characters thoughts in quotes?

11 Dec 2015

What is the rule regarding a character thinking to herself, are quotation marks used?

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11 Dec 2015

Quote by welshman
What is the rule regarding a character thinking to herself, are quotation marks used?

I distinguish thought from dialogue by using single quote marks for thoughts and double quote marks for dialogue. Also, if the thoughts aren't too long I will italicize them. But if you're including a lot of long thoughts in your story you may not want to do that. Too much italic is annoying and a lot of italic is more difficult to read comfortably.

11 Dec 2015

Never use quotation marks. Use italics if anything.

Always remember that you have to write thoughts in the present tense. I'll show you an example.

I stood frozen to the spot, stupefied, eyes bulging with wonder as she unclasped her bra and let it drop to the floor, revealing a cracking pair of jubblies. Fucking hell. They are the biggest pair of fun bags I've ever seen in my life.

Or you can do it without italics. But I usually indicate it's a thought by adding, "I thought" somewhere in the sentence:

Fucking hell, I thought. They are the biggest pair of fun bags I've ever seen in my life.

11 Dec 2015

Thanks I think italics are the way to go

New Microfiction: Through a Window and an earlier one: In a Tight Spot

Exhibitinist category story co authored with LostCoyote 👍🏻 Fully Exposed

11 Dec 2015

Quote by welshman
What is the rule regarding a character thinking to herself, are quotation marks used?

There a few ways to do this...

'Is he serious?' thought Cinnamon. (Single quotes, if actual SPOKEN dialogue is contained "THUS". IE, in DOUBLE QUOTES...)

Is he serious? thought Cinnamon. (Italics)

Is he serious, thought Cinnamon. (Nuthin'!)

(All WORK, once all are CONSTANT...)

xx SF

11 Dec 2015

Well I suppose you could use single quotation marks to indicate thought, but I wouldn't recommend it. It would confuse most readers as to whether it's a thought or spoken dialogue.

And if you're going to indicate it's an internal thought by adding "he thought" then the quotation marks would serve no purpose other than to add ambiguity.

I'm going to have to do some research on this. I might be wrong, but I don't think I've ever read an author that uses quotes to indicate thought.

11 Dec 2015

I would like to hear some other opinions on the matter of using single quote marks to indicate thought.

I've always used the single marks when adding a quote within a quote. I show you:

Sitting in the pub, I announced to my friends, "My missus gave me a treat last night. She pounced on me, straddled my waist and screamed 'I'm gonna ride you like a bucking bronco'!"

11 Dec 2015

Quote by MonsoonMicky
Well I suppose you could use single quotation marks to indicate thought, but I wouldn't recommend it. It would confuse most readers as to whether it's a thought or spoken dialogue.

And if you're going to indicate it's an internal thought by adding "he thought" then the quotation marks would serve no purpose other than to add ambiguity.

I'm going to have to do some research on this. I might be wrong, but I don't think I've ever read an author that uses quotes to indicate thought.

Do come back with the results of your research.

xx SF

11 Dec 2015

(Might take a while to read that many novels, though?)

xx SF

11 Dec 2015

Like Buz I use the single quotation mark and italics for my character thoughts. I try to keep them small and sparse however... quite often my characters "think" out loud!

Whatever method you use, use it consistently throughout your story so you don't confuse the readers.

11 Dec 2015

Quote by MonsoonMicky
I would like to hear some other opinions on the matter of using single quote marks to indicate thought.

I've always used the single marks when adding a quote within a quote. I show you:

Sitting in the pub, I announced to my friends, "My missus gave me a treat last night. She pounced on me, straddled my waist and screamed 'I'm gonna ride you like a bucking bronco'!"

This is ALSO standard publishing practice.

(Again, if CONSTANT and if the context is evident, as in your example!)

xx SF

11 Dec 2015

Quote by stephanie

Do come back with the results of your research.

xx SF

I've looked at about 10 different websites and every one says that using quotation marks to indicate thought is a big no-no. And the first thing that comes up at the top of Google when I googled the question was this:

"Quotation marks are used only to show something that is spoken aloud. Do not put quotation marks around thoughts. You can use italics for this, although it's not necessary and can be distracting."

I knew I was right; I'm always right.

And yes, I believe everything I read online.

11 Dec 2015

Quote by MonsoonMicky

I've looked at about 10 different websites and everyone says that using quotation marks to indicate thought is a bid no-no. And the first thing that comes up at the top of Google when I googled the question was this:

"Quotation marks are used only to show something that is spoken aloud. Do not put quotation marks around thoughts. You can use italics for this, although it's not necessary and can be distracting."

I knew I was right; I'm always right.

And yes, I believe everything I read online.

I do LOADS of things YOU SHOULD NOT DO!!!

(I OFTEN start sentences with 'And'!!!!!)

Don't get me started on THIS SHIT. (Caps are a BIG NO-NO!) I do THAT all the time!!!

xx SF

Everyone: "And you overuse Exclamation Marks..."

Me: "I DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!"

11 Dec 2015

Quote by stephanie

I do LOADS of things YOU SHOULD NOT DO!!!

(I OFTEN start sentences with 'And'!!!!!)

Don't get me started on THIS SHIT. (Caps are a BIG NO-NO!) I do THAT all the time!!!

xx SF

Everyone: "And you overuse Exclamation Marks..."

Me: "I DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!"

Yeah, but you only do that in the forum. Surely you don't do that when writing a story; you'd get told off.

11 Dec 2015

This is a really interesting thread, and I have used several methods to indicate internal monologue, usually italics, very occasionally quotations. But, particularly in a first person piece, I've used dashes, parentheses, bold to set apart a clump of internal dialogue. Test the limits. Whatever works, works. If you go too far, the mods will reel you back in (and they have me, more than once).

Here's one I used here, in Endless Playground. Not exactly internal monologue, but his emotions bubbling up in the third person: "As he closed his eyes and buried his hands in her hair to pull her breathless kisses closer the whole wearied world was left momentarily disappeared behind him--the sympathy cards, the funeral directors, the endless to-do lists, the sterile hospital room, the casseroles lying in his freezer like sides of beef, the soul-dead preacher at the funeral, the countless minutes wasted in waiting rooms of countless doctors, his daughter’s tears, his own tears, the blood tests, the EKG's, the brain scans--all the tears and all the blood and all the loss and all the pain left effortlessly in ashes, leaving only the white hot points of connection where their bodies touched, pussy to cock, hand to breast, teeth to lip."

It's probably too long a sentence too. But fuck it. Test the limits.

11 Dec 2015

Quote by Verbal
This is a really interesting thread, and I have used several methods to indicate internal monologue, usually italics, very occasionally quotations. But, particularly in a first person piece, I've used dashes, parentheses, bold to set apart a clump of internal dialogue. Test the limits. Whatever works, works. If you go too far, the mods will reel you back in (and they have me, more than once).

Here's one I used here, in Endless Playground. Not exactly internal monologue, but his emotions bubbling up in the third person: "As he closed his eyes and buried his hands in her hair to pull her breathless kisses closer the whole wearied world was left momentarily disappeared behind him--the sympathy cards, the funeral directors, the endless to-do lists, the sterile hospital room, the casseroles lying in his freezer like sides of beef, the soul-dead preacher at the funeral, the countless minutes wasted in waiting rooms of countless doctors, his daughter’s tears, his own tears, the blood tests, the EKG's, the brain scans--all the tears and all the blood and all the loss and all the pain left effortlessly in ashes, leaving only the white hot points of connection where their bodies touched, pussy to cock, hand to breast, teeth to lip."

It's probably too long a sentence too. But fuck it. Test the limits.

That is a bumper-long sentence, that 's for sure. I spend hours sometimes, studying my own sentences, wondering whether or not they're too long. You're certainly testing the waters with that one. You're braver than I am.

It's narrative, though, not direct thought.

I'm 99% sure that quotation marks, whether they be doubles or singles, should NOT be used to indicate direct thought. Punctuation is there to help the reader understand what the writer intended, and to eliminate any ambiguity. Surely using quotation marks would only give rise to ambiguity rather than eliminate it. That's what I reckon anyway, and loads of websites I've checked out say that as well.

11 Dec 2015

Whatever you use, it should be consistent and easily understood. I am a story verifier and we do not have a one firm rule for thoughts, just set it apart from dialogue, make it easy to understand and make it consistent throughout your story. Consistency is very important.

Myself, I have been successful using the single quotes with italics. The use of italics without a quote mark at all is acceptable.

11 Dec 2015

Quote by MonsoonMicky

Yeah, but you only do that in the forum. Surely you don't do that when writing a story; you'd get told off.

Oh Fucking Great!!!

(So YOU HAVE NEVER READ anything I've written!!!)

xx SF

(They don't DARE to tell me off!)

NOBODY TOLD JAMES JOYCE OFF!

Everyone: "You DON'T LIKE JAMES JOYCE!"

Me: "Not the POINT, my little Lush Kittens, Neh?"

11 Dec 2015

I've always been told that italics is the way to go but lush is relaxed about it so whichever is allowable. (Though as a reader, I never mistake italics' internal dialogue with external when I'm tired so I think it flows easier)

11 Dec 2015

Quote by stephanie

Oh Fucking Great!!!

(So YOU HAVE NEVER READ anything I've written!!!)

xx SF

(They don't DARE to tell me off!)

NOBODY TOLD JAMES JOYCE OFF!

Everyone: "You DON'T LIKE JAMES JOYCE!"

Me: "Not the POINT, my little Lush Kittens, Neh?"

Actually, Joyce got told off all the time.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

11 Dec 2015

Quote by Buz
Whatever you use, it should be consistent and easily understood. I am a story verifier and we do not have a one firm rule for thoughts, just set it apart from dialogue, make it easy to understand and make it consistent throughout your story. Consistency is very important.

Myself, I have been successful using the single quotes with italics. The use of italics without a quote mark at all is acceptable.

*THIS!!!*

Lush Story Mods will, WITHIN MY EXPERIENCE, permit A GREAT DEAL OF LEE-WAY in the way a PIECE is presented IF the OVERALL HIT hints at a CERTAIN TYPE of STYLISTIC CONSTANCY...

(Even if that THANG is 'out-of-norm'...)

I commented about this on another thread only RECENTLY...

I worked FOR YEARS as a MAGAZINE EDITOR... (You POLISH the contributers into a CERTAIN HOUSE STYLE...)

Lush Mods for the most part ENGAGE with contributers in a way that MAG EDITORS never have time to do.... THEY'LL TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE PROBLEMS!

A "REAL EDITOR" would NEVER give you that respect!!! (They don't have either THE TIME or THE INTEREST...)

xx SF

(OUR Mods/EDS DO!)

11 Dec 2015

I use italics for thoughts. My stories are dialogue heavy so it would most definitely get confusing if I used quotes for thoughts as well. Whoever translates Murakami uses italics for thoughts. It looks cleaner, more professional and just makes more sense. I use italics for thoughts in pretty much all of my stories if you want to see examples of it in actual writing. Once you establish that the italics are thoughts you can seamlessly incorporate them into your story.

11 Dec 2015

Quote by Magical_felix
I use italics for thoughts. My stories are dialogue heavy so it would most definitely get confusing if I used quotes for thoughts as well. Whoever translates Murakami uses italics for thoughts. It looks cleaner, more professional and just makes more sense. I use italics for thoughts in pretty much all of my stories if you want to see examples of it in actual writing. Once you establish that the italics are thoughts you can seamlessly incorporate them into your story.

Hello you...

(CAN WE START OVER AGAIN???)

Or not...

If I were a GIRL my name would be Olive Branch...

xx SF

(I'm TRYING...)

12 Dec 2015

Quote by stephanie

I do LOADS of things YOU SHOULD NOT DO!!!

(I OFTEN start sentences with 'And'!!!!!)

Don't get me started on THIS SHIT. (Caps are a BIG NO-NO!) I do THAT all the time!!!

xx SF

Everyone: "And you overuse Exclamation Marks..."

Me: "I DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!"

@ Steph OMG!!! If Mrs Crane were still alive you would be in soooooo much trouble.

Embarassed

I don't know how to change font to italics when submitting a story...or anything else for that matter Embarassed

I am not really sure the answer tbh as I have only ever written one story based on another persons thoughts but it was written from his POV so wasn't relevant.

I would usually just ask Wilful or go with what Buz suggested tbh they are normally spot on and really helpful if you have any questions.

The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx

12 Dec 2015

The best rule is simply to not use character thoughts - it's clunky and not very imaginative.

Show your characters thoughts, don't tell them.

Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.

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12 Dec 2015

Quote by kiera
I would usually just ask Wilful or go with what Buz suggested tbh they are normally spot on and really helpful if you have any questions.

You should read the previous posts on this thread. We've already established that I'm right. However, the moderators are willing to bend the rules for those who wish to use single inverted commas to indicate thought.

12 Dec 2015

Quote by overmykneenow
The best rule is simply to not use character thoughts - it's clunky and not very imaginative.

Show your characters thoughts, don't tell them.

Yes, I'll agree with this. It takes a very skilled writer to pull it off and make it effective. The key is to blend the thoughts into the narrative, but it is a very difficult skill to master.

13 Dec 2015

Quote by MonsoonMicky

You should read the previous posts on this thread. We've already established that I'm right. However, the moderators are willing to bend the rules for those who wish to use single inverted commas to indicate thought.

we do try to be flexible, with the understanding that this is, at heart, an amateur site - usually, as long as it's consistent and it's obvious while reading, we try to be lenient in most cases. In Steph's case, while he writes a little outside the box, he IS consistent and he has developed it as a style. Also, he's really stubborn about change (and a brilliant writer, although i refuse to admit that in public).

btw, don't ever feel like i'm picking on you - i actually appreciate your thoughtful comments on writing within these threads.- that's why i do try to clarify at times - I know a lot of people don't have any idea what goes on in the back room when it comes to modding - a little transparency seems like a good idea. smile

sprite
senior story mod@LS/evil fairy bitch (hi Kiera!).

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

13 Dec 2015

Quote by overmykneenow
The best rule is simply to not use character thoughts - it's clunky and not very imaginative.

Show your characters thoughts, don't tell them.

I think some of the best writers in the world would disagree with you there. Might even laugh at somebody shying away from something simply because it's difficult to do effectivly.

13 Dec 2015

Quote by Magical_felix

I think some of the best writers in the world would disagree with you there. Might even laugh at somebody shying away from something simply because it's difficult to do effectivly.

Good point. Some might argue that you shouldn't shy away from something just because it's a difficult thing to master.

I think what makes internal thought sound awkward sometimes is the shift in tense. If you're writing narrative in the past tense, the internal thoughts have to be expressed in the present tense. When blending thought with narrative, you're jumping from one tense to another, and I believe that makes it sound clumsy at times.

And I agree that the best writers in the world would disagree with shying away from it. I'm currently reading a Stephen King book (not the best writer in the world, but certainly the most successful) called Bag of Bones and he uses italics to express internal thought frequently throughout and pulls it off beautifully. When done well, it can be effective in character development and suspense building.