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Shylass
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female
United Kingdom
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
FFS! Yes, I have to wait half an hour for the computer to rotate some high quality digital photographs! Yes, it does drive me crazy! Yes, we have to share a bathroom between three of us! Yes, she's very slow at driving! Yes, we don't have a countertop and fabulous lighting for craftwork! Yes, it would be awesome to have somebody fit the room out to my specs so I have all that collection of craft materials on hand and easy to find a single glance! Yes, it's terrible how we have all these boxes full of my dead dad's paperwork and books and stuff just lying around the place so we can't use the space properly! Yes, England is pretty small and closed in when you compare it to the vastness of the States! Yes, England is cold and damp and a towel is not dry 20 minutes later like where you live! Yes, I understand what you are saying about the FUCKING PIECE OF CRAP I'VE HAD TO MAKE and the many, many, many uses it can have that are only limited by my imagination! Yes, I understand what you are saying about starting a small business of my own from home!

Now how about you SHUT THE FUCK UP and realise that WE DO NOT HAVE THE KIND OF MONEY YOU DO! We can't AFFORD a fucking new shiny computer that does whatever we want just by winking at it! We have to WAIT for things to happen, it's not all at our beck and call and instant like your super-rich lifestyle! We can't AFFORD to get some bloke to come in (and don't give me that crap about lasses being able to do that stuff too, the people we know who do it are blokes) and create a bespoke room for all our instant needs! She is fucking grieving for her dead husband, and either she will get round to it when she is ready, or we will do it when SHE dies! England is a beautiful place, and I hear you moaning long enough about how far we have to travel to go anywhere that YOU think is interesting, so that kind of negates the small, squished argument, don't you fucking think? If you go to Seattle which about on the same kind of line as the UK, you'll find that other places in the States have the same kind of weather that we do. We aren't all a mile high and have that mountain fucking dryness! AND I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT! HE'S FUCKING DEAD, ALREADY! I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT HIS PICTURE! HE'S ALIVE IN MY HEART, NOT MY EYES! And I get what I can do with the fucking technique! This is my JOB! I work in a shop that DOES this! And to start my own business? Apart from the fact that every single fucking one of you thinks you know what is best for me and what I fucking SHOULD be doing and am fucking ABLE to do, YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA! If you wish to throw a few fucking thousand pounds my way, I would be very PLEASED to start ... FOR FUCK'S SAKE! Why not just walk into the room whilst I am trying to rant about you so that I don't bite your fucking head off? Why not tell me that you know I will not like your idea, and then insist on wanting to take my fucking photo with the fucking thing so that you can "give me credit for my artistic abilities"? Why not keep going on about it until I cry? Oh yes, that's right! I just started crying in front of you! How do you like them apples, huh? Look at that! Crying over a photo, when all you wanted to do was give me credit for something? Get it now? FUCKING GET IT NOW?!?

And yes, it does take a long time to get her out of the fucking house. Much like the computer, you just have to be patient and fucking WAIT!

And now you've finally fucked off out the room...


We are your fucking dirt-poor relations.. and... Have you ever fucking HEARD yourself? You could be so fucking great, and I would fucking LOVE you to bits if you just stopped fucking being so fucking moany and patronising! And... IO CAN@T EVEN FUCKING REMEMBER WHY I AM FEELING LIKE THIS!

Oh wait... yes I can...

Tomorrow better fucking hurry up, and then maybe I can stop fucking annoying people on here and fucking get back to not fucking swearing all the fucking time!

FUCK IT!

*Image removed by Rage Patrol*


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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by crypticneophyte


I DO ENJOY LOCAL BAR THOUGH I'M VIRGIN smile SELF-CONTROL ISjavascript:insertsmiley('%20','/forum/images/emoticons/baglady.gif') A MUST


Where I live, the virgins who want to go to a bar have to sit in the corner, fenced off from the other people. They aren't allowed to dance, they may only sit demurely on straight-backed chairs and tap one foot in time to the music. They aren't allowed to speak to anybody, although they may smile and nod chastely if somebody offers to buy them a drink (it might be their future husband). It's a great night out.
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by CumGirl


Dunk me in your milky stuff,
Coat me with your cream.
Thrust my ever smiling face
Somewhere quite obscene.

Ogle me, my arms splayed wide;
Yummy legs, fixed spread,
Just wanton and available
Tasty gingerbread.

Stroke my skin and watch me crumble,
Falling into bliss.
Use me any way you want;
Your Gingerbread Miss.


I. Love. You.

Thank you for making me smile my first proper smile aaaaaalllllllll day!
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by Kitten86


Some people think it's a big deal, others don't care. What I have learned is that most people judge another based on how they see the world, rather than trying to see it from another's point of view. Therefore, many think you cannot possibly be a virgin because they aren't.

It also does my head in when people think it must be because of religious reasons, or being frigid. There are countless reasons why somebody might be, just as there are countless reasons why some people are unable to understand or believe it's even possible.

You may or may not find some interesting responses on this thread: http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst21610_Is-It-So-Hard-To-Believe.aspx

As for virgins dancing barefoot and wild in a local bar being unbelievable, it is obviously due to the fact that only non-virgins have the ability to enjoy themselves and have fun in public. Or indeed in private.



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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
I use the word "hence", and I have seen it horribly misused in the forums.

Thank you, Gurlyboy.
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by CumGirl
Not only am I gingerbread ...

But I know how to use gingerbread ...

And no artistic type is going to put the frighteners on me x






Thank you very much, Wolfie22, for giving the definition.
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by 1ball


I bring this up, because i think "Erotica" might be just as subjective.


I would like to know subjective views, though. I'm interested in people and what defines them as an individual, and how they view the world. And, in this case, "erotica".
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Dear You-Still-Here?!,

How about you stop moaning now? She's doing the best she can to keep up with you, you selfish cow! Only Neptune knows why, all you do is talk down to her when she does manage it. And get annoyed with her all you like, but SHE is the one driving YOU to all the places YOU want to go, and YOU are driving me BONKERS! SHUT THE FUCK UP! JUST SHUT UP!!!

And I was MAKING AN OBSERVATION! I'm not an idiot! When I say, "8,000 letters to him is a lot of writing on one subject", it was mere fact that I found interesting. I do NOT need a lecture on how they didn't have the internet and mobile phones at the turn of 1900. I fucking KNOW that! You might think that I am an ignorant fool with no clue, but when I tell you that the masonry above your head is a groin vault, with the edges also called "arrises" in a Romanesque style, it's because I did a fucking DEGREE in this stuff. I would like to stick it all up YOUR arris, you patronising outlet of verbal squits!

And when it comes to getting a job, when I tell you that in the UK, people are not usually paid to be tour guides, they have to do it as volunteers because these places don't have the funding for it, it's because THEY DON'T HAVE THE FUNDING FOR IT! It's RARE to get a paid job as a guide! And I can't be a manager of such a place because I don't have the skills needed to BE a fucking manager of a place like that. I am intelligent enough to KNOW that! Yes, I KNOW I would rock as a tour guide, mainly because I know how to make up crap about history and make it convincing, but THEY DON'T PAY PEOPLE TO DO THAT WHERE WE WERE!

And NO, I do NOT want you to take my fucking photo in front of a fucking tree. I DON'T LIKE IT!!! AAAARGH!

And no, I will not write a fucking book on the wildflowers of the North Trumpton coastline, because IT'S BEEN DONE! I ALREADY have plans for a book but I'm not going to tell YOU about it because you WOULDN'T LIKE IT! It's about a FAT FAIRY! And we KNOW how you feel about fantasies and avoiding reality. Excuse ME for having an imagination! And okay, so maybe it's a silly dream of mine, but at least I won't have it torn down by telling YOU about it!

Now STOP TRYING TO FIND ME A JOB I CAN DO! I HAVE one! I work what I can and I can barely cope with it, but AT LEAST I'M TRYING MY FUCKING BEST! And I'm FUCKING GOOD AT IT! And I am soooooo sorry it's not really a Best, because it isn't shaped the way YOU want to see it!

JUST GO HOME! GO! GO AWAY! FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFF!

FUCKETTY FUCKING BOLLOCKSY BOLLOCKING ARSEFUCKETTY BASTARDY KNOBHEADEDY POOFACE TWATTING NUMBNUTTING BOLLOCKS TO IT ALL!

Me.
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
This is something I have been thinking about for a while. How do you define "erotica"?

I have been slowly learning the difference between "Wank Fiction" and "Erotica", but now I want to explore the meaning of the latter a bit more fully.

For instance, does erotica always have to have the act of sex in it? I love stories that draw me into a tense atmosphere, that allow my imagination to work overtime and tease me with suggestion and palpable sexual tension - but without dictating (ha ha, "dicktating") what happens with detailed "he did, she did" narratives. To me, a brilliant writer is somebody who make me blush without making people fuck in front of me, so to speak. Stephanie is a master of this for me, if you want an example: Shauna Robinson's Interview

I'm not saying that pure erotica can't have actual sexual acts in it - far from it. But to me, it shouldn't have to have them - it should be able to call to my sensuality and sexuality, and make my imagination whirr overtime.

So what do you think? Can you define "erotica"? What does it mean to you? How do you define it with regards to the differences with "wank fiction", and what elements do you expect to find in a pure erotica story?
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by LadyX
Entertainment for some, tiresome for others. Let's take this episode away from the forum, please. If there's more to this than passive aggressive sparring, please one of you let me know via PM. Thanks!
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Whilst we're on the subject of entertainment, I'm not currently entertained, sadly.
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
I naturally use "whilst", whilst wondering if it should be "while". And now I know, and can use it without worrying.

And Magical_Felix, if I heard you use it, I'd not think anything of it, it's a real word and everyfink!
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by Mazza


Well fuck you!! You grumpy bastard!!!

(hugging the crap out of you really!!)



Effing fecking knobhead ranty-pants.

Oh wait... no... that's me.

Leaving now.
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by Mazza


EFFING


It's the EFFING RAGE CAGE, Mazza! I put your eff in!
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Dear You,

Okay! She's annoying! I get it! I have to put up with it every day! I totally understand the need to vent about her! But I do not fucking need to do it every single time the poor woman isn't in ear shot! I do not need to belittle her, judge her and make persnicketty comments about her constantly to her family and friends. I have the internet for when it gets too much to bear, and you are a fucking self-righteous, mean, small-minded, judging cow! I don't CARE if you are a trained pychologist, you are a BITCH! Your so-called pragmatism and positive thinking are actually patronising fucking bollocksy bollocking crap. ON A STICK.

And whilst we're at it, when you are making horrible comments about how unfit she is compared to some other woman who lives thousands of miles away, FUCKING REMEMBER that the woman you are making crappy snide observations about has fought and won against breast cancer, undergoing the removal of a breast and intensive chemo, plus has received two new kneecaps and a pacemaker, and suffers from severe arthritis and neuropathy in her feet, hands and back, causing her immense pain. And yet she still has that irritating smile plastered on her face! I vent about her, yes, but I STILL FUCKING RESPECT HER!

And do you FUCKING REALISE that every time you go on and on about her, I am terrified that you go on about ME when I'm not there? I was in SO much much pain today, like two blowtorches were melting away my ankles, and I still dragged myself round your fucking walk! And I know I was NOT the only one out of breath and finding it hard-going. How does it feel to be a FUCKING HYPOCRITE? Oh, that's right, YOU DON'T FUCKING CARE because you are a NARROW-MINDED FUCKING BITCH! WELL, YOU AREN'T FUCKING PERFECT!

Oh, and before I forget: when I say I don't like having my picture taken, it's because I DON'T LIKE HAVING MY PICTURE TAKEN! And I know FULL WELL you will be taking those pictures home to your fucking snidey nasty son so that he can do his usual "She's so fuckin' fat an' ugly!". I WONDER WHO HE LEARNED THAT FROM! I posed for your fucking crappy photos! I don't CARE that you think you can take a good picture of me (it doesn't fucking exist and never will do, you selfish cow), don't you DARE make it seem as if it's an imposition and that you are trying to "help" me by "allowing me" to stand behind other people, and then say "I'm just tryin' to be accomodatin'..." NO, YOU FUCKING AREN'T! If you were, you WOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN THE FUCKING PHOTOS IN THE FIRST PLACE! Oh, I am SOOOOO sorry I am so paranoid and me, me, me about all this. I must work on my positive fucking outlook.

And I don't WANT a cushion with his face on it. He's dead! Stick a fucking cookie on it and I'll love it. Stick his face on it, and I will destroy it. It's GREAT you like to remember people that way. I DON'T!

By the way, before I finish and have a good cry, CLINICAL DEPRESSION is a CLINICAL CONDITION. It doesn't matter how much you think "positive thinking" is the cure. Because CLINICAL DEPRESSION MEANS THAT POSITIVE THINKING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR SOME PEOPLE! Stuck in a rut of being ill? You think I fucking ENJOY having to think about how to get out of my bedroom in the daytime? That I love having to run to the toilets for a cry at work for no fucking reason and tell my bosses I'm having ANOTHER Bad Day? That I love not being able to respond to conversation or concentrate on the most basic of things whenever and wherever I want and need to? Oh sure! I LOVE being this way! I love saying, "I'm ill, I can't do that!" I think it's GREAT I can't meet up with my mates like a normal person and hold decent conversations with them. I LOVE how I just want to hide and make the world fuck off and not be here, and how I have to push certain thoughts away from me. It's a great joy. I looooove it, I want to aaallllwaaaaayyyyyyssss be like this!

And I ESPECIALLY love how I can say all of this to your face and for you to actually HEAR, UNDERSTAND, and SHUT THE FUCK UP! Oh wait... no... that was just a dream I once had when I was hoping for the best from you.

I can't wait until you go.

Fucking Bollocks To It All,

Me.
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
sTUPIDY sTUPID fECKING tINTERNET mAKING ME fall off ALL THE fECKING TIME!!!

aND THAT WASN'T ALL cAPS, ok?

:SUNNY:
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
I'd want to give it for as long as he wanted it. If my jaw hurts (which it did my first time), it simply says to me that I need to practice on him.
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by redlips
I have been meh for several days, and I hate it when I am meh and someone tells me to cheer up. Well if I could cheer up I wouldn't be meh would I? But now I dropped in here and all your meh seems to have absorbed my meh and I feel no mo meh and feel silly again. Except I have used your meh to help myself, without permission I may add, and that is making me all meh again. poo! Meh is back.


What mehs around, mehs around.

I can swing back and forth in the space of minutes.

And you have permission to use the Mehness for your meh.
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by sexyeyes37
Sends over a massive baileys milkshake to shylass..sorry but I ate the chips hehe.


I love you (and I forgive you for eating the chips - I would have done the same thing).

And I love crazydiamond, who has made me this, which is perfect for right now:


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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Kinky_girl, proper Meh Town!

Sisters, which fairy?

I am so unbelievably tired and sleepy. I am too tired and teary to rant OR moan. And I had to mow down the daisies when I cut the lawn. It's carnage out there. The one saving grace is that everybody (we have visitors) are out and I am currently (and not for long) alone.

I just want a massive glass of Baileys milkshake and some fish and chips, followed by a long, lingering snog and a cuddle until I fall asleep. Gonna have to find me a boyfriend.

Meh.
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by chefkathleen


For the Daisy that wants to be different.



Crazydiamond, I need a Meh , please!
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by latinfoxy


That sounds perfect! i will remind you



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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by Mazza


*Image removed by Rage Patrol*


You are dangerously close to unleashing my previously held-back rant...
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by latinfoxy
Im trying to remember if ive ever try i ginger bread cookie and i think i havent!!


Remind me after the weekend, and I will send you my Secret Recipe to try.
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Shylass
Gingerbread Lover
I have had such a crappy day that I have had to create a gif to express my rage about Boss #4, Colleague #3, the mother of the two children in the coffee shop, and the customer with the blanket:

















*Image removed by Rage Patrol*
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