A crazy old man with one arm
Went bankrupt on his dairy farm
An udder disaster
A young man with one giant ball
Exposed himself in the Town Hall
The mayor was aghast
I dance like old Fred Astaire
Which causes some people to stare
Moves so flowing
A pretty young gal from South Lake
Produced orgasms that were fake
She could fool the boys
The North has a monster called Bigfoot
With balls the size of a shot put
Huge feet and hands too
And the saying so true
The North has a monster called Bigfoot
With balls the size of a shot put
And thus a legend was born
A serpent with two humps to adorn
Pictures so blurry
Is it scales or furry
And thus a legend was born
A serpent with two humps to adorn
A voluptuous maiden called Bess
Threw her bra overboard in Loch Ness
Cups-up it floated
Onlookers exploded
Her stories would curl your toes
Just about everything goes
Drops her nicks in a flash
Lucy went to church every day
In confession she had much to say
In the box for hours
While the priest glowers:
"you're going to hell, anyway."
Her stories would curl your toes
Lucy went to church every day
In confession she had much to say
In the box for hours
There once was a Nubian beauty
Who had a magnificent booty
She'd flaunt it with style
Leave many a smile
And the assembled crowd most unruly
Lucy went to church every day
There once was a Nubian beauty
Who had a magnificent booty
She'd flaunt it with style
There was a grand master of chess
When he won, would loudly shout "YES!"
He'd fondle his rook
Give a sensual look
And on the board he'd make quite a mess.
There once was a Nubian beauty
There was a grand master of chess
When he won, would loudly shout "YES!"
He'd fondle his rook
He reach the peak, she yelled but not his name
"I'd better cum or you're to blame"
H e asked "Who's Joe?
She said "Biden, you know.
But he does need some help with his aim."
There was a grand master of chess
He reach the peak, she yelled but not his name
"I'd better cum or you're to blame"
They traveled back home by back roads
And shared some epic episodes
Sex in strange places
A man from east of the bay
Took his lady to see Santa Fe
Needing some luck
The Easter bunny needed a honey
Laying eggs was easy money
He'd huff and then push
Candy out of his tush
Oddly enough, it's quite yummy
A man from east of the bay
The Easter bunny needed a honey
Laying eggs was easy money
The girls in their cute Easter dresses
Flaunting their ringlets and tresses
Demure and discreet
In Italy they practice amore
But their men are hopeless at foreplay
Neither tongue nor toy
A nasty old woman from the East
Wanted a few men, at least
In her bed every night
To help with her plight
Mary oh Mary, he moaned and lamented
As his thrusting drove her quite demented
Your old cunt is too loose
You think I'm a moose
A one-legged veteran complained
That his "woody" could not be sustained
"When I let go of my crutch,
my dick won't hold much."
A one-legged veteran complained
That his "woody" could not be sustained
They sailed for a friendly port
Seeking cures for his genital warts.
He called it 'ribbed for her pleasure'
As it scraped the sides of her treasure
They sailed for a friendly port
Seeking cures for his genital warts.
