With my secret puppet shadow permanently in the memory trunk, Succubus securely trussed, I devoted myself, as promised on my wedding day, to husband and family, those betrayed for so long. Life has turning points, transitions, milestones. Call them what y...
In my school years, friends drifted in and out. Fickle fate granted a lifelong few. Afterward, they were temporarily shipmates to a common port of call. Unloaded, we embark to our different shores. I was blessed with a lifelong friend, Julie. We met in...
My time with the Captain built more self-esteem than confessing to an angel for forgiveness. I told Gabriel there was nothing wrong with him. Now, I told myself there was nothing wrong with me. The truth was different. It was a memorial that caused anothe...
After my confession to Gabriel, the only star’s gravitation that pulled my life’s orbit was family. The kids married, got jobs, bought houses and blessed me with grandchildren. For seven years hubby and I traveled, not just to the San Francisco Bay Area,...
After the burdens of learning family heritage truths, William's abandonment and Paul's debasement, it took time to put my shattered self-image back together. Often, I would break down and cry. Instead of being gregarious, I became reclusive. Seeing me so,...
After William rushed to cuddle his true love, his abandonment of me to fend for myself, my being trapped behind her car, his ignoring me as he moved her Mercedes, the caught in the act event slowly boiled into an identity crisis which swept over my percep...
The next week, just before Tuesday noon, as usual, I arrived at William's for our ritual romp with a view but also to see his finished deck. Crossing the Narrows Bridge, I reflected on how it once collapsed in a wind storm, an ominous premonition. Am I be...
Sailing with William was limited due to our schedules and sailing weather requirements. While we sailed again, there was no more boat sex, it was just too complicated. William knew the Puget Sound and enjoyed showing its nuances as Edward once did with th...
Parked in an Alameda Avenue bus stop, mind retching turned to dry heaves then sighs. I finally composed myself, restarted the car and drove back on the Alameda just as a bus arrived in my rear-view mirror to claim its space where I’d trespassed. The purpo...
Sunday morning, arising early at the Sainte Clare Hotel where I always stayed when visiting San Jose, I was tempted to drive by our former house and Edward's apartment before visiting Mom. Instead, I drove to Alviso, to seek again its mystical connection...
After Elliot, I snuggled back with my husband, spent more time in the office but by 1990, three years after Elliot, on turning forty, I rebelled against being a middle-aged woman.The children in college no longer needed my cinnamon rolls. I was their past...
I expected Elliot's interest to wane once he added me to his "seduced list" but the opposite occurred. He pestered to see me; said he’d never met anyone like me. I asked how many he’d "met”. He didn’t reply. With the cherry blossom relationship setting to...
With Vixen sated by hubby, my heart and mind cleared. I was ashamed for flirting with Elliot but pleased to escape the snare of his bachelor pad. I drove past the golf course without glancing toward it again and again. Elliot didn’t perk up in my mind exc...
By the summer of 1985, most of my new, higher-income friends were conservative, middle-aged women with children, like myself, plus a group of older women who, like me, enjoyed cooking. From cooking, they got me to play cards and eventually dragged me on t...
Erica's blabbing about our country-western bar hop with Thumper transformed “A-T” to "Now Now" and into an “Affairs Circle” star. A trophy ring quest among the members ensued. It was notoriety I didn’t relish. Outsider’s gossip about members would eventua...
