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Birdie
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 47
0 miles · Indiana
Forum
Seeker
Seeker
Cybering is a big waste of time. If I am going to get myself off I would think it a great annoyance to have someone typing away at me and asking me all kinds of stupid questions. That would be like trying to take a relaxing bubble bath with 5 screaming kids pounding on the door...JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!! LMAO
Besides, trying to masturbate with one hand and type with the other is just too distracting and I wouldnt want my keyboard getting all sticky. And as far as Im concerned, its in the flesh or not at all. (And no, thats not an invite!)
Besides, trying to masturbate with one hand and type with the other is just too distracting and I wouldnt want my keyboard getting all sticky. And as far as Im concerned, its in the flesh or not at all. (And no, thats not an invite!)
Seeker
Dear Diary,
Yesterday I went to pay my cable bill. When I handed the woman the correct amount of money for my monthly bill she proceeded to tell me that I was $80 dollars short. Upon seeing the confused/alarmed look on my face she continued...telling me that I still needed to pay for the pay-per-view movies that I ordered.
What?!? I have never ordered a pay-per-view movie in my entire life AND I have no plans to do so since I have cable (I asked for basic cable...they gave me 150 channels) and btw, never get to watch the damn tv anyway because the troll living on the couch will not surrender the remote 99% of the time.
So, with a big sneer on her face, she begins to rattle off the titles of said movies along with dates and times ordered (in front of two other customers, who were giggling the entire time) and my thoughts began to drift to the 7 people living in this house, mainly the three males who live in my house. There, in front of the lady behind the counter AND the two customers AND my daughter, I started the process of premeditating, out loud, and included my plans to line them all up and make a pretty little garden with three heads of cabbage sticking out.
When told there was nothing that could be done except for me coughing up the cash, I rushed home and began what could only be described as a massive, pms driven rampage to find the culprit and bury him in the back yard.
No one knows what happend. Huh...I have one person in this house who is up all night. One who stays up half the night, and one who is usually up at 3am and they all want me to believe that no one noticed three slutty cheerleaders being gang banged by Santa and 4 of his little elves being played for two solid hours on a BIG SCREEN TV!! That's odd....
I have grounded one of the guys of the house...hell, I grounded the neighbor kid (who thought that I didnt have the power to ground him--Boy, was he ever wrong.) Everyone else is afraid of me including the cable guy, who reversed the charges and turned off the pay-per-view feature on my tv...FOREVER.
I LOVE IT WHEN THINGS GO MY WAY.
Yesterday I went to pay my cable bill. When I handed the woman the correct amount of money for my monthly bill she proceeded to tell me that I was $80 dollars short. Upon seeing the confused/alarmed look on my face she continued...telling me that I still needed to pay for the pay-per-view movies that I ordered.
What?!? I have never ordered a pay-per-view movie in my entire life AND I have no plans to do so since I have cable (I asked for basic cable...they gave me 150 channels) and btw, never get to watch the damn tv anyway because the troll living on the couch will not surrender the remote 99% of the time.
So, with a big sneer on her face, she begins to rattle off the titles of said movies along with dates and times ordered (in front of two other customers, who were giggling the entire time) and my thoughts began to drift to the 7 people living in this house, mainly the three males who live in my house. There, in front of the lady behind the counter AND the two customers AND my daughter, I started the process of premeditating, out loud, and included my plans to line them all up and make a pretty little garden with three heads of cabbage sticking out.
When told there was nothing that could be done except for me coughing up the cash, I rushed home and began what could only be described as a massive, pms driven rampage to find the culprit and bury him in the back yard.
No one knows what happend. Huh...I have one person in this house who is up all night. One who stays up half the night, and one who is usually up at 3am and they all want me to believe that no one noticed three slutty cheerleaders being gang banged by Santa and 4 of his little elves being played for two solid hours on a BIG SCREEN TV!! That's odd....
I have grounded one of the guys of the house...hell, I grounded the neighbor kid (who thought that I didnt have the power to ground him--Boy, was he ever wrong.) Everyone else is afraid of me including the cable guy, who reversed the charges and turned off the pay-per-view feature on my tv...FOREVER.
I LOVE IT WHEN THINGS GO MY WAY.
Seeker
Fystee?!?!? Never thought I would see you in there!! 
Name: Fisty
Age: 25
State: Mississippi
Hobbies and Interests: I do protection in here and I also like to read and do some poetry. I have a job in the garden and I like that
it’s nice.
Convictions: , assault with a deadly weapon and again. Only takes three for life and threes a crowd.
View Profile
Name: Fisty
Age: 25
State: Mississippi
Hobbies and Interests: I do protection in here and I also like to read and do some poetry. I have a job in the garden and I like that
it’s nice.
Convictions: , assault with a deadly weapon and again. Only takes three for life and threes a crowd.
View Profile
Seeker
Today, I was ordering pizza online. When checking out, I was asked to describe my location. Amongst "House, apartment" etc, one of the choices was "Military Base". Needless to say, there is a man currently headed to a secret military base in a suburban neighborhood, to deliver a large pizza, with special instruction to duck and cover, avoiding the land mines. Never have I been more excited for food, ever. MLIA
Seeker
B double E double R U N, Beerrun!
B double E couble R U N, Beerrun....
all we need is a ten and a fiv-er,
a car and a key and a sober driver,
B double E double R U N, Beerrun.....
Great, now its gonna be stuck in my head for the rest of the week.
Every time I actually forget this song exists, someone else posts it...and I didnt even listen to it this time. LOL
Thanks WMM.
B double E couble R U N, Beerrun....
all we need is a ten and a fiv-er,
a car and a key and a sober driver,
B double E double R U N, Beerrun.....
Great, now its gonna be stuck in my head for the rest of the week.
Every time I actually forget this song exists, someone else posts it...and I didnt even listen to it this time. LOL
Thanks WMM.
Seeker
Quote by nicola
LOL. Isn't a member of your family into that Birdie, or am I thinking of the wrong person?
You thought right, Nic. And that brings me to another fear...a pic like that, of him, being found and posted in some strange thread like this. I love my brother but I could not handle a pic of that sort. *shivers*
