Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Snap went her fingers and my panties hit the floor in seconds .
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Twisted_Skald
Over 90 days ago
Lesbian Cis Female, 49
Ireland
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Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Slightly horny and feeling mighty fine
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by KimmiBeGood
Morning Rumpies!
Hi, sweet Michelle, can you wave your wand and cool my burning face please. And where is Kis, and her soothing creams? This time I need them applied to my head ... not my tail
My face is burnt, swollen, and stuck in "bitch face"Feelin' pretty, oh so pretty ... NOT!
I am showing this pic as the "before" and a reminder to myself to wear sunscreen from now on after I get my new baby skin. A rough night, but worth it. The procedure is photodynamic therapy and I highly recommend if you have ever had a skin cancer or have had any sun damage ... will heal any abnormal cells lurking below the skin. I should now be cancer free.
Barkeep, more ice please ... I will be in the corner so I don't scare the customers...
Kimmi darling I may be a very kinky woman but I'd give you my number if you winked at me.
..blows a kiss..
As for cooling that face.
.. Waves a hand and summons a cool damp cloth that floats gently onto your face..
You asked nicely and you get what you ask for.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by JamesLlewellyn
Morning all!
You might be deceived by my handsome, devilish good looks – not to mention my extreme modesty – but I'm quite the nerd.
I believe in an effort to promote greater transparency, the judges have allowed all the relevant information to be posted for this competition in the name of transparency, and I applaude that decision.
I have assembled a modest spreadsheet of the same, sorted first by number of views (all over the map – quite astonishing, really), then by number of comments, finally by scores. That last is not absolutely accurate, because anything over 4.995 is rounded up to 5, and some of the 5's are actually .
Nevertheless, there are a number of Rumplies represented. Well done all who entered!
Off to run some errands and do some specialty store shopping!
Wow James, I thought I was keeping the middle of the table warm with barely 2k views.
Some surprisingly low viewer figures for some entries.
I think every single entrant is a winner, for facing down that blank page and showing who is boss.
I'm very impressed by the calibre of first time entrants like Wiha, Verity and Armanac did extremely well.
At least I know they're first time entrants, there are bound to be others I don't know as first timers.
I'm not expecting to be on the judges hot list, standing anxiously to wait if I'm on the podium or just in the top slice of the entrants. I'm only expecting my shiny competitors badge and strutting with it proudly.
There are a few of you on that list who can expect to make that final list, maybe even get a trophy.
Best of luck and I'm rooting for you all.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Struts into the bar, blowing kisses as she gets to the bar.
Empties Big Bertha, keeping the sludge for Carl and the caffeine junkies. Refills with some Hawaiian roast beans, and lots of mountain fresh water.
Places a soft kiss on BB, and polishes her nozzle for being a good...coffee maker.
Cleans out the big kettle and refills it, setting it to boil.
Switches the sign from The Witch is OUT to IN.
Wiggles fingers and summons a dryad to get the washing up done, while a second whirls round the room driving all the rubbish into a pile, before feeding it to an earth elemental.
Good morning my drunken animals, I hope life is going well for you all.
Kimmi darling you are a priceless pearl and I'm so thrilled to see you back with us.
Oh that burning your getting on your ears is the sheer fangirl squee you inspire in those who love you.
Yes I really would pay money to see James and Carl fangirl squee.
SD, it isn't much but may the Goddess bless you and yours with long life, good health and lots of joy.
I would say the same to Kimmi but I've been chanting that particular little prayer all day yesterday.
I think she might be suspecting I'm a little fond of her and might possibly wish her well.
Sshh don't tell her.
Be incredibly nice and kind to each other folks. With the world how it is and comp scores out people may be a little fragile this weekend.
Big squishy hugs and kisses to you all.
Empties Big Bertha, keeping the sludge for Carl and the caffeine junkies. Refills with some Hawaiian roast beans, and lots of mountain fresh water.
Places a soft kiss on BB, and polishes her nozzle for being a good...coffee maker.
Cleans out the big kettle and refills it, setting it to boil.
Switches the sign from The Witch is OUT to IN.
Wiggles fingers and summons a dryad to get the washing up done, while a second whirls round the room driving all the rubbish into a pile, before feeding it to an earth elemental.
Good morning my drunken animals, I hope life is going well for you all.
Kimmi darling you are a priceless pearl and I'm so thrilled to see you back with us.
Oh that burning your getting on your ears is the sheer fangirl squee you inspire in those who love you.
Yes I really would pay money to see James and Carl fangirl squee.
SD, it isn't much but may the Goddess bless you and yours with long life, good health and lots of joy.
I would say the same to Kimmi but I've been chanting that particular little prayer all day yesterday.
I think she might be suspecting I'm a little fond of her and might possibly wish her well.
Sshh don't tell her.
Be incredibly nice and kind to each other folks. With the world how it is and comp scores out people may be a little fragile this weekend.
Big squishy hugs and kisses to you all.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by RumpleForeskin
Now hear this!
The deadline has come and gone for entries in the Foolish contest. Now everyone can check out what sort of score their scribbling received.
You may now return to your unusual moaning and groaning whether from pain or pleasure or both.
Anybody want a drink?
Oh Bill I know what score I got, call me Miss in the Middle.
Not the firebreathers of the top 10 but not as cool as the ones at the bottom.
Suits me for now, besides I get a nifty competitor badge and get to strut like a champ.
Ooh so do you, we could almost be twins. Fine, you can be the pretty one and I can be the slutty one.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by kistinspencil
I'd be lousy at it and the Girls Out West are yummy. I fast-forward the men.
That's because you didn't have the right playmates let's get the girls together, lock the doors and ravage each other.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by 00hyeah
That women have to please a lot and they don't get pleased back.
Now you sound like a top dealing with a very lazy bedroom princess.
Groans. Gods they're trying.
Oh Iearned that some women can go from sitting on a bench minding their own business to being on their back with their legs in the air and no undies within 30 seconds of a well hung stud or bossy woman telling them to.
That you can make a woman cum with 3 minutes of licking her and a man can last a whole bank holiday getting his cock sucked and pounding a woman's holes. Then only cum once ,on cue ,right at the end.
Where do they find these people?
I've never known a man last an hour never mind that long.
Some of them came before the Dominos guy brought dinner.
30 minutes was too much for 'em.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Wow, thats a deep question.
If it were me I'd pop round for a chat. Keep it casual and ask how things are going.
Then ask him if he wants any company while they're apart. Watch sports together or play a board game just to have company.
If you do spend some time together you can bring up being bi.
Remember just because you think they're attractive doesnt mean they want to share.
I'm not averse to a threesome or 2 but my wife is very monogamous.
Ask her to count you as a playmate and you're at best getting a baffled head shake, at worst a polar blizzard of a look.
Oh and I'm pretty sure there's a colour that shows your bi, check online and wear the pin to be extra subtle.
I'm dreadful at remembering the colours.
I remember yellow is non binary.
Umm Google says its purple. Blue for straight, red for gay, mix them and get purple.
New to me.
If it were me I'd pop round for a chat. Keep it casual and ask how things are going.
Then ask him if he wants any company while they're apart. Watch sports together or play a board game just to have company.
If you do spend some time together you can bring up being bi.
Remember just because you think they're attractive doesnt mean they want to share.
I'm not averse to a threesome or 2 but my wife is very monogamous.
Ask her to count you as a playmate and you're at best getting a baffled head shake, at worst a polar blizzard of a look.
Oh and I'm pretty sure there's a colour that shows your bi, check online and wear the pin to be extra subtle.
I'm dreadful at remembering the colours.
I remember yellow is non binary.
Umm Google says its purple. Blue for straight, red for gay, mix them and get purple.
New to me.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by utterchaos
On my reading list for tonight
I do love reading, hot, gay sex ? (don't judge me/kink shame ? I've had a tough day.)
Emma darling you deserve to read whatever makes you happy.
No kink shaming here.
Have a glorious weekend and put the drinks on my tab.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by Daddy_D
Man, I'd sure like to have a peek into that toybox....if they could only talk. It'd be like discovering the holy grail, or something kinky like that....
Oh, did I say that out loud?
Sneaking out, head held low....fucking pervert DD, now everybody knows.....dammit!
DD there is such a thing as Dominant courtesy.
You can borrow toys but bring them back clean and if you ask me nicely I may even talk shop with you too.
We can each teach the other something they didn't know before if we ask nicely, listen carefully and be open to new perspectives. At least that what Miss Valorie tells me and damn well insists I keep.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Congrats to Jai, and like Kimmi says; Thank you to all the mods and admins.
We may bitch and moan about some of the comments we get, but without you there'd be a wasteland.
Your hardwork, and dedication keeps the wheels turning and endless entertainment appears to keep us all enthralled.
We may bitch and moan about some of the comments we get, but without you there'd be a wasteland.
Your hardwork, and dedication keeps the wheels turning and endless entertainment appears to keep us all enthralled.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
There was Ryan the strutting peacock, my first.
Spineless wonder, I dated in college.
A mechanic, and a couple of one night stands.
Call it 5. I don't miss them.
3 of them just went down my throat and never even undressed me.
Spineless wonder, I dated in college.
A mechanic, and a couple of one night stands.
Call it 5. I don't miss them.
3 of them just went down my throat and never even undressed me.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Ooh she could wear plaid, scuffed jeans and sit on a bar stool manspreading.
Yes I did that too, yes I was experimenting with being butch.
Yes it really was incredibly liberating to be able to sit like that and not worry about flashing the bartender.
Yes, I get your point it's not really a sex fantasy. Yes, it's not really going to get the punters lining up.
Sheesh ok already I get the point.
Fine she can blow the guy and go for a hike without being allowed to swallow the cum.
That work better???
Sheesh you try your best to be helpful.
*wanders off muttering*
Yes I did that too, yes I was experimenting with being butch.
Yes it really was incredibly liberating to be able to sit like that and not worry about flashing the bartender.
Yes, I get your point it's not really a sex fantasy. Yes, it's not really going to get the punters lining up.
Sheesh ok already I get the point.
Fine she can blow the guy and go for a hike without being allowed to swallow the cum.
That work better???
Sheesh you try your best to be helpful.
*wanders off muttering*
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
It would appear so, or at least I can't find any alternatives.
No problem, will roll with it.
Toodles.
No problem, will roll with it.
Toodles.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Thank you ladies.
I like to be helpful to Rev Rumps, I am one of his bartenders after all.
You're wonderfully patient and helpful.
Much love.
I like to be helpful to Rev Rumps, I am one of his bartenders after all.
You're wonderfully patient and helpful.
Much love.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by kistinspencil
Ewwww! No. I think that's something James passed after the St Patrick's Day party. Just the sort of thing he'd keep as a trophy.
Meanwhile, until Rita's Ravager is returned, I am taking the Purple Penis Pilsner pull from the bar and using that. It's time for breakfast and I'm thirsty.
WOAH WOAH WOAH..
Hang on there a minute missy.
Nobody told me one of the beer pulls was a feeldoe. I've been bringing one to work this whole time. Golly is my face red.
I can't let you take the beer pull, Curvy and Tonya would have my hide.
I can however let you have the key to my toybox and you can have one of mine.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by Stormdog
They could put on a show for another hiker couple they meet on the trail - James perhaps touching Sara and perhaps (with her help) bringing her to orgasm while their new friends watch. In my mind, the new friends get so aroused that they too begin to have sex with each other and Sara can see what her display inspired between the couple.
There's always the "cum walk" with her colored and stained shirt and maybe her chin displaying the results of her efforts, or walking thru a public place with it running down her thighs beneath a very short skirt and wondering if anyone noticed.
If tent or 'under the stars' camping, a loud and erotic audio-only sex show could be put on for a neighboring camper.
Edit: (Oops, just realized this was in ask the gals. My bad!)
Ahem
*sticks a cheap blonde wig with pigtails on your head and a party store cheerleaders outfit *
You were saying...SISTER???
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Oh my stars. I leave you boys unwatched for a few hours and you get up to mischief.
How am I going to explain to the sublime Madam Curvy that greedy polar bear ate all the pastries??
Hmmmm.
Do I need to turn you back into being a man instead of a bear?
Hmmmm.
Honestly it's a good thing I don't have to live with you two I'd be knocking your heads together every five minutes.
Oh Goddess I thank You for making me queer.
Ahem.
It appears someone accidentally borrowed a feeldoe. I'm not naming any names but I did find it in Store room 3, Where someone was trying to force the cage where I@m making apple bra....I mean special fruit based medicine. I trust this is the mysterous item.
How am I going to explain to the sublime Madam Curvy that greedy polar bear ate all the pastries??
Hmmmm.
Do I need to turn you back into being a man instead of a bear?
Hmmmm.
Honestly it's a good thing I don't have to live with you two I'd be knocking your heads together every five minutes.
Oh Goddess I thank You for making me queer.
Ahem.
It appears someone accidentally borrowed a feeldoe. I'm not naming any names but I did find it in Store room 3, Where someone was trying to force the cage where I@m making apple bra....I mean special fruit based medicine. I trust this is the mysterous item.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by JamesLlewellyn
And may I ask for everyone's kindest thoughts for Kimmi today? No explanation given, sorry.
Rump, sorry I didn't at least put water on for tea, was rushing a bit. I'll do better next time!
James my dear I think some of us are already on our knees, granted for many different reasons. I have been sending great chants of prayers for the lovely ladies here Emma and Kimmi.
They are sweet beyond words, and nasty people who disagree get turned into cookies and given to littleys.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by utterchaos
Just finished my appointment. Wasn't the best fun with it taking 30 mins for each limb, and my legs weren't being very responsive, which meant it had to be turned up. I can only describe it as akin to hit your funny bone, every second, but in the inner ankles. Simultaneously you have to stay perfectly relaxed and pretend it isn't happening. The wrist was the least painful, although the lady doing it kept forgetting to turn it down when she swapped over which was startling.
4/10 probably won't do it again.
Emma darling I was chanting for you all day. Sorry it was a hellish time, but glad you got through hit. Sending big hugs and much love.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
I always do if I've been penetrated. I think it's the friction stimulating a nerve that makes me need to go.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Yes more than once. Though if you have an egg in you it's sometimes possible to pretend you're annoyed by something and storm out of the room. I'm not always sure I pulled it off, but I sure did it that way more then once.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
The men in my life thought it was pretty much their privilege to be rough when they wanted to.
It didn't turn me on much, but it did give me a reliable countdown to when they were going to pop their load.
Leaving me time to put in my much celebrated and often admired performance of woman being fucked silly.
Eye rolling, sheet clenching, dribbling, loud moans, and always telling them they make Ron Jeremy look like he's got a picked slug between his legs. Finishing with a loud piercing scream that made the neighbour banshee proud, to make them feel like a sexual athlete.
They fall asleep feeling like a King and I get the Minds Eye Theatre Camarilla guide from under the bed. While he snores I get to brush up on my mechanics and Lore. I'm going to boss this Elysium on Saturday.
It didn't turn me on much, but it did give me a reliable countdown to when they were going to pop their load.
Leaving me time to put in my much celebrated and often admired performance of woman being fucked silly.
Eye rolling, sheet clenching, dribbling, loud moans, and always telling them they make Ron Jeremy look like he's got a picked slug between his legs. Finishing with a loud piercing scream that made the neighbour banshee proud, to make them feel like a sexual athlete.
They fall asleep feeling like a King and I get the Minds Eye Theatre Camarilla guide from under the bed. While he snores I get to brush up on my mechanics and Lore. I'm going to boss this Elysium on Saturday.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Back in the day I sure liked it. I didn't need to use protection, could do it pretty much anywhere and it didn't take long at all.
I also got a kick out of the fact I had him in my power. If he annoyed me or pushed too hard I resorted to using my teeth, sometimes gently sometimes not so much. Sometimes I think it should be a PSA don't annoy the person with your cock in their mouth. Teeth can be very painful on such a sensitive place.
I also found that if your lover is terrible in the sack, if you suck him off he got what he wanted and leaves the rest of the evening free for you to do what makes you happy. Now where did I put my killa khan model?
I also got a kick out of the fact I had him in my power. If he annoyed me or pushed too hard I resorted to using my teeth, sometimes gently sometimes not so much. Sometimes I think it should be a PSA don't annoy the person with your cock in their mouth. Teeth can be very painful on such a sensitive place.
I also found that if your lover is terrible in the sack, if you suck him off he got what he wanted and leaves the rest of the evening free for you to do what makes you happy. Now where did I put my killa khan model?
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Well I have 3 naughty little mental images that might work.
1. Face painting. Slowly edge her by stroking your clit and her pussy. Then paint her face with the juice. Could be tiger stripes, or a butterfly, or just to paint her eyelids and lips like it's her makeup. The point being that it's not something you can easily do yourself and it's highly arousing.
2. Writing you name. Take the girl as hard as you both dare, then take the shared fluids and write your name on her body. It could be just on her belly, but it could be all over her body. Dipping your fingers between her legs for fresh ink. That way it's invisible, but until she washes it off, she's walking around with your name all over her. This body is YOURS.
3. Squeeze it tight. Get a smooth clean item, glass beads or something similar. Put them in either her ass r her pussy and make her keep it there. Just carry on as normal but when the day is over, have her drop her shorts, bend over and put your hand in her. If you can take out the item, she gets a reward. If you can't she gets a spanking for being a careless girl.
Do feel free to ignore it but I thought they're silly sexy things you can do outdoors, don't need a crowd and are highly personal.
Yes I've done all of these and the women involved never forgot what it meant.
1. Face painting. Slowly edge her by stroking your clit and her pussy. Then paint her face with the juice. Could be tiger stripes, or a butterfly, or just to paint her eyelids and lips like it's her makeup. The point being that it's not something you can easily do yourself and it's highly arousing.
2. Writing you name. Take the girl as hard as you both dare, then take the shared fluids and write your name on her body. It could be just on her belly, but it could be all over her body. Dipping your fingers between her legs for fresh ink. That way it's invisible, but until she washes it off, she's walking around with your name all over her. This body is YOURS.
3. Squeeze it tight. Get a smooth clean item, glass beads or something similar. Put them in either her ass r her pussy and make her keep it there. Just carry on as normal but when the day is over, have her drop her shorts, bend over and put your hand in her. If you can take out the item, she gets a reward. If you can't she gets a spanking for being a careless girl.
Do feel free to ignore it but I thought they're silly sexy things you can do outdoors, don't need a crowd and are highly personal.
Yes I've done all of these and the women involved never forgot what it meant.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by Green_Man
It is getting upsetting when people seem to disappear. I know they have to at times, but it really does a number on me when they are gone.
Anyway, if they read this please come back home. You are missed.
Larry my dear some people really dislike conflict, or feel that they're so worthless they won't be missed.
Now you and I know that's total garbage, but that doesn't mean they don't feel it.
Some will return when life settles down, some will just walk away and write this place off as a place they don't belong.
Hope tells me not to over think it, people will do what they wish to do.
Today they may storm out swearing not to return, 6 months down the line or a year they way find their way back again.
Just don't sit up all night waiting for their return. When they do return, give them a great big hug, a kiss on the cheek and tell the you missed them.
I always get a kick out of knowing people missed me, especially if I don't feel I'm one of the Golden Circle.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Good morning Bitches, Bastards and Denegrates.
The Blonde Bombshell is back to rock your world and kick some ass.
*Looks at the script and sighs* Really? Do I really need to talk like this?
Feck it.
*throws script in the air, sending pages flying everywhere*
Right you horrible lot. It's Friday, we've all had a bitch of a week.
Let's drink some tea, eat some pastry, flirt like fiends and have a damn good time.
*pins a notice behind the bar. Wanted queer redhead for bondage sessions, exploring nipple clamps, being fucked where others can see, and learning how to be a filthy whore. Will pay in bar credit and huge orgasms. May also teach spells. Please leave your number with the bartender on duty. Timewasters will be turned into frogs for a day. *
Ahem...I've been scribbling away nicely. Certain people may recognize some of the upcoming stories as being based on their own particular fantasies. NAturally they get to see the pre release version to sign off on the filthy details. I also change names to protect the kinky.
I hope you lot are having a fab time.
Oh and as a special treat for DD and those sexy gals of his, I've left a basket of non fat pastries under the bar. They're made with magic, taste marvelous and never add an inch to the figure. Don't be greedy.
The Blonde Bombshell is back to rock your world and kick some ass.
*Looks at the script and sighs* Really? Do I really need to talk like this?
Feck it.
*throws script in the air, sending pages flying everywhere*
Right you horrible lot. It's Friday, we've all had a bitch of a week.
Let's drink some tea, eat some pastry, flirt like fiends and have a damn good time.
*pins a notice behind the bar. Wanted queer redhead for bondage sessions, exploring nipple clamps, being fucked where others can see, and learning how to be a filthy whore. Will pay in bar credit and huge orgasms. May also teach spells. Please leave your number with the bartender on duty. Timewasters will be turned into frogs for a day. *
Ahem...I've been scribbling away nicely. Certain people may recognize some of the upcoming stories as being based on their own particular fantasies. NAturally they get to see the pre release version to sign off on the filthy details. I also change names to protect the kinky.
I hope you lot are having a fab time.
Oh and as a special treat for DD and those sexy gals of his, I've left a basket of non fat pastries under the bar. They're made with magic, taste marvelous and never add an inch to the figure. Don't be greedy.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Ahem Rumps mentioned this so passing it on.
‐---------------
There may be a contest entry missing from the main page.
The Moonlit Cellar
scarletteweaver
The info appears on the listing of contest entries but not on my main page. It may be due to my screen reader acting even stranger than usual. But if you're on speaking terms with a mod, please pass this along.
-----------
So I'm passing it on in case some mighty admin needs to talk nicely to the backstage systems.
‐---------------
There may be a contest entry missing from the main page.
The Moonlit Cellar
scarletteweaver
The info appears on the listing of contest entries but not on my main page. It may be due to my screen reader acting even stranger than usual. But if you're on speaking terms with a mod, please pass this along.
-----------
So I'm passing it on in case some mighty admin needs to talk nicely to the backstage systems.