All who are like you.
So, I keep you close
In view
Because that’s where enemies belong.
That way I can watch
The clarity of deep green eyes,
Pupils that dilate and narrow
With the subtle shift of your smile.
I shall not be mesmerized
By the quality of your laugh
That echoes,
The vibration of which
Is feathery
Like the warmth of your breath,
The effortless touch
Of your finger’s tip
Traveling down my spine.
You have an arsenal full
Of mere distractions
I must stay aware of
--Like the fullness of those lips,
Moist with the promise
Of possible…
Mendacities.
I will not miss a single extrapolation
A word,
A letter,
A sound
That may drip from their perfection.
I will not think about
The tip of my tongue
Reaching out to taste
The sweetness…
Of what could be lies.
I will ignore my own palpitations
When,
As a last resort,
You focus on me,
Having failed to lure me in
Inadvertently
As you do the rest.
I shall not be played with
Like a toy,
Some doll for you to poke
At leisure,
For you to take your time with,
To tease,
To nibble,
To handle with practiced expertise
As you hover over my flesh.
Even when thoughts of you
Invade my sleep
And I find my hand
Between my thighs
With a finger moving rapidly
Across a nub soaked in wet heat,
I will force myself to stand my ground.
When I arch my back
And grip my own breast,
Squeezing,
Nipples thick,
Hard and aching,
Tortured by the thought of you,
I will not call out your name
In surrender.
I hate you
Will slip between gritted teeth.
I’ll fight this feeling
I have no words for,
This foreign invasion of the senses
That you have evoked
Within me
With your plotting.
On the edge of consciousness,
I will catch my breath,
Fighting my own body’s weaknesses
--Only to fail.
My thighs shaking
With each repeated jolt
Of pure pleasure,
A rapture
That creeps to conclusion,
Leaving tears in my eyes,
My naked body glistening
With my own sweat
And needing more.
How can I be so brazen,
Battling images
Of how your muscles
Must lengthen and harden
With each movement
When you are bare,
As you approach me?
I hate you,
I whisper in silence
And expectation,
Especially on days like this,
A Valentine’s,
When people create a mood,
Mimic intention
To not be alone.
You step away from your admirers,
Release voluntary captives,
Pulling deep from within your armory
Once more,
This last weapon.
I brace myself
For battle.
But my body already knows
How my mind lies
And now I am in the trenches.
There are no more prayers of denial.
You make your request.
And, I promise myself
To maybe hate you
Next time.
****
©AvrgBlkGrl, 2015.
