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Twisted_Skald

1 month ago

Lesbian Cis Female, 49

Ireland

Profile Stories

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12 May 2021

Quote by KimmiBeGood
Morning Rumpies

My face is starting to look human again, so I ran out for Krispy Kremes. Enjoy!

And pimping a story in MILF on the Homepage- "Turning Stephanie Insatiable" written by super-talented mod, LeftLingula. His reads have already zoomed to over 800 in like an hour. His collab partner left the site after the first chapter, but he picked up the ball and ran with this one. I absolutely think it is a very hot piece of erotica.

I will take a hot cocoa and be in the corner writing a little.

Kimmi my love, firstly you're a hottie and anyone who spotted you out and about would have swooned. Course it might just be the lunar phase but I'm getting squirmy lately.

Puts on official Bad Comic hat.

Ahem.. Is that a reference to you being a MILF?
Mother I'd like to .....FEED.

Yes Folks I'm that kinda girl. I make a terrible pun gag and I do like to feed people.
So sit yourself down Kimmi and let me feed you all sorts of delicious treats. I managed to swipe a bottle of Verity's raspberry sauce, which I hear is the kind of thing nations once went to war over.
Want to try a little ....taste???

12 May 2021

Quote by JustAnotherSapphic
Jolted awake thinking about Jane's hands and now I'm way too Janefogged to say much.

Big Hugs

Big Hugs

Big Hugs

Big Hugs

You are shockingly under cuddled, have a big helping of squishy hugs.

12 May 2021

Struts into the bar, blowing kisses as she gets to the bar.
Empties Big Bertha, keeping the sludge for Carl and the caffeine junkies. Refills with some Hawaiian roast beans, and lots of mountain fresh water.
Places a soft kiss on BB, and polishes her nozzle for being a good...coffee maker.
Cleans out the big kettle and refills it, setting it to boil.

Switches the sign from The Witch is OUT to IN.
Wiggles fingers and summons a dryad to get the washing up done, while a second whirls round the room driving all the rubbish into a pile, before feeding it to an earth elemental.

Good morning my lovelies,

Verity, you can have anything you want to drink my darling.
I do warn you though, if I get to have a feel of those marvelous globes I might insist on taking you for a tour of Storeroom 4, we may be gone some time.

Larry my dear, you're such a kind caring man. May we always have such wise souls to inspire us on our journey.

Vanessa, I'm sorry to hear you have migraines. They're a total suffering pain in the tush. I wish them gone from your life and many glorious pain free weeks ahead.

Ensorceled , my dear unless you're writing poetry or micros I think you're only allowed to submit 2 a week or the mighty mods get cranky. You do have to leave at least 24 hours before you can have one appear on the main page.

Also as you're one of our new writers why not join our little writers group. Violet can teach your typewriter how to be extremely filthy, and we can teach each other how to be better writers. We're hiding in the groups section and alas you have to click to join so I can't send you the link.
We'd love to have you with us.

James, I see you're being you're usual furry self. Handsome and cheery. Though that might be because I've had 2 double espressos and I'm vibrating nicely at this hour.

Don't judge me, I need the firepower to keep me moving at this hour.

11 May 2021

Absolutely I would, name the place and book a day off work.

11 May 2021

Quote by seeker4

I will make it a third. I am at the point where I only enter if something "clicks" and I get something started. If I can't come up with something that fits the theme, I won't knock myself out doing it. And sometimes, just continuing something I have going already or have an idea for ends up as a comp entry.

Then there's a couple comps that inspired me so much (or maybe I was in a very literary mood) that I wrote two and had to decide which one to enter. The second then was published as a regular story after the comp ended.

Sometimes you find the perfect thing ina forum post and race off to put it on paper before it escapes.
That's art I suppose.

11 May 2021

Quote by LucaByDesign

Oh, I know, Michelle. When I write, the reader has to either like it or lump it. That is why I cannot write to order (as in a given comp theme). The impetus for the story has to come from within. I like the idea of using an image to inspire a competition theme, though.

But I do try to serve up contents of my mind up in a manner that is palatable to the reader.

And of course, the old cliche says it all: You can't please . . .

Nice to hear I'm not the only one who finds it a struggle to get something in order for a comp. I never manage to get the scribbling engine hot at the start of the window so I have loads of time to play and polish. It's always a wild desperate charge into the unknown roaring like a maniac and swinging my pencil like a machete.

Oh and is the old Cliche: You can't please old cranky sheep farmers who double as your Witch Elder??

Mine certainly is hard to please. Sheesh all right already I put the sand on the ashes what else do you want.

Elders, who'd have them.

11 May 2021

Thank you Violet, that's one heck of a story. Who says cucks can't be romantic tales.
I've got something in my eye.

11 May 2021

Quote by utterchaos

It sounds crazy, but sometimes, BDSM can get a little same-y, and you just crave sensual, playful, cuddle-time that turns into sex.

Emma darling, nobody says you can't be incredibly sensual AND do BDSM. Come see me in store room 4 after and you can borrow my spell book. Sssh, don't tell the guys.

11 May 2021

Quote by LucaByDesign

Most readers on here are reading for the sexual kick. If we writers can give them that, make their fantasy real, to the best of our ability, all well and good. But I imagine most casual readers could not give a fuck about literary ability. They just want their particular itch scratching.

Feck it Luca, that's what I've been doing wrong all this time.
I've been amusing my muse and letting her put words on a page.
I didn't think I needed to seduce the reader too.
That explains everything.

Big Hugs

Big Hugs

11 May 2021

Quote by DaisyChained
Quote by Twisted_Skald

So C is mostly a poor dupe that A used for her pleasure and I get to go through an emotional journey.

Hi Michelle

I guess it depends on your story. My cuckold story made C the protagonist and the story was written through her eyes. I wanted to try something different, and I got an RR, so I think it worked.

I don’t know how to post a link, but it was called A Thousand Miles if you want to take a look

Thank you Daisy, A very helpful suggestion.

11 May 2021

Quote by letsgonow69
Perhaps this is a story to be co-written with a man. Interweave both parts of the story.

Ooh that might be a fun idea.

11 May 2021

Struts into the bar, blowing kisses as she gets to the bar.
Empties Big Bertha, keeping the sludge for the real caffeine fans. Refills with some Italian roast beans, and lots of mountain fresh water.
Blows a kiss to BB and gives her a comforting pat for being a good...coffee maker.
Cleans out the big kettle and refills it, setting it to boil.

Places a tray of hazelnut and chocolate croissants on the bar.

Switches the sign from The Witch is OUT to IN.
Wiggles fingers and summons a dryad to get the washing up done, while a second whirls round the room driving all the rubbish into a pile, before feeding it to an earth elemental.

Good morning you, my hungover heroes I hope you are all doing well today.

Linda you are so kind to leave such wonderful treats, or soakage as we call it over here in the Emerald Isle.
SBB Awfully well done on another RR, that's always something to celebrate.

11 May 2021

Quote by Gillianleeeza
I heard there were free drinks being offered to all the mods.

I'll take that offer. It's been a stressful few days. But thankfully I was able to see my mother and one of my sons for Mother's Day.

I'm sure some of my boxes of cocktail umbrellas are still behind the bar. Sarh and Bill are always great at restocking them for me. I'll take a few in a gin and tonic, please.

I hope Monday was kind to everyone.

Cheers!

Would that be the regular cocktail sized ones or the huge ones?
I have both.

10 May 2021

Quote by deviantsusie
I think it depends on whose story it is. Are we watching it from A's perspective. Do we see A look at B and grin as she sees the jealousy or discomfort in their eyes? If it is an omnipotent global view of everyone, you could jump from person to person, focussing on A's thoughts, then C's, then B's then A's again etc... personally, I think if B gets plonked in the chair to watch and we get a whole sex scene just focussing on A and C, then we don't feel anything for B.

I don't know if that helps. I like writing stories from multiple perspectives so that would be the route I go but yours might be completely different.

Thank you susie,
It's exactly what I needed to know.
I was planning on mostly keeping the focus on A and B. C being mostly a pawn to A and a source of annoyance to B.
Will write up a proper draft and see how it goes.
I just wanted to make sure that having 2 primary actors with a patsy in the middle was ok.
I'm going to be B while A lives out a fantasy and pretends it's to address my jealousy issues.

Your comments are not only appreciated but completely vital to helping me get this done properly.

So C is mostly a poor dupe that A used for her pleasure and I get to go through an emotional journey.

Will write it up and see how it goes.

10 May 2021

Quote by Ensorceled
So someone told this place is where all the writers hang out.

Mine's not a story comp or anything, but I do have a humble Flash piece up on the site - my FIRST! If anyone wants to give it a read, I'd appreciate it.

It's called Two Kinds of People. https://www.lushstories.com/stories/flash-erotica/-two-kinds-of-people-.aspx

A little early for a drink. Do you guys have any coffee? And can I snag one of those muffins? They look deLISH!

Welcome to Rumps. We love to see new writers here.
I'm Michelle, the Witchy bartender, well the officially unofficial third shift bartender.

James does our introductions, he's the big polar bear. Just don't call him "Cuddles" some if the ladies do but I don't recommend the guys do that.

The silent trio in the corner is Rev Rumps, the man with his name over the door and his personal security Coma and Tose.
Last I heard they were discussing how many angels can dance on the nib of a pen.

Carl the handsome lion usually turns up with pastries, Jameson whiskey and tunes.
He loves to meet new writers and to encourage them.

Theres the famous beauties Tonya, Curvy, Kimmi, Emma, Bunny, and Sprite.
Beauties beyond words they are and to can tell them I said so.

We have the silent observers corner with Linda, Sara and Gracie.
They're very shy creatures but never say no to a drink or a pastry.

The poets wander in Kistin, Carl, Fluttered and I know I'm forgetting someone.

We have Verity who has a glorious turn of phrase and if you ask nicely will show you her ankle.

I'm sure I've forgotten someone being a blonde but that's enough to start with.

I'm Michelle if you want a drink, Miss if you want a spanking and Skald if you need a Witch.

Speaking if which what can I get ya?

10 May 2021

Quote by JustAnotherSapphic

...god, I need to glue myself to Jane. Nothing is wrong, but I still need to be close to her as though there was. I don't know why.

Devotion knows no logic my darling. Feel it and let it give you power.

10 May 2021

Well if I were a man, I wouldn't have had to worry about protection, the cycles of the moon , dealing with a moon curse and being an emotional mess at times.
I'd be able to fuck when I wanted with very little consequences.
I'd be able to sleep with as many people as I wanted and nobody would call me a whore.
If I slept with someone I fancied because they suggested we do, I wouldn't be labelled a slut.
I could touch my bits in public and people would say nothing.
I could go on public transport without worrying about being felt up. I could eat what I wanted and tell the world I didn't need to go on a diet.
I could find a tailor who would actually make clothes to fit me perfectly instead of being told it's my fault for being a size they didn't want to to make properly.
I wouldn't need to shave my legs, armpits or bits. I don't need to wear a whole lot of scent either.
I could buy a phone without it being covered in glitter or pink. I could report a fault without having my intelligence questioned. I could talk to a mechanic without him thinking I'm a total idiot.
I could buy a car without being sold on the amount of space in the back for kids. I could fly from one corner of the world to the other with no fear anyone anywhere would want to keep a copy of my xray scan at the airport.
I could go topless on the beach without someone caring or taking a picture of it. I could go to a club without worrying about being groped by a drunken idiot, or having some boozed up twit whispering his number in my ear when I'm with my girlfriend.
I wouldn't have to play nice all the time so I don't get assaulted in the club. I wouldn't need to clock where every bouncer and exit is in case a drunken twit decides to sexually assault me.
I wouldn't need to worry about ass holes trying to take pictures down my top from the balcony or get picture of what's under my skirt when I'm out.
I could get a cab without worrying about being violated and the law doing nothing.
I could walk down an alley anywhere in the world and piss against the wall. I could walk down the alley and only be worried about being mugged instead of , kidnapped or murdered.
I could visit every country in the world without fear that the law wouldn't listen to me if I reported a crime.
I wouldn't have to worry about my gender, religion or sexual identity being used to persecute me for being a freak or a deviant. I could get medical care without having to constantly prove I wasn't pregnant, or deal with my doctors religious bigotry.
I'd feel morally and socially entitled to learn what makes me happy in bed.
I could fuck myself senseless anytime I wanted without feeling like some kind of depraved fallen woman. Granted that's more when I was a teen.
I could go to family events without being asked am I getting broody yet.
I wouldn't need to wear a bra and put up with my chest being compressed by sports safety gear.
I wouldn't need to buy make up any more or worry about cleansing my pores.
I wouldn't need to get my hair dyed to pretend I hadn't aged.

I could give someone a present and be thanked for it. Get credit for anything I did once, because good boys get credit while good girls get more work to do.
I could compete for a promotion without worrying that the fact I'm of child bearing age might mean I'd take time off to have a family and so be secretly held against me.
If someone said "gay" like it's a bad thing I wouldn't need to fear for my safety or those of my community.
Yes dickhead a phone isn't gay, it's something you don't like.

On the downside. I'd have to learn how to shave my face, and every bloody day too. I'd have to pick up the bill if I went on a date. I'd have to pay more for car insurance because I'm a higher insurance risk. Live a lot less longer.
I'd only be able to cum once then wait an eternity to reload and go again. The worst bit is I'd probably lose my link to my Goddess as I'd have no need to be bound to a Divine Female force is I was linked to a Male force instead.
I wouldn't be able to cry if I felt upset without being labelled weak. I'd have to claim to like action movies to prove I'm macho, when sometimes I like an action movie dammit. I@d never be able to tell my dad I love him, because men don't say that to each other.
I'm at a much higher risk of violence, even scumbags know hitting a woman tends to draw a crowd but belting another guy is fine.
I'd have to be always right because the men I've known can't ever admit to a mistake or being wrong. I'd never be able to use Dita Von Teese as a life role model and use Tease as a weapon and defence.

10 May 2021

Now I'm no expert on being a cuckold, I got the wrong parts for a start.
I did want to ask the great wisdom of the room, if one is doing a female centric cuck story, that's at least semi autobiograpical I wanted to check something.

Should one keep the observer's emotional state to merely being mentioned at the start and end of the sex descriptions, or is it ok to interweave the action with the observers perspective?

I'm not a reader of the genre, yes I probably should read one before I start, but I wanted to check if there was a strong feeling either way from the reader base.

Essentially if A takes C to bed while B watches. Is it important to know how B is feeling as the scene unfolds, or is it better to just leave it to the end?

I've got great help before when I asked these kinds of questions so I'm hoping you can help me make this one an extra spicy one.

10 May 2021

Big Hugs

Quote by RumpleForeskin
Moanday mourning greetings to all, especially the brave few who wandered in wondering what the hell was going on, only to learn no one around here ever has any idea about what's going on or coming off. Convinced that makes this their kind of place, they buy a round for all with a double for the foxy lady behind the bar.

Kimmi, congrats on your great Mother's Day along with best wishes for a quick surceasse of sorrow for your face.

Time to fill my 'Deep Hole Fluid Injectors' mug to the brim with today's magic brew from the combined efforts of Big Bertha and Michelle. If someone has slipped in with some goodies while I was in mid-pontification mode, I'll grab some and make my way over to the corner table to learn what passes for deep thought today.

Anybody want a drink?

Bill you are a very sweet man indeed. What gal doesn't like being called a foxy lady. I certainly love it.
For being such a lovely man, have a kiss on the cheek. smooch

smooch

Elyse you are seriously under squishy hugged. Come here and get a great big pile of them.
Big Hugs

Big Hugs

Big Hugs

Big Hugs

Big Hugs

10 May 2021

Yes I've done something like that, decided to spin the events into a story.
Coming or indeed possibly cumming soon.

10 May 2021

Quote by KimmiBeGood

My son just called and made my day with great news. It's looking like he will get to work on the set of the next Marvel movie filming in Atlanta. It would be his dream come true. So happy for him!

Kimmi my dear, I'm so happy for you. You must be one proud momma, it's always a beautiful thing when we see the people we love most in the world achieve their dreams.

Big Hugs

Big Hugs

crybaby

There I go again blubbing over happy people.

You're a fabulous mom, and deserve a huge squishy hug.

Big Hugs

Big Hugs

Yes I know I hugged you earlier, I like hugs.

I have a bad mom story about my mother, that my sister mentioned at her wedding.

When we were smallies my mom ran a play group, and had a store room where the toys were kept, cleaning supplies, the usual stuff.
My sister went in to put some toys away that had been left out. She always was a good girl, while I was the brat.
While she was putting the toys back on the shelf, my mom spotted a rodent.
Now my mom is terrified of rodents, even a field mouse makes her jump on a chair. She thought it might be a rat, so instead of calling my sister out or pulling her our she did something else.
She sent me, her eldest child to go into that room with a rat in it, and bring my sister back out. She even told me there was a rat in there.
I strode in feeling all Big Sister Bad Ass and brought my sister out in a few moments. My sister was very happy because she'd put away the toys, totally unaware that there could have been a rat within a few feet of her.

So my mother sent a child old enough to be at a play group to bring another child 2 years younger out of a room with a rat, rather then go in and do it herself.

That's my Bad Mom story. Not as lethal as yours, but there ya go.

10 May 2021

Darling Rachel,
Sending you every loving thought, every healing spell, and all the protective chants I can find.

Take care of yourself, stay out of the Think Tank, and be with those lovely kitties and fabulous Kate.

May the Goddess watch over you both, keep you ever safe and Heal you swiftly.
For all the little ways you make Lush what it is, the ways you nudge us to be better people and writers, those loving arms to have held so many of us when we needed them.

I send you all my love, my prayers, and my bestest squishiest hugs.

10 May 2021

The soft click clack of heels heralds her arrival. Pushing her sunglasses onto the top of her head she looks around slowly and winces at the state of the place.
She stamps her foot calls out in a strange language, and gives a long high pitched whistle. Two small humanoid creatures with bark skin, sap brown eyes and ivy strands for hair seem to rise from the floor and hover before her.

She points around the room and makes a series of orders in a strange language. In seconds the strange creatures are racing around the room, gathering up rubbish and putting it into neat piles.

Striding through the activity like this is perfectly normal she walks behind the bar and checks everything is as it should be.
Fortunately Curvy had been looking after BB and the boiler didn't take long to get running again.

The thick pungent sludge was removed from the boiler and put to one side for the real caffeine addicts. A bag of Italian roasted beans is opened and poured into the huge hopper ready to make fresh coffee.

Making a complicated gesture in the air and chanting in a low melodic ritual , a small rain cloud forms above the boiler and starts to rain heavily into it. Tiny lightning bolts flash within it and the heavy downpour fills the tank in a few minutes.

While the tank is being filled she cleans the big kettle and sets it open and ready to boil.

Another short command and the cloud drifts over to the massive kettle and rains into that too.
When the kettle is full, the lid snaps closed as though by an invisible hand.

Smoke pours from the carved wooden sign on the bar. The sign from The Witch is OUT to IN.

A wave her hand makes a tray of buttermilk fruit scones appear, and a big plate of generous biscuit cake squares.
Looking around she puts her sunglasses on the bar and runs her fingers through her hair flicking it out.

Good morning my drunken animals, I hope life is going well for you all.

A little dryad tells me our darling Sprite has had brain surgery recently.
I've a get well thread for her in the Occasions section, you don't have to sign it but I think it would be lovely to show her how much we all love A get well card for Sprite" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer">her.vOeKwaNkSOPrylZ2

The ever lovely Linda has joined us. Alas "Cuddles" the bear is probably off hunting seals or something, I'm sure he will be in shortly though.
Thank you for the sweeties, they won't be on the counter long they look far too yummy.

Lovely to hear the days are less of a freezing wasteland for you in Alaska.
Do be a dear and give the fireman a hug from us. He's such a nice guy, he deserves one.

Now you mentioned something about a drink. Let me make that happen.

Goodness I see so many of our amazing moderators have popped in. Somebody should have told me I'd have thrown out the empties and tried to make this run down dump slightly less of a health hazard.

Since we do have moderators, let's take a moment to give them a round of applause. They do so much for us, poke us to clean up our writing, turn a fire hose on us if we get too worked up, and do the thankless task of actually getting our scribbling efforts published.

=d> =d> =d> =d>

I'm slightly terrified to have such powerful people with us, and also very proud to be able to tell you how much you're appreciated.

Free drinks for our lovely moderators, they do so much and deserve to be spoiled a little.

9 May 2021

Happy mothers day you lovely folks.
Big squishy hugs to you all.

9 May 2021

Quote by VioletVixen

At risk of sounding standoffish, those stats are available as soon as the competition closes to anyone who wishes to put in the effort, but I would prefer quality over quantity (something an author with a following and good PR is more likely to obtain) of votes or views (views which are almost entirely dependent on the category).

There are other websites where the judging process relies heavily on (or only on) these stats and although I don't always agree with all the top ten stories that are chosen, I much prefer the decision rest with a panel who are looking for quality over what story managed to escape any '2's. There's also the theme which is always a bit vague and to be honest, I'm not sure if my story will be deemed to fit the 'foolish' theme as the humor is dark and the story tragic in its inevitability. No slapstick other than literal slapping to be found.

This competition pushed me to put in the effort to materialize an idea I'd had but been unable to articulate the way I wanted. It gave me the motivation to put in the effort to meet what I demanded of myself for which I'm proud of regardless of recognition or podium places. The first competition I entered was my challenge to myself to complete a story. Now, I have several that I've published here - something I wouldn't have been able to fathom not even a week before creating an account on lush.

More importantly, competitions are great ways to form a following of readers who enjoy your style. I've discovered some of my favorite authors on here through reading competition stories/ poems - authors I wouldn't have known otherwise. These are supposed to be fun and not to be taken too seriously. I'm not sure how I'd feel if the stats became a much heavier factor as then it'd just be a popularity contest.

Thank you for listening to my TED talk.

Violet my dear you're quite right about competitions being good for finding new favourite authors.
I would say though that's because I don't take it so seriously or expect to win.
I just take the challenge to write something I wouldn't usually do, and see how it goes.

Frankly though I'm jealous of those who can throw a story in early ,my poor muse always takes so long to warm up.
Perhaps because of sometimes tight word count limits, a deadline to get it done in and pushing the boundaries of what is usually written sometimes it isn't that authors finest work.
I mean I'm proud of my comp entries because they damn well pushed me to be brave, I can't always say it's my best work though.
I also noticed that it's my 2nd comp entry about straight people.
Violet dear is my muse on the turn.

8 May 2021

Quote by lynnwitt
WHAT?????? It's PORN????? I though it was as series of documentaries......

I've got a cam corder, call your girl and let's make our own documentary.

8 May 2021

Girls night! Count me in.

8 May 2021

Quote by RumpleForeskin

And speaking of subjectivity, Michelle wrote:
Ooh so do you, we could almost be twins. Fine, you can be the pretty one and I can be the slutty one.,

To which I opined: Ms Skald, to label me 'the pretty one' would require a suspension of disbelief few if any Lushers will ever achieve. But thanks anyway. ;)

:

Well Bill the masked Judges can use any criteria they like filtering this lot is going to be brutal.
There's always someone who feels they got cut out however they do it.
I reckon anyone who wears that judging mask has to atone for a whole lot of terrible crimes.
It's a thankless job and for so little reward. They're all my heroes.

As for us, you haven't seen the matching girl scout outfits I had made.

But seriously, don't listen to that lying voice in the mirror. You my dear are as handsome as can be.
I'm just glad there isn't a swimsuit section. Mine shrunk in the wash ok.
That's my defence and I'm sticking to it.

8 May 2021

Snap went her fingers and my panties hit the floor in seconds .

8 May 2021

Slightly horny and feeling mighty fine