young Irish tart named Horrigan
Has a best friend called sexy Morgan
Though she tried to deny
When caught by a spy
Her guidance was never a waste
Her disciple developed a taste
For acts that were carnal
And somewhat abnormal
A woman from Dubuque seeking thrills
Taught Gloria her oral skills
Not talking about speech
Or eating a peach
But of frills and confirm nothing spills
Her guidance was never a waste
A lady from Spain, most notorious
Had tits that were quite glorious
When she danced they would jiggle
Made others all wiggle
Damp spot on the chairs deemed victorious
A woman from Dubuque seeking thrills
A lady from Spain, most notorious
Had tits that were quite glorious
When she danced they would jiggle
She also had fingers quite long
She’d insert them where they belong
She'd diddle with any
Be it outty or inny
But wish she'd not finish with a song
A lady from Spain, most notorious
She also had fingers quite long
She’d insert them where they belong
She'd diddle with any
A mousy young girl with brown hair
Had talents beyond compare
Her tongue was a sight
Could solve any girl's plight
A mousy young girl with brown hair
Had talents beyond compare
A sweet little French ingenue
Coyly nods when asked "Voulez vous?"
"foutre le camp," she replied
A sassy young hussy named Sue
Skilled at a fetish from Peru
It involves a llama
And a large banana
A sassy young hussy named Sue
Skilled at a fetish from Peru
It's spring and our thoughts turn to passion
Everyone wearing their best fashion
Everything’s in bloom
Best thing from cotton loom
Each to their own satisfaction
There once was a coed from Duke
One young man quite fancied her
She told him 'Oui, oui, monsieur"
He wasted no time
Before ringing her chime
Consummation entirely a blur
The archbishop of Milan was quite wary
One young man quite fancied her
She told him 'Oui, oui, monsieur"
He wasted no time
A shapely young girl from Bayonne
Was always in search of a "bone"
Long or short
but free of warts
A crusty curmudgeon from Cornwall
Was born with just one giant ball
He’s very proud of it
Though it's tricky to sit
But walking was toughest of all
A shapely young girl from Bayonne
A horny old lady from Maine
Shyness she would often feign
But once she got going
She stopped all the joking
Causing many a lover some chest pain
A crusty curmudgeon from Cornwall
A horny old lady from Maine
Shyness she would often feign
But once she got going
A man once thought he was clever
Many women at once he'd endeavor
But soon it backfired
He got way too tired
His lever would never again pleasure
A horny old lady from Maine
A man once thought he was clever
Many women at once he'd endeavor
Six months later she had twins
Now paying twice for her sins
When asked she was coy
Evasive smile she would employ
Six months later she had twins
Now paying twice for her sins
As the bride walked down the aisle
She stopped and pondered awhile
It just didn't seem right
To be in virginal white
A lovely young lady next door
Led a secret life as a whore
She liked to get laid
And then to get paid
Before entertaining an encore
As the bride walked down the aisle
A gorgeous lass from Hillside with fringe
Known to engage in a sexual binge
Invited five men
But ended with ten
More than three at a time she'd cringe
A lovely young lady next door
A gorgeous lass from Hillside with fringe
Known to engage in a sexual binge
No, wait. That was Alice's queen.
Are you sure, it was her, have you seen?
It was not the Mad Hatter
But what did it matter?
It's known that the women of South Bend
Like taking up either end
Compliant are they
It's known that the women of South Bend
Mary was a thorn in her side
Always wanting to go for a ride
Elizabeth was pissed
