He took the key and he hid it
For it's stated in holy writ
The priest in her parish was shocked
At the audacious plan she'd concoct
His willy got hard
His vows to discard
The priest in her parish was shocked
At the audacious plan she'd concoct
A lovely young lady called Kitty
Paid a visit to Vatican City
She dressed as a nun
Intending some fun
A cutie from Hell drove a Hellcat
And drove quite like a hellish bat
Her hand on the stick
A good day for staying in bed
Is Thursday thru Tuesday and Wed
Fun to be had
A pretty young thing from Cornwall
Her pride never came before a fall
Though proud she was
She stayed upright because
bending over would be her downfall
President for life, Xi Jinping
A horny young lad from Wales
Given to telling tall tales
Not much considered demented
Not many ever repented
Some got vacations
For the oversexed fans of Lush
There’s little that will make them blush
Each niche represented
Leaves pants damp or tented
Heart beating, labored breathing, and flushed.
Not much considered demented
Lieutenant Dan would say “Wow!”
Others would say ‘holy cow!’
They caught lots of shrimp
"But I'm still fucking limp"
If they remade the film Forest Gump
Jenny would take care of his lump
And just like forlorn Ophelia
Floating off is a sea of lobelia
Hamlet freaked out
His words were much better as prose
Carnal interests much easier to compose
The Bard had a helluva time
At finding a really good rhyme
He'd stroke his peter
with anapestic meter
he giggles as she reconsiders
Her laugh a series or twitters
It’s just at the pitch
To make a girls twitch
And dampen the crotch of her knickers
The Bard had a helluva time
A gal with a box full of toys
Brought many a lover joys
Electric or veggie
A comfortable bed is a joy
For every bad girl and boy
Firmer the better
But one day Jon ran into Jack
Bumping into him from the back
Not one to shy
Jon from London liked to walk around nude
-quite common there, this turpitude
A contortionist extraordinaire
Jenny could point it most anywhere
Up, down, left or right
Moves intended to incite
A contortionist extraordinaire
Jenny could point it most anywhere
A supple young lady named Penny
Bent over backwards for many
Grabbing her ankles and spreading
No time for bedding
There once was a Bishop in Trenton
Who a choirboys ass was intent on
He lurked in the shadows
A lady named Alice from Dallas
Rubbed her clit until callous
Her fingers did wrinkle
So he gave her a tingle
But not a phallus in Dallas fit Alice
There once was a Bishop in Trenton
A brazen young chica from Aragon
Of virtue was hardly a paragon
Quite free with both genders
No time for pretenders
Would do anyone who turned her on
A lady named Alice from Dallas
A brazen young chica from Aragón
Of virtue was hardly a paragon
A tart on the Liverpool docks
Had a magnificent way with cocks
A chap with a penchant for cider
Had a girl who wasn’t a fighter
He needed assistance
An eager young virgin called Kate
Awaiting her sexual fate.
