Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login

Could a partners fantasy turn you off them?

last reply
21 replies
1.8k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
I'm thinking more about on going relationships, but if you're partner had a fantasy (that was legal) but that required dressing up or role play or even something as obvious as anal or group sex, is it possible that this would completely turn you off them?

I ask because, generally sex advice is about being open and honest with your partner and letting them know what you like, but I'm not sure if that's true. I've not told my wife about all the things that turn me on, because I know (100%) that she wouldn't be into it and I think it would make her realise that what we do sexually, is not enough for me.

Although I guess I'm leading a double life by having sexual experiences outside of my marriage, I genuinely think it's the only way for me to have that 'release' and keep my wife.

I'm aware how selfish that sounds.
Lurker
0 likes
It depends on the other person and how they handle 'new things' - etc.

My husband, for example, flipped out when I told him I masturbate - like seriously flipped the HELL out. [So anything that I think about when I'm alone is off the table - tit torture and all else is staying firmly locked up]. I genuinely thought it would ease his worries about our sex life (since he has a little less interest than he used to) and maybe even find it a turn on - NOPE. Way wrong. Started a fight so intense and long lasting we almost divorced and I've actually found myself fantasizing about him LESS cause - well - he apparently doesn't appreciate that at all.

He also finds the idea of me and other women to be a total disgusting turn off. [So I'm not telling him about any of my fantasies that plant him or me with other women - especially since those scenarios are major 'wtf' type situations that I would honestly want him to engage in in real life]

So clearly he's closed-minded when it comes to me and my sexuality and sexual interests.

And that major difference between the two of us rests on what FANTASY means.

Fantasy for me (and most women) = hot things we like to think about while getting off / having sex. Does NOT mean we want to ENGAGE in it in real life.
Fantasy for him (and most guys) = hot things he likes to think about and DOES want to do in real life. Why bother entertaining a FANTASY if there isn't a desire for it to come true?

Mostly - we're just wired different. Since I'm sexually open minded i have to be very cautious.
Madam Carol
0 likes
I cant judge you for your sexual exploits outside the vows of your marriage. We live an open marriage life style. However we are honest and communicate with each other. Share your fantasies with her. Cheating usually ends up badly.
Advanced Wordsmith
0 likes
we all have to do what we feel is right. I too feel we are wired differently. i view fantasy as a scenario that turns you on but in reality won't ever happen. my wife and i have COMPLETELY different fantasies. Hers are more about loving romantic situations While mine are more sexually graphic so to speak.
Site administrator
0 likes
I think so yes. If I felt that their fantasy was something gross and disgusting.
Lurker
0 likes
There are always limitations... so Yes, that is possible
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
I don't think so. Not all fantasies have to become reality. I've never had problems with a partner's fantasies and vice versa.

Quote by Leighton
I've not told my wife about all the things that turn me on, because I know (100%) that she wouldn't be into it and I think it would make her realise that what we do sexually, is not enough for me.

Unless you have actually talked to her you don't know 100%. You may be surprised but you won't find out by not communicating. I haven't always been into the fantasies of my partners and they haven't always been into mine but we have alway gotten off on getting each other off.

Quote by Leighton
Although I guess I'm leading a double life by having sexual experiences outside of my marriage, I genuinely think it's the only way for me to have that 'release' and keep my wife.

Only if you have her consent but how are you getting it by not discussing that with her? Without consent is a great way to lose it all.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
I always think that it's best to be open about fantasies as I believe secrets can erode a relationship. Fortunately my wife and I have very similar fantasies and talking about them led to a more exciting relationship as we discovered ways of acting some of them out, including involving others.

Click Pegasus4's Profile (lushstories.com) to see my profile.

Click Pegasus4's Stories (lushstories.com) to see a list of my stories.

The Bee's Knees
0 likes
yes. if it were something extremely taboo, it could possibly affect how i felt about them.

Say. Her. Name.


Lurker
0 likes
I'm open-minded and quite accepting of most things but as a few have already said, if it was something that freaked me out, then absolutely!
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
I also am open minded but I too have limits and I wouldn't participate in things such as anal (long story in regards to that), scat or the like.
Rainbow Warrior
0 likes
For me, fantasy doesn't deliver unless it's something that is actually within the realm of possibility. I can never fantasize about sex with celebrities, for instance, because it's not something that could ever realistically happen to me. So usually, at some point, I will try to make a fantasy actually happen, because I'm very curious about new experiences. Consequently, I have tried an awful lot of things most people only dream about, and when I discover it's not really my 'thing', I rarely do it again - gang-bang, for example. Once was enough. I don't need to do another one, but I had to try it at least once.

So, when my boyfriend suggested we try swinging ten years ago, I was game, and for the next two and a half years, we partner-swapped with a number of hot couples, and we both enjoyed it. My twin sister's husband found out we were doing it, and he asked my sister to try it too, and she blew a gasket and kicked him clear into next week! So my brother-in-law learned not to ask her to try any of his fantasies, and I suspect he is off doing them on his own behind her back. I know first-hand that he has cheated on her at least once.

Couples face a big dilemma when their sexual curiosities don't match up. They either wind up divorced, or one or the other of them remains quietly frustrated sexually, and either satisfy themselves as best they can within their secret fantasies, or they go out on their own, and cheat. Our experiment in swinging gradually evolved into me becoming a 'hotwife', and although I've tried a few things with my other-lovers that my boyfriend would not be interested in trying, he never tries to stop me from experimenting. The funny thing is that after all the kinky things I've dabbled in, I've discovered I'm really pretty vanilla in my sexual preferences, and I'm running out of things I haven't already tried.
Short Arse Brit
0 likes
Yes it could.

If he was into all that wearing a nappy kinda thing and wanted me to breast feed him

To each their own I guess but who needs a sexual partner who has mummy issues like that? Breast is best people and clearly bottle feeding has detrimental effects.

Here is one I took of SJ few weeks ago (Runs and hides)

The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
Chuckanator
0 likes
Quote by BethanyFrasier
For me, fantasy doesn't deliver unless it's something that is actually within the realm of possibility. I can never fantasize about sex with celebrities, for instance, because it's not something that could ever realistically happen to me. So usually, at some point, I will try to make a fantasy actually happen, because I'm very curious about new experiences.

Couples face a big dilemma when their sexual curiosities don't match up. They either wind up divorced, or one or the other of them remains quietly frustrated sexually, and either satisfy themselves as best they can within their secret fantasies, or they go out on their own, and cheat. Our experiment in swinging gradually evolved into me becoming a 'hotwife', and although I've tried a few things with my other-lovers that my boyfriend would not be interested in trying, he never tries to stop me from experimenting. The funny thing is that after all the kinky things I've dabbled in, I've discovered I'm really pretty vanilla in my sexual preferences, and I'm running out of things I haven't already tried.


Ditto. Your experience is our experience. Except we both dabbled in infidelity until we discovered we shared mutual fantasies. Plus a year apart cemented our love for one another. Now we live open but honest and sharing my new adventures together. I so much agree that the deception of cheating will destroy most relationships. Like you, we've tried some things that will remain one time only experiments. (Like DP) she will never try it again. I respect that. Check it off the list as "done it" and "never again."
Chuckanator
0 likes
Quote by kiera
Yes it could.

If he was into all that wearing a nappy kinda thing and wanted me to breast feed him

To each their own I guess but who needs a sexual partner who has mummy issues like that? Breast is best people and clearly bottle feeding has detrimental effects.

Here is one I took of SJ few weeks ago (Runs and hides)





Carol says that when I'm sick, I'm like a big baby. And I admit I'm a big titty sucker. Live long enough and we all end up in diapers. Lol.
Short Arse Brit
0 likes
Quote by ChuckEPoo




Carol says that when I'm sick, I'm like a big baby. And I admit I'm a big titty sucker. Live long enough and we all end up in diapers. Lol.



Man Flu is deadly I heard??

Please tell Carol I have an inbox full of stories to catch up on and will read hers soon.
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by BethanyFrasier
For me, fantasy doesn't deliver unless it's something that is actually within the realm of possibility. I can never fantasize about sex with celebrities, for instance, because it's not something that could ever realistically happen to me. So usually, at some point, I will try to make a fantasy actually happen, because I'm very curious about new experiences. Consequently, I have tried an awful lot of things most people only dream about, and when I discover it's not really my 'thing', I rarely do it again - gang-bang, for example. Once was enough. I don't need to do another one, but I had to try it at least once.


Like Beth I have done many things with many people. Their fantasy may have been my fantasy at the time as well.
She echo's my sentiments about a gang bang and like her - I have been there and done that - but never again. I will add Anal to that as well. Partners fantasies became reality and were fulfilled resulting in my aversion to that now. I have partners who have asked to fulfil a fantasy and I have generally complied providing it didn't involve anything considered illegal - unsociable perhaps. Anything involving children would be a completely objectionable and refused by me.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
if she told me her fantasy was eating out Hillary Clinton I think I'd be turned off
Certified Mind Reader
0 likes
Fantasies are fine, but the thing is, unless it's a shared fantasy, it's really selfish to expect the other person to fulfill it for you.

I dated a girl once who was into being dominated. I tried to humour her, calling her 'slut' and 'bitch' during sex, but that really isn't in my character. It wasn't a turn-on for me, and since I wasn't authentically into it, it wasn't really enjoyable for her either.

Post-avant-retro-demelodicized-electro-yodel-core is my jam.

0 likes
Depends on the fantasy. I'm very kinky. There are certain things I'm into though.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
BDSM turns me off, if they persist then yes.....