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Things To Do In The Bedroom To Ruin The Mood (ABC Style)

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Moan ( in the bad way )

Opine oratorically, waving a bent pinky for emphasis

Retch when you lick her fanny 🥴

Voice doubts about your STD medication

Watch cat videos on your phone while he's licking you.

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X-men impersonations.

Amphibious anal ambush (toad in the hole)

Cry from gratitude

Defer the offering, choosing sleep instead

Employ a play-by-play commentator. (Preferably Andrés Cantor.)

Joke about one's partner's sexual abilities