January
"Angelica. I dare you to kiiiiiiss..." Mariah let the word linger as she looked around the small group of her peers, deciding who she wanted the shy girl to kiss. Angelica sat sideways at her desk, dressed modestly in her school uniform; a light blue top tucked neatly into her navy pleated skirt, her thin legs covered in gray wool tights. She wore a matching sweater, unbuttoned but still covering her already imperceptible breasts.
Angelica usually did her best to fade into the background. She didn't think of herself as the prettiest girl. She was too skinny and her skin was too pale. Her lips were too big and too pink and shaped funny. Her eyebrows were too bushy and her plain, brown eyes were too big and round.
Despite her perceived imperfections, Angelica had a sweet, innocent-looking baby face, she acknowledged, but she often found it a bit goofy looking. She'd complained it was more adorable than cute. Nobody would think, "Look at that hot chick," if she walked past but they'd probably say, "Aww, look at that adorable little pouting baby face."
Angelica's opinions about herself were unfairly critical, or so Roman, her older brother, kept telling her. He had always said she was cute, but surely in an adorable little sister-type way, Angelica thought. Whatever features she complained about, he'd praise. Her eyebrows weren't 'bushy' to him, they were 'full,' as were her swollen lips. Her eyes weren't 'buggy' to him but big and bright and beautiful. And her breasts weren't tiny and insignificant, they were 'perfectly proportional' to her slender frame.
Her brother's compliments helped to nurse her self-confidence up to an acceptable level, but she was still very shy.
Angelica had only joined the flirty little game in the back of the classroom to have a chance to kiss Leo, her secret crush. But there she sat, regretting her decision. Why did I get myself into this? she thought in despair, hiding her fear behind a faint smile.
How would she be able to kiss Leo? In front of the whole class!? She wouldn't. She couldn't!
Angelica flushed. Her palms, neck, and armpits got remarkably sweaty in seconds. Her nerves rattled within her. She looked for a way out. Any way out.
Only two boys were playing the game - Leo and Roman. The rest were girls. Angelica decided she'd be less terrified to kiss one of them, and placed her hopes there, silently willing Mariah to say one of the other girls' names. She was no lesbian, so she didn't relish the possibility, but she was a lot more comfortable around other girls than guys. And so, she wished. Hard.
"Roman," said Mariah with an evil smirk. The other players' eyes widened and the name caught the attention of some who weren't even playing. Even the indifferent substitute teacher looked up in confusion, then down at the attendance list, likely confirming his suspicion as he reread the siblings' names. Roman Day. Angelica Day. He returned to his apparent indifference but glanced up every couple of seconds to see if Roman would kiss his sister.
Though the dare drew more attention, Angelica was relieved. She was more comfortable with her brother than she was around Leo or any of the girls. Angelica was pleasantly surprised when Roman lifted himself from his desk and leaned in for the kiss. He was always comfortable around girls and would have probably preferred to kiss another one of them, Angelica thought, but since they were so close, there were no nerves and no reservations.
Roman kissed his sister on the lips. A modest kiss. Maybe a second longer than Angelica had anticipated, but then it ended. And Angelica felt...strange. But a good strange.
When they opened their eyes, their gazes met very briefly, and she knew he felt it too. Whatever it was. They quickly looked away from one another and Roman sat down.
"Hmph," Mariah scoffed. "That was anticlimactic. Thought it would be hot to see you two kiss. But that was just...cute. And not in a hot way."
Some of the group snickered at Mariah's comment. They continued the game for the next few minutes. Angelica snuck out of the circle but watched from afar as the game progressed. By the end, Roman and Leo had kissed each of the five girls playing the game. A little tinge of jealousy went through Angelica, and she was sure it was because the other girls got to kiss Leo, rather than Roman. She had to be sure about that. The alternative was wacky, but she had considered it, if only briefly before dismissing it out of mind.
After class, Angelica found herself contemplating the kiss again. She imagined the feeling of her brother's lips on hers to analyze the strange feeling she had. That good, comfortable, peculiar feeling. A feeling she thought she might feel if she had ever gotten a chance to kiss Leo. She refused to draw the logical conclusion though, and dusted away the thoughts every time they recurred, which was quite often.
Angelica found herself revisiting the kiss in her mind again and again throughout the rest of the school day, growing frustrated that the sensation of her brother's warm, soft lips was fading from hers - the good and weird feeling sinking from memory too soon. She thought of how to bring the dwindling feeling back but then dismissed the only true solution. I can't kiss my brother again...
Can I?
Angelica felt especially close to Roman her entire seventeen years of life. Their parents always commented on their closeness and the way Roman took care of his little sister. It took some of the pressure off of them. He'd always been the one to console her emotionally and encourage her. Even the reason they ended up in the same grade was an endearing little anecdote.
Three weeks after Roman was born, their mother had gotten pregnant again. Seven months later, on Christmas day, Angelica was born prematurely. She was so tiny and would remain small relative to other kids throughout her childhood and adolescence. The two were inseparable as toddlers - so much so that when Roman went off to kindergarten, little Angelica was inconsolable. She cried the entire time until their mom pulled Roman out of school halfway through the first day, deciding to enroll Angelica a year early and send them both to school the following day. Roman would already be five when he started kindergarten (his birthday was in early May), and Angelica would turn five during the school year.
And they would be together.
"It was just a kiss," Roman said with a shrug as he walked home with his little sister. Angelica trusted her brother enough to talk to him about anything and asked him how he felt about their kiss. "It wasn't that big of a deal to me."
Angelica frowned. She thought, maybe even hoped, he might have had the same feeling she did. The involuntary emotional recession she suffered when the kiss faded made her confront the fact that she liked the kiss. She wanted him to have liked it too, at least. She was a bit disappointed to hear it meant nothing to him. Nevertheless, she agreed with him. "Yeah, I guess it was nothing to go nuts about."
Roman sensed the shadow in Angelica's tone. "But, y'know, it wasn't bad or anything." Angelica tried to hide her smile but Roman saw the smirk on her lips. He continued. "I mean, you are my sister and I do love you, so, I guess..." Roman trailed off.
"You guess what?" Angelica asked, smiling, trying to keep the excitement out of her voice. She needed to hear that he liked it.
"I guess that's why it felt kind of...y'know, good." Roman looked at Angelica. Her face was discerning, trying to decipher his meaning. "I mean, we're family, and family members kiss all the time. Parents kiss their kids - even on the lips and it's not weird or anything." Roman shrugged again with nonchalance.
"It felt good?" Angelica asked softly, stopping to face Roman, and looking upward at him. She saw a tinge of regret on his face so she spoke quickly before he could recant his statement. "I liked it too," she said and then softened it with, "Y'know, because we're so close and everything. It just feels natural to kiss you. And, like, good." Angelica flushed. Roman smiled, and then discreetly checked his surroundings. Only halfway home, there were other students walking nearby and cars driving past on the street. He wants to kiss me again! Angelica thought with excitement and fear of equal parts.
Roman just smiled and started walking again. After a few thoughtful seconds, Roman spoke. "I think Mariah wanted to like, get off on seeing us kiss," he chuckled.
Angelica laughed, "Yeah, and did you see how everybody turned to watch us? Our whole senior class is full of weirdos."
"Maybe they just wanted to see if we would do it," Roman offered.
Angelica thought for a second. "Nah. If they weren't freaks it wouldn't be a big deal to see us kiss. If it was a normal thing, why dare us to do it? They wouldn't have dared us to hug."
Roman shrugged. "Might as well have. It's not like they told us to do something sexual. What's the difference between a hug and a kiss? I mean, if it's just a kiss. I don't see how that's freaky, honestly."
"But you said it felt good." Angelica pouted, a little bothered by the fact that her brother was minimizing the kiss she cherished.
"Good doesn't mean sexy, though," her brother said. "I think pizza is good, but it doesn't turn anybody on."
Angelica didn't like their first kiss being compared to pizza, but she had to agree. The kiss hadn't turned her on, exactly. It was more of a cuddly, lovey, comfy thing, with a hint of excitement because of its supposed taboo. Her recollection of the kiss wasn't at all like the fantasies of Leo she had played out in her mind - fantasies that made her feel tingly and warm all over.
With that distinction made in her mind, she relaxed, but began to question, why is it bad for me to kiss my brother? We both liked it and it wasn't sick or anything. So, maybe it's not a big deal at all, like he said.
"So it didn't make you feel...weird?" Angelica asked. "Or uncomfortable?"
"No," he answered. "Why would it?"
"Because I'm your sister. Most boys don't even like being around their sisters, let alone kissing them on the lips."
"It was a little weird doing it in front of everybody," Roman conceded. "But I don't see it as some big, freaky, perverted thing. It wasn't like incest or something."
Angelica's cheeks warmed at the word 'incest,' her heart rate rising. That word should be taboo when talking about engaging in what can sometimes be considered foreplay with your sibling. She had often daydreamed of Leo kissing her, long and forceful, and that had gotten her hot and bothered. No! This is different, she told herself.
"I guess you're right," Angelica said as they ascended the steps and approached their front door. She hesitated, a little nervous to ask her next question. "Um, so..., you think it should be okay for a brother and sister to like...sometimes...kiss?"
Roman looked at her. "I can't think of a reason they shouldn't. Can you?" Angelica shook her head, studying his face as he studied hers. Is he thinking what I'm thinking?
Brother and sister stood face to face at the front door, hesitant to make any moves, every second growing more sure of what the other wanted, a mist of nervous energy flowing between them. The first time they had kissed it had been a dare. They had to do it. Them's the rules of the sacred game of Dare. But now, would they kiss just because they wanted to?
Angelica was frozen, hesitant to cross that line - even after the long conversation disarming their first kiss as nothing to write home about, assuring one another it was okay, confirming that it wasn't incest. God, that word again! she thought, suddenly overwhelmed with worry.
Angelica was about to turn away and reach for the door handle when Roman took a step forward, and gently took her hands in his. His hands were sweaty, as was hers. He looked down into her eyes, his five feet and eleven inches towering over her five and five. He kissed her, quickly and modestly, even more so than the first time. And shorter too. She could feel his lips, soft and warm as they were, quivering slightly against her own.
Roman pulled back from the kiss and studied Angelica's eyes. She smiled coyly and leaned toward him, hoping to convey the message: please kiss me again, but this time longer so it won't fade from my heart's memory so fast.
Roman answered her silent plea. He smiled at her smile and came forward, kissing her once more, a bit longer, but not long enough to be indecent. He kissed her the way a father would his young daughter, sweet and innocent and rich with abated affection. "I love you," Roman said after their third kiss.
"I love you too," Angelica said, smiling too big but not caring.
The rest of that day went surprisingly normally. Angelica's mother cooked dinner. They talked about their day, Angelica conveniently omitting the highlight of the day, their innocent little brother-sister kisses. Angelica's parents were pretty liberal, but even they would find their kissing a little weird. And rather than cause concern over something that wasn't that big of a deal, they simply kept the kissing secret.
The next day, Roman woke Angelica by knocking on her bedroom door, as was routine. She showered, got dressed, and walked to school with him in the cool morning air. Not much was different. They went to classes, where Angelica eye-stalked Leo. Roman flirted with Carlotta...and Breyonna...and Mariah. Angelica pushed down (and then denied the existence of) a sprinkle of jealousy, refocusing her thoughts on Leo, her years-long crush. After school, Roman and Angelica walked home. Only this time, when they got to their front door, Roman kissed his sister softly on the lips, as sweetly and as nicely as the first time.
And thus, a new routine had been established. For the next week, after school, Angelica's brother would kiss her at the front door before going inside to greet their parents. Angelica cherished those little kisses. She began to anticipate that daily kiss from the time Roman knocked on her door to wake her to the moment just before his lips met hers on their porch. After the last class of the day, Angelica's tummy would flutter with light, joyful little butterflies. The normal after-school banter wasn't different, but she was much more gleeful and giddy.
They'd be on the porch and Angelica would stand shyly, looking up into Roman's eyes, pouting and blushing and waiting for her brother to kiss her. He'd lift her chin, smiling brilliantly, and then he'd lean in and kiss her. Each day, the kiss grew longer until it became twice as long as the first when Mariah dared them. No matter what happened, it was the absolute best part of Angelica's day. After a good day, her brother's lips were the perfect signature. If the day was a downer, her brother's kiss would melt her troubles away and lift her spirits, making it all better before she entered her home.
On Saturday night, after dinner, Angelica showered, brushed her teeth, and got ready for bed. She felt a little disappointed that she didn't get to kiss her brother that day, their ritual seemingly being confined to the front porch after school. But once her mom and dad had gone to their room and locked the door, and she was under her covers, wearing nothing but a little t-shirt and panties, her brother snuck in. He was dressed for bed too, wearing only a pair of fashionable, white boxer briefs.
