Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
marcosurbina
Over 90 days ago
Male, 75
Mexico
Forum
Active Ink Slinger
An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel. The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed.
Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed.
Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, "Ah, a solution exists!" and then goes back to bed.
"Ah, a solution exists!" and then goes back to bed.
Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed.
Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, "Ah, a solution exists!" and then goes back to bed.
"Ah, a solution exists!" and then goes back to bed.
Active Ink Slinger
I wonder what he might have said to the French blonde secretary as to change to a modern computer keyboard.
Active Ink Slinger
Dear Jane:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.
I hope this helps. Larry
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.
I hope this helps. Larry
Active Ink Slinger
Clerk: I recommend you these ones for your car. You know, it's critical to have tires properly inflated to enhance vehicle performance and safety, get longer tire life and increase gas mileage. I can provide you with a superior alternative to air, using nitrogen for tire inflation with its UltraFill High-Purity Nitrogen Tire Inflation System.
On the other hand, nitrogen is a superior material for tire inflation because it diffuses through tire rubber about 40 percent more slowly than air, helping the tire maintain proper pressure longer. When driving on properly inflated tires, you will see significant performance, safety and cost benefits.
Good acquisition!
Customer: sorry, can you repeat that? I was not concentrated at all.
On the other hand, nitrogen is a superior material for tire inflation because it diffuses through tire rubber about 40 percent more slowly than air, helping the tire maintain proper pressure longer. When driving on properly inflated tires, you will see significant performance, safety and cost benefits.
Good acquisition!
Customer: sorry, can you repeat that? I was not concentrated at all.
Active Ink Slinger
You get my advice, Chef: drink more coffee and stop worrying. I drink Nescafe. It contains antioxidants.
An antioxidant is a molecule capable of slowing or preventing the oxidation of other molecules. Oxidation is a chemical reaction that transfers electrons from a substance to an oxidizing agent. Oxidation reactions can produce free radicals, which start chain reactions that damage cells. Antioxidants terminate these chain reactions by removing free radical intermediates, and inhibit other oxidation reactions by being oxidized themselves. As a result, antioxidants are often reducing agents such as thiols or polyphenols.
Antioxidants are substances that may protect your cells against the effects of free radicals. Free radicals are molecules produced when your body breaks down food, or by environmental exposures like tobacco smoke and radiation. Free radicals can damage cells, and may play a role in heart disease, cancer and other diseases.
Antioxidant substances include
Beta-carotene
Lutein
Lycopene
Selenium
Vitamin A
Vitamin C
Vitamin E
Tell me if it worked as you turned to 80.
An antioxidant is a molecule capable of slowing or preventing the oxidation of other molecules. Oxidation is a chemical reaction that transfers electrons from a substance to an oxidizing agent. Oxidation reactions can produce free radicals, which start chain reactions that damage cells. Antioxidants terminate these chain reactions by removing free radical intermediates, and inhibit other oxidation reactions by being oxidized themselves. As a result, antioxidants are often reducing agents such as thiols or polyphenols.
Antioxidants are substances that may protect your cells against the effects of free radicals. Free radicals are molecules produced when your body breaks down food, or by environmental exposures like tobacco smoke and radiation. Free radicals can damage cells, and may play a role in heart disease, cancer and other diseases.
Antioxidant substances include
Beta-carotene
Lutein
Lycopene
Selenium
Vitamin A
Vitamin C
Vitamin E
Tell me if it worked as you turned to 80.
Active Ink Slinger
Skytrax.guardianmobility.com
Flight Tracker
Free Guide to Data Center Trends. Flight Tracker, Tips & Tools.
www.ITtechnologycenter.com
3D Tracking and Scanning
Fast MEMS mirrors for high res. 3D tracking and scanning applications
www.mirrorcletech.com/
Track your wife
Install a low cost GPS tracking system in their car. Great Prices!
bluewatersecurityprofessionals.com
Flight Tracker
Free Guide to Data Center Trends. Flight Tracker, Tips & Tools.
www.ITtechnologycenter.com
3D Tracking and Scanning
Fast MEMS mirrors for high res. 3D tracking and scanning applications
www.mirrorcletech.com/
Track your wife
Install a low cost GPS tracking system in their car. Great Prices!
bluewatersecurityprofessionals.com
Active Ink Slinger
Hope they weren't as ugly as these ones, Rocco -Italian name, so won't get so much inspiration to even write a poetry.
Miss Eyebrow
Big booty
Armpit-woman
I wish I'd switch to this one
I don't like my girl friend
Miss Eyebrow
Big booty
Armpit-woman
I wish I'd switch to this one
I don't like my girl friend
Active Ink Slinger
Well yes, it happened to me once!! She had a gorgeous body
Active Ink Slinger
'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls. But you can have them repaired, OrionTat.
Active Ink Slinger
We should thank God –show gratitude- if we are healthy, our family is ok… and thanks’ god I have a good job!!
Never, ever complain about having a nasty job. “I won’t complain about my job anymore”
Repeat this one thousand times, again and again, and you’ll be a happy guy.
Lab test?
Tangled?
Never, ever complain about having a nasty job. “I won’t complain about my job anymore”
Repeat this one thousand times, again and again, and you’ll be a happy guy.
Lab test?
Tangled?
Active Ink Slinger
We aren't supposed to kiss anyone or to greet someone by shaking hands, to prevent getting swine flu (at least hypothetically) even if he's too friendly.
Active Ink Slinger
This man owned a business or commerce –grocery store- with two employees, male and female. The clerks name was Jerk While the other was Maria, but selling was too bad due to world economic crisis, and the guy is thinking in getting rid of one of the staff. He was having difficulties in deciding who to lay off: They both were good and efficient workers at his store.
Neither of the clerks knew about this, until the boss made his move and approached María, saying: María, I don’t know if to lay you or Jerk off.
María, who was scared, answered: jerk off!!!
See Maria and Jerk at the bottom?
Neither of the clerks knew about this, until the boss made his move and approached María, saying: María, I don’t know if to lay you or Jerk off.
María, who was scared, answered: jerk off!!!
See Maria and Jerk at the bottom?
Active Ink Slinger
Well, Nicola and Rocco: I used to be a Mormon, it's gonna be seven years since I left them, an American religious group. They never kicked me out and I quit, totally discouraged by church goers who think this is a club. Am not an Atheus and read the Bible. My only transgression: I love women, no matter who she is. I've never commited adultery, it's been in my mind though, despite several offers I've had. I'm more inclined to love people than hatred. Also, I've kissed a woman's hand here in this town, and got almost slapped in the face. It's been funny, ja, ja!
Of course, Google doesn't have all the answers, mysterious God is a better choice.
Of course, Google doesn't have all the answers, mysterious God is a better choice.
Active Ink Slinger
Just say when you've got there, baby!!
Oh, sweety: got suck in the... isn't it a four wheeler
Loud enough
Oh, sweety: got suck in the... isn't it a four wheeler
Loud enough
Active Ink Slinger
I'm 58 and probably have it already -mean, these symptoms. Oh, I don't want to be a grown up elderly sugar daddy!! Where did the pussy go? I don't remember
Active Ink Slinger
Well, I'd rather have a doll that blows up, inflating itself automatically, than a doll that would explode.
Active Ink Slinger
A man went to the sex shop to get an inflatable sex doll. He went to the counter and asked the cashier if he had any good sex dolls. The guy behind the counter asked if he wanted the Christian version or the Muslim version. The guy asked, "What is the difference?"
The cashier said, "The Muslim ones blow themselves up."
The cashier said, "The Muslim ones blow themselves up."
Active Ink Slinger
Got a magnifier at the bottom?
I got stopped the other day for driving too fast. I spoke to the officer and thought I had him talked out of writing me a ticket. Then he looked in the back seat and he said: "Yes you were driving too fast"
I got stopped the other day for driving too fast. I spoke to the officer and thought I had him talked out of writing me a ticket. Then he looked in the back seat and he said: "Yes you were driving too fast"
Active Ink Slinger
He should have bought this one and quit thresomes outdoors:
Stephanie Swift Love Doll
Vinyl rubber blow-up doll. Vagina and anus are made from a stretchy rubber material. The hole for the vagina is extremely small, with expectations that she'll be stretched and torn.
The vagina/anus area vibrates, controlled by a BP100 power pak which requires 4 AA batteries. Hands and feet separately molded to make them more realistic.
Her right hand is molded to hold something akin to your erection, and easily positioned in front of her mouth. Rotating tongue action.
Stephanie Swift Love Doll
Vinyl rubber blow-up doll. Vagina and anus are made from a stretchy rubber material. The hole for the vagina is extremely small, with expectations that she'll be stretched and torn.
The vagina/anus area vibrates, controlled by a BP100 power pak which requires 4 AA batteries. Hands and feet separately molded to make them more realistic.
Her right hand is molded to hold something akin to your erection, and easily positioned in front of her mouth. Rotating tongue action.
Active Ink Slinger
A Beautiful, Voluptuous Woman Goes To A Gynecologist...
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, ”Do you know what I’m doing?” ”Yes,” she says, ”you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatolegical abnormalities.” ”That’s right,” says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts. ”Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asks. ”Yes,” says the woman, ”you’re checking for any lumps of breast cancer.” ”That’s right,” replies the doctor. He then begins to have sexual intercourse with the woman. He says to her, ”Do you know what I’m doing now?” ”Yes,” she says. ”You’re getting herpes.”
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, ”Do you know what I’m doing?” ”Yes,” she says, ”you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatolegical abnormalities.” ”That’s right,” says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts. ”Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asks. ”Yes,” says the woman, ”you’re checking for any lumps of breast cancer.” ”That’s right,” replies the doctor. He then begins to have sexual intercourse with the woman. He says to her, ”Do you know what I’m doing now?” ”Yes,” she says. ”You’re getting herpes.”
Active Ink Slinger
A mother and her daughter were at the gynecologist's office. The mother asked the doctor to examine her daughter.
"She has been having some strange symptoms and I'm worried about her," the mother said.
The doctor examined the daughter carefully and then announced, "Madam, I believe your daughter is pregnant."
The mother gasped, "That's nonsense! Why, my little girl has nothing whatsoever to do with men."
She turned to the girl. "You don't, do you, dear?"
"No, mumsy," said the girl.
"Why, you know that I have never so much as kissed a man!"
The doctor looked from mother to daughter, and back again. Then, silently he stood up and walked to the window, staring out.
He continued staring until the mother felt compelled to ask, "Doctor, is there something wrong out there?"
"No, Madam," said the doctor. "It's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the East and I was looking to see if another one was going to show up."
"She has been having some strange symptoms and I'm worried about her," the mother said.
The doctor examined the daughter carefully and then announced, "Madam, I believe your daughter is pregnant."
The mother gasped, "That's nonsense! Why, my little girl has nothing whatsoever to do with men."
She turned to the girl. "You don't, do you, dear?"
"No, mumsy," said the girl.
"Why, you know that I have never so much as kissed a man!"
The doctor looked from mother to daughter, and back again. Then, silently he stood up and walked to the window, staring out.
He continued staring until the mother felt compelled to ask, "Doctor, is there something wrong out there?"
"No, Madam," said the doctor. "It's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the East and I was looking to see if another one was going to show up."