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TonyZ
Over 90 days ago
Gay Male, 56
United States
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TonyZ
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Quote by dpw

Not faced any problems? Come on! You had a problem choosing between the bunny and the red fox!


that was not a problem... more like an indecision which was quickly solved once I found out about the fox hoodie. I am going to look foxy hot ;)
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TonyZ
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Quote by sprite
labels like... X-Large? Polyester? Wash in cold water? No added preservatives? this is a very confusing tread...


Those labels are actually quite useful, unlike the other ones that I am talking about...
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TonyZ
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Quote by sprite


i have a rubber one, though i'm guessing it's not the same. still, i'd be willing to give it a shot! smile


Rachel, my dear love... rubber will never be the same as a pulsing and throbbing hardon attached to a hot hunk, but thanks for offering ;)
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TonyZ
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Quote by sprite


have you ever been in one? those places are scary!


I actually have been to leasbian bars... I have these transgender girlfriends that say that they do not get any attention at gay bars, so we go to leasbian bars where they get everyone in the room to turn their heads ;)
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TonyZ
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Quote by luci_fer
they are like that coz of the problems they faced and !!!


What problems? I have not faced any problems...
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TonyZ
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Quote by dpw
Secretly I was hoping you'd be knocking me over and licking me!
Slurrrp.


The quote above is the best thing that you've said regarding this issue... and yes, I would so lick you from head to toe. Are you ticklinsh by any chance? ;))

Just kidding, your message was well received and was packed with knowledge. I will research a little about the warrior gene because it sounds quite interesting. Thank you for that one! I am particularly interested in knowing, and I am not sure if I will ever find out, if there are any bullies without the warrior gene. Would be interesting to find statistics about this gene related to the action of bullying.

I do have some comments regarding the dog and the sibling examples, but I am getting ready to leave the country for a week on business. Hopefully I will have time and internet to keep posting and have fun with you guys. By the way, today I came across a sad piece of news regarding the father of a gay teen that committed suicide has died while in a cross-country walk against bullying... if you would like to read the article please follow this link: http://www.queerty.com/father-of-gay-teen-who-committed-suicide-dies-in-cross-country-walk-against-bullying-20131010/?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_term=Queerty%20Active&utm_campaign=Queerty%20Daily%20Newsletter
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TonyZ
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Depending on the tattoo and where it is located it can be a turn on... otherwise it is just there, it won't turn me on but it won't turn me off either.
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TonyZ
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Quote by dpw
1. Why? What's the attraction, the kick, the buzz or whatever?


Only they can answer that question. Every head is a different world and they must also have a reason of their own. But at the end of the day they are as human as you and me and members of our society. We just have to be supportive and love them no matter what. And I am not talking about loving them sexually, although if they are your cup of tea then you are welcome to love them that way too smile

Their transformation or the way they see themselves it is often not the way they end up and psychologically speaking they are all messed up until they can feel comfortable with the change or the stage they are in.


Quote by dpw
2. Are they happy? By that I mean do they see themselves as the finished product, happy to grow older like that?


Some will sadly never be 100% happy... others may run out of money before they can finish getting to were they want to be. I know, one of my transgender friends always complained about the costs involved and she even told me that she got into porn (I am not kidding) to support doctor and other medical bills. I talk to them a lot and always try to make them feel pretty. They go through a lot psychologically, emotionally and physically... to me a kind word and a hug costs nothing, for them it light up their world and as a result can see them smiling again :))

I live in a gay community so I get to see and meet all sorts of people with different sexual orientations, skin color, religion, gender, level of acceptation of who they are, and a long etc... I feel lucky that I am more than ok with my body. I can loose quite a few pounds, but other than that I love being all male and love being gay. I am one of the lucky ones. I know lots of gay men that, because of their up bringing and/or religion hate the fact that they are gay. They go to bed with a man and afterwards feel guilty about it. They are not happy with the cards that they were dealt. Some learn to cope with the feeling other never do sad


Quote by dpw
3. That's a pm one for later!


Aww... honey, you know I still love you right?
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TonyZ
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I have all sorts of toys... glass dildos are lots of fun because you can put it in the fridge or you can warm it up and play with different temperatures. Plus they are very easy to clean and mantain. Beads are fun if you move around so that they also move inside of you. Vibrators are super cool... I even have a cock ring that has a stick attached to it an a vibrating ball at the end to plug my ass. If you are straight or a gay top you can use it while fucking your partner, me on the other hand I can only use it during foreplay and it is still lots of fun. Remote controlled vibrating butt plugs are also lots of fun. Especially if you pop it in and leave the house while you give the remote control to your partner. I have never used strapons because since I am gay I rather have a real man fucking me ;)

My favorite shop is http://www.boyzshop.com/
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Quote by seeker4
A true voyeur who gets all of his/her kicks from watching porn or peeping Tom activity could likely fit this profile IF the voyeurism is their only sexual outlet.


Do you think that there are true voyeurs that achieve to detach themselves from physical contact and in some cases also from reality (in the case of hermits that only watch porn and jerk to it)?
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TonyZ
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Quote by sprite


might have something to do with you being gay... just thinking out loud, here ;)


I think that you may be on to something there... LMAO!
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TonyZ
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Quote by dpw

I think all bullies are born but the vast majority either suppress it or have it trained out of them.


I do believe that some bullies are born with aggressive tendencies or traits which are later developed, or not, through an early experience. But to say that all bullies are born that way is an irresponsible and light way to look at the issue. There are lots of factors and circumstances that should be examined in order to determine why a certain behavior is exhibited by a child. Take for instance a family in which the two siblings are exposed to an abusive experience at an early age. One of the brothers may develop and exhibit a negative behavior while the second does not. How can we explain that? Well, perhaps one of the siblings was prone to an aggressive behavior that was dormant, only to awaken through a negative experience. In this case, he did not learn the behavior, the negative experience merely awoke a tendency that was in his genes. Other factors that may be attributable to an aggressive behavior that was not learned may be an effect of a disease and even physical trauma, like falling and hitting his head, external psychological issues and in some cases deficiencies of several essential nutrients, vitamins and minerals. Any of those factors, and I am sure there are lots more, may have a child exhibit a restlessness behavior, irritability, impulsivity and ultimately violence even if the child lives in a happy and supportive environment.

So far we have genes and or tendencies (born that way), disease, physical trauma, psychological factors and nutritional deficiencies. However, all those factors are only one half of the equation, the other half and I suspect the greater half is a learned behavior. I can not quantify nor speculate on a percentage number that could be attributed to each, but the environment of a child most likely plays the bigger part of this issue.

The two major environments of a child are their home and school... At home the child may have abusive parents, siblings, nanny or other family members, while unsupervised tv viewing, certain violent video games and/or the internet may also be attributed to a learned behavior. At school abusive teachers and peer pressure are the two major components. So you see, to say that all bullies are born that way is like saying that all dogs will bite viciously any human that approaches them without a particular cause. Heck, my dog will probably jump on an intruder, pushing him to the ground, just to lick his face.


Quote by dpw
The alpha syndrome still exists within us as it does in the wild but in the main we have been taught not to act on it.


Again I disagree with you. Yes there are alpha people, but not the way you would expect and they do not suppress their instincts either. Just the other day I was watching either The Discovery Channel or National Geographic and they had a documentary in which human behavior has compared to wild apes to determine who was the alpha leader in a group of men than had met at the beginning of the program. Alpha leaders where always more confident and assertive in most situations, but not in all. In other words, the role changed between three different people in a group of seven depending on the task and depending on whether there was a female present or not. However, those alpha traits where exhibited completely unconsciously. Otherwise don't you think that we would all want to be the alpha leader?

Quote by dpw
I believe poor parenting is often the cause for bullying, parents abdicate their responsibilities to the schools. Bullies are only exist because of their peers, they encourage it by condoning it. No bully would carry on if, by bullying, they became the outcast or the unpopular one.


Yes, I agree that poor parenting and peer pressure are parts of the puzzle in order to decipher bully behavior. But isn't this statement contradictory with your opening statement when you said that all bullies are born that way?

Quote by dpw
We all live in democracies, WE ARE SOCIETY. We, through our vote, make the rules for majority of the members, that's how it works. Sometimes this is unfair on a minority group but it is up to the group to persuade the majority that it is unfair.


Finally I can agree with you 100%. That is exactly what I tried to say in another of my answers... well done!

Quote by dpw
Ok Tony you can chop me up and chew me. Lol


How did I do with the copping and chewing? LMAO!
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TonyZ
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Quote by dpw
I'm sorry but I struggle with the concept of she males. Why part feminise a male body? I understand full and pre op transexuals but to be half and half is beyond me. I certainly wouldn't be happy if I picked up a bloke with tatooes a hairy chest and a pussy, I'd want to find a cock down there. Just my personal preference.


The thing is, sweetie, that it is not about you. It's about them and how they feel trapped in a male or female body. My transgender friends are quite happy being girls (even though they still have dicks) and they look as sexy if not more than "real" girls. What's messed up is that they sometimes go to lesbian bars because they say that they love the attention they get... LMAO!
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TonyZ
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Quote by sprite
think about it like this, guys - a lot of you love watching lesbian porn - two hot women having sex - it's sort of the equivalent - two hot sweaty naked men having sex - makes perfect sense to me smile


To me lesbian porn does nothing, but then again I may be the exception of the rule ;)
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TonyZ
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I am gay and sexually speaking like manly men, but I have lots of transgender friends... smile
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TonyZ
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I have a female friend that always wanted to see two guys having sex, so I let her watch once and thought it was cool. Since then, I have let her watch me with other boys many times. She sometimes takes pictures and sometimes just watches and masturbates. I have also do it in a whole bunch of public places and gay bath houses and adult movie theaters where I knew that anyone could watch. I guess that makes me an exhibitionist and it is hot!
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TonyZ
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Quote by dpw
Which type is a turn on and which a turn off? Does anyone hate all of it or even get turned on by all of it? Finally does anyone think it's harmful? I'm only talking adult porn, not illegal shit.


Generally speaking anything with two or more gay guys is a turn on for me, but I could careless about pain and BDSM. And I am not into golden shower or scat either. Oh, by the way, hunky guys with hard cocks will get my blood flowing faster ;)

I don't think its harmful, if anything it might even help to break the ice when meeting someone new.
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TonyZ
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Quote by mountaingaljanelle29
Society needs to be on the same page to address this.


By the way, I forgot to tell you or perhaps you already know since it was viral all day yesterday, but a gay porn star (Jesse Jackman) posted on facebook a picture of himself kissing his husband (Dirk Caber) who just so happened to be another gay porn star. Facebook's reaction was to disable Jesse's account because they thought that the picture was not appropiate for their site. A few hours later, after a whole bunch of people and other pro-gay websites voiced what happened, his facebook account was back online including the kissing picture.

Jesse when talking to the media said "I received multiple public death threats after posting this photo, endured countless homophobic slurs, and received dozens upon dozens of hate-filled messages, and yet Facebook did nothing about those disgusting comments, choosing to censor love instead of hate… This is a travesty. Hate must not be allowed to prevail in this world."


This is the picture that caused all of the commotion...



Also, in recent news a few days ago Barilla's Chairman was part of the news when he publicly said on a live radio show the following:

“I would never do an advert with a homosexual family, if the gays don’t like it they can go an eat another brand. For us the concept of the sacred family remains one of the fundamental values of the company. I have no respect for adoption by gay families because this concerns a person who is not able to choose.”

Like he was able to choose in which family he was born sad A few days later, after the LGBT global community boycotted the company, the Chairman of the company made a whole bunch of apologies in which he has repeatedly said he feels “depressed and saddened” by the situation he’s created. The last part of the article I read had Rich Ferraro GLAAD’s Vice President of Communications saying the following:

“I think the public backlash shows that homophobia is bad for business today because we’re living in a world where LGBT people are respected and accepted,” Ferraro said. “That wasn’t the case five years ago.”

If you want to read the full article go to the following link: http://www.queerty.com/barilla-chairman-meets-with-lgbt-groups-in-an-attempt-to-reverse-global-boycott-20131008/
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TonyZ
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Even though as human beings we are what scientist call ventral, meaning that we need to be hugged and touched by others, do you think that voyeurs detach themselves from our physical need for human contact? Are they satisfied with loving themselves?
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TonyZ
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Quote by mountaingaljanelle29
Society is attempting, right now to ''Bully,'' smokers out of society.


You see this is where I do not agree with you. Society is not bullying smokers, it is the other way around. Smokers have bullied non-smokers for years. We all have the right to do as we wish until your right affects me or anyone else, for that matter. If you want to smoke and kill yourself that is your choice, but in doing so don't kill me. Did you know that second hand smokers are at greater risk than actual smokers?

Quote by mountaingaljanelle29
Had my behavior not changed I can assure you that I would've been, ''bullied,'' out by Society.


I do not know what your previous behavior was so I can not comment on that. I know that society's morals and rules aren't perfect, but it is what we've got to work with before it all becomes a huge chaos. What you do have to remember is that the system, along with societies rules and morals, are not static. It is in fact a work in progress. It may be hard to change, it may take years to do so, but if there is something you do not like about society, you can always speak up, gather signatures and lobby your government representatives to try to make the change you want or need. The more noise you make, the faster the response. We are all doing our part, putting a small grain of salt and step by step we are building the world we want to live in.

Quote by mountaingaljanelle29
You can see this in the animal kingdom. The Pack or the Herd or whatever you wish to call it, will bully out the weak or infirm or aberrant or whatever is deleterious to the pack.


Yes it is called the survival of the fittest. But that does not make it right in our homo sapiens world. We as the thinking animal have a choice to do better and to help others.

Quote by mountaingaljanelle29
We need to as members of Society make very clear to the Bully that the conduct is unacceptable. It doesn't matter one damn bit if it is learned or inherited. It is wrong.


I agree that bullying is wrong and that we have to do something about it, but I do not agree that it doesn't matter whether the behavior is learned or inherited. You see, if we are able to study and comprehend the reasons as to why the behavior exists, perhaps we can prevent it or at the very least minimize it.

Quote by mountaingaljanelle29
Let's take a look at being Gay. Or, in my case, Lesbian. Or even, Transgendered. The first thing that needs to be settled here is not the sexual dysphoria that people like this feel, although personal counseling and or psychological help should be made available to people like this more readily, what needs to be settled here is Society's view of this.


Sweetie, Rome was not built in one day. I can understand your frustration because I am gay, but you know what? I am not sure how old you are, but I have seen lots of positive changes in lthe ast few decades. Most recent one is that state after state, and country after country, are all beginning to recognize same gender marriages. People in general are a lot more tolerant and sensitive towards LGBT issues than they were when I was growing up and in some cities is it quite normal to see two men or two women holding hands or kissing in public. Heck, just look at the number of TV shows and movies that have LGBT people either in real life or acting as one. We are still a long way from being where we want to be, but we are getting there day by day. We are all voicing our needs, within the system and within society's rules and laws, and in doing so we are not infringing on anyone's freedom.
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TonyZ
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Quote by dpw
Are you at college or work, do you have just a small group of friends that you hang out with, if so are they in the same boat? Let us know and maybe someone will come up with good ideas that will suit you. You might get lots of ideas but you have to be comfortable with them.


I agree with Derek, we as human beings are creatures of habit. If you tell us a little about your habits, we may come up with a suitable solution that would fit your lifestyle (busy or not). Also, if you tell us what you've already tried we may come up with alternatives. Lastly, like I told you in another thread we live close by, roughly about 4 hours away, and I am soon due to visit your area to meet other friends. It would be nice if when there we could meet to talk and hit a few of the local bars in hopes that you loosen up a little and find your perfect match smile
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TonyZ
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Quote by kylie_kained
Either way Tony you will look great ;)


Aww... thank you, honey
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TonyZ
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Although I consider myself as 100% gay, I believe that the Kinsey scale/study suggests approximations to the true values, but there are no absolute blacks and no absolute whites. Instead there are a whole bunch of gray scales or in betweens. I believe that human behavior is a little bit more complicated and does not accurately fit in the 6 levels of Kinsey's Scale. If we open the scale to all of the possibilities in the world, we will end up concluding that there are no true values or definitives, and that lines soon become blurry.

Each event and/or experience we have sways us a few notches one way or the other, hence the gray in between. What's even more fascinating is that the same event or experience may sway a different person onto the opposite side of the spectrum. That may very well be either because of a previous experience or because of the lack of another experience. By the way, some of those experiences may happen even before we are born and are transferred to us through our parents chromosomes. It doesn't matter how we attain our experiences, but, at the end of the day we are all a collection of various experiences which makes up who we are and how we behave.

In other words, I think that no matter how gay or straight a person might be, no one is 100% one or the other. We may position ourselves closer to one end of the spectrum than the other, but we will never be absolutely black nor white. As we begin to move more towards the middle of the spectrum the lines become blurrier, but even then we may have a certain preference for one gender over the other.

What I really can't understand is why do we, as human beings, have the need for labels that divide and in some cases hurt. We are all humans and we all have the right to be happy and to love whomever we wish to love. In my book the only absolute is that humans have no real need for labels!
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TonyZ
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Quote by 1nfinitesexuallity
Like seeker says I'm just sexual I love sex.. No one can take that away from me smile simple as that


That is a beautiful way to look at it... I am glad that more and more people see themselves that way :)
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TonyZ
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Quote by dpw

Are you sure!!!
There are things out there that are seriously strange that I'd run a mile from. Stuff like extreme torture, choking, humiliation, fisting etc. The list is endless, so think about it and always take notice of your gut instinct, if you don't like the sound of it or it worries you in the least don't do it.


I agree, the list should be endless no matter how open minded we all may think we are. Its all about psychology and human behavior. Most of us don't think about negative possibilities and instead only have a positive outlook of possibilities. Therefore, at a first look our lists may seem small, but confronted with a given situation or experience we would most certainly be able to decide when to widen our list of limits.
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TonyZ
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Quote by 1nfinitesexuallity

also yea in my area craigslist isn't trusted for things like this sadly where I am Is like creep capital :/


I just noticed that you live in Kissimmee... we are only 4 hours away by car. One of these days I will go to Orlando to visit other friends and perhaps we can meet. Meanwhile, please keep safe.
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TonyZ
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Quote by Tranquil
Innocents is the word used for the new born. and yet sociopaths are born, psychopaths too. Blame it on the chemical imbalance, the missing gene?

Could be. However in my years on this earth i have found it is the environment that is the root cause for most social problems.


So a person could be born as a bully, but in most of the cases the behavior is learned... I not only agree with you, but also think that it would be nice to have some sort of statistics or a research study that could help us prevent or at the very least minimize the behavior.
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