Person above you awakes in hospital bed and YOU say:

30 Aug 2014

Gonna take your temperature with a cucumber ok?

30 Aug 2014

I did warn you not to go near Ginger with a cucumber Ajax...your back in surgery soon there 1st attempt to remove said cucmber from your arse failed as its lodged so far into your intestines

The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx

30 Aug 2014

I kept telling you that you should keep your ass covered. You wouldn't have blown half of it off when you farted while standing next to that gas pilot light.

My new Flash Fiction:

An Extraordinary Orgasm.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/flash-erotica/an-extraordinary-orgasm-2

30 Aug 2014

Warned you to not let go of the white stick and dog lead....

30 Aug 2014

Fucking a keyhole...really WTF

The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx

30 Aug 2014

Told ya to get changed before going to the nymphomaniac convention

30 Aug 2014

angering the royal family will get you beheaded every time

30 Aug 2014

HT you are the founder...just sayin

Im sorry my puppy bit off ur dick...i was shopping for pedigree chum and he was hungry..ull be fine with well...ummmm lol

Edit..Marcia stop it lol

Marcia once had a nose bleed so bad she flooded texas and all felt she was Moses incarnte like when he parted the Nile....

The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx

30 Aug 2014

awwww bad news babe. you broke both ankles and cracked your skull. good news, the tv's just fine Whistle

30 Aug 2014

Kisssss.....I think we NEED a different "safe" word

30 Aug 2014

Okay, okay. I promise to make sure the stove is off next time I take you on it.

30 Aug 2014

Now look, if that had been a real light sabre you wouldn't be here now. As it is, you won't be needing Viagra any time soon,
and you won't need the light on when you pee at night.