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Project Semi Colon: Lush Style

Guest
Lurker
Hides in my safe spot until the election is over.
Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
I went out today. It was horrible.

One of the most beautiful places where I live, and it was so horribly beautiful that I cried with the weight of it in my eyes. And now I am back home again, and the grandfather clock has been wound up yet again, and is ticking tocking ticking tocking incessantly and dinging every dinging hour on the dinging fucking horrible hour, and it's so horrible that I keep crying. It's driving me crazy, and the clock-winder just doesn't understand why I'm so anxious about. And neither do I.

I know there will be a Better Day. But it's not today.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

 ***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
Guest
Lurker
Quote by Shylass
I went out today. It was horrible.

One of the most beautiful places where I live, and it was so horribly beautiful that I cried with the weight of it in my eyes. And now I am back home again, and the grandfather clock has been wound up yet again, and is ticking tocking ticking tocking incessantly and dinging every dinging hour on the dinging fucking horrible hour, and it's so horrible that I keep crying. It's driving me crazy, and the clock-winder just doesn't understand why I'm so anxious about. And neither do I.

I know there will be a Better Day. But it's not today.


Hope you feel better soon.
Unknown User
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by Shylass
I went out today. It was horrible.

One of the most beautiful places where I live, and it was so horribly beautiful that I cried with the weight of it in my eyes. And now I am back home again, and the grandfather clock has been wound up yet again, and is ticking tocking ticking tocking incessantly and dinging every dinging hour on the dinging fucking horrible hour, and it's so horrible that I keep crying. It's driving me crazy, and the clock-winder just doesn't understand why I'm so anxious about. And neither do I.

I know there will be a Better Day. But it's not today.


*hugs* it doesn't always make sense. it doesn't always have to make sense. hope things get better, Daisy. you deserve better than hurt, tears and an annoying clock.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Sahar
Active Ink Slinger
Its been a bit of a rough week for my son. Back to his psychiatrist to see if the new meds were working. It was still early to tell but it did appear that some of the mood swings and general depression had subsided quite a bit. Problem was he gained 20 lbs in a month so now they decided to pull him off of them and try something new. And of course insurance is being a pain on accepting new script. Oh, and of course we were warned that perhaps we have 1 or 2 more sessions as he wasn't certain he would be with the same facility by January. so, here we go again..
TonyaL
Snake Charmera
My beautiful friend above sent me this as I was having a couple bad days I believe it needs to be said to all of you as well

My Anti-Valentine Entry 💔

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/cheating/a-valentines-date-to-remember

My first EP and a top ten from the Pride Competition
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/lesbian/-love-is-love-.aspx

Hanging in the background but around
Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Doing better. Sometimes you just can't bother those closest to you, but need to reach out to somebody. Fanks for being around.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

 ***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
Quote by sweetsinner
On Friday I had a minor car accident - minor as in no injuries but there is some extensive car damage. At the time I had a meltdown. I couldn't stop crying an hyperventilating for ages. I spent thrree hours in the carpark before eventually chugging my way home the whole while stuck in a loop of wishing it had have actually been fatal so I could stop feeling like a fucking failure. I'm proud to say I did not open a bottle of alcohol that night despite how much I could have drunk the lot and more and never wanted to wake up. I've since also increased my dose of fluoxetine. Yay.

Today I got my first quote on the (yes uninsured) car which is in excess of $5k and I'm just dying. Although I should have cancelled my appointment to save every penny with everything that is going on I am kind of glad I didn't.

Today


My story is not over.

And some metaphor for flight.

Thanks Kiera for posting the butterfly idea... its what got my A into G and convinced me to get it.
Sending love to all.


That is really beautiful, Sinner. I am really glad you liked the idea of the butterfly but can't take credit for it as I saw it on twitter semi-colon. I follow them and saw people posting their tats and many were butterflies.

Sorry I haven't said much lately or replied to anyone. My holiday to Greece was great, the kids had am amazing time but it left me feeling rather melancholy and I didn't feel like talking to anyone, just had to sort it all out in my head, not that it is but I feel better now.

It was really family orientated and was hard to see all the happy mums and dads with their kids. made me wish i still had that, hate Paul because he took that away from us...the list is endless of the thoughts in my head. Mostly I just don't want to be my age and have to go through the process of meeting someone new, seeing if we hit it off and shit, I just don't want to have to do that again....I also don't want to have to explain myself to someone else and how I am. I mean what if i wake up screaming and loose it if he tries to comfort me? who isn't going to run a mile at how fucked up I am/can be. I just don't want to do that and Paul at least knew how i was/am and why, I never had to explain myself and for so long he made me so happy.

This month is hard and with xmas coming up. Paul has been gone for 6 months as of yesterday and next week is his birthday and sometimes it seems like yesterday he was still with us and sometimes it feels like he has been gone forever ad i fucking hate him and i miss him and it's grrrr and messing with my head and i kinda just snuck into myself again not wanting to be near anyone or talk to anyone for a bit.

Someone here messaged me shortly after he died, she was really kind and told me that the first of everything is the hardest, like his birthdays and xmas and anniversaries but after that it gets easier and I can see exactly what she meant, i know the next time for everything is going to be easier but for now im dealing with all the firsts and it fucking sucks. I have fucked up dreams about him and other stuff and I am not sleeping so good atm. but it will pass. I just want/need to kiss 2016 goodbye and get through the next few months until it's over.

I love you all, thank you for listening. I do fel a little better now, certainly better then i did last week but still not great.
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
MysticalWanderer
Active Ink Slinger
It's so bad when you have BPD! But it's also Good!!


honeydipped
The Bee's Knees


this quote fits this thread perfectly! it makes me happy to see so many concerned with the wellbeing of others. i hope all of you are well and have a fantastic week!

nia?

Say. Her. Name.
Unknown User
Quote by honeydipped


this quote fits this thread perfectly! it makes me happy to see so many concerned with the wellbeing of others. i hope all of you are well and have a fantastic week!

nia?


thanks for sharing nia, it's so very true, what the presence and support of others can do to foster your mental wellbeing.
Unknown User


this reminded me of a poem I wrote over on SS a few weeks back.
Sometimes but rarely the words come out creatively. mostly i'm just stuck in shut down.
had a rough couple of days. i hate sharing myself with others. how do you overcome that to ask for help?
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
love to all my sisters and brothers here. you guys are amazing. thanks for being in my life

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Unknown User
Quote by kiera
I love you all, thank you for listening. I do fel a little better now, certainly better then i did last week but still not great.


Just sending some hugs . I am glad you are feeling a little better.
I don't talk much but am nearly always around if you ever need an ear x
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by sweetsinner


this reminded me of a poem I wrote over on SS a few weeks back.
Sometimes but rarely the words come out creatively. mostly i'm just stuck in shut down.
had a rough couple of days. i hate sharing myself with others. how do you overcome that to ask for help?


gonna go read your work in a bit, first, tho, yeah... i don't know. sometimes i just get to a place where i know that i either need to ask for help or things are going to take a bad turn. it's hard, tho - i have mastered the skill of having conversations when things are falling apart and acting like everything's okay. i'm actually amazingly good at it. things have to be really bad for me to say anything. that's why this has been a real help - i feel i can share here and not be judged or dismissed.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Unknown User
Quote by sprite
gonna go read your work in a bit, first, tho, yeah... i don't know. sometimes i just get to a place where i know that i either need to ask for help or things are going to take a bad turn. it's hard, tho - i have mastered the skill of having conversations when things are falling apart and acting like everything's okay. i'm actually amazingly good at it. things have to be really bad for me to say anything. that's why this has been a real help - i feel i can share here and not be judged or dismissed.


Thank you

Whenever I share here it feels cathartic but for some reason I end up shutting down after. It's just how I deal, it's like I let my vulnerabilities open and then go back to pretending I'm fine because if I don't I kind of feel like I'm drowning and never coming up for air.
I am always grateful to those that respond to my posts. I know have not acknowledge it on a number of occassions but it always is helpful and means a lot xx
Regnadkcin
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by sweetsinner


this reminded me of a poem I wrote over on SS a few weeks back.
Sometimes but rarely the words come out creatively. mostly i'm just stuck in shut down.
had a rough couple of days. i hate sharing myself with others. how do you overcome that to ask for help?(emphasis added)


I think your last sentence is rather poignant. I really don't share much with all but a couple people. When I feel the darkness, it is also my most private time. Unhealthy I know, but true nonetheless.
Unknown User
Quote by Regnadkcin
I think your last sentence is rather poignant. I really don't share much with all but a couple people. When I feel the darkness, it is also my most private time. Unhealthy I know, but true nonetheless.

This is also true for me. I can share, I am happy to talk about my life, but when I am struggling, it feels like all the windows and doors are locked shut. I can talk about it after, but rarely can I say "I'm in crisis, and I need help" at the moment I need it.
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
Quote by sweetsinner


Just sending some hugs . I am glad you are feeling a little better.
I don't talk much but am nearly always around if you ever need an ear x


Thank you

I am hoping you can try to help me spread awareness of this cause http://www.childrensgriefawarenessweek.com/

For obvious reasons, it's one that is very close to my heart. Quite fitting too because it starts today and it's Pauls birthday today so we are all rather sad. This has given me something to focus on other than my grief today.

I have ordered some ribbons for us and donated some money too in honour of my children and to show my support.

Love to you all
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
Unknown User
Thank you for the link, an important and extremely beneficial cause, and good that it has given you something to focus on and a way to channel your grief through what must have been a tough day for you all. I have donated a small amount, sending you and your children love ❤️
Guest
Lurker
Quote by sprite
love to all my sisters and brothers here. you guys are amazing. thanks for being in my life


Love you too, honey.
Unknown User


Love and hugs to all xx