Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
A lot of it depends on what I'm looking for.
If I just want to watch a hot girl jill herself off, then either is fine.
If I want some BDSM stuff it's mostly utter trash unless you find someone that actually knows what they're doing.
The queer stuff is a very mixed bag. If I see any more women with nails long enough to cause serious internal injury fingering each other , I'm going to burst out laughing hysterically.
So for that I tend to be more interested in who is in front of the camera then whether it's pro or amateur.
Big fake tits, huge nails, and the most ludicrous tongue waggling in the air instantly turn me off, or make me burst out laughing at them.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
FFF or FFF+ it's always good
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
I think it depends on how much of either we're talking about.
Most of the people I know in long term relationships pretty much admit most of their kids were the result of one or both of their parents having at least one drink to reduce inhibitions.
So a glass or two to loosen up can do wonders especially if you're a restrained kind of personality. Getting wasted and climbing into bed just results in a mess.
If you're so drunk you can't even tell your lover they're doing exactly what you need them to do, or what you don't want them to do, how are you remotely present in that moment?
I've had drunken sex, and I barely remembered it, what little I did remember wasn't very impressive. It's so easy to fall asleep mid performance if you're drunk or high, or to get distracted by something and find they've been fucking your belly button for the last 20 minutes and are loudly wondering why you haven't cum yet.
Maybe it's just my taste in men, but I've had it happen a time or two. Or in one memorable occasion I was sober, he was high and he came before I could get his clothes off.
When your lover has the blissed out face of someone who has cum hard, and their undies are full of their own cum, time to tuck them into bed and go sleep on the couch.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
I always found bad sex more frustrating then not having any at all. There's the intense feeling that you could have been doing pretty much anything else and felt better than you did after having bad sex.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
What fucking asshat insists I need to use HTTPS to connect to the admin portal to bring a router back online, and then makes the security cert a self signed one that chrome and Edge won't accept?? YOU FUCKING ASSHATS!!!!
Thank Fuck for Firefox.
FUCKING THING!!!!
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Ahem..
"You must be a witch because you enchanted me when you walked in the room."
Yep I got that one from a druid at a conclave.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
For me, I've tried both and a woman's beautiful juices for me everytime.
Mens always seemed like their sweat. Heavy, pungent, earthy and musky.
With a mouth feel like cold tapioca or cream cheese from a tube.
Womens always seemed lighter, more like the juice of an oyster.
With a mouth feel like extra virgin olive oil and brine. Peppery, slippery and a hint of the sea.
I could never get enough of it.
Hope that answers the question.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Has the voice of an angel, well a very kinky one but that's fine.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Always have a clean pair of knickers in your bag, you never know when you might need them.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
I have. I drove my fathers Mercedes SLK convertible, with the top down, and nothing on but my shoes.
I drove about 30 miles stark naked, pulled over got dressed and drove back. I did give the seat a little dab with a wet wipe to remove any stains.
He never suspected a thing, and put down any discolouration to the natural change in the leather.
Here's to naked driving. Ooh my nipples weren't half hard when I pulled over, the wind made them tingle so.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
The ones who shaped my journey in life were all older than I was. I think it should be something we should all be proud to do, show the next generation the skills we learned.
Besides from a purely selfish reason, if we're all getting properly taken care of in the bedroom how many people won't be so quick to explode in road rage, or shout at sales people.
A good moan or two and the world is a much more mellow place.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Struts into the bar, blowing kisses as she gets to the bar.
Empties Big Bertha, keeping the sludge for Carl and the caffeine junkies. Refills with some Hawaiian roast beans, and lots of mountain fresh water.
Places a soft kiss on BB, and polishes her nozzle for being a good...coffee maker.
Cleans out the big kettle and refills it, setting it to boil.
Switches the sign from The Witch is OUT to IN.
Wiggles fingers and summons a dryad to get the washing up done, while a second whirls round the room driving all the rubbish into a pile, before feeding it to an earth elemental.
Good morning my drunken animals, I hope life is going well for you all.
I got my first Covid shot yesterday, and I'm not feeling much different. A faint feeling like I didn't get enough sleep and I'm slightly cold, but nothing as bad as I was expecting.
I hear some utter ass hat decided to be mean to Annie. May the crack of their ass be always itchy when there's someone else in the room to watch them scratch it.
Silly buggers.
Well done to Violet for backing her sister up, and not letting ass hats make her cry.
As for the rest of you lovelies, I have to go on a long boring conference call. Be back soon.
Toodles.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Yes, I told my bestie I'd been in love with her for years, but I didn't know that's what those feelings were.
I was 19 or 20. I'd barely begun to acknowledge I was attracted to women, wrestling with my sexual identity.
I didn't know if I was bi, bi curious or entirely lesbian.
We were both a little drunk at a friends birthday party. She leaned in to me, I kissed her.
She seemed to enjoy it as she kissed me back, for a few minutes.
Then she gave a sudden jerk, got to her feet, wiped her mouth and went back to the party.
The next time I saw her, she was looking over this guys shoulder as she quite passionately ate the face off him.
She stared into my eyes while she did it too. Just to make damn sure I knew she wasn't into girls.
I left soon after that, in floods of tears. We were never the same after that.
I found out years later that a mutual friend had taken pictures of the party, and in one of them you can see her passionately snogging some guy. In the lower corner was my face, a frozen moment of broken hearted pain. Anyone who saw it could tell that girl had just had her heart crushed, in the most brutal way possible. She pushed the guy off her about 5 minutes after I'd left, she wasn't into him all that much, just wanted to convince herself and me that she wasn't queer.
I still don't know why she didn't just tell me she didn't feel the same way, or let me down gently. It popped up on facebook a few years ago, and anyone tagged in it all mentions how shattered my face looks in that moment. She claims she didn't remember that party, or the half hour conversation we had about our years of friendship and how I was trying to understand my identity.
She's never apologised for it, or given an explanation. She just shrugs it off as us both being after the same guy and she got to kiss him before I did.
Even Blind Pew can see that's a crock of shit.
Such is life. We don't know the cards we're dealt, all we can do is try to play fair, and be kinder to each other.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Yep. I have. Mistress thought I needed reminding of my place, so on my knees to please her. The confused sales assistant who wondered what all the delay was in her coming out saw my shoes sticking out of the curtain. Looked at the angle they were at and wisely decided to pretend she knew nothing. When Mistress was satisfied with my little offering to her pleasure she pulled the curtain open, walked out like nothing unusual had happened. I followed on my knees till she snapped her fingers to let me get back on my feet. She bought the dress, I bought her a smoothie. It was a very pleasant experience. I've done it more than once, but it lost a lot of its mojo when it wasn't at the command of a Mistress. I should try doing it again now I've changed roles and see what it feels like to be on the other end of the experience.
Umm...Does that answer the question you asked?
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
The muse can be an insistent voice in my head at times, so rather then drown her out I put what she whispers in my ear on the page.
There's a tremendous rush when you're in the Zone, fingers flying as you try to keep up with the voice in your head telling you where to go next.
Like you're driving in a rally, listening to your navigator tell you where to go.
The other reason I write out here is frankly I get a lot more eyeballs on my work then I'd ever get without being here.
Sure is doesn't sound like much but when you go from a few dozen readers to over a thousand, it really does change your perception of what you can do.
I did find that as Stephen King said in his book On Writing, "Writers write".
The more I wrote, the more I fed my muse which encouraged me to write even more.
I went from mostly writing material that others used to adlib their own adventures in to having to tell a complete story.
From just bashing stuff out and trusting my performance skills would cover any rough bits, to actually getting books on how to write.
When you turn down a chance to read Pratchett or Wodehouse so you can read a technical book on how to write better dialogue, you know lush had an impact.
I'm a better writer for being here, and I sure hope I keep improving because that muse is getting pushy these days.
TLDR: To keep my muse happy so she keeps telling me stories to write.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
back in the day it was always swallow. Easier to clean up and less likely to leave embarrassing stains on clothing.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
TIL what TIL stood for, now I feel really silly for not knowing it.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
I do when I write , read and chat out here.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
A beautiful , funny , whip smart woman.