Twisted_Skald's Forum Posts

17 Dec 2020

Quote by delacruzinforjosh

Yes, it is. I know I don't look old enough to be 31, but I assure you I am.

You are gorgeous darling. Now werk that shirt so we can gag on how fierce you look.

Strut up and down the bar and let us holler at you.

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17 Dec 2020

Oops double post

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17 Dec 2020

You are a total star, may the stars always shine on you!

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17 Dec 2020

Dinner and dancing would be fun.

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17 Dec 2020

Quote by delacruzinforjosh
Now that all of the pictures are uploaded, I'd like to direct your attention to my birthday album: CLICK HERE.

...and now, I'm going to get some coffee in my new mug.

Xander darling, is that you in those sizzling photos?

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17 Dec 2020

Edwina Curry and her pegging tweet.
If anyone wants me I'm going to be guzzling wood alcohol till Iose my memory.

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17 Dec 2020

James I...I...oh Gawd.
That.... is positively...Obscene.

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17 Dec 2020

Quote by RumpleForeskin

In the last few hours, the following contest entries have appeared. Me, I've read the ones by Michelle and JayMal. So there's more reading left for me to do.

Just another fine free service of the managent and staff of, Rumplations Honky-Tonk and Cyber Bar, Uninc.

Anybody need a drink?

Bill you are such a sweetie Big Hugs

I've read James' little poem and I need something to clean my mind.
I would ask for industrial drain cleaner but a large Jamesons for James and a triple rum for me.
Actually make that 2 triple rums.

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17 Dec 2020

Quote by Verbal
HUGS

Thanks for the will wishes Xan, James, .png, The Unquenchable Curvy, N-Annie, Carl, Skaldï, Bill, sprite, et al.

Hope this post finds everyone well. I gotta work.

Oh, and a suggestion for you newbies here: order a drink when you visit! It's a bar!

I'd love a köffee.

because you asked so nicely for it.

Have a wonderful final week at work and well done for raising 2 amazing young women.
Big Hugs

Because I like giving them

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17 Dec 2020

Has wonderful taste in gloves

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17 Dec 2020

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

So … tell us about this carrot event that we're not supposed to ask about …

Ask me nicely and I might turn it into a flash tale. I have a lot of filthy little moments from my life, I usually win at fireside confessions.
When you can happily admit you've had your cunt eaten by a midget at pride and didn't have to lift your hem..THAT wins the prize.

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17 Dec 2020

Quote by JamesLlewellyn
(Mournfully)… I've had my first outright rejection of a piece…

Deck the Whore with Stripes of Crimson

Let the news go far and wide – James' first story reject is NOT available in stores, so order direct today!

Um James, I ...I don't know how to put this.
I've danced almost naked on a bar in public, I've fucked in a graveyard, and I've let a girl tie me up and put a carrot in me (don't ask) but THAT made me blush.
Properly, full faced, blush.
I'm...beyond words.

Gawd I need a drink.

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17 Dec 2020

Poppa time, is special time and always to be cherished. I'm sure you will get your runs in, just letting you know I'm cheering you on.

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17 Dec 2020

Daft little question, can we add an image to a published work without it needing to be re-verified?

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17 Dec 2020

You are a fabulous human being. Now I have somewhere to loot for images, and maybe tweak some of them before uploading.
I love you people.

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17 Dec 2020

I mean I'm not exactly pumping the air over it, but it's a heck of a lot better then a lot of the image retouches I've done. Still that's 3 technical challenges done , well 4 since I had to redo Challenge 3.
I think I can put my brushes down for the day and get back to writing.
Here little muse.

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17 Dec 2020

Looks like I misread the challenge 3 rules. Had to redo the whole thing.

Created background

Used stock model

Created image

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17 Dec 2020

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

Hey, Carl – watch it there! I was under those party girls. And I'll have you know it was seven, not "a few". And it was quite a party…

Morning all – presuming that it IS morning. Haven't been able to get my eyes open yet. They seem gummed together.

Has the Skald sashayed in yet? I wonder if she's gone into hiding after her shameless, flagrant, filty, wonderful exhibition! (Oh, be still my heart, and please, Goddess – could I be a woman just long enough to be seduced by her?)

And greetings to everyone else! And if anyone finds a pair of red-bloody balls – they're my eyes! (And watch your filthy minds, y'all!)

James

The dryad told me someone mentioned my name, lovely to see you James.
The way you describe it makes it sound so utterly depraved, I'm almost sad I didn't write it up for the comp, it just didn't last 24 hours just a few minutes.
Still what's time in the mind of someone utterly consumed by lust and arousal.

Good morning you drunken animals.
While you lot have been snoozing in a stupor I've been learning how to paint digitally, I hear you snickering at the back Bunny, I've even put my adventures on a thread here. So you can pop along and see how I learn to spin images into being. I've noticed the really popular tales out here have an image attached, and if I can make my own I can make them properly pop.

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17 Dec 2020

Defiant

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17 Dec 2020

Well I bought a copy of Paint Shop Pro 2020 recently on Humble Bundle and figured I learn how to use the thing.
So I found a board with image editors who create avatars, I haven't had a class yet, but I'm hoping to learn something.

I got a scared of the challenge when I saw the sheer caliber of work some of them walk around in, when my pilot test had 3 layers and some have 25 + layers I went and sucked my thumb for a while.
I had a lovely fist fight with the installer and had to pummel into obedience, but I managed it.

So I logged into the training school and someone left the Level 1 master assignments up.
When you feel Fear and you're properly Angry with the bloody tool you have to use, you don't stop to think if the challenge is too great.
So I bunched up my fists, screamed my war cry and jumped off the cliff.

For the technical I had to merge 2 images ( I can't share them here), use the lighting tool to brighten it up, add a figure from their library (again I can't share the original). Put a text message on it, bevel the text and add a shadow.
I added 2 text elements, shadows, beveling and used a metallic font.

So ladies and gents,this is the Skald's first Technical Challenge submission.
Not bad for 2 hours work and a brief trot through the Corel Academy to see what the buttons did.

While I'm on this crazy adventure you can all comment below if you like.

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17 Dec 2020

Show that road who's the Boss Jack, pound it beneath your feet.

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16 Dec 2020

Has the filthiest mind, the warmest smile and is super kind too.

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16 Dec 2020

Now I may be a Silly Goose but I see lots of work here with images.
I'm fairly sure I can't just bounce off to a search engine grab the first image I can find and throw it up here.
Is there some preferred source for them, or do people really just grab an image and throw it here?

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16 Dec 2020

Quote by Green_Man

That is also why the gentlemen in the crowd are wishing they were "ladies in the crowd" but happy to simply get to look.

Boys can be boring, but this Lady is always happy to hear a proper gentleman stamp his foot and whistle to celebrate her Goddess given gifts when she puts on a display. They may not be my type for the bedroom but a world without the All Fathers True Sons, would be a world too dull to bear for long.

Blows a kiss

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16 Dec 2020

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

I did.

P.S. Do I get to keep the vest?

I think you've got my bra, though you can trade it with Ms Curvy for the vest.

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16 Dec 2020

Quote by Green_Man

That is also why the gentlemen in the crowd are wishing they were "ladies in the crowd" but happy to simply get to look.

When I did this in Galway, I did keep my top on and my bra, but the rest it true. I put some old guys off their pints, some young men whooped hoping I might come their way, and my Witch sisters cheered like the wild women they were. I also didn't get off the bar like that, I snogged the barmaid on my knees on top of the bar, because she gave me a saucy wink.
Never give a saucy wink to a woman dancing on a bar, you're only going to get kissed. I half pulled that girl across the bar and kissed her hard until she squeaked. When you've been kissed by a woman that let you have a good look at what's under that skirt, before she kissed you. You know you've been bloody kissed.

It also gave rise to a circle Maxim.
Beware a Skald on her knees, she's only after one thing. With the additional entry, a Skald on her knees is always in charge.

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16 Dec 2020

Shameless

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16 Dec 2020

Quote by JamesLlewellyn

Is that for news of your impend bar-dancing, or instead of watching you dancing on the bar.

The world wants to know…

Look upwards sweet James, and prepare yourself.

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16 Dec 2020

I promised if I managed to reach my stretch goal, I'd give you drunken rabble a special treat, and as we, all know a Skald always pays her debts.

Takes a moment to summon a dryad to clear a path through the filth, to the Ladies room to change outfit. Emerges a few moments later in red DM boots, black fishnet stockings, a heavy black velvet flared skirt and red leather vest. Pulling on a pair of red leather fingerless gloves, before running my fingers through my hair shaking it out a little. Taking a moment to walk over to Carl's DJ booth, slipping a fifty and a small USB stick into his hand.

Ladies and gentlemen, Lords and Ladies, drunk and the sober, chaste and the slutty, I give you for one night only the Infamous dancing Skald's interpretation of Stevie Nicks' Classic Rooms on Fire. In memory of Witches on Tour 2016 to Galway when we all learned that giving a Skald chocolate covered coffee beans and rum shots makes for a dangerous combination.

I turn my back to the room, I wiggle my fingers beside my hips, and prepare for the fun to begin.
The track starts playing and I swing my hips from side to side with the beat of the music. My arms sweep out and up like the wings of a swan, my arms gracefully curving upwards, and my fingers pointing to the ceiling. I turn to face the room, my hands move down to my hips and my fingers flowed up my sides, like a lovers caress. I cross swiftly over my chest, giving myself a brief but firm hug.
My knees bend and I dropped low before creating a slow rippling wave as I rise that flows from my boots through my straightening knees, my hands grip the hem of the skirt swishing it high giving a teasing look at my bare ass, and up through my arching back.
High kicking my way down the room, giving myself a little room from the bar, before turning, and running at it. I leap into the air, one boot landing on the seat of a stool launching me onto the bar top. I turn to face the room again, pumping my hands in the air as the excitement builds.
I grip the hem of the skirt in both hands I kick my way down the length of the bar, swishing the skirt wildly giving everyone a good view of my quite beautiful secret garden.
My red nails gleaming as they slowly drew upwards from my ankles, leaving brief little flashes of colour on my thighs, reaching my hips and floating in the air.
I reach into the vest to pull out a pair of purple mesh knickers, spinning them by the waistband from my finger, giving the room a saucy look I toss them towards Bunny with a sly wink.

I throw my head back, my hair sailing over my shoulder and roll my hips seductively. Clapping my hands together to get the room going, then kicking my way down the bar again, giving the other side of the room a good look of what's under my skirt.
I take a moment to reach into the leather vest pulling out a bra, twirling it in the air for a moment for all to see then flicking it in the air towards James. I run my fingers through my hair like a lovers caress and give a slutty wanton groan that made a few peoples drinks tinkle alarmingly.
I turn my back to the audience; I cross my arms in front of my chest, grip the hem of the leather vest and pull it up over my head. I let it sway in the air for a moment, before skimming it through the air towards Ms Curvy.
I rock my hips from side to side , I tilt my hips forwards, grip the hem of the skirt and pull it upwards, mooning the audience for a moment, giving a flirtatious look in the mirror behind the bar to the crowd. I playfully spank my ass, making my cheeks wobble seductively.
At the slow section, I turn around, run my fingers up my body, giving my tits a jiggle, and give the look a sultry look, pointing my fingers into the crowd as I sweep them across the room. I bounce down the bar, pointing at people as I go, letting them know I know all about magic. I tease them that maybe I might show them some, if they catch my eye. I punch the air as I bounce back up the bar, revelling in my power as a wild wanton woman. The skirt skipping as I bounce, giving flashes of fishnet covered knees and thighs.
As the song starts to wind down, I give the crowd a saucy look then launch myself from the bar, skirt flying showing everything, before landing heaving on my boots.
I turn to my left, blowing kisses at the audience, giving them my best smouldering sex pot look, before repeating the trick to my right.

That my friends is why you don't give a Skald chocolate covered coffee beans, 3 shots of rum, and a Stevie Nicks track.

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16 Dec 2020

Seeing as I've achieved my stretch goal for the year, I think I promised to dance on the bar, without undies, and wearing only my boots and my swishable velvet skirt.
Now the question is, how much detail do you crazy folks want?
Just a tiny few lines to say I do it, or perhaps sometimes longer?

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