hello authors,
any tips on writing realistic descriptions of online encounters? My problem is with the dialogue. In the cold light of morning the chat log is about as erotic as a laundry list (error, some laundry lists are quite good cf Woody Allen).
I feel the reader should be seduced in the same way I was by my cyber partner's chat but oh how to do it?
Many thanks
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Describing Cyber Sex
Quote by Endymion
hello authors,
any tips on writing realistic descriptions of online encounters? My problem is with the dialogue. In the cold light of morning the chat log is about as erotic as a laundry list (error, some laundry lists are quite good cf Woody Allen).
I feel the reader should be seduced in the same way I was by my cyber partner's chat but oh how to do it?
Many thanks
Don't make it realistic cyber-sex or just adapt the chat you're basing it on. Take the basic fantasy you two were spinning and rewrite it as good dialogue (yes, do format it sa proper dialogue) and make it as erotic as it needs to be, regardless of how the chat log actually reads. If there's some awkward bits, don't use them. Write something better. And be sure to describe your actions as you engage in the chat. That's going to add a lot of heat to the bare exchange of words.
Never written something like this myself, though, so this is just my gut feeling as a writer.
Bug
I try to focus on the feelings created by the experience and use the words as almost props. This was my attempt at a cyber-sex story:
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/the-limitations-of-an-online.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/the-limitations-of-an-online.aspx
Coco Pop
Quote by Burquette
I try to focus on the feelings created by the experience and use the words as almost props. This was my attempt at a cyber-sex story:
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/the-limitations-of-an-online.aspx
attempt? More like "shining example of"!
Wouldn't you rather have a nice cup of tea?
For what it's worth, here's one I wrote with a co-author that incorporated some cyber sex/cam play:
Windows [Part 1 of 3]
Windows [Part 1 of 3]
Don't believe everything that you read.
Bug
Quote by browncoffee
attempt? More like "shining example of"!
Oh, I missed this!
Thank you!Here's another on-line style story that I like, though it doesn't use the chat conversation verbatim:
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/hardcore/the-benefits-of-living-alone.aspx
Ungovernable
Been stalking this thread from minute one, seeking to glean some pointers along the way. (Think Lush will ever give online sex its own story category? just asking.)
Great webcam story I would have otherwise missed. Glad you posted the link!
Adding thumbs-up to Hannah and Marcus' comments on Ms. B's masterpiece.
Quote by Just_A_Guy_You_Know
For what it's worth, here's one I wrote with a co-author that incorporated some cyber sex/cam play:
Windows [Part 1 of 3]
Great webcam story I would have otherwise missed. Glad you posted the link!
Quote by Burquette
I try to focus on the feelings created by the experience and use the words as almost props. This was my attempt at a cyber-sex story:
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/the-limitations-of-an-online.aspx
Adding thumbs-up to Hannah and Marcus' comments on Ms. B's masterpiece.
Bug
Quote by FirstBlush
Been stalking this thread from minute one, seeking to glean some pointers along the way. (Think Lush will ever give online sex its own story category? just asking.)
Great webcam story I would have otherwise missed. Glad you posted the link!
Adding thumbs-up to Hannah and Marcus' comments on Ms. B's masterpiece.
I have to second your sentiment on the webcam story. What a great job JAGYK!
And thank you FirstBlush.
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by Burquette
I try to focus on the feelings created by the experience and use the words as almost props. This was my attempt at a cyber-sex story:
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/the-limitations-of-an-online.aspx
Yeah, this story rocks. And I am glad you mentioned The Benefits of Living Alone - that had stuck in my head, for months now.
As for the OP - I love B saying she uses the words as props. Well put. You could use the actual chat transcript as what you hang the story from - just add little hot bits of description between the lines of dialogue. You wouldn't need much.
Top Shot
So I'm thinking that maybe the OP is trying to write his first erotica piece and is hoping to use chat transcripts to accomplish that feat?
I really--and this is only my opinion--don't think that trying to incorporate all of the elements of any given "sexy chat" is a particularly good idea. I've seen it done once, where the author lifted whole direct dialogue from a chat he'd had with me and put it into his story.
Besides feeling slightly violated (plagiarism is plagiarism, and if you lift my words wholesale from a tract, it's plagiarism) the story was perfectly awful. Not seamless, very jumpy--I couldn't even follow it, and I was part of the story. He eventually killed it, I believe, and has left the site.
Point being, read the divine Ms. B, read Jen, read other writers. Learn to use the "sexy chats" more as research and less as actual verbatim material. Good luck.
I really--and this is only my opinion--don't think that trying to incorporate all of the elements of any given "sexy chat" is a particularly good idea. I've seen it done once, where the author lifted whole direct dialogue from a chat he'd had with me and put it into his story.
Besides feeling slightly violated (plagiarism is plagiarism, and if you lift my words wholesale from a tract, it's plagiarism) the story was perfectly awful. Not seamless, very jumpy--I couldn't even follow it, and I was part of the story. He eventually killed it, I believe, and has left the site.
Point being, read the divine Ms. B, read Jen, read other writers. Learn to use the "sexy chats" more as research and less as actual verbatim material. Good luck.
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Start with 'how r u' followed by 'wanna pvt' and thereafter loads of 'Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh's' and 'Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh's' and finally 'OMG I hav cum'. The end.