Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Has a hair cut to make other men jealous.
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Twisted_Skald
Over 90 days ago
Lesbian Cis Female, 48
Ireland
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Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
The guys I knew were absolutely plum line straight so this would never ever happen.
If it happened to me now I'd have myself checked for hallucinations.
If it happened to me now I'd have myself checked for hallucinations.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Well it's been a long long time since I've done this so I'm going to keep my response fairly short.
Start with a raw cocktail sausage, it isn't very big, very stiff, or very interesting. That's what I remember as the sleeping stage of a cock.
When it starts to wake up a little it turns into a breakfast sausage. It's bigger, wider, slightly stiffer, it's very flexible and you can make it dance if you have a mind to.
Though he might complain if you don't take his mighty rod seriously, sighs and rolls eyes. Men can be such babies at times.
Cook the sausage and let it go completely cold.
That's what an erect cock is like. It's much stiffer, much less flexible. There should be a ridge of a vein along one side of it, but a sausage probably won't have that.
In the ideal world I'd put a mushroom under your nose for a few seconds so you get a whiff of something musky, slightly like dog fur, a little foresty.
That's what I remember as man musk, some are stronger scented , others weaker but it's a good starting point.
Now how it feels to have a cock in your throat, put the cooked sausage into your mouth and press it against the back of your mouth.
Your gag reflex will kick in, and you need to swallow to let it relax and push the sausage into your throat.
You can't hold it there for long, as you can't breath when it's in there. So hold it for a second or two then take it out.
You're going to gag, cough up spittle and phlegm. You're going to retch a little too.
Keep doing that and little by little you can take the sausage down your throat for longer and longer.
Now when he's shot his load down your throat, hold the sausage there for a few seconds to let it slide down your throat. Then pull the sausage back into your mouth. Leave it sit there for a few moments. Then slowly pull it out of your mouth, wrapping your lips tightly around the sausage to suck back the drool and remaining fluid. Let it pop out of your mouth and watch it turn back into a raw breakfast sausage and then back to a raw cocktail sausage.
The slurping part is to prevent any embarrassing drips on your clothing. You can always brush your teeth or gargle with mouth wash to conceal what you've done, but drips on your top will give you away every time.
That's about the best real world description I can give about what it's like.
Now for a reference to fluids, I'd go with something like squirty salad cream with a pinch of salt as a reference for thicker cum, and add water till it becomes runny like a soup for the more watery form. Then again I'm going with a very very old recollection so I may be wrong.
For me I preferred going down on him, mostly because the men I knew were completely hopeless at making me cum. I could make them pop down my throat in a few minutes and get on with the rest of my evening. There's nothing like having an hour of your evening back to paint a Killer Kan knowing your boyfriend is happily floating in post sex bliss in another room watching the football with a tin of beer. Now where did I put my magnifier.
Sucking cock was a lot like doing the washing up or the laundry. It's a task that has to be done, putting it off only makes it a bigger job. Much better to get stuck in, do it properly and with intensity so you get the rest of your day back. Now if you ask me to talk about going down on women it's a much more emotive experience for me and could go on for pages.
Start with a raw cocktail sausage, it isn't very big, very stiff, or very interesting. That's what I remember as the sleeping stage of a cock.
When it starts to wake up a little it turns into a breakfast sausage. It's bigger, wider, slightly stiffer, it's very flexible and you can make it dance if you have a mind to.
Though he might complain if you don't take his mighty rod seriously, sighs and rolls eyes. Men can be such babies at times.
Cook the sausage and let it go completely cold.
That's what an erect cock is like. It's much stiffer, much less flexible. There should be a ridge of a vein along one side of it, but a sausage probably won't have that.
In the ideal world I'd put a mushroom under your nose for a few seconds so you get a whiff of something musky, slightly like dog fur, a little foresty.
That's what I remember as man musk, some are stronger scented , others weaker but it's a good starting point.
Now how it feels to have a cock in your throat, put the cooked sausage into your mouth and press it against the back of your mouth.
Your gag reflex will kick in, and you need to swallow to let it relax and push the sausage into your throat.
You can't hold it there for long, as you can't breath when it's in there. So hold it for a second or two then take it out.
You're going to gag, cough up spittle and phlegm. You're going to retch a little too.
Keep doing that and little by little you can take the sausage down your throat for longer and longer.
Now when he's shot his load down your throat, hold the sausage there for a few seconds to let it slide down your throat. Then pull the sausage back into your mouth. Leave it sit there for a few moments. Then slowly pull it out of your mouth, wrapping your lips tightly around the sausage to suck back the drool and remaining fluid. Let it pop out of your mouth and watch it turn back into a raw breakfast sausage and then back to a raw cocktail sausage.
The slurping part is to prevent any embarrassing drips on your clothing. You can always brush your teeth or gargle with mouth wash to conceal what you've done, but drips on your top will give you away every time.
That's about the best real world description I can give about what it's like.
Now for a reference to fluids, I'd go with something like squirty salad cream with a pinch of salt as a reference for thicker cum, and add water till it becomes runny like a soup for the more watery form. Then again I'm going with a very very old recollection so I may be wrong.
For me I preferred going down on him, mostly because the men I knew were completely hopeless at making me cum. I could make them pop down my throat in a few minutes and get on with the rest of my evening. There's nothing like having an hour of your evening back to paint a Killer Kan knowing your boyfriend is happily floating in post sex bliss in another room watching the football with a tin of beer. Now where did I put my magnifier.
Sucking cock was a lot like doing the washing up or the laundry. It's a task that has to be done, putting it off only makes it a bigger job. Much better to get stuck in, do it properly and with intensity so you get the rest of your day back. Now if you ask me to talk about going down on women it's a much more emotive experience for me and could go on for pages.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
For me it depends on what I'm being asked to do with them.
I enjoy teasing men in bars and semi public places, but I'm a very wicked woman.
I'm happy to talk about a whole lot of things with a man, if they're genuinely curious I can even talk about personal things.
As long as they treat me like a Lady, keep their hands to themselves and don't try to change my sexuality I'm perfectly happy to spend time with them.
I once had a very interesting 3 hour chat at an airport when our flight was delayed by fog about what it's like to be gay and how to know if you are.
He was a very conflicted young man and I hope I was able to help him better understand his nature.
If the question is would I bed any of them? Goodness no.
Miss Valorie complains I'm far too quick to lock a man in a cock cage as it is, and I'm far more brutal with a crop to them than I am with the girls. Though there is something to be said for rubbing Savlon into their welts. I love watching them shiver at the sudden flash of hot pain. The girls get lots of minding from me, the boys get a suck it up butter cup from me.
Is it any wonder I'm not allowed to play with the boys too often, cruel Miss Michelle makes them cry so.
I enjoy teasing men in bars and semi public places, but I'm a very wicked woman.
I'm happy to talk about a whole lot of things with a man, if they're genuinely curious I can even talk about personal things.
As long as they treat me like a Lady, keep their hands to themselves and don't try to change my sexuality I'm perfectly happy to spend time with them.
I once had a very interesting 3 hour chat at an airport when our flight was delayed by fog about what it's like to be gay and how to know if you are.
He was a very conflicted young man and I hope I was able to help him better understand his nature.
If the question is would I bed any of them? Goodness no.
Miss Valorie complains I'm far too quick to lock a man in a cock cage as it is, and I'm far more brutal with a crop to them than I am with the girls. Though there is something to be said for rubbing Savlon into their welts. I love watching them shiver at the sudden flash of hot pain. The girls get lots of minding from me, the boys get a suck it up butter cup from me.
Is it any wonder I'm not allowed to play with the boys too often, cruel Miss Michelle makes them cry so.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
That inspired letter series got you over the line. Bloody well done. Be properly proud of yourself and I hope you had a superb celebration for this achievement.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Goddess preserve me from idiots who don't read their process docs. If anyone needs me for the next 5 minutes I'm going to be twisting someone's ear and making them read the instructions again. Oh Goddess watch over Your children, some of them bloody need it.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Skips into the bar, punching the air and dancing across the floor. Boots knocking bottles and debris out of the way, Skirt twirling in the air as she crosses the floor.
Bouncing behind the bar, swift fingers checking everything is properly in its place, moving things around on autopilot until it's all in order. Slides across to Big Bertha, pops the lid open to check the state of the coffee machine.
Twists the filter out and empties Big Bertha, keeping the sludge for Carl and the caffeine junkies. Refills with some Italian Medium roast beans, and lots of mountain fresh water.
Places a soft kiss on BB, and polishes her nozzle for being a good girl.
Cleans out the big kettle and refills it, setting it to boil.
Switches the sign from The Witch is OUT to IN.
Puts two fingers in her mouth and gives a long high pitched whistle. A dozen squirrels run into the room, through the front door, the back door, down the chimney. Where did they all come from.
A single snap of her fingers sends them racing all round the room. Bottles are rolled out the back door,neatly put in rows. Trash is picked up and carried out the back door. Slowly the floor becomes visible and a few snoring bar flies are sprawled on the floor.
A second short whistle results in the tinkling sound of a cascade of bottles being thrown into a recycle bin.
The waste bin is being filled with a torrent of trash.
In a few moments everything is cleaned up, the bins slam shut and the squirrels return to the bar.
Excitedly chirping and looking at the bartender, who reaches into her smock and scatters handfuls of nuts to the squeaking squirrels. Who gather up every crumb and retreat to the top of the bins to soak up the sun and nibble on their feast.
Good morning my darlings. I thought you might appreciate a change from Dryads, they're wonderful creatures but not nearly as cute as squirrels. Goodness I see people have been busy.
Martin, I'm quite envious of that gorgeous beach. I hope you and Innes have a truly magical time together. You can't say you don't deserve a little taste of the good life for all the hard work you do.
Elyse, Making Art isn't easy that's why it's so satisfying when you manage to create some. Celebrate your victories however small and never ever let the world make you give up what makes you happy. It doesn't matter how spicy you feel it is, it's the fact you turned a bare page into a piece of magic that's important. I should know about magic. So chin up, shoulders back, and give the world your biggest smile. Trust me, it makes the other girl wonder what you're thinking.
Adrian, Goodness you are giving us a profound insight into your world. Though I think perhaps you're trying to pretend you're not a romantic that knows the power of those words. I love you, is one of the most powerful spells in existence and we've all felt the power of that one in our lives. Spread your wings, soak up the sunlight and remember all things move in cycles. Trying to change the movement of the planets, the turning of the seasons or the rise and fall of the tides is a foolish enterprise.
Be who you are, from one moment to the next and let the doubters and the jealous choke on their bile.
Carl, Can we have more pictures of the horsies???? Yes I was a little girl that loved ponies and horses, what's the problem.
James, should I train the squirrels to do the dishes or get the dryads back to look after it?
Bill, You're giving us an amazing reading list to become better artists and creatives. This humble scribe is most appreciative or in the local dialect you're like one of the Behans going on like that.
If anyone wants a drink I think I can manage to make it happen.
Bouncing behind the bar, swift fingers checking everything is properly in its place, moving things around on autopilot until it's all in order. Slides across to Big Bertha, pops the lid open to check the state of the coffee machine.
Twists the filter out and empties Big Bertha, keeping the sludge for Carl and the caffeine junkies. Refills with some Italian Medium roast beans, and lots of mountain fresh water.
Places a soft kiss on BB, and polishes her nozzle for being a good girl.
Cleans out the big kettle and refills it, setting it to boil.
Switches the sign from The Witch is OUT to IN.
Puts two fingers in her mouth and gives a long high pitched whistle. A dozen squirrels run into the room, through the front door, the back door, down the chimney. Where did they all come from.
A single snap of her fingers sends them racing all round the room. Bottles are rolled out the back door,neatly put in rows. Trash is picked up and carried out the back door. Slowly the floor becomes visible and a few snoring bar flies are sprawled on the floor.
A second short whistle results in the tinkling sound of a cascade of bottles being thrown into a recycle bin.
The waste bin is being filled with a torrent of trash.
In a few moments everything is cleaned up, the bins slam shut and the squirrels return to the bar.
Excitedly chirping and looking at the bartender, who reaches into her smock and scatters handfuls of nuts to the squeaking squirrels. Who gather up every crumb and retreat to the top of the bins to soak up the sun and nibble on their feast.
Good morning my darlings. I thought you might appreciate a change from Dryads, they're wonderful creatures but not nearly as cute as squirrels. Goodness I see people have been busy.
Martin, I'm quite envious of that gorgeous beach. I hope you and Innes have a truly magical time together. You can't say you don't deserve a little taste of the good life for all the hard work you do.
Elyse, Making Art isn't easy that's why it's so satisfying when you manage to create some. Celebrate your victories however small and never ever let the world make you give up what makes you happy. It doesn't matter how spicy you feel it is, it's the fact you turned a bare page into a piece of magic that's important. I should know about magic. So chin up, shoulders back, and give the world your biggest smile. Trust me, it makes the other girl wonder what you're thinking.
Adrian, Goodness you are giving us a profound insight into your world. Though I think perhaps you're trying to pretend you're not a romantic that knows the power of those words. I love you, is one of the most powerful spells in existence and we've all felt the power of that one in our lives. Spread your wings, soak up the sunlight and remember all things move in cycles. Trying to change the movement of the planets, the turning of the seasons or the rise and fall of the tides is a foolish enterprise.
Be who you are, from one moment to the next and let the doubters and the jealous choke on their bile.
Carl, Can we have more pictures of the horsies???? Yes I was a little girl that loved ponies and horses, what's the problem.
James, should I train the squirrels to do the dishes or get the dryads back to look after it?
Bill, You're giving us an amazing reading list to become better artists and creatives. This humble scribe is most appreciative or in the local dialect you're like one of the Behans going on like that.
If anyone wants a drink I think I can manage to make it happen.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by Fluttered
Morning Rumps, Rumpees, coffee grinders and tea pickers and the drunken others.
Astute observers will note that I hardly ever use the word love in my writing it’s not that I’m against the blissful state, not at all. I just like to know what it means
For sometimes I love you means I want to love you
Sometimes I love you means I will stay a little longer
Sometimes I love you means I’m not sure how to leave
Sometimes I love you means I have nowhere else to go
Sometimes I love you means everything you crave
I wish you everything, please don’t settle for less
Boom boom. My raisin detre is biscuits, I savour them all, I love how chocolate chips melt on my tongue, I get as lost as when sucking on a pierced nipple. Yet raisins add their own little magic dancing on my tongue leading me to want honey in abundance, do you know anyone with a cum fetish that can satisfy a need ?
Ummm yes I do but it does depend on how you want to provide it and how much you want to give.
That's all I'm prepared to say at this point. For the record it isn't me.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by kistinspencil
Well, okay. I read this and had to try this Brandon Relish thing. Having it now on my own sourdough with some Two Girl Cows aged cheddar. Most excellent. Got a new evening nosh for sure.
Oh Branston Pickle is a wonderful thing, it goes superb with cheese and makes a killer sambo too.
I think there's a picnic pickle where they chop the onions a lot finer but it's the same basic stuff.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by KimmiBeGood
Morning Rumpies!
So nice to see the beautiful Michelle back!
In Kimmi news, met a man last night on dating site and we had a great chat. I suspect we'll meet in person this week. I'm trying to go in with no expectations and just take it as it comes.I know I'm a bit of an oddball, but surely there's another matching oddball out there somewhere.
In other news ... 99 comp entries. If you haven't entered, take the plunge and be the 100th! 90 of us will NOT make Top Ten, so no worries. You're in good company in or out.
Kimmi my dear, I@m crossing everything I can, and then some for you.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Knows where the really good tunes are kept and isn't shy about spinning them too.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Wow so many amazing tunes today, my feet won't stop tapping for the rest of the day.
Awesome.
Awesome.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Dear Goddess, tell me you didn't eat that stuff that far out of date.
I'd be awfully worried if you did.
I'd be awfully worried if you did.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
I think that depends on the woman and what you're imaging doing to them.
There's dumb bitches I've mentally slapped sense into. Pretty younger women I've flirted wildly with and given them my number in my mind, while killing time in a queue somewhere.
There's women I've wished would lose the power of speech to stop making my ears bleed with their crap, ones I've wished I could give them the courage to tell what's on their mind.
I've wished some women would learn to park properly, and others would learn to keep their hands on the wheel when driving instead of messing with their hair, doing their make up or punching the air. I mean I've done all of those things but not when I needed to focus where I was going. Cruise control on a motorway gives a girl time to do a lot of things, but doing that shit in an urban area while in motion is just asking for trouble.
Oh yeah, I'm getting off the point.
Depends on the woman, the situation and the intent. If you accept all that, then damn near everyone fantasies about everyone to some extent.
There's dumb bitches I've mentally slapped sense into. Pretty younger women I've flirted wildly with and given them my number in my mind, while killing time in a queue somewhere.
There's women I've wished would lose the power of speech to stop making my ears bleed with their crap, ones I've wished I could give them the courage to tell what's on their mind.
I've wished some women would learn to park properly, and others would learn to keep their hands on the wheel when driving instead of messing with their hair, doing their make up or punching the air. I mean I've done all of those things but not when I needed to focus where I was going. Cruise control on a motorway gives a girl time to do a lot of things, but doing that shit in an urban area while in motion is just asking for trouble.
Oh yeah, I'm getting off the point.
Depends on the woman, the situation and the intent. If you accept all that, then damn near everyone fantasies about everyone to some extent.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Struts into the bar, blowing kisses as she gets to the bar.
Empties Big Bertha, keeping the sludge for Carl and the caffeine junkies. Refills with some Hawaiian roast beans, and lots of mountain fresh water.
Places a soft kiss on BB, and polishes her nozzle for being a good...coffee maker.
Cleans out the big kettle and refills it, setting it to boil.
Switches the sign from The Witch is OUT to IN.
Wiggles fingers and summons a dryad to get the washing up done, while a second whirls round the room driving all the rubbish into a pile, before feeding it to an earth elemental.
Yes my beauties, the Witch is still around.
The muse was most insistent yesterday and I had to put some words on the page before she'd give me any peace.
Good heavens I don't know if I'm going to be able to read and vote on every single one of the comp entries this month, there's just so many of them.
Lucky ,It's wonderful to hear you're back in the zoo. I bet you damn near cried with joy to see the animals again after being away for so long.
Kimmi, Darlin' don't chase a man like that they like the challenge of outrunning a chaser. Much better to find where they go AFTER the run and maybe flirt over a smoothie or two. Mind you it's been so long since I chased a man, I think rave was still big and shiny shell suits were in fashion. Gods I feel old saying that.
James, You big beautiful bear. You've been doing a whole lot of work keeping things going.
Elyse, keep being your beautiful bad ass self. Loving the confidence you bring to your writing, never stop darlin'. Don't listen to the doubters, the haters, or the ones who don't get your talent. Keep writing, keep growing, one day you're going to be the woman you wanted to be. All the bitter jealous haters are going to choke on your brilliance.
Carl, I love the pictures of the horses. They're such noble creatures. You're spinning such fab tunes too. That Samantha Fish can sure play.
to the rest of you lovely people, I bring mini tarts.
Empties Big Bertha, keeping the sludge for Carl and the caffeine junkies. Refills with some Hawaiian roast beans, and lots of mountain fresh water.
Places a soft kiss on BB, and polishes her nozzle for being a good...coffee maker.
Cleans out the big kettle and refills it, setting it to boil.
Switches the sign from The Witch is OUT to IN.
Wiggles fingers and summons a dryad to get the washing up done, while a second whirls round the room driving all the rubbish into a pile, before feeding it to an earth elemental.
Yes my beauties, the Witch is still around.
The muse was most insistent yesterday and I had to put some words on the page before she'd give me any peace.
Good heavens I don't know if I'm going to be able to read and vote on every single one of the comp entries this month, there's just so many of them.
Lucky ,It's wonderful to hear you're back in the zoo. I bet you damn near cried with joy to see the animals again after being away for so long.
Kimmi, Darlin' don't chase a man like that they like the challenge of outrunning a chaser. Much better to find where they go AFTER the run and maybe flirt over a smoothie or two. Mind you it's been so long since I chased a man, I think rave was still big and shiny shell suits were in fashion. Gods I feel old saying that.
James, You big beautiful bear. You've been doing a whole lot of work keeping things going.
Elyse, keep being your beautiful bad ass self. Loving the confidence you bring to your writing, never stop darlin'. Don't listen to the doubters, the haters, or the ones who don't get your talent. Keep writing, keep growing, one day you're going to be the woman you wanted to be. All the bitter jealous haters are going to choke on your brilliance.
Carl, I love the pictures of the horses. They're such noble creatures. You're spinning such fab tunes too. That Samantha Fish can sure play.
to the rest of you lovely people, I bring mini tarts.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
I think your question could use a little clarity.
If my Roomie takes my toys, they'd damn well better explain themselves. They're someone I'm sharing living space with and taking my stuff requires an explanation.
That can be a book from my shelf, my hair dryer or a sex toy.
Taking my stuff without permission just because you felt like it, will result in a slap and a serious row.
Mind you, borrowing my hair dryer because yours died and you needed to dry your hair AND you put it back again neatly isn't the end of the world.
Using my sex toys, and not saying so is a major no no.
A friend of mine using them had better come with an explanation too.
I mean if they take the toy, use it, clean it and return it I'm much less likely to freak out.
What we allow others to do really depends on the nature of the relationship.
If my Roomie takes my toys, they'd damn well better explain themselves. They're someone I'm sharing living space with and taking my stuff requires an explanation.
That can be a book from my shelf, my hair dryer or a sex toy.
Taking my stuff without permission just because you felt like it, will result in a slap and a serious row.
Mind you, borrowing my hair dryer because yours died and you needed to dry your hair AND you put it back again neatly isn't the end of the world.
Using my sex toys, and not saying so is a major no no.
A friend of mine using them had better come with an explanation too.
I mean if they take the toy, use it, clean it and return it I'm much less likely to freak out.
What we allow others to do really depends on the nature of the relationship.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Some places won't let you sponsor then if you have sexy stuff on there.
I can see them trying to tie in with a sports league or something so all the Kinksters have to go
I can see them trying to tie in with a sports league or something so all the Kinksters have to go
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Oh I would and we won't need to bother with the balls either.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Has the most hypnotic cleavage I've ever seen.
What's that , yes of course I will bury my face in there.
What's that , yes of course I will bury my face in there.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
You're a priceless jewel that lights up the world just by being in it. Well done for getting your first house, there's nothing like the sound of your front door closing behind you and knowing that nobody you haven't given a key to can pass that door. Renting always meant being prepared for your front door being opened by anyone the landlord sent round.
Big squishy hugs my darling.
Big squishy hugs my darling.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Goodness I have missed a lot today it seems. First Sean Locke is gone, and lots of people have been very busy.
Goddess You called Your son home, we hope his passage through the Veil was swift and painless. May Your daughters guide him safely on the road to Your presence.
Be with those who mourn him, remind us that Death is not the end of all things. Send a spirit of comfort to those he loved and who loved him. Remind us that You are with us, in our moments of Joy and those of Sorrow. Let us remember our brother by celebrating the art he created and left for us all to enjoy his many talents.
Shine Your Light on us oh Goddess, for we are fragile mortal beings and need Your Light and Love. Be with us now and always as we journey through this world until we cross the Veil and stand before You once more. May all things that were, are and are yet to be,be according to Your Will. Most Blessed Be.
Goddess You called Your son home, we hope his passage through the Veil was swift and painless. May Your daughters guide him safely on the road to Your presence.
Be with those who mourn him, remind us that Death is not the end of all things. Send a spirit of comfort to those he loved and who loved him. Remind us that You are with us, in our moments of Joy and those of Sorrow. Let us remember our brother by celebrating the art he created and left for us all to enjoy his many talents.
Shine Your Light on us oh Goddess, for we are fragile mortal beings and need Your Light and Love. Be with us now and always as we journey through this world until we cross the Veil and stand before You once more. May all things that were, are and are yet to be,be according to Your Will. Most Blessed Be.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by AppleByBoom
Can I have please have a cure for a double ear infection? That would be very much appreciated.
I will also try your weird coffee .... with apprehension....
Happy weekend Rumpies!
❤
Ah ear infections I got a lot of those working in a call centre.
Best tip is keep hydrated, take your medication and don't put anything in your ears.
Even a tempting little scratch can be a bad idea.
Oh here's the coffee you ordered.
I fell asleep behind the bar and forgot to sign out.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by KimmiBeGood
I know some too that have changed screennames like 4 times in the last year. Thats always a red flag to me to keep a distance. People are here for all different reasons. My advice ... don't get emotionally involved or share personal info unless you verify they are who they say. Ask for a picture with whoever holding a piece of paper with your name on it. Do a video chat. Etc. Most trying to deceive won't go that far. There are great, honorable people on here. There are also nice people who can't for whatever reason show their true selves. Then there are others that are here for their own entertainment and don't care who they hurt.
I will say I have made real friends here, but I am careful. Kat is who she says. We email outside Lush and have seen each other's faces. I with TheShyThespian and Fluttered ... they are who they say ... and we are genuine friends who share about our kids, see each others homes, etc. Da Bear has shown his real self to me and he really is a polar bear
So ... if you are okay just playing, 2 accts are fine, real pics unnecessary... just keep emotionally detached. My
Barkeep, something fruity please! Work is done and I'm getting ready to write some. Woohoo!
I'd say that like so much of life it's all a matter of bargaining.
That high paying job may come with a lot of travel, that gorgeous lover might come with a demanding personal obligations so someone else.
If you know going into things what you're going to be given and what you're going to have to accept as part of the deal that's fair.
When I start a relationship I like to be clear what I can and cannot do. I also don't ask them to do something I will not. For example if I won't send a personal photo why would I ask them to?
It's starting things off on an unequal footing and not a good thing.
I can get there's a level of comfort in being able to see the person or hear their voice.
It does at least confirm they're human, and the gender they claim to be.
It doesn't mean they're not already in a relationship and you're their bit on the side.
A dear friend of mine was dating a guy for 6 months, things were going well until his wife turned up at her place of work. Seems hubby was dumb enough to leave info on his phone and wife wanted a little chat with the jezebel.
In that case they both agreed he was an ass hat and deserved to be booted from.both their lives but it doesn't always end well.
Be honest with yourself what you really need and what's a nice to have.
Then be open with the other person what is on your lists.
That way you both start on the same page and can make a fair decision on where you go from there.
As a single person you're far more free to share details of your life because we'll you're not already bound to someone. If you are then it's only sensible to keep a degree of secrecy about your life.
Also be honest with yourself about your expectations, don't put yourself under pressure of needing to make a judgement call by the end of the first hour or even the first date. We all know people who knew by "Hello " this was the one and people who took months to get to that decision.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
The soft click clack of heels heralds her arrival. Pushing her sunglasses onto the top of her head she looks around slowly and winces at the state of the place.
She stamps her foot calls out in a strange language, and gives a long high pitched whistle. Two small humanoid creatures with bark skin, sap brown eyes and ivy strands for hair seem to rise from the floor and hover before her.
She points around the room and makes a series of orders in a strange language. In seconds the strange creatures are racing around the room, gathering up rubbish and putting it into neat piles.
Striding through the activity like this is perfectly normal she walks behind the bar and checks everything is as it should be.
Fortunately Curvy had been looking after BB and the boiler didn't take long to get running again.
The thick pungent sludge was removed from the boiler and put to one side for the real caffeine addicts. A bag of Italian roasted beans is opened and poured into the huge hopper ready to make fresh coffee.
Making a complicated gesture in the air and chanting in a low melodic ritual , a small rain cloud forms above the boiler and starts to rain heavily into it. Tiny lightning bolts flash within it and the heavy downpour fills the tank in a few minutes.
While the tank is being filled she cleans the big kettle and sets it open and ready to boil.
Another short command and the cloud drifts over to the massive kettle and rains into that too.
When the kettle is full, the lid snaps closed as though by an invisible hand.
Smoke pours from the carved wooden sign on the bar. The sign from The Witch is OUT to IN.
A wave her hand makes a tray of buttermilk fruit scones appear, and a big plate of generous biscuit cake squares.
Looking around she puts her sunglasses on the bar and runs her fingers through her hair flicking it out.
Good morning my drunken animals, I hope life is going well for you all.
I've been run off my feet lately but things are much calmer now and I finally have time to be out here more often.
Goodness me things have been busy out here, I am waaay behind so I will just send big squishy hugs to you all.
So can I get any of you scoundrels a drink?
She stamps her foot calls out in a strange language, and gives a long high pitched whistle. Two small humanoid creatures with bark skin, sap brown eyes and ivy strands for hair seem to rise from the floor and hover before her.
She points around the room and makes a series of orders in a strange language. In seconds the strange creatures are racing around the room, gathering up rubbish and putting it into neat piles.
Striding through the activity like this is perfectly normal she walks behind the bar and checks everything is as it should be.
Fortunately Curvy had been looking after BB and the boiler didn't take long to get running again.
The thick pungent sludge was removed from the boiler and put to one side for the real caffeine addicts. A bag of Italian roasted beans is opened and poured into the huge hopper ready to make fresh coffee.
Making a complicated gesture in the air and chanting in a low melodic ritual , a small rain cloud forms above the boiler and starts to rain heavily into it. Tiny lightning bolts flash within it and the heavy downpour fills the tank in a few minutes.
While the tank is being filled she cleans the big kettle and sets it open and ready to boil.
Another short command and the cloud drifts over to the massive kettle and rains into that too.
When the kettle is full, the lid snaps closed as though by an invisible hand.
Smoke pours from the carved wooden sign on the bar. The sign from The Witch is OUT to IN.
A wave her hand makes a tray of buttermilk fruit scones appear, and a big plate of generous biscuit cake squares.
Looking around she puts her sunglasses on the bar and runs her fingers through her hair flicking it out.
Good morning my drunken animals, I hope life is going well for you all.
I've been run off my feet lately but things are much calmer now and I finally have time to be out here more often.
Goodness me things have been busy out here, I am waaay behind so I will just send big squishy hugs to you all.
So can I get any of you scoundrels a drink?
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Well I'm not an expert in what specific options you have over there but here's some practical advice.
1. Call your bank and tell them you're unable to make the payments but you want to discuss options with them.
2. Find a financial charity to put you in contact with someone that can help you discuss your options.
3. Talk to a lawyer to see what steps you can take to become legally separate from your wife. If she won't stop spending money you need to avoid being stuck with her debts.
You may need to see if you can get yourself declared bankrupt or some other legal mechanism to achieve that.
4. Talk to your family and friends, try to arrange a bed or a coach to sleep on while you get your life together.
It can be tempting to tweak your nose for not taking steps earlier but you can still get out of this with your sanity and your health intact if you take those steps.
It's too late to get your wife to change her habits, for now focus on getting yourself out of the trap with as little damage to yourself as possible.
1. Call your bank and tell them you're unable to make the payments but you want to discuss options with them.
2. Find a financial charity to put you in contact with someone that can help you discuss your options.
3. Talk to a lawyer to see what steps you can take to become legally separate from your wife. If she won't stop spending money you need to avoid being stuck with her debts.
You may need to see if you can get yourself declared bankrupt or some other legal mechanism to achieve that.
4. Talk to your family and friends, try to arrange a bed or a coach to sleep on while you get your life together.
It can be tempting to tweak your nose for not taking steps earlier but you can still get out of this with your sanity and your health intact if you take those steps.
It's too late to get your wife to change her habits, for now focus on getting yourself out of the trap with as little damage to yourself as possible.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Quote by KimmiBeGood
Morning Rumpies!
Good to see you, Michelle! Missed you!
Just a spiked orange juice to go, please. If I hurry I can catch the men's half-naked running club at the park I walk. Actually I only "catch" the slow one in the back
Train for speed and you might catch the fella, then teach him all the things he never knew were possible.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Trudges into the bar and plops onto a bar stool.
Well my darlings I'm back, despite the best efforts of some very silly people and a mix up with system code.
Gods I need a coffee and a pastry to recharge after the day I've had.
It's been far too long since I've been here, and I've missed you all so very much.
I see there's another competition open, didn't we already have one of those?
Gods, I don't know if I@m going to enter this one.
I see Kimmi has been dipping a toe in the dating pool, I sure hope the Goddess Aphrodite has been kind and he wasn't some kind of ass hat.
Da Bear has been keeping things in order and somehow finding time to churn out material.
Where he gets the time and the energy from I just don't know.
Carl has been spinning tunes, and making serious dents in the JAmeson stocks too.
I'm sure I've missed something or someone, if I have be merciful on a forgetful blonde.
Well my darlings I'm back, despite the best efforts of some very silly people and a mix up with system code.
Gods I need a coffee and a pastry to recharge after the day I've had.
It's been far too long since I've been here, and I've missed you all so very much.
I see there's another competition open, didn't we already have one of those?
Gods, I don't know if I@m going to enter this one.
I see Kimmi has been dipping a toe in the dating pool, I sure hope the Goddess Aphrodite has been kind and he wasn't some kind of ass hat.
Da Bear has been keeping things in order and somehow finding time to churn out material.
Where he gets the time and the energy from I just don't know.
Carl has been spinning tunes, and making serious dents in the JAmeson stocks too.
I'm sure I've missed something or someone, if I have be merciful on a forgetful blonde.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Evening all, thought I'd pop my head in to say thank you so very much for your birthday wishes.
I'm touched you all remembered and were so kind.
May the Goddess bless you , shine Her Light on you and keep you ever safe.
Most Blessed Be.
I'm hoping tomorrow life returns to a less manic pace, I miss spending time here and enjoying the banter
I'm touched you all remembered and were so kind.
May the Goddess bless you , shine Her Light on you and keep you ever safe.
Most Blessed Be.
I'm hoping tomorrow life returns to a less manic pace, I miss spending time here and enjoying the banter
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
Maybe the guys might be able to answer that question.
Giggles.
Giggles.
Chatterbox Blonde- Rumps Mystical Bartender
When I was a submissive I was always taught that everything has to be my free choice. There can be consequences for making those choices but I'm always able to make a choice, and to change my mind at any point. I have to know what's going to happen, understand what that means, and give full consent to that activity. I must consent before, during and after the activity.
Anything else is just abuse and rightly condemned.
From the outside it can appear that the participants just meet up and start doing all sorts of things to each other. Those descriptions don't mention the history those people have together, the trust they've built up, the understanding they have in each others needs and the mutual respect that's involved.
When you meet a Dominant for the first time they're very often going to want a long chat about you're life experience. Some people start from a very modest base, and others are merely exploring a new fantasy but know what they need to get there. It's a very very good sign if they want to spend a lot of time talking with you.
The most important thing is that you feel you can trust this person, that they're going to take care of you before, during and after play, and that you understand what is going to happen in the first play session.
I always teach the traffic lights system, Green for keep going, Yellow for slow down or talk to me about what you're doing, Red complete stop and end play immediately.
I'd check your understanding of that by asking you how you'd feel if I asked you to do something.
Shake my hand, kiss the person at the next table, tear your clothes off and run naked out of the room.
It gives me a clearer understanding of how far you'd be willing to go. For example you might go Yellow for kissing the person at the next table because you don't understand why you're being asked to do that. If someone you trusted was present to protect you if things went badly, you might go Green for the same request.
The idea is to make sure you're able to use your lights when you need them. There's no point saying Green all the time, if you're really not enjoying what's going on.
For example, being spanked. There's a lot of different ways to spank, from a playful bare handed tap of the palm through to a heavy leather paddle being aggressively used on your ass.
Since I have no real way of knowing how hard you want it to be, I'd start with barely hitting you at all. Then ask you how you find that and openly invite you to ask me to go harder.
Always remember that a submissive is one who CHOOSES to submit. They get to decide to whom they submit, the extent they submit and what they will or won't allow to be done to them.
Submissives aren't doormats and they don't have to do anything they're asked or told to do. It's something that always indicates the person giving that kind of order has no idea what they're doing.
Just as a submissive gets to choose who they submit to, so a Dominant gets to choose if they accept that submission. As a Dominant I don't have to accept the invitation being given by a submissive. Maybe I don't feel like doing that specific activity, or I don't want to play with them, or I just don't feel like playtime and just want to watch a while.
At the moment you're discussing SSC, Safe Sane Consensual. Anything that a reasonable person could see and understand that both sides fully consented to that activity.
Forced behaviour moves more towards RACK, Risk Aware Consensual Kink. That's where paperwork comes in, and lots of detailed conversations.
Essentially if someone was to see a violent scene taking place, they might interpret it as a real crime and call the cops. So the paperwork is to show that not only did everyone involved consent to it all, they knew what was going to happen, they had safe words to protect themselves, and that all parties involved agreed to a period of after care when the scene ended.
SSC is where I start things with a new playmate. We don't know each other very well, we don't have a foundation of trust, and we don't really know if we click together.
RACK is something I'd work up to, as it's incredibly intense. It's draining physically, emotionally and spiritually.
For example I have a girl who enjoys being forced to do things, she has a specific fantasy about being faux and having her clothes cut off.
Now as a Witch I'm supposed to keep the Rede and do no Harm. Even though it's simulated I'm still going to a very dark place, and far exceeding the protections of the Rede.
I need to have absolute certainty then when the scene ends and I'm a sobbing heap on the floor when my conscience flogs me for being a monster, that she will be there to look after me just as much as I'm going to look after her. Anything less than total committed support from all parties involved is a total red flag for me.
Anything else is just abuse and rightly condemned.
From the outside it can appear that the participants just meet up and start doing all sorts of things to each other. Those descriptions don't mention the history those people have together, the trust they've built up, the understanding they have in each others needs and the mutual respect that's involved.
When you meet a Dominant for the first time they're very often going to want a long chat about you're life experience. Some people start from a very modest base, and others are merely exploring a new fantasy but know what they need to get there. It's a very very good sign if they want to spend a lot of time talking with you.
The most important thing is that you feel you can trust this person, that they're going to take care of you before, during and after play, and that you understand what is going to happen in the first play session.
I always teach the traffic lights system, Green for keep going, Yellow for slow down or talk to me about what you're doing, Red complete stop and end play immediately.
I'd check your understanding of that by asking you how you'd feel if I asked you to do something.
Shake my hand, kiss the person at the next table, tear your clothes off and run naked out of the room.
It gives me a clearer understanding of how far you'd be willing to go. For example you might go Yellow for kissing the person at the next table because you don't understand why you're being asked to do that. If someone you trusted was present to protect you if things went badly, you might go Green for the same request.
The idea is to make sure you're able to use your lights when you need them. There's no point saying Green all the time, if you're really not enjoying what's going on.
For example, being spanked. There's a lot of different ways to spank, from a playful bare handed tap of the palm through to a heavy leather paddle being aggressively used on your ass.
Since I have no real way of knowing how hard you want it to be, I'd start with barely hitting you at all. Then ask you how you find that and openly invite you to ask me to go harder.
Always remember that a submissive is one who CHOOSES to submit. They get to decide to whom they submit, the extent they submit and what they will or won't allow to be done to them.
Submissives aren't doormats and they don't have to do anything they're asked or told to do. It's something that always indicates the person giving that kind of order has no idea what they're doing.
Just as a submissive gets to choose who they submit to, so a Dominant gets to choose if they accept that submission. As a Dominant I don't have to accept the invitation being given by a submissive. Maybe I don't feel like doing that specific activity, or I don't want to play with them, or I just don't feel like playtime and just want to watch a while.
At the moment you're discussing SSC, Safe Sane Consensual. Anything that a reasonable person could see and understand that both sides fully consented to that activity.
Forced behaviour moves more towards RACK, Risk Aware Consensual Kink. That's where paperwork comes in, and lots of detailed conversations.
Essentially if someone was to see a violent scene taking place, they might interpret it as a real crime and call the cops. So the paperwork is to show that not only did everyone involved consent to it all, they knew what was going to happen, they had safe words to protect themselves, and that all parties involved agreed to a period of after care when the scene ended.
SSC is where I start things with a new playmate. We don't know each other very well, we don't have a foundation of trust, and we don't really know if we click together.
RACK is something I'd work up to, as it's incredibly intense. It's draining physically, emotionally and spiritually.
For example I have a girl who enjoys being forced to do things, she has a specific fantasy about being faux and having her clothes cut off.
Now as a Witch I'm supposed to keep the Rede and do no Harm. Even though it's simulated I'm still going to a very dark place, and far exceeding the protections of the Rede.
I need to have absolute certainty then when the scene ends and I'm a sobbing heap on the floor when my conscience flogs me for being a monster, that she will be there to look after me just as much as I'm going to look after her. Anything less than total committed support from all parties involved is a total red flag for me.