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Constant Gardener
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WellMadeMale
9 hours ago
Straight Male
0 miles · Kansas City
Forum
Constant Gardener
Quote by naughtyollie
if always wanted to try it, but i always end up being in control due to her preferences, id love to try being the slave for once. any one on here who likes being in control?
Paging Bun Bun, clean up in aisle 666. And he appears to be gorges too!
Constant Gardener
I can imagine Cheech & Chong improvising a sketch around sounding, something similar to this...
Constant Gardener
Man... how'd I miss that classic Lush forum thread?
Just when I think I've seen everyfuckingthing on the planet.
I hope he's got those .gif files online somewhere I can hotlink to them...I got about 40 twisted male friends I'd love to show them too.
Just when I think I've seen everyfuckingthing on the planet.
I hope he's got those .gif files online somewhere I can hotlink to them...I got about 40 twisted male friends I'd love to show them too.
Constant Gardener
https://pwnedlist.com/
PwnedList is a tool that allows an average person to check if their accounts have been compromised.
No passwords are stored in our database. You can read more about where our data comes from here.
Just enter an email address or username associated with any of your accounts to see if it's on our list.
Data entered is not stored, re-used, or given to any third parties.
Don't trust us? You can also use a SHA-512 hash of your email/username as input.
Just don't forget to lowercase all characters first.
PwnedList is a tool that allows an average person to check if their accounts have been compromised.
No passwords are stored in our database. You can read more about where our data comes from here.
Just enter an email address or username associated with any of your accounts to see if it's on our list.
Data entered is not stored, re-used, or given to any third parties.
Don't trust us? You can also use a SHA-512 hash of your email/username as input.
Just don't forget to lowercase all characters first.
Constant Gardener
Meh...I was going to post a 6 minute long compilation (with 1970s porn muzak track background tunes) of Chris Hansen's To Catch a Predator - video here...but, then I figured... We ain't got no molesters in our Lush community (and if we do, I want them caught)...so
I altered my decision. This is not a bad waste of 3 minutes...
I altered my decision. This is not a bad waste of 3 minutes...
Constant Gardener
Yeah, I'd like to:
Be able to drive a $50,000 car into the ground without ever remembering to get the fucking thing serviced.
Never prepare a meal on a stove or in a range, but have my meals purchased for me or made for me, by a guy who can cook.
Have access to a infinitely restored Platinum card in his name.
Lay out and get sun on my deck, while he mows the yard ... or better yet, the pool/yard man takes care of the chores and I get to pick him out!
And that's just off the top of my head.
Be able to drive a $50,000 car into the ground without ever remembering to get the fucking thing serviced.
Never prepare a meal on a stove or in a range, but have my meals purchased for me or made for me, by a guy who can cook.
Have access to a infinitely restored Platinum card in his name.
Lay out and get sun on my deck, while he mows the yard ... or better yet, the pool/yard man takes care of the chores and I get to pick him out!
And that's just off the top of my head.
Constant Gardener
There's gotta be some passionate, mouth to mouth...tongue dancing kissing occurring or I ain't going to shoot my load. Obtaining a hard dick is not difficult. Hell, all I need is a stiff breeze and the visual of a petite tiny female ass to grow a redwood in my trousers...
But there's gotta be some passion involved.
I would fail with a true prostitute.
But there's gotta be some passion involved.
I would fail with a true prostitute.
Constant Gardener
Quote by DirtyMartini
I'm confused...are you telling me that I might be losing like half my votes or something from the last two years?
Just asking...not really sure I want to know the answer to this one...
Naw man...you're just losing all those anonymous votes you, yourself, posted over the last two years...on all your stories.
Constant Gardener
Quote by Catnip
Oh lol...
You sure have seen some wicked things in your day. W-M-M
Thank you for making me feel like an antique!
I'll have you know, young lady...there remain depths of sexual depravity yet for me to sink to! My bucket list is only still half full 
Constant Gardener
I met a woman...and a man - with this very fetish, once... Thankfully, just once. It required a great deal of booze to wipe the short term memory of that ... away.
Half a decade ago, I had a personal ad trolling on AFF. I was contacted by a couple who inquired whether I would be inclined to meet with them in a public place for the express purpose of pleasuring the wife, while the husband watched...and then on 'her signal' would join in the act of pleasuring her solely. No male/male activity desired.
Curious...I agreed to meet them, after we had both exchanged photographs.
'Good looking mid-30 year old couple' white collar professionals...with a major malfunctioning dumptruck load of kink.
They wanted me to get tested to ensure I had no STDs and that I was fertile...as their kink was for me to only fuck the wife (no other dating or girlfriends allowed for me) and they wanted a man (me) to knock her up.
Repeatedly.
They expressed that they just wanted to abort any pregnancies and then Do It Fucking Again, and Again and Again.
My sole task was to be their impregnator, while the husband would receive oral from his wife.
Now I have met some kinked out fuckers in my life, but this pair was dead serious...and twisted (in my opinion) beyond color tv.
They were raising a child which she had with another man, before they had gotten married....the husband was infertile but wanted to experience 'getting the news' from his wife that she was pregnant. At which point he AND her also wanted to experience an abortion...
Top that, for fucking whack! While still being borderline permissible for public forum discussion on Lush.
I started our 'meeting' drinking tonic water...just in case we hit things off and the 3 of us wished to go Get A Room.
Two hours later, after the pleasantries were out of the way and the nitty-gritty / meat and potatoes discussion had long been laid out and dissected to pieces...I was working on my third Long Island Ice Tea and needing a taxi back to my house. They mentioned that I had disqualified myself from future consideration as they did not wish to invite A FUCKED UP ALCOHOLIC PERVERT into their bed.
My quick thinking and love for 5 shots of liquor per drink - paid off well that evening.
Half a decade ago, I had a personal ad trolling on AFF. I was contacted by a couple who inquired whether I would be inclined to meet with them in a public place for the express purpose of pleasuring the wife, while the husband watched...and then on 'her signal' would join in the act of pleasuring her solely. No male/male activity desired.
Curious...I agreed to meet them, after we had both exchanged photographs.
'Good looking mid-30 year old couple' white collar professionals...with a major malfunctioning dumptruck load of kink.
They wanted me to get tested to ensure I had no STDs and that I was fertile...as their kink was for me to only fuck the wife (no other dating or girlfriends allowed for me) and they wanted a man (me) to knock her up.
Repeatedly.
They expressed that they just wanted to abort any pregnancies and then Do It Fucking Again, and Again and Again.
My sole task was to be their impregnator, while the husband would receive oral from his wife.
Now I have met some kinked out fuckers in my life, but this pair was dead serious...and twisted (in my opinion) beyond color tv.
They were raising a child which she had with another man, before they had gotten married....the husband was infertile but wanted to experience 'getting the news' from his wife that she was pregnant. At which point he AND her also wanted to experience an abortion...
Top that, for fucking whack! While still being borderline permissible for public forum discussion on Lush.
I started our 'meeting' drinking tonic water...just in case we hit things off and the 3 of us wished to go Get A Room.
Two hours later, after the pleasantries were out of the way and the nitty-gritty / meat and potatoes discussion had long been laid out and dissected to pieces...I was working on my third Long Island Ice Tea and needing a taxi back to my house. They mentioned that I had disqualified myself from future consideration as they did not wish to invite A FUCKED UP ALCOHOLIC PERVERT into their bed.
My quick thinking and love for 5 shots of liquor per drink - paid off well that evening.
Constant Gardener
You took that photo at the Wal-Mart supercenter, didn'tcha?
Constant Gardener
Quote by nicola
The end result is fantastic. Moving forward, we are scalable, and a heck of a lot faster.
This is why you pay him the big buck$.
Next on the agenda... Conquering the known universe! Should be able to accomplish this in a 24 hour window too.
Constant Gardener
Quote by DirtyMartini
Am I the only one who can't get onto my page at all? Can anyone see it?
Just wondering if it's still there...
Yeah Alan, your profile is still there along with all your shameless self promotion.
Solid work, Gav !
Constant Gardener
and somewhere a kitten meowed, thunder rumbled, a drummer drummed and the server was migrated to
Constant Gardener
Can you imagine Sam Kinison narrating some of the stories submitted to Lushstories for publication?
"OMFG...Oh My Fucking Gawd, I THINK I AM CUMMMMMMMMMMMMING ALL OVER YOUR 40DDD TITS WITH MY 10 INCH MONSTER COCK!!!!"
Just the thought of such happening gives me a fine little chuckle this morning.
"OMFG...Oh My Fucking Gawd, I THINK I AM CUMMMMMMMMMMMMING ALL OVER YOUR 40DDD TITS WITH MY 10 INCH MONSTER COCK!!!!"
Just the thought of such happening gives me a fine little chuckle this morning.
Constant Gardener
Thank you for contributing to 45 seconds of my life, being traded for something more substantial than cybering with HugeTittedBrunetteHottie.
Constant Gardener
I hear they get itchier if you get crabs.
I am not one who scratches my balls, either in public or in private. I think there are medications to alleviate the itch.
It kind of kills the bug bites.
But that's just what I've heard. Gawddamnit Bunny, you ask the wildest questions! You're even more whack than I am, and I try to be.
What exactly, is your excuse? LMFAO
I am not one who scratches my balls, either in public or in private. I think there are medications to alleviate the itch.
It kind of kills the bug bites.
But that's just what I've heard. Gawddamnit Bunny, you ask the wildest questions! You're even more whack than I am, and I try to be.
What exactly, is your excuse? LMFAO