Alpha Blonde
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Dancing_Doll
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female
Forum
Alpha Blonde
Quote by tisox5
Okay Ladies I would love to get your advice on this.
I am fresh out of a relationship in which we were together for 3.5 years and 1 year of that we were married.
The relationship was sexless, and needless to say that is the first thing that I want to go out and do.
So..
my question is, when you are out at a bar, what types of things attract you, what do guys say to you that would make you want to go home with them, with the only intention being sleeping with them?
I've been out of the game for awhile and don't want to look like a fool when i go out and try to pick up women.
Any advice you can give would be helpful!!
Thanks!
Mike
If you're looking for no-strings sex in a bar, go for the drunkest girl that's still on the dancefloor at 2am, preferably one that doesn't have a protective mother-hen girlfriend watching over her and giving you the evil eye as you make your approach.
As far as what to say... to be honest if I was looking for a one-nighter fuckfest, I would base 80% of my decision on how hot he was with 20% going to confident approach and those subtle nuances and conversational openers that would make me think he would be good in bed. You don't want to come across as overly aggressive or desperate. You make your pitch and then assume that 'take it or leave it' kind of stance and then let her come to you. Of course that's assuming she's coherent enough to get conversation in...
If not, the old "hey, want to come back to my place for more drinks (drugs/hot-tub/movie-watching/food/hang-out or whatever else you think might make a decent lure)" is the best way to go. Once you get her leaving the bar with you, even under the pretence of something non-sexual, chances are HIGH you are going to get laid. A lot of girls feel slutty about going home with a guy for sex and like to "pretend" it's for something innocent until the very last minute, at which point she will deliver the requisite "I swear I never have one night stands or just go home with guys" speech while you nod agreeably and show you understand that she's really a good girl at heart no matter how dirty she acts that night.
Otherwise maybe try a site like AFF or AshleyMadison where 'attached' or married women are looking for some fun on the side. They will be looking for the ride, not the headaches.
Alpha Blonde
Let him buy the kinky outfits for you... If you give him free reign, you'll be amazed at what he really wants to see you in if you're really willing to indulge him... lol It's actually quite a bit of fun! I ended up with things I probably never would have picked on my own. 
Alpha Blonde
Quote by Mazza
I actually got fucked over one Christmas morning too...
I had been seeing this guy for a while (years and years ago) and he turned out to be a bit of a psycho. We split up (believe me, that took some doing, he was fucking tenacious) and he started behaving even more oddly than he had when we'd been together...
It had been a couple of months since we'd split and he was stalking me - it was quite scary - wherever I was, I'd see him in his car. One night I came out to my own car after work (in a nightclub) and my car was covered in roses. Then a few weeks later I came out to find the brake pipes on my car had mysteriously been severed.
I would go from the sitting room of my flat out into the hall and my letterbox would slam closed and I'd hear him running down the stairs...
Seriously, it was frightening.. I actually started getting people to come and stay with me as I was terrified of being alone...
It was a few months later and it all seemed to have calmed down. Christmas eve, I was working in the club and there had been this guy who'd been chatting me up for quite some time and we went back to my place for a little fun (I pretty much felt it was like a Christmas present to myself - I knew my Christmas would be quiet because my folks had recently moved abroad and I was all alone)
We had a fun night (lol), then, next morning, I heard a noise at my door. I went to see what it was and it was my crazy ex - he'd decided to come and make me a Christmas breakfast and was in the process of unscrewing the letterbox so that he could reach his hand through to unlock the door.
I told him to fuck off, but he wouldn't, so I called the police, but by the time they arrived, he'd actually kicked in my door, threw the eggs all over my hallway along with the other food, dragged my 'friend' out of bed, and given him a bit of a kicking.
I actually broke my phone, hitting him with it, trying to get him off this poor guy.
The police came and took him away and he got charged with breaking and entering and assault.
I was plagued with nightmares for years afterwards, and I'd still catch him, following me in his car sometimes.
The last time I saw him was about 11 or so years ago, I was with my husband and about 8 months pregnant and he drove past us at a shopping mall - again, I had nightmares for a while after...
Haven't seen him since, but I heard he knocked down and killed a kid.
I'd actually put this out of my memory until I read this thread - dunno if that is as bad as what you went through WMM, but I can honestly say it was the worst Christmas I ever had... *shudders* (kind of therapeutic writing about it, I've never done that before)
Don't you love how there are WAY more stories like this and yet they made Fatal Attraction about a woman?
What a horror story, Mazza... I have a relatable one of my own too. That's why restraining orders, pepper spray and 'friends' in organized crime are always good options to have on standby for these just-in-case scenarios.
Alpha Blonde
Quote by medicalguy
THANK YOU DOLL..IAM TALKING ABOUT HER ORGASM..CHEERS
Why would you want to delay her orgasm? Let her come and then come again, no? I've never stopped at just one if I'm having fun.
If she loses interest or energy after her first while on top, then just grab her hips and start thrusting upward and take over the work until she can 'recover' and get back into things.
Alpha Blonde
This looks like so much fun... another reason for guys to get their rhythm going. 
With such cutting-edge technology included in personal massagers for the first ever time, it’s a whole new way to play, where every move of the remote prompts a different response in the massager. This means limitless control over vibration patterns, with or without the dancing…
With such cutting-edge technology included in personal massagers for the first ever time, it’s a whole new way to play, where every move of the remote prompts a different response in the massager. This means limitless control over vibration patterns, with or without the dancing…
Alpha Blonde
Grip her hips with your hands and control and steer her movements in order to slow her down when she starts getting too intense.
You can also bring her to a temporary stop and light grind while you pull things back and have some lighter foreplay fun like biting her nipples, kissing or rubbing her clit and fingering her ass. That way she's still in a high pleasure zone and you're able to slow the intensity down so that you don't come too fast.
Obviously I assume you're talking about delaying your orgasm and not hers. If she comes once, she can come again during the same ride.
You can also bring her to a temporary stop and light grind while you pull things back and have some lighter foreplay fun like biting her nipples, kissing or rubbing her clit and fingering her ass. That way she's still in a high pleasure zone and you're able to slow the intensity down so that you don't come too fast.
Obviously I assume you're talking about delaying your orgasm and not hers. If she comes once, she can come again during the same ride.
Alpha Blonde
My fave drink totally depends on the situation.
Standard bar drink: vodka/soda with twist of lime
Fave overall drink: extra dirty vodka martini
Summer patio drink: Corona or Mojito
Favourite Splurge: quality rose champagne (pref. veuve or moet)
I usually stay away from super-sweet drinks, unless I'm poolside on a resort and even then I can only have a few before I'm feeling sugar/calorie overload.
Standard bar drink: vodka/soda with twist of lime
Fave overall drink: extra dirty vodka martini
Summer patio drink: Corona or Mojito
Favourite Splurge: quality rose champagne (pref. veuve or moet)
I usually stay away from super-sweet drinks, unless I'm poolside on a resort and even then I can only have a few before I'm feeling sugar/calorie overload.
Alpha Blonde
The way I see it, people come in three varieties: Dominant, Submissive or a Switch. These roles are applicable to all sexual orientations.
The idea that a guy is "less manly" or "possibly gay" unless he is 100% dominant all the time is kind of laughable to me. Unfortunately it also perpetuates a stereotype that inhibits a lot of guys from exploring their true sexual potential or even feeling comfortable enough to be open with their partners, even just to try something once to see what it's all about.
I guess I don't really translate dom/sub/switch beyond sexual role-play (unless you're in the BDSM lifestyle, which I'm not talking about here), so I wouldn't equate any of those things with how 'manly' they were. It's just a sexual preference/stance. You just try to find a partner that complements whatever you're about.
For me, I wouldn't have any issue with it, but I consider myself a switch (leaning more towards the sub side). My ideal has also always been a very dominant/alpha male but with a very open-minded kink level. I don't see it as anything to do with being 'manly'... just more kinky.
The idea that a guy is "less manly" or "possibly gay" unless he is 100% dominant all the time is kind of laughable to me. Unfortunately it also perpetuates a stereotype that inhibits a lot of guys from exploring their true sexual potential or even feeling comfortable enough to be open with their partners, even just to try something once to see what it's all about.
I guess I don't really translate dom/sub/switch beyond sexual role-play (unless you're in the BDSM lifestyle, which I'm not talking about here), so I wouldn't equate any of those things with how 'manly' they were. It's just a sexual preference/stance. You just try to find a partner that complements whatever you're about.
For me, I wouldn't have any issue with it, but I consider myself a switch (leaning more towards the sub side). My ideal has also always been a very dominant/alpha male but with a very open-minded kink level. I don't see it as anything to do with being 'manly'... just more kinky.
Alpha Blonde
I find that holidays in general run higher risks for getting fucked over than one would initially think.
1. It causes people to think about and re-evaluate their major relationships and if something isn't working, it gives them the itch to bail rather than fake the implications of spending the holidays together and/or involving their friends and family in meeting and forming deeper relationships with a boyfriend/girlfriend that isn't going to be sticking around for the long run.
2. If a person is playing two people at the same time, they have to pick only one to spend the holidays with and chuck the other, unless they can do some creative time-juggling. Telling someone who thinks you are exclusive with them that you're 'busy' at Christmas and New Years tends to raise red flags.
It does suck, but I think it's always a worse fate to be spending the holidays with someone that's noticeably faking it and mentally checked out of the relationship. That tends to fuck you up worse later when you have to start questioning everything. I would always prefer being told upfront every time.
1. It causes people to think about and re-evaluate their major relationships and if something isn't working, it gives them the itch to bail rather than fake the implications of spending the holidays together and/or involving their friends and family in meeting and forming deeper relationships with a boyfriend/girlfriend that isn't going to be sticking around for the long run.
2. If a person is playing two people at the same time, they have to pick only one to spend the holidays with and chuck the other, unless they can do some creative time-juggling. Telling someone who thinks you are exclusive with them that you're 'busy' at Christmas and New Years tends to raise red flags.
It does suck, but I think it's always a worse fate to be spending the holidays with someone that's noticeably faking it and mentally checked out of the relationship. That tends to fuck you up worse later when you have to start questioning everything. I would always prefer being told upfront every time.
Alpha Blonde
Your breast hurt for three days afterward? Who was this guy with the lethal elbows? Were you at a UFC after-party or something? 
Depending on the kind of bar, misplaced elbows, rubs, bumps and squashed toes will happen when you are crushed up against the bar at a loud, crowded nightclub clamouring for the bartender's attention when there are already three lines deep behind you just waiting to do the same thing. The key is to get guys to buy the drinks at the bar while you wait safely off to the side. If you're doing it on your own, then it's just part of "stuff that happens at the club". I just elbow back or ignore it.
Depending on the kind of bar, misplaced elbows, rubs, bumps and squashed toes will happen when you are crushed up against the bar at a loud, crowded nightclub clamouring for the bartender's attention when there are already three lines deep behind you just waiting to do the same thing. The key is to get guys to buy the drinks at the bar while you wait safely off to the side. If you're doing it on your own, then it's just part of "stuff that happens at the club". I just elbow back or ignore it.
Alpha Blonde
Usually hell has to freeze over before I make the list and I haven't felt that chill in a long while. 
I don't have any strong feelings either way about keeping it or nuking it.
But... this thread was started in 2009, so not sure it's technically still up for debate, but it's interesting to get people's opinions, as always.
I don't have any strong feelings either way about keeping it or nuking it.
But... this thread was started in 2009, so not sure it's technically still up for debate, but it's interesting to get people's opinions, as always.
Alpha Blonde
Many girls have darker skin tone over the pussy lips/vulva area, especially if they have an olive-to-dark complexion naturally. The bubblegum pink pussies you see in porn are often a result of bleaching, unless the girl is very fair-skinned. It's just skin colour though... nothing to freak out about. If she tans the rest of her body it will probably help blend the colour and not make it as noticeable.
If she smells funky and showers regularly (ie. hygiene is good), then she might need to take a quick trip to the doctor just to make sure she doesn't have a bacterial infection like vaginosis which can cause a fishy odour.
If she smells funky and showers regularly (ie. hygiene is good), then she might need to take a quick trip to the doctor just to make sure she doesn't have a bacterial infection like vaginosis which can cause a fishy odour.
Alpha Blonde
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all... 
Hope the girls get their stockings stuffed and the boys get their eggnog spilled!
Ashleigh xo
Hope the girls get their stockings stuffed and the boys get their eggnog spilled!
Ashleigh xo
Alpha Blonde
Haha... thanks everyone... Maybe I should start writing that book of tips and tricks. Hmm...
I've tried it a few times. It's called 'numbing balm' but really it's a stimulant that sets the clit on fire but in a good way (almost like menthol). It definitely makes you squirm, but if you do that and use a glass dildo or ice-cubes right after then it's really intense. You could get a similar effect using fresh ginger juice on the clit but that causes more of a thrashing response than squirming. LOL. Or at least it did to me. Use both very sparingly. The good news is that any of these stimulants will subside 'reasonably quickly' and if the sensation is too intense at the peak, as it subsides it will feel amazing.
One other quick fun thing to try if you like being tied up. A lot of people just focus on tying the person to the bed or in some position where they are laying down. Try putting a screw into the wall at the right height for your partner (you can always cover it up with a framed photo later) and tie her wrists together so that her hands are raised above her head and the binding rope/scarf is hung off the screw so that her feet can still just touch the ground Then blindfold her. This works best if you are a dominant guy, running your hand up between her thighs, growling dirty things into her ear while you tease, and have your way with her. If you push a cum-cube up inside her while her panties are still on, it will melt and soak them and start running down her thighs while you tell her what a dirty girl she is etc. The sensation of 'standing up' while being helpless is kind of exciting, and of course if the rope is well attached to the screw you can always turn her around so that her face is pressed against the wall and uhm... I'm sure you get where I'm going... lol
Quote by playsit
Here's a question for you DD: Why would I use numbing balm on her clit? Seems like that would be counterproductive.
I've tried it a few times. It's called 'numbing balm' but really it's a stimulant that sets the clit on fire but in a good way (almost like menthol). It definitely makes you squirm, but if you do that and use a glass dildo or ice-cubes right after then it's really intense. You could get a similar effect using fresh ginger juice on the clit but that causes more of a thrashing response than squirming. LOL. Or at least it did to me. Use both very sparingly. The good news is that any of these stimulants will subside 'reasonably quickly' and if the sensation is too intense at the peak, as it subsides it will feel amazing.
One other quick fun thing to try if you like being tied up. A lot of people just focus on tying the person to the bed or in some position where they are laying down. Try putting a screw into the wall at the right height for your partner (you can always cover it up with a framed photo later) and tie her wrists together so that her hands are raised above her head and the binding rope/scarf is hung off the screw so that her feet can still just touch the ground Then blindfold her. This works best if you are a dominant guy, running your hand up between her thighs, growling dirty things into her ear while you tease, and have your way with her. If you push a cum-cube up inside her while her panties are still on, it will melt and soak them and start running down her thighs while you tell her what a dirty girl she is etc. The sensation of 'standing up' while being helpless is kind of exciting, and of course if the rope is well attached to the screw you can always turn her around so that her face is pressed against the wall and uhm... I'm sure you get where I'm going... lol
Alpha Blonde
You could use numbing balm on the clit or candlewax on the nipples.
Tying her up while being blindfolded is another great option. You can buy chinese silk ropes that feel very sensual against the skin and are also easy to untie later.
Take a silk scarf and slide it in between her wet engorged pussy lips, alternating unexpectedly between soft and rough play. This will stimulate her clit and the fabric will feel delicious.
Buy a glass dildo and put it in the freezer first. Start by sliding down between her breasts, over her belly and then into her pussy. Then start fingering her ass while you do this and eventually slide the frozen dildo into her ass, while simultaneously being trailed by a hot tongue (start at the collar bone and work your way down to her pussy). You can also vary the intensity by doing some firm pussy slaps.
You could always try "figging" with ginger, but depends on how intense she likes it.
If you want to get a little more kinky you could always pre-freeze your cum into little ice-cubes and have her suck on them while she's blindfolded and you play with her. That way it's melting in her mouth and maybe running down her chin while she gasps at everything you're doing, keeping the taste of hot sex in her mouth.
Run your hands through her hair and firmly grasp a handful at the base of her neck and give a couple of tight little tugs while delivering soft-to-firm bites on her nipples and neck. Don't be afraid to give the playtime a sense of urgency and intensity instead of just sensual/soft touches.
Tying her up while being blindfolded is another great option. You can buy chinese silk ropes that feel very sensual against the skin and are also easy to untie later.
Take a silk scarf and slide it in between her wet engorged pussy lips, alternating unexpectedly between soft and rough play. This will stimulate her clit and the fabric will feel delicious.
Buy a glass dildo and put it in the freezer first. Start by sliding down between her breasts, over her belly and then into her pussy. Then start fingering her ass while you do this and eventually slide the frozen dildo into her ass, while simultaneously being trailed by a hot tongue (start at the collar bone and work your way down to her pussy). You can also vary the intensity by doing some firm pussy slaps.
You could always try "figging" with ginger, but depends on how intense she likes it.
If you want to get a little more kinky you could always pre-freeze your cum into little ice-cubes and have her suck on them while she's blindfolded and you play with her. That way it's melting in her mouth and maybe running down her chin while she gasps at everything you're doing, keeping the taste of hot sex in her mouth.
Run your hands through her hair and firmly grasp a handful at the base of her neck and give a couple of tight little tugs while delivering soft-to-firm bites on her nipples and neck. Don't be afraid to give the playtime a sense of urgency and intensity instead of just sensual/soft touches.
Alpha Blonde
Yes, and I think it was a pre-requisite in my early years... 
I think I was naturally drawn to risky situations. In some ways it heightened the excitement and fulfilled my inner drama queen.
There were far more "people I shouldn't have" versus just normal dating situations, although in the last couple of years I have become way more sensible.
Well.... most of the time anyway. I do have an inner rumbling to go for that 'wildcard' on rare occasion but I try to keep it in check.
I think I was naturally drawn to risky situations. In some ways it heightened the excitement and fulfilled my inner drama queen.
There were far more "people I shouldn't have" versus just normal dating situations, although in the last couple of years I have become way more sensible.
Well.... most of the time anyway. I do have an inner rumbling to go for that 'wildcard' on rare occasion but I try to keep it in check.
Alpha Blonde
Quote by Dudealicious
I agree Doll, however my post was in reference to another posted here, as I hope I have referenced. Yes Men (and Women) do some terrible things, however I am never sure that swings your definitive sexuality (in my opinion)
Yeah, I agree with what you're saying.
In the case of my friend is was a "criminally" terrible thing if you know what I mean.
I don't think you can swing definitive sexuality if you are only interested in one sex. When shit happens you just deal with it and hope for the best with the next person of that same gender.
But you can use different labels at various points in life if your sexuality is fluid and flexible from the start (ie. bisexual).
If you are technically bisexual but your committed long-term partner is of the same sex, you're probably just going to identify as gay or lesbian within certain communities. I could be wrong on that one, but that's probably what I would do if I chose to have a permanent relationship with a woman.
Alpha Blonde
Quote by Dudealicious
Really? So Women in your circles have "become" Lesbians due to mistreatmennt by guys...That goes against everything I have ever known...I thought it was in out DNA, what the hell do I know!?
Kisses!
Dude
I don't think it's that these girls "become" Lesbians because of men. I just think it's a bisexual girl that ends up turning to a full-time relationship with a woman and thereby technically identifying herself as a 'lesbian' in the community just based on outward appearances.
I had a friend like this that decided she only wanted to be with a woman after a traumatic experience with a man. She had a girlfriend for a for a few years. But then she went back to guys and got married last year.
I think if you're bisexual, you often decide to identify as lesbian or gay if your primary relationship is with a same-sex partner. But that doesn't mean it's a permanent or exclusive choice. ie. look at Anne Hecht.
Women that have chosen to never be with men and identified as lesbian from the start are (in my experience anyway) pretty 'chill' when it comes to having guy friends etc.
Alpha Blonde
Reaching for tissues...
This was just the sweetest and most beautiful thing I've ever read. Something really worth saving and committing to memory.
Truly a precious kind of gift.
Thank you. XO
This was just the sweetest and most beautiful thing I've ever read. Something really worth saving and committing to memory.
Truly a precious kind of gift.
Thank you. XO
Alpha Blonde
Hmm... do you have access to some ginger in the kitchen?
Kidding... that might be a bit too kinky if you're in a new relationship.
I would go with dirty talk, telling him what you want him to do to you (you may want to think up an interesting scenario ahead of time if you're not used to dirty talk), while slowly undressing and using your body as a show-and-tell as you get to each descriptive stage of the kinky tell-all. Be slow and sensual about it... run your fingers down the curve of the inside of your hip telling him you wish his tongue was trailing over your skin just like that.
Then you might want to have some toys on-hand to use as well for when things get dirtier. I'd use a glass dildo if you can. They show up nicely on camera and look sexier than the typical vibrator/dildo. Then you can also suck on it in between varying the penetration styles and positions which is extremely sexy to watch if you go slow and use your tongue and lips well. Let him take in the view from the front and then turn so he can watch the dildo sliding in and out from behind. Take your time and don't rush.
And have a drink or two beforehand so you're relaxed and feeling the vibe.
I'd start with that and then graduate to kinkier sessions later.
Kidding... that might be a bit too kinky if you're in a new relationship.
I would go with dirty talk, telling him what you want him to do to you (you may want to think up an interesting scenario ahead of time if you're not used to dirty talk), while slowly undressing and using your body as a show-and-tell as you get to each descriptive stage of the kinky tell-all. Be slow and sensual about it... run your fingers down the curve of the inside of your hip telling him you wish his tongue was trailing over your skin just like that.
Then you might want to have some toys on-hand to use as well for when things get dirtier. I'd use a glass dildo if you can. They show up nicely on camera and look sexier than the typical vibrator/dildo. Then you can also suck on it in between varying the penetration styles and positions which is extremely sexy to watch if you go slow and use your tongue and lips well. Let him take in the view from the front and then turn so he can watch the dildo sliding in and out from behind. Take your time and don't rush.
And have a drink or two beforehand so you're relaxed and feeling the vibe.
I'd start with that and then graduate to kinkier sessions later.
Alpha Blonde
Nope. It's not worth the funky tan lines... I'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to tanning.
Alpha Blonde
I just did it at Hallowe'en but it was a charity runway thing and was painted by an artist at the location of the event. I had loose coverup clothes to get home in afterwards though.
I wouldn't walk the street in just bodypaint... hmm... unless maybe I was really drunk or high.
I'm actually not a huge fan of wearing bodypaint. Plus it took me forever to get my shower clean.
I wouldn't walk the street in just bodypaint... hmm... unless maybe I was really drunk or high.
I'm actually not a huge fan of wearing bodypaint. Plus it took me forever to get my shower clean.