There once was a girl from Nantucket
If it was long and hard she would fuck it
She said with a smirk
A mädchen who lived in Berlin
Had a thing for a guy named Merlin
She liked being on top
And go hippity hop
On his schnitzel she liked to spin
There once was a girl from Nantucket
A mädchen who lived in Berlin
Had a thing for a guy named Merlin
She liked being on top
They say it's better to give than receive
That's a con for the dim and naive.
To really succeed
To fill everyone's need
It would be right to give into greed.
A mädchen who lived in Berlin
They say it's better to give than receive
That's a con for the dim and naive.
To really succeed
A handsome young lad said he was bi
First attempt but he's willing to try
He lubed up his ass
Awaiting the tumid mass
Attached to her collar of gold
A little tag that said "sold"
When led on her knees
There once was a school girl from Leeds
Who had some very specific needs
Her vagina would quiver
And flow like a river
When her mistress brought out the leads
Attached to her collar of gold
There once was a school girl from Leeds
Who had some very specific needs
Her vagina would quiver
Marie grew increasingly frantic
His penis was fucking gigantic
Long and thick
She lubed it up quick
Not bothering with anything tantric
There once was a school girl from Leeds
Christine uses fingers and thumb
Kept rubbing until she was numb
Christine was very frustrated
Her passion never was sated
She looked high and low
For that sweet afterglow
The farm girl could live on molasses
She drank it from sixteen-ounce glasses
She tasted quite sweet
The concupiscent Duchess of Leeds
Had an unusual use for her beads
Instead of Hail Marys
She lingers and tarries
Using them for all carnal needs
A schoolgirl from nearby Ft. Wayne
The concupiscent Duchess of Leeds
Had an unusual use for her beads
Instead of Hail Marys
A devious lecher called Jack
Had a very peculiar knack
With his tongue he was fast
Letting none get past
While he fingered the back of her crack
The concupiscent Duchess of Leeds
Terri was no longer young
But she had an experienced tongue
Her agility gone
A limber young man named Dan
Whose dick had the girth of a can
He could give it a lick
But was so damn thick
A limber young man named Dan
Whose dick had the girth of a can
A bow-legged nympho named Janet
Wandered around the planet
She liked to ride horses
A gamer who handled his joystick
had a hand that was quite often slick
With interactive porn
A new hobby was born
I'm eagerly awaiting St. Nick
At the stroke of the midnight tick
Known for his yule log
And his famous egg nog
Overall, a pretty good schtick
A gamer who handled his joystick
I'm eagerly awaiting St. Nick
At the stroke of the midnight tick
Known for his yule log
When Lynn's party's eventually here
With lots of wine and plenty of beer
Relaxed inhibitions
Cas and Gloria played tag
With some lucky guy who was stag
But he couldn't decide
Who best to ride
dicalguy drew straws to see who to shag
a sweet little filly from Philly
Mary was born with six fingers and toes
Fisting would leave someone quite comatose
Even five fingers weren't easy
But a few manage quite peachy
Mary was born with six fingers and toes
Fisting would leave someone quite comatose
Some people tell tales so tall
Sooner or later they're bound to fall
The rest will turn their backs
Or give them the axe
Some people tell tales so tall
Sooner or later they're bound to fall
here once was a boy from East Farley
Whose phallic extension a Harley
Rode all the long day
In the vain hope to sway
