Quote by castlequeen
I did once, but that was only because I'm really ticklish and I told him to stop but did he listen? Noooo.....
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Jingle
Over 90 days ago
Bi-curious Female, 43
Canada
Forum
Active Ink Slinger
omg....
Just omg.
Name: Daryl
My name is Daryl. I am 17, but will be turning 18 in September. I figure by the time we get to know each other I will be legal tender and we can marry. My parents are kicking me out after December and I'd like to meet a woman with a lot of money so we can have fun. I like women between 18-45, but would consider older if we don't have to touch a lot.
Just omg.
Active Ink Slinger
I think you're over-thinking this. Let her manage her own friendships, and stop second guessing everything. It's possible she'll see your reaction to this as jealous and possessive. If she's the type to play around, let her go. Drama like that works best on daytime tv, not in real life.
ps. loved the poem, Dirty
ps. loved the poem, Dirty
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by clum
A restaurant-goer may know the soup is not good but may not be able to tell the chef how it could be improved.
I find in cases like that, where I know something is wrong but I can't tell you what it is, it's best to point it out anyways with a statement like 'something about this didn't feel right'. It's left up to the author to find out why - maybe it will trigger something and they'll notice something about that particular place in the writing that isn't quite working.
I really wish people would give me constructive comments on my stories. I promise I won't blow up. ;) Hell, any constructive criticism is better than my own inner critic. What I honestly want is to give people what they want to read, and I can't do that if they don't tell me what they want to read.
In conversation I like cooter and hoo-ha.
Active Ink Slinger
Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves,
You're going to smile when you think of this:
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was
Nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his
Gloves.
'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked.
'No, I don't,' she replied.
'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a
big tank
Of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in
Their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them
Into boxes of the right size.'
She didn't crack a smile.
'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure,
She burst out laughing.
'What's so funny?' he asked
'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'
Gotta watch those little old ladies!
Their minds are always Working!
You're going to smile when you think of this:
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was
Nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his
Gloves.
'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked.
'No, I don't,' she replied.
'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a
big tank
Of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in
Their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them
Into boxes of the right size.'
She didn't crack a smile.
'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure,
She burst out laughing.
'What's so funny?' he asked
'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'
Gotta watch those little old ladies!
Their minds are always Working!
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by chefkathleen
When they first started body painting I heard they had people almost die. Perhaps it was from Gold Finger?
The paint closes all of the bodies pores and you suffocate, I think it is.
I've heard that too, and how they'd leave a patch unpainted somewhere on the dancer's bodies.
Those guys don't even look the least bit embarrassed to be caught paint-faced...
Active Ink Slinger
My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said,
'This will make you happy tonight.'
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom,
I squirted it all over the doorknobs.
He couldn't get back in.
~~~---
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
During a recent lovemaking session,
'How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?'
She glanced at him and replied, 'You're never home!'
~~~---
A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
'I've got a big problem, doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes,
He lets out this ear splitting yell.'
'My dear,' the shrink said, 'that's completely natural.
I don't see what the problem is.'
'The problem is,' she complained, 'it wakes me up!'
'This will make you happy tonight.'
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom,
I squirted it all over the doorknobs.
He couldn't get back in.
~~~---
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
During a recent lovemaking session,
'How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?'
She glanced at him and replied, 'You're never home!'
~~~---
A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
'I've got a big problem, doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes,
He lets out this ear splitting yell.'
'My dear,' the shrink said, 'that's completely natural.
I don't see what the problem is.'
'The problem is,' she complained, 'it wakes me up!'
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by rockstar81
It's really vague but these tips might be a starting point...
ask specific questions
be a good listner
appeal to her mind and heart before touching her body
touch, kiss, lick, suck, bite, play with her the way you'd like to be touched, if that doesn't work try going softer
don't forget, a set of hips is part of your anatomy, learn to move them (dance lessons help)
read up. get a book some are really fun
those are suggestions off the top of my head... good luck.
/likes all of these suggestions
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by rockstar81
It's really vague but these tips might be a starting point...
ask specific questions
be a good listner
appeal to her mind and heart before touching her body
touch, kiss, lick, suck, bite, play with her the way you'd like to be touched, if that doesn't work try going softer
don't forget, a set of hips is part of your anatomy, learn to move them (dance lessons help)
read up. get a book some are really fun
those are suggestions off the top of my head... good luck.
/likes all of these suggestions
Active Ink Slinger
Paying close attention to your partner's reactions helps. If something gets you a good reaction, keep doing it. If it doesn't, move on right away.
If you need ideas on what exactly to do... lush is a nice place to start. Porn's are a big no-no. =| They're geared mostly to visually stimulate men, they're not documentaries on sexual technique.
I think the best thing is to ask questions. The best person to ask questions to is your partner, the second best is places like lush. There must be a million posts in here about what people like during sex, and how they like it.
If you need ideas on what exactly to do... lush is a nice place to start.
Porn's are a big no-no. =| They're geared mostly to visually stimulate men, they're not documentaries on sexual technique.I think the best thing is to ask questions. The best person to ask questions to is your partner, the second best is places like lush. There must be a million posts in here about what people like during sex, and how they like it.
Active Ink Slinger
OMG lol!!
That reminds me of the Canadian version...
Bill and Tom were neighbours. One day Tom called up the Mounted Police and told them that Bill was hiding marijuana in the woodpile behind his house, so the Mounties came and chopped up all Bill's wood looking for it. Later on that day Tom gave his neighbour a call...
Tom: Hey man
Bill: hey
Tom: did the Mounties come by today?
Bill: yeah they did
Tom: did they chop up your woodpile?
Bill: yup they sure did
Tom: Happy Birthday, buddy!!
That reminds me of the Canadian version...
Bill and Tom were neighbours. One day Tom called up the Mounted Police and told them that Bill was hiding marijuana in the woodpile behind his house, so the Mounties came and chopped up all Bill's wood looking for it. Later on that day Tom gave his neighbour a call...
Tom: Hey man
Bill: hey
Tom: did the Mounties come by today?
Bill: yeah they did
Tom: did they chop up your woodpile?
Bill: yup they sure did
Tom: Happy Birthday, buddy!!
Active Ink Slinger
I think people who don't have clear or healthy boundaries might take some of the more 'extreme' stories to heart.
However, I believe that, generally speaking, people understand that writing is a creative outlet, and that while sometimes things look good on paper, they're unacceptable in real life. It's good to dream and let what's inside you out in a place where it can't hurt anyone. Letting stuff stagnate inside you causes cancer. :P
When it comes to stories that aren't so socially unacceptable, hopefully people can take away something that improves their own lives. It would be a shame and a crime if they didn't. Hopefully they find something that gives them the impetus to get out of their little box worlds and expand their playgrounds, or out of their little ruts and running through the fields again.
It all comes down to good judgement. Some people have it, some people are in the process of learning it.
If it's just physical expectations you're talking about, like how all the female characters have at least a C-cup and all the guys have dicks they could use to walk around on if ever they happened to lose a leg, then the same applies. Some people know it's not real and just enjoy the story anyways. Sadly, it does reinforce the idea that only beautiful people can be loved, be it loved emotionally or loved physically.
Maybe the next Lush contest should have 'small' as the theme - itty bitty titties and gerkins! Making something that's generally categorized as un-erotic would be a real challenge. :)
However, I believe that, generally speaking, people understand that writing is a creative outlet, and that while sometimes things look good on paper, they're unacceptable in real life. It's good to dream and let what's inside you out in a place where it can't hurt anyone. Letting stuff stagnate inside you causes cancer. :P
When it comes to stories that aren't so socially unacceptable, hopefully people can take away something that improves their own lives. It would be a shame and a crime if they didn't. Hopefully they find something that gives them the impetus to get out of their little box worlds and expand their playgrounds, or out of their little ruts and running through the fields again.
It all comes down to good judgement. Some people have it, some people are in the process of learning it.
If it's just physical expectations you're talking about, like how all the female characters have at least a C-cup and all the guys have dicks they could use to walk around on if ever they happened to lose a leg, then the same applies. Some people know it's not real and just enjoy the story anyways. Sadly, it does reinforce the idea that only beautiful people can be loved, be it loved emotionally or loved physically.
Maybe the next Lush contest should have 'small' as the theme - itty bitty titties and gerkins! Making something that's generally categorized as un-erotic would be a real challenge. :)
I feel so ashamed... 
