About lafayettemister


Regular guy with regular guy needs.

John Deaux
Relationship Status:
Alabama, Alabama, United States
Local Time:
20 Feb 2017 09:20
Nothing special.. I like the same things everyone else does. Movies, music, sports, sex...
Favorite Books:
I don't get the opportunity to read very much. I love to read, but with two kids it's hard to get enough quiet time to do it.
Favorite Authors:
Too many to list.. although the last book I read was by Wally Lamb.... I Know This Much Is True. Great book.. I'll definitely have to read more of his stuff.
Favorite Movies:
The Hangover, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, Glory, Intimacy, Love Actually, lots and lots more.
Favorite Music:
I like most music. The only thing I don't really like is rap, just not my thing. Well, I don't really care for polka music either. hahahaa


Date Joined:
04 Oct 2010
Last Visit:
20 Feb 2017
Page Viewed:
34,885 times

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Latest Forum Posts More forum posts »

Topic: Who was your TV/Movie crush when you were younger?
Posted: 18 Feb 2017 05:38

Joanie "Shortcake" Cunningham

Topic: How much does a woman's height matter to you?
Posted: 10 Feb 2017 05:52

It matters exactly none at all.

Topic: The death of chivalry?
Posted: 02 Feb 2017 06:42

First of all, loyalty and honesty aren't chivalrous, that's just being a decent human being.

But, chivalry can be a good thing, if it isn't overbearing. I'll hold the door open for a woman, but I'll hold it for dudes too if the timing works out a certain way. Which happens frequently. I do think the man should pay, or at least attempt to pay for a first date. Or two. Eventually though, if you date someone long enough, she's going to want to pay sometimes... refusing to "allow" at any point, that's when it becomes offensive chivalry. Also, when you're in a relationship for a while, you get to learn a person's tendencies and know what things the woman you're dating likes you doing for her and which things she'd rather do herself. Respecting her boundaries is the most chivalrous thing you can do.

It can go bad in the other direction. I dated (not for long) a woman that refused to open a door. I recall one cold and windy night, I let her out of the car at the door of the mall while I parked. When I walked up, she was standing and looking at the door... shivering. "Took you long enough". Wtf, if you're cold, open the fucking door and walk inside.

Now, I do believe that men should offer their seat to a standing woman in certain situations. And should always offer his seat to an elderly person, man or woman, and a pregnant woman (most women should do this too, btw).

Topic: Seeking an honest conservative perspective
Posted: 02 Feb 2017 06:11

Okay, I didn't vote fore guy but I'm probably more centrist than most people on here. So, I'll give it a go.

1. First of all, I think it's a bit unfair to ask someone a question and then tell them how the may and may not answer. I'll leave Pres. Obama out of it because he wasn't running, but Hillary was. Many many people voted AGAINST Hillary and not for Trump. Those are the facts, like 'em or not, many people hated Hillary more than they hated Trump. The main quality that Trump has is that he isn't Hillary. People have been saying for months why they preferred Trump. They believe his business acumen will translate into better a better financial situation for the U.S. (clearly, that is debatable) He is is own man (in the sense that he isn't beholden to special interest or paid for several times over... ie Hillary) and his voters believe that gives him the freedom to do what he thinks is best, as opposed to the people lining his pockets. His voters believe his concern for the regular working Joe will improve their lives, which has been stagnate for a decade now. Despite being very wealthy, they dont' see him as an Elite that looks down upon them. It's entirely too early to know if he's a good President.

An honest perspective is that far right conservatives would never have voted for Hillary (or any democrat) just as far left liberals would never have for Trump (or any republican). The fact of the matter is, millions of people who are just-left-of-center, center, and just-right-of-center; voted anti-Hillary rather than pro-Trump.

2. He has the same traits as most people seeking such powerful positions. Arrogance, over inflated self-worth, narcissism... they all have that, he just has an over abundance. But, he has all that plus he's petty. Not a good cocktail. His need for constant approval will prove exhausting for the people who work closely with him.

3. As a small business owner, I'm down with his pulling back on small business regulation as it is like a constant strangle on my throat. The amount of paperwork and red tape and bureaucracy I deal with is mind blowing. Countless hours and thousands of dollars spent just to keep in line with the government. Time that could be spent training employees, working with customers, spending time with my family. I only have four full time and one part time employee, I can't imagine if I had more. Good god, it's exhausting.

4. It's really too early to know what his end game truly is and/or how he wants to achieve it. For example, the 20% tariff on Mexican imports. He knows that'll never fly, it's a bargaining salvo. After it's all said and done and the bickering and negotiations are done, I wouldn't be surprised if there is a 3-5% tariff on Mexican imports. Probably what he wanted all along. But, if he starts at 5%, he may have to go down to 1%. Obviously, his travel ban is stupid and over reaching, but as with the 20% tariff, I'm wondering what his plan will be whittled down to after the smoke clears.

Like I said, I didn't vote for the guy but I have plenty family and friends that did, so I know their reasons. That being said, if there were NO other candidates on the ballot and I only had two choices... Trump or Hillary, I'd have selected Trump as I trust Hillary even less than I do Trump.

Topic: Petitions to secede from the United States after the election
Posted: 27 Jan 2017 13:52

California's turn at trying to secede.

California secession

Topic: i just had this thought about " The Wall"....
Posted: 27 Jan 2017 13:40

I find it pretty interesting that the same people that say keeping low wage earning immigrant workers (and/or illegally cheap/underpaid wages) will keep consumer costs from skyrocketing or disappearing are the same folks that say raising the minimum wage to $15/hr will improve our economy because people will have more money to spend. That "living wage" wouldn't have any impact on business costs or any other negative impact and would make business flourish.

Paying $8/hr instead of $5/hr = bad
Paying $15/hr instead of $8/her = good

Topic: i just had this thought about " The Wall"....
Posted: 27 Jan 2017 06:09

Look up Nogales in google maps and look at it with satellite view. There are no house straddling the border now, but I bet they were there, before that fence cut the town in half..

Okay, so I'm wrong about houses at the border. Mea culpa

Topic: Velma or Daphne?
Posted: 27 Jan 2017 05:17

Velma, no doubt. She'd be my girl. But, Daphne could be my side chick.

Topic: i just had this thought about " The Wall"....
Posted: 27 Jan 2017 05:16

The thing is, it doesn't matter how many people they hire to build it. It's literally impossible to build. There are mountains, rivers, canyons and people's homes this ridiculous wall would have to go through. And it's estimated that it would cost over $300 BILLION. It can't be done.

In those areas, a wall won't be necessary. A mountain or canyon or river will provide a natural barrier. Also, a wall covering the entire landscape may not be necessary, you build it in strategic places and funnel people to the openings. Sure, some will go over or under but not all. Homes? I doubt there are any actual homes that straddle the US/Mexico border.

I'm not condemning or condoning the wall or it's need, only the logistics of it aren't that difficult to comprehend.

Topic: A different kind of marriage inequality
Posted: 26 Jan 2017 12:14

Inequality for the disabled

Today was a historic day for LGBT people as SCOTUS ruled to extend marriage to same-sex couples, and several transgender people born in states like Tennessee and Ohio, unable to marry because of their states refusing to change their gender marker on their birth certificates. I am celebrating for all my friends who now have the right to marry, but I cannot celebrate for myself, because I still cannot get married.

I shared the work I have been doing over the past two years, to spread marriage equality to people with disabilities on Facebook, reminding people that our work is not done if we want marriage for all. It received a firestorm of both criticism and support. I would like to clear a few things up because people seem confused about the issue. I understand it better than most, so let me try to answer your concerns, and criticism, and questions.

While YES, technically, people with disabilities can get married, SOME face harsh penalties that are so steep they have no choice, but to not get married. This is similar to the argument people who were against LGBT marriage equality used when they said “technically” gay people could get married because they could marry a member of the opposite sex. While TECHNICALLY that was true, that doesn’t mean the law was not discriminatory, unfair, and oppressive. That does not mean gay people had a CHOICE in choosing to marry who they loved. Those people with disabilities affected by this penalty also have no CHOICE in choosing to marry who they love.

This law is a penalty….it ensures those with the most severe disabilities, those that cannot work, those that are working but cannot live without additional supplemental income, or those that require benefits and services only available through programs like Medicaid are forced to make the impossible choice between services…often life saving services, and marriage. I don’t believe that is any choice at all, much like telling a gay person to marry a straight person we have no real choice in whether we can marry.

How do you tell a person to choose between having food to eat and getting married?
How do you tell a person to choose between going to the bathroom and getting married?
How do you tell a person to choose between their medication or their therapy or their wheelchair or their program that helps them to be more independent and self-sufficient and getting married?

The person that makes such decisions is not being given a choice. That choice has been taken from them because invariably they are going to choose life, food, medication, having help doing bodily functions, etc. over marriage. These are NEEDS not WANTS.

For example, if I get married I lose PCA care. If I lose PCA care I don’t have anyone to help me get out of bed and into my wheelchair. I don’t eat, because I cannot feed myself. I don’t go to the bathroom, because I need help getting on the toilet. I don’t bathe, because I need someone to wash me. When I’m having an asthma attack, I would end up dead, because I cannot get to my rescue inhaler without help. How can anyone tell me I have a choice when choosing between living life and marriage?

It is a FACT that you don’t even have to be married to lose these services. Social Security can determine you are “playing married” even if you are not legally married to your partner. Social Security can determine eligibility for SSI, SSDI, and can help determine eligibility for Medicaid. They can kick you off services, even if you are not legally married, if they say you are acting like you are married. This is ridiculous and scary for those of us with disabilities who depend on services to survive.

It is a FACT that if we marry, Social Security expects us to become the financial burden of our spouse. If ourespouse is able-bodied,how are they going to have a job and provide services? I require 24-hour care, personally, so if I were to get married, my partner would not be able to work, because she would spend all her time doing my care. We would be destitute. We would lose our home. We would not be able to afford to eat. This can put a huge amount of stress on the person having to do all the care, and the person with a disability may become trapped in a harmful situation, with no way out. If both people have a disability, both of their services are cut. If they both rely on SSI, neither of them will have enough to live, and they may not be able to get Medicaid services essential to survival.

I know many couples with at least one partner who has a disability who are stuck living in domestic partnerships because getting married is not an option.

It is a FACT that Medicaid is the only insurance those of us with home health care needs can utilize for said needs. PCA care is NOT available through ACA insurers. While some private insurances MIGHT offer private duty nursing, many of us do not qualify for nursing.

It is a FACT that some of us who need these services are working. We want to work. We want to contribute to society. We also have to be careful how much we make, because we cannot afford to lose services.

So, if Medicaid is the ONLY insurance we can use to get important life saving services or waiver services that buy us much needed equipment like lifts to get us in and out of bed or certain parts of wheelchairs we need that other insurance will not pay for, we have to follow the parameters to stay on Medicaid. That often leaves many people with disabilities living in poverty. It also limits our job options. Over 80% of people with disabilities are unemployed, and this is one of the major factors as to why.

It is a FACT that this penalty does not just affect people with physical disabilities. There are many people with invisible disabilities…. some are autistic, have mental health disabilities, or have developmental disabilities who simply cannot work because of their disability. This is not just the case for those of us with physical disabilities. In both the visible and invisible disability communities there are plenty of people who can work or want to work, that cannot get hired due to income limits. I want to make it clear that disability does not determine your ability to work or not. I know autistic people who can work and some who cannot, for example. My point was just to point out that there are people with non-physical disabilities who cannot get married, some because they need Medicaid services only available through Medicaid, and others because they can’t work at all and they are unable to survive without SSI.

This transcends gender identity, sexual orientation, race, culture, etc. It can affect anyone with a disability, and maybe it might not be affecting a person right now. However, if their disability progresses, this may become an issue they face, and they may have to end up getting divorced. I know many people who have had disabilities progress or have acquired a disability later in life due to illness or injury, who now need something like PCA services and their ONLY option to get those services is to divorce their spouse. This is because, as I have stressed above, you cannot get married and keep these services. You must choose your health needs or marriage. You simply cannot have both.

It is a FACT that this issue can also affect older Americans. As older Americans require more care, some of them have had no choice but to divorce their partners, if they want to remain in their home and in their community. For those finding new love, marriage is not an option if they need services.

This could affect every single person reading this post at some point in their life. Unless you are a multimillionaire, you should act now, and support removing the penalty before it affects you or someone you love. We deserve the right to get married too, and we should not have to sacrifice ourselves or our lives to do so. Help us make this right.

Sign the Petition: Petition Here
Join the Group: https://www.facebook.com/MarriageEqualityForPeopleWithDisabilities


We cannot do this without you.

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Stories Published By lafayettemister All Stories »

The Bet With My Landlord

Ms Parker is kind of an outcast. Despite being kind and outgoing and just a normal member of society, people shun her. Men didn't seem to be attracted to her since she was a bit overweight. Or it could be the weird living partners she had, compared to the societal norms in this conservative little town. She lived in a fairly big house with her two roommates. Marcus was a smallish fellow....

Added 18 Nov 2011 | Category Reluctance | Votes 92 | Avg Score 4.83 | Views 42,786 | 45 Comments

Age vs Youth

It is just another regular day in my life. Wake up, drink coffee, head to work, blah blah blah, go home. I've been living in the city for a few weeks now but haven't had enough time to venture out and see the sights. Hit the clubs or restaurants. Or most regrettably, pick up any dates. Leaving the office that day I had no idea how my life was about to change. As I left work I headed down to...

Added 29 Mar 2011 | Category Straight Sex | Votes 25 | Avg Score 4.96 | Views 6,094 | 13 Comments

Rebecca Gets Hers

"Andy, I'm going to get my mani and pedi. Be sure to have the minutes of the staff meeting typed and on my desk before I get back. And pick up my dry cleaning on your lunch break, but get back to work on time in case anyone calls for me. And this time, lay them in you car neatly. Last time you picked up my things they were wrinkles in my shirts from your carelessness. You may not care that...

Added 24 Mar 2011 | Category Reluctance | Votes 43 | Avg Score 4.92 | Views 17,306 | 15 Comments

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Happy New Year

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Merry Christmas

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Merry Christmas, John!

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Posted: 21 Dec 2016 11:12
... giggles

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Happy Birthday from the Lush team.

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.. giggles..

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... giggles..

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