Quote by Dudealicious


You know what it takes to be able to make dreadlocks right?

Quote by slipperywhenwet2012
Dr. Seuss

1 fish, 2 fish, red fish, blue fish.

Who the fuck does he think he is?

Quote by Naughty_Magician
I'm sure it won't taste as good as sprite so no thanks (see what I did there).

Quote by nicola
*Allegedly* Madonna was into it for a while, according to the tabloids (yah, right, like they report the truth....).

Personally, the logic of putting waste products in my body on a regular basis, seems a little daft.

Quote by Dancing_Doll
No... no wing man is needed - just confidence.

Quote by Dancing_Doll
Despite the fact that The Cabo Connection continues to be my most popular story by far, I would probably recommend:

Fade to Black

It's a male reluctance story with some light femdom so it's not to everyone's sexual tastes, but I really enjoyed writing it and I think it has some unique characters and plot twists. The sexual subject matter is not what I typically write so it was fun to indulge some dominant female energy with this one.

This story is also a little unique in that I have received soooo many PMs from a variety of people asking if the characters were based on them or telling me they could see aspects of themselves in the story. It's been quite hilarious. I had no idea it would hit such a personal nerve with so many. I even had one girl actually join Lush solely to PM-ask me whether I knew her boyfriend and whether this story was about him since his name is Aidan Black (just like my character) and because it sounded like him. lol

Quote by lifeafterdeath
He needs to stop giving a shit. Sure, this may be the youth in me speaking cause I'm only 19, but where I'm from, the girls that are in the age of 18-25 are mostly complete bitches. No, I dont refer to every single female as a bitch, when they act it, I call it. To do this we must first define a bitch. Cause a bitch doesnt necessarily have to be single.
A bitch will flirt with any guy as long as he has money, a car and a dick.
A bitch will wear extra skimpy clothes to the supermarket.
A bitch will lose interest in your views and everything you stand for 10 seconds after you open your mouth.
A bitch will never call you, but demands that you call her.
If she has too many men as her friends. That's a bitch.
If she drinks with all of her guy friends while fully knowing that she is the only female there and she's going to stay because she's getting free taquila shots, one after the other........ Bitch.
If she has children and leaves them at home with the baby daddy to go out and have fun with her girlfriends all night long, every Friday. That's a bitch.
If she lost her virginity at the age of (edited by admin for content) had multiple (20+) sexual partners till you met her, that's a bitch.
Now that we have identified a bitch, we must now learn to avoid the bitch, and for that you'd have to BURROW TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH, OR MOVE TO THE MOON and even then you'll run into the motherfuckers.
As soon as you land on the moon a bitch will run up to you and ask for a ride home, 20,000 light years away.
Bitches are everywhere, you cannot escape them.
But there are things you can do to minimize your encounters with them.
1) Do not look for a potential date in a bar.
2) Do not tell them how much money you make. In fact, dont tell them what you do for a living. Make them guess and keep laughing, but never actually tell them. Keep making them guess, even if they're right.
3) Do not wear your cover-alls outside of the jobsite. Apparently, to bitches, coveralls=money.
4) Do not call them after the 2nd date (if you reach that far) A bitch will never call. A lady will be concerned.
5) Always go to simple places for dates. And try to keep away from those cliche bullshit movie scenes like going to the movies, or going to a park or something. Make the shit memorable. If she insists that she wants lobster for dinner, drive her to the restaurant. When she gets out of the car, drive away. It's that simple.
In the unfortunate event that you do accidentally hit on a bitch or if you just want a good one night stand, act like a fucking pimp. Treat them like garbage and buy them a vodka cranberry or something. Shit....

Quote by doctorlove


"Who probably doesn't even know of the affair" is my point. He can explain what happened and flip the switch. This would answer a lot of questions.
She could ask herself how many other times its happened.

Quote by SweetPenny
My personal favorite is Now I Own You, but it is very BDSM which is not for everyone. The Story I Never Wrote is better for all crowds.

Quote by doctorlove
You should go back to his house and tell his wife she owes you a fuck.

Quote by Dancing_Doll


Dude, I respect my pussy too much for this kind of abuse.

Women don't do this.

When I bought my dildo, I actually opted for the 6 incher instead of the 8 inch one.

And those GIFs you see where women are shooting eggplants and baseball bats out of their asshole... yeah, we don't do stuff like that either.