hands in mock surrender, and we shared a small smile, which felt good after the pain and intensity of what I’d just been through.

Neil helped me to my feet and led me into our bedroom, and started patiently undressing me for bed. As he fetched a nightie for me from the dressing room, I felt a hand on my cheek.

I turned to see Hannah, looking sheepishly at me. “Sorry, girlfriend. I’m really sorry. Let’s talk in the morning.” And then she lowered her voice, “And, Claire, I just want to let you know, your secret’s safe with me. I’d never dream of telling Neil about your baby conversation with Jason.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the morning I awoke to an empty bed, and my heart started racing in panic, until I saw Neil’s familiar penmanship on a bedside note, explaining he had to go into work but would be back around lunchtime. I relaxed and stretched out, realizing just how tired I was from the previous night’s drama.

I smelt the unmistakable aroma of frying bacon, immediately feeling hungry and realizing I’d not eaten properly since Friday lunchtime. My brain kicked in, if Neil was at work it could only mean that Hannah was downstairs cooking. My hackles rose, offended and angry that after everything last night, she had the effrontery to lay claim to my kitchen. Cooking in my home. And then I remembered the last thing she’d said the previous night before she’d left Neil and me alone. Maybe it was as well that she was still here so that we could still talk before Neil returned home.

I didn’t have the energy to shower, so I threw on a dressing gown and headed downstairs, without having any idea on how I’d start the conversation with Hannah. I cleared my throat as I entered the kitchen, causing Hannah to turn around, an embarrassed look on her face.

“Hi, Claire. Sorry again, about last night,” she grimaced. “I know I’d have hated hearing it like that when I was married to Jason.”

I didn’t know if her mention of Jason was gratuitous, or just a natural thing to say. I’d grown to like and trust Hannah these last few months. We’d spent lots of time together, both as a foursome and also just the two of us together. But in the back of my mind, I also remembered how I’d thought her a game player the first time we met at the petting zoo.

“Let’s not talk about it. Water under the bridge,” I said, sounding charitable, but really just clearing the way for what I urgently wanted to talk about.

“What you said last night, about my secret being safe with you. What did you mean?”

Hannah looked away as if choosing just the right words to use. Then she turned back and looked at me with a sympathetic expression.

“I was talking to Jason, about Joshua’s birthday, and he mentioned the conversation you had, and that he was frightened and hoped you weren’t going to mention it to Neil.”

The ball was now back in my court, and for a moment I was lost for what to say.

“It’s silly, really. I get why Jason doesn’t want me to mention it to Neil, because it’s never going to happen, and no good can come from telling Neil, but I have to tell him. This arrangement we have can only work if we’re all open with each other. I have to tell him.”

Hannah looked thoughtful for a moment. “Claire, there’s something else I need to talk you about.”

Hannah must have seen the panicked look in my eyes. After last night’s revelation about how Neil and she felt about each other, Hannah’s words gave me a terrible feeling in my gut.

“Claire, relax, it’s nothing about Neil and me. Or at least, not like that, anyway. And what I’m about to tell you, I haven’t even told Neil yet.”

She paused and waited for me to calm down a little, gesturing for us to sit together on the sofa.

“Claire, would you say that Neil and you are my friends? We’ve been through a lot together these last months, and become close.”

“Yes, we’re your friends,” I said, but wondering where this was headed.

“Even after last night? I know I’ve lost a few brownie points and burnt a few bridges, but are we still good friends?”

I grimaced and looked into her eyes. “Yes, Hannah. You’re right, yesterday was horrible. But we’ll get over it.”

She smiled and reached out to hold my hand.

“Okay then, I have something I want to tell you and get your thoughts on. And remember, I’ve not mentioned this to Neil yet, because I wanted to run it by you first, and see what you think.”

Now she had me both worried and inquisitive.

She took a deep breath. “I’ve not told you this before, but I’ve been thinking of going to a sperm bank so that I can have another child. A little half-brother or half-sister for Joshua. I see the look in his eyes sometimes when we talk about Jayden, and it breaks my heart. And I’m still young enough to have another baby.”

Hannah paused to let her words sink in or to let me ask any questions I might have, still looking directly at me as she held my hand. “What do you think, Claire, do you think it’s a good idea?”

I thought about it for a moment, thinking back to some of the things Delores and Jason had said to me, about a baby filling a hole in Jason’s life.

“I guess it might be a good idea. I know nothing’s going to bring Jayden back, but if it’s going to fill a hole in Joshua’s life and in your life, then why not.”

And then a thought occurred to me. Hannah had described having a half-brother or half-sister for Joshua. If she got Jason to act as the father, then her baby and Joshua would be full siblings. “Why not Jason? Isn’t that the obvious choice, instead of a sperm bank?”

Hannah looked pained, and tears started falling down her cheeks. It was some time before she could speak. I’d started this morning full of anger at Hannah, but now I felt pity as I wondered what could make her react like this, at the thought of Jason being the father to the child she planned.

Finally, she was able to speak. “What do you know about Sickle Cell?”

Although her tears had stopped, I saw the pain in her eyes and I knew where this conversation was headed. Every teacher in New York knows about the curse of Sickle Cell in the African American community. About how if both parents are unlucky enough to be carriers, each of their offspring has a one-quarter chance of having Sickle Cell.

Hannah saw the penny dropping in my mind. “Claire, this is our problem. Jason and me. I don’t want to burden you if you’d rather not know. It’s just if we’re friends, it’s a big part of us and you can’t really understand us without knowing.”

My heart went out to Hannah, both as my friend and as a fellow mother and woman. “Hannah, I want to know. I can’t imagine the burden and difficulties. If it helps you to share, then please tell me what you can,” I offered. “I’m guessing from everything you’ve told me, both you and Jason are carriers and little Jayden was unlucky enough to get both genes.”

She squeezed my hand again, looking into the distance and fighting back the tears. Over the next hour, she told me the full, traumatic tale. About how Jason and she had married thinking that only she was a carrier and that Jason didn’t carry the gene. And that it was only after Jayden was born that the truth came out, that Jason’s gene test had been faulty. She didn’t go into the details, which would have been too painful even after all these years, but she made it clear that Jayden’s death had been linked to the disease.

By mid-morning, we’d cried and cried, and the pain of last night was forgotten. With all the crying over and our coffee cups refreshed, Hannah came back to the subject of giving Joshua a little half-brother or half-sister.

“So, now you understand why I can’t have Jason as the father for Joshua’s little brother or sister. Both Jason and I know that. But when Jason was telling me about the conversation the two of you had this week, something came into my mind, and that’s what I want to talk to you about.”

This whole morning, not to mention last night, had been an emotional roller-coaster. But I suddenly felt a huge jolt of adrenaline kick-in, as my sub-conscious prepared me for what Hannah was about to tell me.

“Claire, after your discussion with Jason, if Neil agreed would you be prepared to act as a surrogate, and carry Jason’s child for us.”

Hannah looked at me with an intensity that was frightening, and I almost felt myself shaking. But she wasn’t done yet.

“I’d understand if that’s not something you and Neil would be okay with. I really would understand, it’s a big ask, even if we have all grown close as friends. So, if that’s not okay with you guys, I have one other idea. Instead of using a sperm bank, maybe Neil could get me pregnant, you know, instead of some random sperm donor I’ve never even met.”

Hannah and I just looked at each other. To say I was lost for words would be the understatement of the century. I felt like I was Alice, disappearing down the rabbit hole into some crazy parallel universe.

Part of me wanted to think that Claire was winding me up, playing some joke in and taste. But looking at her face, I could tell she was deadly serious about the two choices she was outlining. Either for me to carry Jason’s baby, or if Neil and I were not okay with that, for me to allow Neil to get her pregnant.

I honestly felt like my head was going to explode. In the space of fewer than twelve hours I’d heard my husband tell another woman that he loved her, and now my supposed friend Hannah was busy planning one or two baby showers for myself and her. Lewis Carroll couldn’t have dreamt up a more bewildering twelve hours if he’d tried. I was well and truly in my own insane version of a very negative wonderland.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just as I was trying to recover from my shock, I heard Neil’s car pulling into the drive. I couldn’t make up my mind whether I was pleased, because it put a stop to the conversation, or frustrated as it left the whole subject hanging mid-air.

I was hit by another surprise when Neil came into the house. He wasn’t alone, he had Jason and Hannah’s son Joshua with him. He’d been away at a friend’s sleepover, and apparently, today was his birthday. ‘Uncle’ Neil had promised to take him back to the same petting zoo which he’d so enjoyed when we first met him.

I could hardly believe it was only four months since we’d first taken him to that zoo. That time seemed a lifetime ago, so much had happened in our lives since then. As we walked around the zoo, it was like the huge decisions that Hannah had discussed with me were frozen, hanging there in mid-air like some giant Sword of Damocles. Walking around with an excited seven-year-old, we had no chance to talk about anything.

I daresay Hannah had planned that it would be she and Neil who would be walking arm-in-arm as they took the excited boy around the zoo, to her credit she was respectful and kept a distance between herself and Neil. Allowing me the time and closeness I so desperately craved with my husband.

The trip to the zoo was followed by a movie and then a pizza. The paranoid part of me thought the whole schedule had been deliberately designed to crowd out any time that Neil and I may get alone together to talk. But my rational brain told me that wasn’t possible, as Hannah hadn’t known I was coming to New York. Only Jason and I knew that I’d be there that weekend.

As our little group wandered around the zoo, in Jason’s absence Neil naturally fell into the role of friend and father figure to Joshua. Neil patiently and lovingly explained all sorts of things to the little boy, both teaching and helping him pet the animals in the right way. I smiled to myself as I watched Neil, so gentle and loving, thinking back to what a wonderful father he’d been to our girls when they were younger. But also worrying about how him being a possible donor for Hannah’s unconceived child might create a bond between them, that would pull him even more strongly into her orbit.

Hannah caught me looking at Neil during one of these moments, and the way she smiled back suggested she knew exactly what I was thinking. As I forced myself to turn away from her haunting smile, I looked at Neil and wondered what he’d feel about being a father to Hannah’s unconceived child. Seeing him squatting down to Joshua’s level, ruffling the boy’s hair and laughing together as they fed the hungry pigs – all of these tugged at my heartstrings and made me realize what a complicated web of relationships we’d weaved.

We finally headed back to Hannah’s condo at around eight p.m.. Joshua was apparently headed to his cousins' house where he’d been invited for another sleepover. As Hannah scampered around getting his stuff ready, I couldn’t help but notice the little signs that Neil had been a frequent visitor here in the two weeks that I’d been away. I saw a bottle of his favorite Scotch in the drinks cabinet and his Office ID hanging with the keys and other passes in the kitchen. If I’d forced myself to look in the closets, I had little doubt I’d find some of his clothes.

I felt like shaking my head in the hope that this was all a bad dream and I’d soon wake up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With the sound of Joshua’s giggles in the corridor outside as he played with his cousins, Hannah closed the front door and finally, it was just the three of us.

Maybe another person would have taken control of events. But I was so beat from the last day and the last week, that I was like a punch-drunk boxer who just rolled with the blows as the events of the evening were directed by Hannah.

With Joshua safely away, she came and snuggled next to me on the sofa, pressing her body next to mine like high school best friends.

“That thing, Claire. Let’s not talk about it tonight. We’re all beat. We’ve spent all day entertaining Joshua. We all deserve to just rest and have some fun.”

To my tired and stressed mind, that sounded very pleasant and reasonable. And the reasonableness continued as she suggested that we take Neil for an evening out, just the three of us together.

The evening started pleasantly enough as we had a wonderful meal at a great new Chinese restaurant in Brooklyn. Hannah warned us not to eat too much as she said there was a new dance club that she wanted us to try. We must have polished off a couple of bottles of wine with the main course, plus some liqueurs afterwards, so we were pretty well lit up and feeling good when we hit the club.

My poor husband was getting no rest, as his two ladies took turns with him on the dance floor. I’d come home with the whole idea of having an intimate weekend to reconnect with Neil, but the booze and meal had put me in a good place and I didn’t mind sharing him on the dance floor, being sure I was going to have him all to myself later.

My wonderful fifty-year-old husband isn’t the fittest of guys, too many business dinners and not enough exercise, and so after half-an-hour he said he needed a rest. Hannah pulled a face and said if he wasn’t man enough to keep his women happy, then she’d summon reinforcements of some guys who had what was needed.

She said it as a big joke, but then she put her lips next to Neil’s ear and whispered something that I couldn’t hear. Whatever was said, Neil’s face suddenly became flushed and his eyes widened in a look of excitement.

Hannah grinned at me and scooted over, and whispered to me just as she’d done with Neil. “I asked him as Jason’s not here as your playmate if he’d like it if I invited Tyrell and Lewis over to the club. You can see how excited he is. They should be here in around a quarter of an hour.”

I was now totally unbalanced and confused. I’d been planning a romantic evening with Neil, and now Hannah was telling me that Neil was excited at the thought of two hot young black guys summoned to dance and be my Jason substitute for the night. Hannah was controlling the evening, and my tiredness and the effects of the alcohol meant that I did little to influence how things were developing.

I remembered how Tyrell had groped my ass at the airport earlier and about the night that I’d spent with the two twenty-something black guys back in January. The evening was spinning out of control and looked like it was going to end up a million miles away from the romantic evening I had planned. And a terrible thought went through my head.

Is this what our marriage had become, that Neil would rather watch me with two young black guys than be with me himself? Last night the love and closeness he felt for another woman had been clear, whereas tonight he preferred to share me with others. The contrast was too painful to think about, and as best I could I pushed it to the back of my mind.

I tried my best to have the romantic evening I’d planned, moving closer to Neil and holding his hand. He smiled lovingly at me, but it was difficult to talk over the music. With a heavy heart, I made a final effort to nudge things back in the direction I’d planned. Putting my head next to his, I shouted over the music, “Honey, I’m fine just the three of us. There’s no need for Tyrell and Lewis.”

Things were so out of control, I wasn’t even sure if Neil heard me properly or not. He smiled and shouted back. “No, honey, I want you to have fun. I know you love to dance and I can’t keep up with you and Hannah. The boys can dance with you and keep you company.”

I touched his face and looked in his eyes. He seemed so naïve, talking about dancing when what I was driving at wasn’t dancing, but how the rest of the evening would pan out. But then I remembered that look of excitement on his face, and I realized he was just being diplomatic. With a sinking feeling that thought pushed it’s way back to the front of my mind. Neil would rather spend the evening watching me than being with me.

As Tyrell and Lewis arrived at the club, I was in a strange mental place. I was depressed as I thought about Neil’s preferences, but part of me wanted to blank out this depression by throwing myself at the boys and partying with them. Just like a drunk or a drug addict will throw themselves into the next fix, even if they know they’re going to hate themselves in the morning. It was the only way I could think to block out the pain I was feeling.

And so as the boys dragged us out onto the dance floor, I threw myself into it. I remembered how Tyrell had groped me at the airport, and I chose him as mine, letting Hannah dance with Lewis. Feeling spurned by Neil, I acted with total abandon, the alcohol spurring me on to behave in a totally wanton and slutty way. If my husband didn’t want me for himself and preferred to share me, then the drunken Claire was determined to punish him. Showing him just what a slut his good little wife could be.

I dragged a slightly bewildered looking Tyrell to the dance floor directly in front of where Neil was sitting and wrapped my arms around his neck as I started putting the moves on him. I locked my hungry mouth to his and forced my tongue deep into his mouth, as he recovered from his shock and our tongues fought.

As I felt Tyrell’s hand start to cup and fondle my boob, I slipped a hand between us and put my hand inside his pants. My young black date moaned as I ran my hand up and down his manhood, using my nails to tickle the edge of his huge circumcised cockhead.

I smiled playfully into his excited face as I toyed with him, pulling his head down to share a secret. “Tyrell, honey. I’m all yours tonight. There’s no Jason tonight. And there’s no Neil. You and your friend can do whatever you want with me tonight.”

Tyrell just looked into my face, as if he couldn’t believe what I was telling him. But as I returned his stare, smiling seductively, his face broke into a broad grin as he knew I meant every word I’d said.

For a while we just danced, our eyes simply locked together in anticipation of what was to come, just holding each other. Then he kissed me, whispering to me, “Claire, baby, I want you so badly. I’m going to fuck you so good tonight, ‘til you can hardly walk and an old man like Jason’s no use to you any more.”

Tyrell’s boastful and disrespectful words excited me. Having been rejected by Neil, Tyrell’s raw and crude promises of how he was going to treat me had me feeling damp and excited.

He stared into my eyes and started making good on his promises. I felt his hands go beneath my top and reach around to unhook my bra. As he pulled the front away, my boobs fell into their natural position and I felt Tyrell start to roll my nipples as his dark eyes looked at me with promises of what was to come. He kissed me softly, and with a wicked grin took three paces towards Neil and handed him his wife’s brassiere, winking at my husband as he handed the garment across.

As we danced, my arms were locked around his neck as I gazed into his eyes, enjoying the feel of his rough mechanic’s hands on my unfettered boobs. I eased our bodies around so that I was looking into Neil’s face, and I blew him a kiss as my arm left Tyrell’s shoulder and snaked it’s way back into Tyrell’s pants. The young man had gone commando, and I loved the feel of his hot throbbing cock, as I worked my hand up and down his huge manhood.

Winking at my staring husband, I pressed my mouth to Tyrell’s and we shared a long passionate kiss before I broke free and led Tyrell by the hand back to our table.

Still standing, I bent to give a platonic kiss to Neil, then pressing my hot mouth to his ear to share my plans.

“Honey, I’m just taking Tyrell to the restroom for a while. I need to feel his huge cock up inside me.”

As I looked into Neil’s eyes I smiled, seeing that my words had the desired effect, with Neil looking in a state of shock. And then as planned, I kissed him sweetly on the nose, my hand squeezing his crotch. “After all, honey, isn’t that all I’m good for. Taking cocks much bigger than yours, while you watch and wank? Isn’t that what you want?”

Even over the music and effect of alcohol, Neil must have heard the anger and acid in my voice. My sarcasm showed what I really wanted, which was for my husband to take me home and make love to me. And a little bit of me died inside as he just sat there, a shocked look of excitement on his face, and said nothing. And did nothing.

My anger turned to sadness. I’d felt sad and abandoned earlier, but this latest rejection took me to a new low. Neil must have seen this change in me through the expression on my face, but even this drew no reaction from him. No defense or reclaiming of his wife.

Tyrell spun me around, and even he saw the change in my face. He gave me a kiss that surprised me in its gentleness, and with our eyes barely inches apart told me what I needed to hear. “Claire, forget him. He’s a fool. If he doesn’t want you, then I want you. I want all of you, all night.”

He kissed me softly again and looked sympathetically into my eyes. “Claire, you’re an amazing woman, and I know my boss Jason loves you. What do you say we show your fool husband what he’s missing.”

And as he looked into my eyes, the soft look of sympathy was gone. There was a hardness and an anger which sparked the same feelings within me. As my sadness turned to a smile, I kissed Tyrell and bent one final time to give Neil one final message.

“Honey, I’ll be back in a bit, I’m just going to get me a proper cock, a real cock,” with the acid and bile back in my voice to match my anger.

I was so angry and hurt that I didn’t bother to look back at Neil as I dragged Tyrell by the hand to the restroom.

Once inside we found a cubicle and locked the door. I pulled my simple cotton top over my head and enjoyed the lustful look the young black man gave my big boobs as he enjoyed seeing them again for the first time in four months.

Driven by my anger rather than my sadness, I wanted to be in control and I unbuckled Tyrell’s belt and pulled his baggy denim pants to the floor. It was my turn to gawp at something I’d not seen in four months. I’d forgotten just how big he was, my mind wondering how any man could be even bigger than Jason’s huge ten-inch cock. But my eyes didn’t lie, I’d felt Tyrell inside me before and I remembered the amazing feel of him, and how his extra girth and length took me to a new level.

Tyrell grinned proudly as he caught me staring at his huge cock, and something in that expression of his reminded me that I was twenty years older than him. But I didn’t care. I wanted to feel him deep inside me, and so I pushed him to sit down on the toilet seat as I pushed my panties to one side and started climbing into position above him.

My leg brushed against his engorged cockhead as he helped lift me and support my weight, and I realized just how wet and hard his young cock was. Somehow, in the narrow confined of that stall, between the two of us we managed to slowly lower me down onto his massive young cock. Even though Jason had been my lover for five months, feeling Tyrell’s extra girth and length was an amazing experience for me.

When he was fully in me, I just sat astride him, our lips and eyes locked together as I just enjoyed the feel of him so deep in my body. We must have stayed like that for several minutes, as he cupped and squeezed my boobs and I just savored him being in me. And then I signaled that I wanted more, raising my hips as much as I could and Tyrell got the message.

Tyrell wasn’t as tall as Lewis or Jason, but he had a lean wiry strength to him, and he had little difficulty in lifting my body up and down so that I could enjoy the full feeling of each stroke of his huge cock. The feeling was amazing, and all thoughts of Neil, Hannah or anyone else were a million miles from my brain, and I rode my young stallion, coming noisily as my body crashed through my first climax.

When I’d recovered, Tyrell lifted me off and told me he wanted to do me doggy style, and I smiled at him, enjoying his simple and youthful desire for me. It was good to be a long way away from all the complications of the other two men in my life. Just enjoying the purely physical pleasures of a well endowed young man who wanted nothing more than to enjoy my body and give me pleasure.

I moaned in contentment as I felt him slide his full length deep into me, and hung onto the cistern as he built up speed. He was soon slamming into me, squeezing and cupping my big boobs, as he serviced me like a stallion covers a mare. On and on he went, pistoning that iron hard cock of his in and out of my receptive body.

I had no idea if we had an audience outside our cubicle, and I didn’t care and did absolutely nothing to quieten my squeals and sobs. I needed this as an outlet for my anger and sadness, and I didn’t care about the rest of the world.

My second and third climaxes weren’t long in coming, before Tyrell roared like a bull, gripped my hips with a vice-like ferocity and gave one last, deep lunge. I felt his cockhead expand and flex as he shot spurt after spurt of his virile seed deep into my womb, and cried out as we shared a final orgasm together. I collapsed in a heap, my elbows on the cold porcelain of the cover, sucking in deep breaths of air to soothe my lungs.

Slowly Tyrell and I started picking ourselves up. Two people trying to get their clothes back on and not punch or kick each other in the process, in a stall less than two feet by five. We laughed at the awkwardness, and finally were presentable and made our way out of the restroom.

I was holding Tyrell’s hand and feeling happy as I walked back into the club. But the moment I saw Neil again, with Hannah now sitting on his lap, my anger returned at the thought of how he’d rejected me earlier.

As we approached the table, I put my hand on Tyrell’s chest and stopped him. Placing my arms around his neck, I kissed him. “Let’s go back to your place.”

My young black lover smiled and kissed me back. “Sure thing, Claire. I’d love that. But just one thing. Can Lewis come to? He’s my bro and I don’t want to leave him high and dry.”

I looked across at Lewis, the handsome young giant, and felt sympathy. I’d have preferred a night just alone with Tyrell, as I needed the closeness of being with just one man. But I felt sorry for Lewis, and I also had the evil thought that I could use this to get back at Neil.

Tyrell was still waiting for my answer, as he patiently waited for me to think it through.

“Sure, why not? The more the merrier. Just wait here a minute, I need to say something to my loving husband.”

After one final kiss to assure him I wasn’t going to change my mind, I walked over to Neil who was looking directly at me. Hannah and I stared at each other, our feelings clear, as she sat possessively on Neil’s lap.

I slowly ran my finger along Neil’s cheek, and took his hand and placed it inside the gusset of my sodden panties so he could feel Tyrell’s seed leaking out of me and how battered my pussy was from Tyrell’s size.

Neil looked for all the world like a startled rabbit it a car’s headlights as I whispered in his ear. “There you go, lover. I know that’s what you love, what you prefer. Can you feel what Tyrell’s done to your wife? And now, if it’s okay with you, I’m going to go back to Tyrell’s place and let him and Lewis do whatever they want with me.”

I pulled back to see the trance-like look of my husband’s face and kissed his ear with my final message. “Goodnight, honey. Sweet dreams. Think of me as while you’re making love with little miss plastic tits.”

And with that, I grabbed Lewis by the hand and walked out of the club arm-in-arm with my two young black paramours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Physically the next few hours were amazing. Tyrell and Lewis were both talented and well-endowed lovers, their youth meaning that they were hungry for my body over and over again. But I was an emotional wreck, and I was all over the place. Sometimes my anger with Neil drove me to a passion and intensity that turned me into a wild woman. A woman possessed who craved their touch and the pleasure of their maleness thrust deep and hard into my core.

Sometimes my sadness overwhelmed me and I hardly responded to their touch, passive and listless as I just let them use my body.

At other times my sadness and sorrow took me in the direction of needing to be close and desired by a man. Any man. Then I’d cling to them and give myself fully to their touch, hoping in some strange way that they’d magically turn into Neil. If only I tried hard enough and wanted it enough.

Eventually, they were done and wanted my body no more. It was already the early hours of the morning, and they both soon fell into a deep sleep, exhausted from their hours of love-making with me.

They slept like babes, but I slept little that night. The alcohol had worn off, and my mind was filled with the thoughts of how hurt and angry I was. Filled with thoughts that at this very moment Neil and Hannah were happily tucked up in bed together, while I was left feeling lonely with two men who loved me only for my body. And it was worse than just feeling lonely because I was also afraid. Afraid of how Hannah would be using her knowledge of my baby conversations with Jason against me, and to manipulate Neil to get what she wanted from him.

And just before sleep finally caught me for an hour or two, I thought how I had two stark choices in front of me later that day. Either I’d realize there was nothing left for me here in New York, and head South on the first available flight. Or, I’d do what I should have done earlier, and stand my ground and fight for my marriage and my family.

honestly didn’t know which I’d have the strength or desire to do. But as looked at the calendar on my phone, Sunday 16th April 2017, I realized it was Easter Sunday. And managing somehow to appreciate the irony, knew that today would somehow mark the resurrection and new life in one of my two relationships. It was just I had no idea which one.