This thread will give you a few more answers.
http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst193_What-do-you-do-in-real-life-as-opposed-to-online.aspx
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Rembacher
3 days ago
Straight Male, 42
0 miles · Ontario
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Now would be the perfect time to institute user fees, since the 70,000 people DM mentioned will be just getting over the shock, and never want to have lush disappear on them again. You might even be able to get a couple thousand from each of us for lifetime memberships. lol
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Quote by brossela
I've actually seen multiple studies, and 5 inches seems to be the consensus.
I've never seen 5. I've seen a variety of numbers ranging from 5.5 to 6.5, and just recently had a teacher friend of mine mention in passing that her sex-ed curriculum has the average at 7.
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Quote by Dancing_DollQuote by Magical_felixQuote by Jebru
. The second situation, he saw a woman doing stretches, specifically the splits. His training for hurdles includes a lot of flexibility training, so he walked over, and jokingly challenged her to see who could do the splits further.
Your friend sounds like a damn cocksmith! Last time I tried some shit like that I got the 'let me exercise in peace you fucking creep watching me stretch look'. I was embarrassed and ashamed.
Sorry about that Felix, I don't like it when guys stare at my ass when I'm stretching... Can't a girl wear tight white yoga pants rolled down below the hip bone to the gym anymore? Jeez...
Seriously though... I do not recommend your friend's tactics Jebru. I am actually one of those girls that gets super annoyed when guys bug me at the gym with dumb comments like that. That's why I have my ipod buds in my ear at all times and try not to make eye contact with anyone when I'm working out. There is always some guy that thinks the gym is a social free for all, and it's a total turn off. Talking to a girl as she's leaving is fine, but I would discourage any males out there from hitting on women when they are in workout mode or even worse, adjusting your own work-out so that you can stalk her through the gym and stare creepily at her from afar no matter where she is. It's not cool.
I didn't mention him as a suggestion for guys of what to do. It works for him, more because of his confidence, charisma, and the fact he seems to have an innate ability to read what approach will work with a girl. I was mentioning him because he is an extreme, and therefore very clear example of male behaviour, which the thread was asking about. A demonstration that guys will try and talk to girls they are interested in, and if they are serious, they will talk more, and also listen.
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Ok, after checking out your profile, I can see that you are still learning the English language, so rather than ridicule you for it, I'll make an attempt to answer you question seriously. Guys go about showing interest in a variety of different ways, and have varying degrees of interest from curiosity to huge crush, and purely sexual to romantic. The one commonality in most approaches is talking. Even the shyest guy will find a way to talk to you if he is interested in you. Now, if he's shy, or coy, he may not actually admit he likes you, but he will go out of his way to talk to you.
I happened to talk with a friend of mine today who was telling me about some of his moves with the women at the gym when he was doing his training. On one instance, he saw a woman training on an exercise bike, and approached her in an assertive yet helpful manner and offered advice on how she could get more out of her workout, since he could tell that she was new to working out. That turned in to a 5 minute conversation, just from him offering one piece of advice. The second situation, he saw a woman doing stretches, specifically the splits. His training for hurdles includes a lot of flexibility training, so he walked over, and jokingly challenged her to see who could do the splits further. Personally, I generally don't go quite as theatrical as he does when it comes women I'm interested in, but I will find things to talk about. School gives a lot of opportunities since there's always a test or an assignment to mention, or ask what she thought about it.
The more he seeks you out, listens to and remembers what you tell him, the more serious his intentions are. If he's just looking for a little fun, he's not going to put in all that effort.
I happened to talk with a friend of mine today who was telling me about some of his moves with the women at the gym when he was doing his training. On one instance, he saw a woman training on an exercise bike, and approached her in an assertive yet helpful manner and offered advice on how she could get more out of her workout, since he could tell that she was new to working out. That turned in to a 5 minute conversation, just from him offering one piece of advice. The second situation, he saw a woman doing stretches, specifically the splits. His training for hurdles includes a lot of flexibility training, so he walked over, and jokingly challenged her to see who could do the splits further. Personally, I generally don't go quite as theatrical as he does when it comes women I'm interested in, but I will find things to talk about. School gives a lot of opportunities since there's always a test or an assignment to mention, or ask what she thought about it.
The more he seeks you out, listens to and remembers what you tell him, the more serious his intentions are. If he's just looking for a little fun, he's not going to put in all that effort.
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I can't help but wonder how many of the respondents here read your other thread about your week at college. If that, and not lush, is the reason he broke up with you, then I think it is completely understandable. You publicly admitted on a (semi)permanent record to cheating on him with multiple people. So, not only does he have to deal with you cheating on him, he has to deal with the fact that everyone knows he can't keep his girlfriend satisfied. Far easier to just say goodbye to your ass.
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I haven't seen the movie, but I will take a guess that the two women did not originate from Canada. Canada and the US share the longest undefended border in the world. While it has been tightened up a lot since 911, it is still comparatively easy to sneak someone across. My guess is that they brought the women in to Canada because our immigration/visitation laws tend to be more relaxed than those of the US, then moved them from Canada into the US.
Human trafficking is an issue here unfortunately. Whenever you have places people want to go, it seems you will also have people who will take advantage of that desire. I recently read an article about my area of Ontario having a surprising number of cases where immigrants were forced into what is essentially slavery and put to work in the seasonal agriculture, housekeeping, and unfortunately, sex trade industries.
I've also noticed that the government has taken to airing advertisement on television about immigration officials. That if someone claims to have the ability to get your spouse or family member into the country, you should do your research and make sure they are a legitimate official or lawyer. So it seems that even the government is admitting at least passively that there are issues with that right now.
Human trafficking is an issue here unfortunately. Whenever you have places people want to go, it seems you will also have people who will take advantage of that desire. I recently read an article about my area of Ontario having a surprising number of cases where immigrants were forced into what is essentially slavery and put to work in the seasonal agriculture, housekeeping, and unfortunately, sex trade industries.
I've also noticed that the government has taken to airing advertisement on television about immigration officials. That if someone claims to have the ability to get your spouse or family member into the country, you should do your research and make sure they are a legitimate official or lawyer. So it seems that even the government is admitting at least passively that there are issues with that right now.
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Coming from a background which was not as open when it comes to sex, I see this situation a little different than the people above. Some people believe that talk of a sexual nature just increases temptation. My mother takes that belief one step further, and thinks that someone in a relationship should not have friends of the opposite sex. If the couple hangs out with that person together its fine, but alone is not.
Now, I don't agree with her at all, but I mention this as a way of illustrating that people have a variety of perspectives on issues, especially when it comes to sex.
I think when it comes down to it, you have to decide whether lush is more important to you than he is. I'm not saying give up and give him control on everything, but if you care about him you do have to be willing to compromise a little.
Edit:
To add to it a little, I compare it to a bar. Some people are ok with their partner going to a bar alone or with friends, and flirting the night away. Others feel that is a betrayal to the relationship, an act that is ok for a single person to do, but not someone in a relationship. In any relationship you have to learn what your partner considers the boundaries to be, and whether you can live with them. If you can't live with them, move on. Lush is a great website, but in the end, it's just a website. Isn't someone in real life more important?
Now, I don't agree with her at all, but I mention this as a way of illustrating that people have a variety of perspectives on issues, especially when it comes to sex.
I think when it comes down to it, you have to decide whether lush is more important to you than he is. I'm not saying give up and give him control on everything, but if you care about him you do have to be willing to compromise a little.
Edit:
To add to it a little, I compare it to a bar. Some people are ok with their partner going to a bar alone or with friends, and flirting the night away. Others feel that is a betrayal to the relationship, an act that is ok for a single person to do, but not someone in a relationship. In any relationship you have to learn what your partner considers the boundaries to be, and whether you can live with them. If you can't live with them, move on. Lush is a great website, but in the end, it's just a website. Isn't someone in real life more important?
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Quote by Loislane
I don't want to have to be the person that rejects a beautiful piece of poetry because it doesn't contain any sexual elements.
Isn't this essentially one of the current aspects the story verifiers look at with regular stories? It could be the best story ever written, but if it was a love story with no sexual elements it would be deemed not suited for this site, under my understanding of the rules.
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Quote by LadyXQuote by Loislane
You want to remove love stories as well now? See how this escalates , then it will be another category then another.
I didn't understand the response to be a recommendation to remove Love Stories. Is it not true that if there's supposed to some sexual element to the story, even in the Love Story genre?
Why, for discussion's sake at the very least, should the same not apply to Poetry?
That's exactly what I was trying to say. I have had a story rejected in the past with the explanation that even love stories must have a sexual component, and yet the poems don't seem to need that. What I was trying to say is keep the poetry category, and yes, the love story category too, but since this is an erotic site, make them have an erotic component. Otherwise they can be posted on the non-erotic version of the site.
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I think if poems want to be treated as equal with stories, then we should go all the way with that. Even love stories that don't have a strong sexual component are deemed to not be suitable for this site, so shouldn't the same standard go for poems? With the creation of storiesspace, we wouldn't even be stifling poets' creativity, since there is a perfectly valid outlet for non-sexual writing there. Plenty of writers have published both here and on storiesspace in both the poems and stories sections, so why not just make that the rule, rather than a somewhat common practice?
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Quote by BigDaddyRich
video chat
Dude, we get it, you want video chat. From the responses the last times you have asked, I don't think you are getting it. MSN, , , and all have programs which allow you to do that. If someone won't give you their contact info for one of those, chances are they won't video chat with you here either.
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Since I haven't done it myself, this is just an educated guess, but I think this whole thing comes down to the belief that women are guarded around men. Especially when you see all the comments about girls who only want to talk to girls, and the comments about how guys who chat up girls tend to be creeps, it makes sense that you could get closer to a woman as a woman than as a man. Girls here tend to share experiences with each other. They also occasionally share pictures. Knowing that, a guy could think that he will receive more masturbatory material as a female than he would as a male.
As for the gay or bi males who do it, I have heard of that as well, but don't understand that aspect of it. Especially not when there seem to be available men willing to oblige their interests.
As for the gay or bi males who do it, I have heard of that as well, but don't understand that aspect of it. Especially not when there seem to be available men willing to oblige their interests.
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Quote by LadyXQuote by Jillicious
What if the voting is already too complicated for some people? Why don't we just go to a thumbs up or thumbs down style of voting? Yes, I liked it or no, I didn't. Then if they vote no we can have a dialogue box pop up that asks them if they want to change their vote. That way everyone is encouraged to get amazing votes and no ones feelings get hurt.
Point taken, you don't think its a big deal or worth talking about, apparently. We get it.
But if the voting system is not to be fussed over or taken seriously, then what other parts of the site should we just not concern ourselves with? It's hard enough to write stories worthy of being shown to the world, and in some cases have courage to post them, only to feel like you're going to get voted badly, for reasons having nothing to do with the quality of the writing.
And save the whole "maybe the story really DOES deserve a low vote" argument. Anyone can attest that what I, and others, am referring too happens a lot. We're not all in our own little love-our-own-writing mode here, sorry.
I'm not saying make drastic changes (see above post), but this is something that comes up over and over again. If you feel like it's just a bunch of members being babies and taking it too seriously, then thats fine, be snide about it all you want. But that opinion is far from a consensus here.
Sarcasm aside, I actually like the thumbs up, thumbs down idea for creating more votes. Stories tend to be a subjective thing, better suited to quantitative feedback rather than objective, qualitative feedback. A simple "yes" it was good, or "no" it wasn't would be effective, with the option to clarify the reason for your vote in the comment section. The top stories list would then be based on the percentage of yes votes.
But again, this all depends on what you want from the stories. Do you want quality, or quantity in votes? The multi-faceted voting system suggested earlier gives the writer a lot more useful feedback, but those who are here just to enjoy stories won't vote because they don't want to think about all those aspects while trying to get off on the story. If you just want confirmation that you did a good job, a yes or no would be fine.
Personally, I do appreciate the public comments and votes on my stories, but I find that for my growth as a writer, the feedback I receive in messages and conversations is most useful.
I don't think we are ever going to find a perfect system. I don't know if the stats back this up, but I think the votes/read have gone down since we required people to comment after leaving a 1 or 2 vote. A 3 vote sucks when not warranted, but it's actually a vote saying your story was average. If we restrict people from calling a story average, we might as well force comments on every single vote, and live with the lower vote totals.
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My dad is a licensed electrician who has been in the construction industry in some form or other for over 30 years. While he now works in a very small portion of the market (installs central vacuum systems in new and existing houses) he still pays attention to the work that every other tradesperson does in the houses he works on. Like any other industry, there are good companies and bad companies. He's told me stories about companies that really impressed him, and companies which made him cringe at their incompetence.
When you are dealing with a smaller company, the contractor wears many hats. He or she is both office staff and actual production staff. Unfortunately this means they are often too busy to return calls as promptly as they should. Also, they may be busy with other jobs, and be waiting until they can be sure they will have freedom in their schedule to do your job before contacting you. Big companies are more expensive yes, but this is in part because they hire office staff. People who can handle the communication with customers, as well as scheduling and billing. They also tend to have more flexibility to send a crew out quickly to complete a task. A smaller company will often be cheaper, since they will have less overhead, but they will also usually be booked further in advance unless they are either no good, or in the midst of an industry wide slow down, where there isn't enough work to keep busy.
Trades people who own their own companies don't do it because they are good communicators, or have strong organizational and management skills. Their company will no doubt do better if they have those skills, but the reason they enter the business is because they have a marketable skill. Their trade. Which they want to have control over. And because they are good, and word gets around that the work they do improves your most valuable asset, they not only stay in business despite not being "reliable," they even thrive.
My advice to find the good ones echoes the advice of a few others above me: 1)Talk to friends and family who have had work done that you like, by people they were happy to deal with. 2)Talk to workers at the local hardware store. As a current employee of a hardware store I can tell you it doesn't take long to figure out who knows what they are doing, and is on top of their game. And 3) If you have had work done by a tradesperson you liked, contact them and ask if they have any recommendations. Chances are, they know which companies are worthy of your business and are happy to refer you, as those companies will tend to reciprocate referrals when it helps keep their customers satisfied and create goodwill for their brand.
When you are dealing with a smaller company, the contractor wears many hats. He or she is both office staff and actual production staff. Unfortunately this means they are often too busy to return calls as promptly as they should. Also, they may be busy with other jobs, and be waiting until they can be sure they will have freedom in their schedule to do your job before contacting you. Big companies are more expensive yes, but this is in part because they hire office staff. People who can handle the communication with customers, as well as scheduling and billing. They also tend to have more flexibility to send a crew out quickly to complete a task. A smaller company will often be cheaper, since they will have less overhead, but they will also usually be booked further in advance unless they are either no good, or in the midst of an industry wide slow down, where there isn't enough work to keep busy.
Trades people who own their own companies don't do it because they are good communicators, or have strong organizational and management skills. Their company will no doubt do better if they have those skills, but the reason they enter the business is because they have a marketable skill. Their trade. Which they want to have control over. And because they are good, and word gets around that the work they do improves your most valuable asset, they not only stay in business despite not being "reliable," they even thrive.
My advice to find the good ones echoes the advice of a few others above me: 1)Talk to friends and family who have had work done that you like, by people they were happy to deal with. 2)Talk to workers at the local hardware store. As a current employee of a hardware store I can tell you it doesn't take long to figure out who knows what they are doing, and is on top of their game. And 3) If you have had work done by a tradesperson you liked, contact them and ask if they have any recommendations. Chances are, they know which companies are worthy of your business and are happy to refer you, as those companies will tend to reciprocate referrals when it helps keep their customers satisfied and create goodwill for their brand.