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PhilU

3 days ago

Straight Male

0 miles · Sydney

Profile Stories

Forum

6 Nov 2018

Quote by browncoffee
Hey everyone. I love the crowd here btw, everyone is so lovely and I'm so excited to read all the competition entries! I don't like this 50/50 chance thing though: EVERYONE MUST ENTER. It's like $500!! Imagine how many books you could buy with that!

Tea, please.

Yes, the first prize is most impressive. But I would like to hear a little more about the special prize for runners up... sunny

sunny

Personally, I'm making no promises (although it does feel like too long since I've managed a comp entry)... but it was in the 30s (C not F) again here today. I'm trying to think snow, but it's not quite happening yet...

And Happy Melbourne Cup Day to everyone... the first Tuesday in November. Beers are on me. occasion5

occasion5

Now, I think there might be something else on that day too. Diwali? No, that's tomorrow apparently. Oh yeah, there might be an election somewhere...

5 Nov 2018

I resisted the urge to get involved in an argument on the Think Tank...

31 Oct 2018

Quote by LYFBUZ
Pretty cool idea. I may need a ghost writer.

A little birdy (possibly a blackbird) told me that Hannah is truly wonderful. Not sure if flattery is enough to get her to ghost write, but it might be worth a try (for me... not convinced our latest comp winner needs a ghost writer...).

Anyway, thanks to Hannah and Gav for making this happen!!

29 Oct 2018

Quote by Beffer

What a fussbudget! The Pope kisses the tarmac wherever he lands, but you're too good to lick the sidewalk??

Pretty sure the Pope doesn't slip the tarmac any tongue though...

29 Oct 2018

Quote by Buz
The story is superb and it is a short read. So, no excuses. Read it!

If you don't read it, l will come to your house and steal your cat.

Already read it. Damn, maybe I'll never manage to get rid of the cat then...

Oh, and it is, as you say, a superb quick read. Congratulations Hannah!

28 Oct 2018

Dragon - Rain (an Aussie band... well, they might have had Kiwi accents, but we still claim them icon_smile

icon_smile

)

25 Oct 2018

Quote by Just_A_Guy_You_Know
Disappointed in so many of you.

I liked Gravity's Rainbow, Ulysses, A Clockwork Orange, Heart of Darkness... Christine was pretty slow and took awhile to pick up, but it wasn't awful. I finished it, and am a pretty big fan of King's. I also like David Foster Wallace's writing, though I haven't attempted infinite jest yet.

As for books I didn't finish: War and Peace... I remember being assigned to read Jane Eyre in university, getting about 30 pages into it, and then deciding to rent the movie instead. Also I've made a couple of attempts at reading Christopher Moore after someone described him as "like Douglas Adams" and I just can't do it. He's a fucking terrible writer, and should have a restraining order placed between him and any kind of word processor, type writer, note book or legal pad, the same way that pedophiles aren't allowed to go near schools and playgrounds.

Well, I'm disappointed right back at you. I finished War and Peace! Didn't really get much out of it, except being able to say that I finished it, so that's exactly what I'm doing here. I also made it through Crime and Punishment and Dr Zhivago.

Back on the topic... I never finished The Brothers Karamazov. My interest in Russian literature could only stretch so far...

22 Oct 2018

Quote by vanessa26

I couldn't finish A ClockWork Orange, I plan on trying again though

It does drag a bit in later sections... compared to the brilliant beginning, at least.

I made it to about p20 of James Joyce's Ulysses. Twice. Maybe I'll give it another go and see if I can make it to p30...

18 Oct 2018

Quote by RumpleForeskin

What you and all other Rumplator-type customers need to do is check out PhilU's new story. The link's below. If the age of miracles hasn't passed completely, it might even work. Later on you can come back for another drink and leave a big tip to show your gratitude. Anyway, here's the link:

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/humor/als-addin-2-one-thousand-and-one.aspx

Thank you for the pimping there, and congratulations on getting the link working perfectly (not that I would have ever doubted that you would... ) And thanks to your lovely, curvy, bonnet flaunting assistant for a bit more pimping.

When I posted it, I was actually thinking back to a discussion in here some time ago about how to get the fewest views possible, and figuring I'd got most bases covered. It's in the 'Humor' category and a sequel to something that's probably been totally forgotten. I just needed to stretch it out a few thousand more words...

Anyway, it should make about as much sense without reading the first part as it does if you have read that part (possibly not very much sense either way), but if anyone wants to start at the 'utterly ridiculous' beginning, that's here: https://www.lushstories.com/stories/humor/als-addin-and-the-enchanted-phone.aspx

And since I read that caffeine is bad for me, I guess I'll just have some alcohol instead, because I read somewhere that it's good for you (and I believe everything I read online...). So - beer me, please!

15 Oct 2018

Quote by Lokis_Sidekick

Oh I have to find this thread now. Verbal help me out.

https://forum.lushstories.com//yaf_postsm2857301_Swimming-pool-or-hot-tub-of-cum.aspx

Always happy to help...

Quote by browncoffee

Actually, nothing to add... just didn't want Hannah to miss the link evil4

evil4

10 Sep 2018

Wow, that's a lot of stories. And she still finds time to be nice to everyone! Congratulations!

10 Sep 2018

Congratulations! There's hitting the ground running, and then there's hitting the ground the way FirstBlush did - she'd leave Usain Bolt in her wake!

6 Sep 2018

I'm a little disappointed that they didn't go with the song sprite liked. But probably more disappointed that I didn't find a spot for 'Chain... keep us together' (or not, as the case may be). I think they did okay, but still not sure why Neil wants to pretend to be someone else... and sing with an American accent (sort of)?

3 Sep 2018

Quote by LYFBUZ

Anal. The anus being the "toaster." We should have known Sprite was up to mischief.

really

To misquote something that Freud possibly never said, "Sometimes a toaster is just a toaster!"

Coffee time here... is there anything that's been brewing in Big Bertha for a day or so? That would probably hit the spot.

2 Sep 2018

Evening all. It's been a while between drinks for me, but I figured I'd pop back in just to make sure that I appear to be a patron and not just someone who used to hang around here, since I may have submitted a little something to join in the frivolities around here. A very little something...

Anyway, make mine a beer thanks, Bill.

Congrats on making the 'Top Authors' list, LYFBUZ. I won't mention that it's changed again already now (it does seem to change rather quickly), but I'll assume that it was perfectly correct a few hours ago, and there's just a bit of random noise affecting the list now.

Have a nice Sunday most of you... alas, I will soon have to face a Monday. Actually, make that two beers, Bill!

27 Aug 2018

Quote by sprite

Especially the ones where you declared your penis is 10 inches long.

Yeah, well, I know that's smaller than guys claim in about 300,000 other posts, but I thought I should inject some honesty into the conversation... Whistle

Whistle

27 Aug 2018

Quote by sprite

pft. newb. 26,199 (26,200 once i hit post on this one.j7JImKYds0JRH04G )

pft. Okay, so I'm only at 542 (543 once I hit post on this one), but every one of them was an absolute winner. Quality over quantity I say bootyshake

bootyshake

Umm...

Anxious

hiding

18 Aug 2018

Congrats to all those who made the top 10, big congrats to TheTravellingMan and browncoffee for making it onto the podium, and huge congrats to jaded_buddha for managing to finish on top of Hannah, which most of us can only fantasize about (I'm just talking about competitions here... honest...)

And well done to all who managed to get a story finished on the theme, within the deadline, which is more than I managed this time. Didn't even manage to read all the top entries... which I should get to now...

11 Aug 2018

Greetings all.

Real life has been getting in the way of lush life again, but I thought I'd drop in for a quick drink. I'm sad that I missed the whole discussion about the creatures-that-must-not-be-named. Although, as I do like to tell the ladies of lush, we don't have any such creatures around these parts... no, nothing dangerous around here at all.
(Haven't yet convinced any such ladies to come visit, but you never know your luck on a big website...)

Anyway, thanks Curvy for wiping down the bar - it does seem a little less sticky than I remember it being. Could you pour me a beer, please... and maybe grab one for yourself while you're at it?
occasion5

occasion5

11 Aug 2018

Cum On Eileen - Dexy's Midnight Runners (I think that's how you spell it - it was a gentle love song about facials, wasn't it? laughing6

laughing6

)

29 Jul 2018

Quote by browncoffee
If you like flowers, weddings or sex, you may or may not like my new story.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/cheating/midsummer-nights.aspx

Flowers - meh. Weddings - meh. Sex - okay, don't tell anyone, but I do quite like that...

I'd add, if people like entertaining, well-written stories, then they're rather likely to like this one!

18 Jul 2018

Quote by sprite
Neptune is not a planet. that's where it went wrong.

No!!! They may take Pluto, but they will never take Neptune (from the list of planets).

And whatever you do, keep your hands off Uranus...

13 Jul 2018

Greetings all... Thought I'd pop in for a change, having almost survived another Friday the 13th here.

Slightly belated congratulations to Verbal and Layla. And a slightly belated 'welcome back' to the original and awesomest barkeep.

*Slips into his best English accent* And now, kind sir, I would appreciate a pint of your finest lager.

Is that good enough for a half-price beer? icon_smile

icon_smile

Pint Drunk

9 Jul 2018

Quote by DamonX

Correct. I'll give you football. But "ice hockey" seems redundant.

"Field hockey" is what girls in English private schools play.

"Hockey" is a major sport in North American and most of Europe.

Hockey is the most difficult sport to play in the world.. Try sliding around on metal blades hitting a rock hard piece of rubber with a wooden stick as other men try and smash your face into the ground... and fighting is part of the game.

I'll give you football. I can't call it that because we have a viable alternative to call it but I understand why you would.

But calling it "ice hockey" is just disrespectful. It's like calling soccer "non-foosball".

Men's "field hockey" has been an Olympic sport at every summer games since 1928... And, like Noll, I'll probably just continue to be disrespectful - "ice hockey" is far from redundant here.

But I think that calling real football, "Australian football" or "Aussie rules" is redundant... icon_biggrin

icon_biggrin

7 Jul 2018

Quote by Magical_felix

The penalties weren’t “clear”, they were hardly goal scoring chances. And really, that’s what happens when you’re a diving, time wasting, flopping, simulating team. You don’t get the benefit of the doubt.

Have the rules changed? When did it become a matter of whether there was a goal scoring chance for a penalty to be awarded?

I only saw one of the penalty appeals (4am kick-offs are a bit beyond me these days) but Kompany was very, very lucky. It was a clear foul and clearly in the penalty area. Therefore, it's a penalty. The only thing that might have saved him was that the ball was almost out of play (but probably wasn't). In which case, he should have got at least a yellow card (fouling people when the ball is dead is definitely cardable).

Quote by seeker4

Oh come on. It wouldn't be the World Cup if there wasn't some bitching about the refs.

Well, no, but the VAR was supposed to reduce it. Instead, we have lots of bitching about the VAR...

27 Jun 2018

Well, Australia matched Germany - 4th in their group. And our group was tougher than theirs laughing6

laughing6

Should be fun to watch Belgium and England competing hard for the right to (probably) face Colombia then Brazil, while the loser would likely face Japan and then Sweden or Switzerland...

14 Jun 2018

Evening all! My day got off to an unexpectedly nice start... and then was a bit expectedly less-than-nice for quite a while (aka work), but now it's picking up again. Just wanted to drop by and thank all those who helped out a late entrant to the comp, and say congrats to the Rump regulars and irregulars who did well in the comp (which is everyone who entered really, coz the stories were great) and especially the irregular MadMartigan (I mean that as a compliment - his stories are never regular, normal or boring!)

And I'll buy the next round for everyone (he says, having carefully chosen a quiet time of day to make the offer...) Make mine a beer.

Quote by TonyaL
I'm heading off to bed but wanted to congratulate Phil on placing in the top three and put his drink on me. All the stories I read were great and I'm sure the judges had a difficult time as always. I'll have some hot tea and need off for the night.

Aw, thanks so much, Tonya. Better make that two beers then. drunken

drunken

13 Jun 2018

Wow. I had a crack at reading all the entries to this comp and, given the quality of the entries, was hoping that maybe I might crack the top 10. I'm most honoured (and more than a little surprised) to have cracked the top 3.

Big congrats to MadMartigan for a first place after so many great comp entries that no one else could have written. He's one of a kind! And congrats to the so-called "Wannabe". And congrats also to all those who rounded out the top 10... and to those who created some really great stories but didn't quite make the list this time.

Last, but not least, thanks to Nicola and the judges who make these competitions happen. They're always a lot of fun... and deadlines may just motivate me to actually hit that 'publish' button. Embarassed

Embarassed

10 Jun 2018

Just the usual sorts of sports... Aussie rules, cricket, rugby if pressed, football (soccer) when the World Cup is on (which is apparently really soon - it's sneaking up on me), but I don't really root for any team.

'Root' kind of means something different around these parts... an act that gets talked about a lot on this site, but not (yet) in this thread.

Hence, this delicate Aussie love song:

6 Jun 2018

Greetings all. Just seeing if I can squeeze a 'Congrats on page 1000' message in, or if it will have to be 'Congrats on page 1001'. Quite an achievement either way. Coffee time here... I'll have it any which way (yes, still talking about coffee). Intravenously would probably be ideal this morning...