Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
GardenerGuy
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 61

Forum

If a spider skitters by my head on the pillow (or somewhere else "very close" and "very suddenly") and especially if it's fucking huge, then my right ear drum will start doing this weird fluttering action that sounds, in my head, like it's purring. Freaky, fucked reaction lol.

tpbm - has never tried wii.
Quote by curious3045



ah yes, the shlong-pole sling.

talk about quality control at a dildo factory!


the inventor also came up with teledildonics (an honest-to-god real thing!):


Granted, but she insists on bringing along Nicholas Cage and Carol Channing.

I wish all the techtonic plates would stop shifting altogether.
Quote by seeker4
TPBM believes in true, lasting love.


have yet to really truly legitimately experience it (at least I THINK lol), but who knows what the future holds in store, eh?


Quote by nawtygirl


TPBM is scratching an itch that needs scratching.


I am 6000% itch free

tpbm

prefers (tolerates?) the aroma of cigar over cigarette smke
Quote by Mazza


And a wee dilemma for you, GG...





hmmm..........I couldn't just, lop them in half and rejoin the human ones?

guess I'll have to go with the mermaid. I don't know if I could wake up to that fish face every morning.


TENNIS TUESDAY?










go Venus!
actually.....talking about chopping things up - maybe join the top of Serena and the bottom of Venus? Now THAT'S the ticket.


What you would have asked:

Do you TOTALLY rule?

Well, I believe I do.....

Do you truly despise someone but don't have it in you to directly make them aware of it?
MERMAID MONDAYS?





I guess technically a dude mermaid is a merman apparently, so.....
in my dual-capacity orgone accumulator.

have you ever tried to blow a condom up like a balloon?
Granted, but you become so neutral and poker-faced, almost somber, monotonal, just like Dr. Armond:





I wish my legs could stretch to twice their length, at will.
ah yes - what vegetarians call the dreaded "gateway meat". This omnivore likes it but doesn't have it too often. (in a fresh B.L.T. - mmmmmmm!)

tpbm -

doesn't like the musty, dusty smell of fresh rain on concrete.
Quote by kiera


ditto big time.
first year I won't be able to personally wish it, but to all others indeed. smile
Granted, but now you spend too much time trapseing through open meadows, playing the lyre.

or one of those fucking zithers.

no - ok - a pan flute (wow I'd put a fucking contract out on Zamphir)


I wish I could arrange to have the recording artist Zamphir garroted.
****A FUCKING WARNING****

Stresses the pre-eminence of Hegelian positivism over the more de rigeur Situationist approach taken by latent deconstructionists like Derrida and Foucault.


I hope I've made myself, like, REALLY clear on this.
Quote by Wardog
Where would you live if you could pick any place on earth?


Where I am. smile

Quote by cgorham71
How much is enough


Well, after talking to Dick van Patten about this topic a long time ago, I'll have to go with eight.


Do you prefer watching basketball over baseball?
Granted, but the gym owner was so disappointed at your no-show that he gave your membership to someone else.

I wish I could train a cat to do my taxes.