Day 11

My day has been frustration after frustration, having denied myself because I decided that I needed an evening alone, away from my gorgeous girlfriend and my attractive colleagues. I’m in the shower, hot water raining on my tensed body when Bruce opens the door. There is only one thing resounding in my mind: ‘Oh, no!’

After the surprise has worn off, Bruce finally decides to enter. Behind him, I see Akari, looking inside the room with a wide smile and gleaming eyes, her deepest fantasy playing in front of her. I hear her swear as Bruce closes the door, leaving her out of this. I’m now alone and naked with the ship’s XO in the shower room, fright making my heart beat at an impossible speed.

He clears his throat before saying, “Good evening, Alex. I hope you don’t mind if I come to take a shower while you are in here?” he says, sounding like nothing is wrong even though his whole posture shows how tense he is.

I’m frozen in place, not having moved since I’ve discovered who was at the door. “Eh, no I guess. Not after what was discussed this morning, I assume,” I say, knowing that there is no way for me to deny him access to the shower.

Sounding excited, he says, “You are so right about this, Alex, I shouldn’t even have asked. I’ll be joining you in two seconds.” Already taking off his flight suit, he turns toward the lockers, the zipper straining under his enthusiasm.

I turn toward the jet of water, trying to decide what should I be doing. I could speed through my shower and get the fuck out as quickly as possible. I could also do as if nothing is wrong, even though my whole self is saying otherwise. Maybe…

I don’t even have time to finish the internal debate that the showerhead beside me starts. I venture a look and see him, naked and looking at me, sporting a wide smile on his face.

I quickly look right in front of me, slightly shaking at the confusing and conflicting emotions crashing in me, like a massive car accident in the thick fog of my mind. I do not know what to do with my hands, not wanting to send the wrong signal. Should I continue to rub my glistening body with soap? Should I clean my erect cock right in front of him?

“How was your day?” Bruce says with a soft voice.

I breathe deeply twice before I answer with a shaking voice, “Fine, just fine.”

“Are you sure? You seem tense. Has Emma toyed with you after this morning?” he says with a light laugh, knowing full well it’s not why I’m uncomfortable.

“No, it’s fine,” I reply with a shakier voice, my vocabulary eluding me.

For about half a minute, the only thing that can be heard in the room is the droning sound of water hitting the deck and our bodies, even covering our breathing. The relaxing effect of the shower is gone, now reminding me that I’m exposed and vulnerable. Although I’m not worried he will attack me physically as Emma would do, rather I’m afraid that he will convince me, that I will give in, that I will like it.

I hear him take a deep breath, then saying, “You know, Alex, that I’ve been toying with you since you have come on board?”

I swallow hard, nodding at his question, still unsure of what to do with myself, my hands dangling on my side. His question inspires fright and temptation, keeping the tension present throughout my body.

“It isn’t just because I like to joke, but because I like a young man like you. You see, I’m gay, you might have noticed?” he says with tension in his voice.

I nod again, recalling my first day on the ship. I feel again the same awkwardness as I remember the perverted posters of his room, the tension rising again in my body, now feeling painful as my skin is stretching more and more.

He continues, “I’ve hired you because I think you are a good person and because you have the right attitude and education to serve in this crew. I also chose you because I felt a connection with you, hoping we could be more than just colleagues.”

I swallow with difficulty, feeling pressure further building in me, at the confession he is making. My body starts to lightly shake as my fears command me to leave, to relieve this temptation, to expel the perversion, to enjoy my repentance as I stay the same good old Alex, getting back into what the society expects of me.

“It’s not easy to be the only gay man on the ship. There is Leet and the occasional female encounter to help but it’s not the same. I would like to get closer to you, to know you better in many ways than just to be your XO. I like you very much, Alex. Please, if you are uncomfortable or if this isn’t for you, I understand and will not bother you with this anymore. If you are unsure, just know that I will go at your speed, that I will never force you to do anything you aren’t comfortable with. What are your thoughts? Be open with me, whatever it is,” he finishes, his voice showing hope and fright at the same time.

We remain two statues under the rain for a few seconds, gleaming under the sun. Am I going to soar into the sky with him, letting my deviant mind bring me to the moon and beyond? Am I going to know when to stop this madness as I feel the heat of his body against mine, the sweat of our furious filthiness taking me too close and burning all I know around me? Am I going to change so much that my impure mind will only want hunky intimacy, rejecting a lifetime of good decisions and lovemaking with sirens?

Those are my thoughts as the silence stretches between us, having what Natasha and Akari said competing with my fears, creating a deeply disturbing melting-pot in my mind. Unable to come to a conclusion, I end up telling him that, unsure that I could say something else.

“Bruce, you are the first man to let me know that I’m a,” I pause as the word is difficult to say, “catch and propose to me. I’m not sure if that’s for me, I never had any thought about men before. This is so new, so sudden, so unnerving. If it ever happens,” I pause before saying the next word, emphasizing it, “IF I decide to, you will need to give me the time to go through it and to be comfortable with it,” I tell him with a shaking voice, expressing that I might accept, causing a cleaving reaction inside of me, two sides fighting a battle to the death.

I decide to be courageous and turn toward him, willingly exposing my nakedness to this man and allowing myself to be confronted by his sex appeal. I look up, his blue eyes already focused on mine, and try to see if he understands me.

What I see is hope, gentleness, and understanding, not the raunchy lewdness I was expecting. He has a friendly smile as if we were simply discussing around beers in a pub.

“Alex, this is all I can ask for. Don’t worry,” he emphasizes the next word as I did, “IF you decide to explore, I will follow your lead, I will never impose on you. I like you very much and hurting you is the last thing I want to do,” he finishes, an expression of relief forming on his face as I haven’t outright rejected him.

I start to look down, the intensity of his gaze making me shy, until I stumble on his hard and veiny dick. I quickly get back to his face, feeling mine reddening at my untoward action.

“You can look as much as you want, I’m not stopping you,” he tells me, an inviting smile to let myself be intrigued, to be excited to look at him. Without leaving my sight, he picks up his soap and starts to wash himself, rubbing his shining pecks under the artificial lights.

The combat that has started is at its climax, reaching a height of intensity that I have never had before. All happens in my mind, questions and arguments thrown from one side to the other, in the hope that one will hit hard and resolve this war.

What are you doing? Avert your gaze, don’t look at him!

But, I’m so curious. I’m thrilled at discovering this side of me. I want to explore.

You love women. You only love women! Don’t look at him like you would with women.

But, if it is just looking? If it is just touching? If it is just getting pleasure?

NO! NEVER! What would your friends say? What would your parents say? What would the world think of you?

But, I’m so far from home. If we keep it secret, what’s the harm? What can I lose? Not Akari, that’s for sure! I need to see him, I need to find out, I need to get the answer once and for all.

You will make us lose everything. Akari will leave us, we will be fired, we will never come back in space. Don’t make us leave behind what we worked so hard to get.

If I listened to you, I would not be in space. If I followed everything you said, I would not know Akari. If I left you to control my life, I would be a miserable man. Now, shut the fuck up and let me live how I want!

Having forced a missile full of words into my fears, exploding its arguments to bits, I leave my curiosity take over me, letting my gaze follow the curves of his body. I see his arms are a little bit defined, but it is rather his chest that shows his muscles. Without any hair anywhere below his face, his nipples are sticking out, on mounts created by his pecks. His dark belly is softly defined by a subtle six-pack.

Moving further, I find his nether region and his hard dick. It is sticking out, similar in length and size to mine, but having much more prominent veins and texture. He doesn’t have a foreskin, exposing his gleaming glans under the water. It strobes a little bit under my gaze, happy to have the attention from another man.

Bruce moves around, showing me his ass. As he turns on himself, I see the outline of his cheeks coming into view, their roundness enticing me. They look to be firm yet so inviting that I breathe deeply as they are fully exposed to me. It is magnificent, all I ever wanted to see on a woman’s ass is on him, heightening my arousal.

A part of me is screaming in treason, telling me this is wrong, but I ignore it, too excited by the sight in front of me.

“I see that you like my ass?” Bruce asks, seeing how much attention I give it. “You can touch if you want.”

I raise my sight in surprise, having only envisioned that I would watch.

Panic must show on my face as Bruce adds, “Maybe not.”

I’m not ready to go there. Is that my fright talking again? Should I?

He turns around, hiding his deeply arousing rear-end. “You seem to like what you see, your dick looks to be painfully hard.”

I look down, not having realized that I was also giving him a show. I shy as he gazes at me, at showing myself to another man, to be excited sexually in the presence of another guy. Without realizing it, I move my right hand to my cock, to try to hide my erection.

“If you want to touch yourself, go right ahead. It is important to release all built-up energy like this,” he says softly with a friendly smile. Although, his eyes show a different emotion, excitement opening wide his pupil.

I’m slightly shocked by his suggestion, at engaging in such activities beside him. Despite my reticence, I instinctively grab my dick and start to stroke, the need to evacuate all of the sexual energy accumulated during the day taking priority over my hesitations.

Bruce smiles at me and joins me in pleasuring himself, jerking his cock softly. I look at his hand rubbing his hardness, attracted by what he’s doing, feeling like I’m watching porn. I relax as my dick sends my heart pumping faster and my brain feeling the effects of oxytocin. I start to imagine what it would be like to have my dick there instead of his, having his hands around me, bringing me to heaven.

I suddenly stop, realizing that I could ask him to jerk me. Panic and excitement invade me, playing yo-yo with my mind, sending my thoughts to extremes. Although this time, the combat is quickly won, my frights still recovering from our earlier confrontation.

I leave his cock and raise my sight to his face. He is looking at mine, a content smile on his lips as he must be fantasizing about me.

Gathering my courage, I ask him with a stuttering voice, “D-Do you want… want to wa-n-nk… s-stro-ke-ke me?”

He stops and raises his face, a pleasant surprise slowly changing to an excited smile.

“I would love to,” he says very softly, “Can I? I’m going to come closer” he finishes with excitement barely contained in his voice.

Showing the hand that was on his dick a moment ago, he walks slowly toward me. I let mine fall from my cock and watch him approach, excitement increasing as the distance shortens.

The flames I saw earlier are now burning torches, his desire for me showing in everything he does.

Afraid that he might get the wrong idea, I clarify, “Just stro-k-ke me, nothing more.”

"Okay" is the only word he says, but I see my warning having an effect on him, his eyes softening as he better manages his expectations.

He is now twenty centimeters from me, I feel the heat coming from his body. I look at his hand as he slowly reaches out toward my dick.

When he encircles my erection, I inhale sharply, a feeling of excitement rushing through my whole body. He slowly starts to stroke me, I feel my body become relaxed for the first time today, simply enjoying the strong hand moving over me. He speeds up slowly, matching my breathing with his motion.

I raise my head to look at him, so surprised by how much pleasure I’m getting from him. He also lifts his gaze, sharing his enjoyment.

“It isn’t so bad after all, right?” he tells me with passion.

I nod at him and decide to add, “I’ll be cum-m-ming soon. Don’t, please don’t stop.”

His smile widens, returning his gaze to my dick to see the final. I do the same, wanting to experience this fully. It doesn’t take long for me to reach my climax, the fire burning deep inside of me, having been fueled all day by Akari, Leet, and Emma.

As I feel my toes curl under me, I let a guttural sound escape me, letting my orgasm consume my body. I grab the showerhead to steady myself, making sure that I stay upright as I feel my body shaking from the force of it all. I close my eyes as I see the stars beyond the bulkhead, the explosion of pleasure in my mind increasing the whole experience.

When I have finally consumed all of my excitement, I re-open my eyes, finding Bruce with a wide smile. I still feel his hand move on my slowly softening cock, his warm embrace feeling gratifying after the explosion I just felt.

Widening his smile, he tells me with a content voice, “Glad that ran into you tonight, Alex.”

As he stops rubbing me, I look down and see that his dick is covered with my cum. I blink at my white seed on his darkness, looking like an éclair with frosting on top.

“Sorry about the mess,” I say shyly, still very unsure of the whole experience, even though it was simply amazing.

It doesn’t take long for me to understand as he takes his hand off my dick and starts spreading my cum on his, using it as lube. I look avidly as his erection becomes shinier, finding his motion over his cock very erotic.

“It was on purpose. If you don’t mind, I’ll be doing mine now. You are free to watch if you feel like it,” he suggests with lightness in his voice, moving back under his showerhead.

As he starts to move over his cock, I feel an attraction to the motion, to what he’s doing in front of me. Even though he was the one bringing me into the whole thing, I feel a need to thank him for helping me explore this side of myself that I didn’t know to exist. I’m still shy about my attraction to him, maybe even shocked by it, but he’s only been friendly and patient with me. Could I simply tell him thanks?

As I’m debating what I should do, I haven’t seen that I’ve been getting closer to him, one step at a time. I feel like his cock is inviting me, making me aroused even though I’ve cum minutes ago. I bite my lower lip, arousal building exponentially as the distance reduces.

Again, before I’m conscious of what I’m doing, I ask, “Would you li-k-ke me to stro-o-ke you?”

As I was approaching, Bruce’s smile has widened, feeling that something was coming. He says with the softest voice, but full of need at the same time, “I would love it so much.”

I extend my right hand, reaching out for his gleaming cock, shining under the harsh light. He removes his grip, leaving me to take control of him. When I finally touch it, it bounces in my hand, like it was attracted to it. The sensation is weird, I know what a cock feels like, I’ve masturbated enough, but this is different. The temperature is off, the bumps are not the same, the pleasure I get is not physical but mental. As I start rubbing his rod, I hear Bruce exhale loudly, a short sound of ecstasy escaping at the same time. This makes me smile, I know the feeling.

Slowly but surely, I start to get comfortable, heck I start to become aroused and taken by the experience. So much that I decide to get a closer look. Getting on my knees, I continue to stroke Bruce, but with having his cock few centimeters from me. I look up, recognizing the feeling of pleasure painted on his face, having had the same one countless times.

I play with his dick, sometimes going slowly, sometimes going fast, seeing how he reacts. I always loved to see my partner’s reactions when we are having fun, this is not different, except that I get what he’s feeling. As I feel the powerful aphrodisiac run through my veins, I plunge into my mind to find ways I like to be played with. Although I know so many techniques, there is one that I particularly love, that I assume he would.

Bringing my face closer, I kiss the tip of his dick. I hear a sharp inhale followed by a deep groan. I look up, loving that his reaction was caused by me.

“I didn’t know you were adventurous like this,” Bruce says, the fire in his eyes relit.

I smile shyly at him, although inside of me I’m ecstatic. Keeping eye contact, I extend my tongue and take a lick at his glans. His face distorts from the pleasure, his breathing accelerating. Bringing my mouth closer, I engulf his cock, closing my lips onto his manhood. I rub my tongue under him, I suck lightly his glans, I move slowly over him. I’m thrilled by the experience, to feel his liveliness in my mouth, finding the experience absolutely exciting, feeling my cock growing back.

“Oh, Alex! You will make me cum if you continue. Stop. Stop. I’ll cum in your mouth,” he warns me, but I have already decided that I’m going through. I continue with more force, moving my lips firmly pressed against his hardness, sucking his glans, and twirling my tongue around him.

Suddenly, Bruce stiffens before yelling, “FUCK!”

As I feel his dick pulsate, I feel rope after rope of cum hitting my mouth. I find this whole experience so arousing, my mouth over him, a hand milking him, the other over my own erection, furiously stroking it. It is also the look he gives me as he cums, showing me how much he loves what I’m doing to him, how liberating it must feel for him to have another man to share this.

He finally stops cumming, allowing me to remove him from my mouth, letting it go with a pop. He looks at me with a mix of surprise, lust, satisfaction, and hopefulness.

From my position in front of his cock, I tell him, “Sorry, I think I got carried away.”

He inhales sharply, before saying with a laugh, “Alex, you can suck my dick whenever you want, don’t ever feel sorry about it.”

He helps me to get on my feet and offers a hug. I hesitate for two seconds, but finally accept it, hugging him back. As I feel his arms wrap around me, our cocks get sandwiched on our stomachs. It feels like we have two red hot rods between us, heightening my arousal.

He raises his head to look at me and asks me, “Would you go one step further and kiss me?”

How can I resist him after what we have done tonight?! I move my head forward and we kiss, lightly but with more passion as we go. I’m so aroused right now by all the discovery I’ve done tonight but I have to control myself.

As I let him go, I say, “I loved our exploration but let’s stop now. I want to think about it before anything else happens.”

Bruce looks at me with softness and understanding, knowing what I’m talking about. “You have done much more than what I was hoping for. We will take it slow, come to me when you feel ready.”

I smile as we separate, happy that he understands and supports me in all this. We go back to our showers, chatting lightly about what has just happened. Although, the tension between us resurrects as we move our hands over our bodies. It is still there as we get to the lockers, our cocks leading the way.

As he grabs a fresh towel, he asks, “Would you like me to towel you?”

I bite my lower lip, feeling the desire to do more. “Okay, but only that and as long as I can do the same for you.”

He smiles and nods, putting the towel on my body. He roams around me, making sure to remove all traces of water. He takes good care of my dick and ass, on his knees in front of me. As he finishes, he gives a kiss to my dick.

“Bruce,” I say softly, his warm mouth making me dream of having him continue.

“I just wanted to kiss good night to your dick,” he says happily.

The temptation is really hard to combat, his silent offer making me doubt my resolve.

“Your turn,” he says as he rises.

A dry towel in hand, I move around him as he did for me. I gently take care of him, taking my time to look at his alluring body, leaving my hands to roam over his dark skin. As I’m behind him, I rest my dick between his ass cheek as I towel his shoulders, moving back and forth, bumping on him as I get higher.

“I made a promise to Akari to not see anyone tonight,” I tell Bruce as I lean on his back, my chest almost touching him.

“Will she be angry?”

“I’m sure she is rubbing herself as we speak”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” he replies, laughing softly. “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you want to,” he adds to tempt me.

“It was my idea to begin with, I need to take it easy.”

“I see. Well, let’s keep that for another time.”

Leaving his ass, I get to my knees and kiss his cock goodnight, returning the favor. I hear him sigh as he enjoys my lips on his hot rod. I raise my gaze to him, seeing how turned on this makes him.

“You aren’t just a beautiful young man, you are a tease. I would fuck you right now.”

I smirk at him and peck his dick one last time before rising. We look at each other intensely, knowing full well that this is just the beginning, grins forming on our faces.

Although, the voice comes back from the corner I’ve banished it, making me say, “Can we keep that between us?”

“Absolutely, I’m not going to tell anyone. Although, Akari saw us,” he tells me with compassion.

“Don’t worry, I’ll deal with her myself,” I reply, winking.

He chuckles as he puts his towels over his body. With our tented clothing, we go for the door. He opens it and looks around, confirming we can exit without being seen.

As he goes for the stairs, he turns, winks, and softly says, “I’m glad we could talk. Let’s chat another time.”

“Yes, let’s chat again,” I say, returning his wink, “Good night,”

“Good night, Alex,” he replies before heading up.

As I look at Bruce going up the stairs, I see someone popping at the other end of the corridor. Akari’s face is pure joy, her mouth open in awe, her eyes gleaming like diamonds. She starts to come toward me, but I put a hand up. She reluctantly stops, pouting.

I tell her, “Tomorrow evening, I’ll give you the details.”

“You are such a tease,” she says from across the hallway.

“That’s what he said,” I tell her before laughing.

She joins me, bending over and grabbing the wall to steady herself.

“Okay, time for bed. Have sweet dreams,” I smirk at her, knowing what type she will have.

“You bet! You too,” she says. She looks at me before she enters her bedroom, laughter replaced by excitement and impatience.

I snort at the peculiar day I’ve just had. I’m still overwhelmed by what just happened, but I’m happy that it did. I feel lighter, I feel—

I hear a dry cough behind me.

Who is there? Have they heard about… Oh, no, they must have seen Bruce go. I turn around with apprehension and discover Emma. Her eyes are targeting me, half-angry, half-desiring to fuck me right there.

“Wasn’t it your ‘alone’ evening?” she asks, doing air quotes.

I really cannot catch a break. I look at her, annoyance and worries mixing in my tired brain.

“I cannot control who showers when I’m there, can I?!” I say with just enough frustration in my voice.

“What about this morning?”

“You snitched to the captain that we did, how could I have locked the door?” I say, feeling brave tonight.

Oh, what a mistake!

She rushes me, pushing me against the wall. Having me pinned down, she grabs my dick from under my towel and squeezes hard. When she approaches her face, her smile makes me whiten instantly.

“One day, I’ll have your dick and make you my bitch. I’ll torture you until you can’t take it, for letting me wait,” she says, adding more pressure as she talks.

In a mix of fright, arousal, and attraction for her, I reply, “Emma, you know I’m joking?”

“I don’t joke.”

“How about this morning?” I say, trying to get on top of the argument.

Second mistake.

She squeezes harder, feeling her nails starting to bite into my flesh. Her expression changes to wicked arousal, at the control she has over me.

“Damn, Emma,” I say painfully. I lower my voice to add, “Please, just don’t say anything about Bruce. I’ll do what you want, just keep it for yourself.”

Her face suddenly softens, her eyes lose their aggressiveness, and her hand loosens on my cock. For a second, I do not recognize the person in front of me, having a friendly version of Emma.

“Okay, I’ll keep my mouth shut,” she says softly. “I want to be your friend, I’m not going to make you fuck me for my silence.” She starts to move her hand in a slow and steady motion, pleasuring my dick with the palm used to torture me seconds ago.

I hardly recognize her, this is a side that I didn’t know she had. I relax before saying, “Thank you. I’m glad you will not tell anyone.”

She continues to stroke my erection, making me moan as I feel her gentle yet firm hand on me. As she makes me feel better, I almost ask her if she wants to come into my room and remove the little bit of clothing we have. As I debate this, she gives me my answer by removing her hand from under the towel and turning toward the gym. Giving me a last glance, I see her friendliness morphing back into her normal self, a sort of calm rage that keeps her ready for anything.

We part, she goes toward the gym and I go to my room. As I open the door, a nasty idea pops into my head.

“Emma,” I say.

She turns around and looks at me, frowning.

I prepare my hand on the button before I say, “Wear your bikini when I let you fuck me.”

She reddens for a second before her anger distorts her face, marching while saying, “You motherfucker. Your night is tonight!”

Seeing the ball of rage coming at me, I quickly close the door and engage the lock. Bangs fall on the metal, roar penetrates into my room as if she was right beside me. I’m laughing at my joke, knowing that I’ll get the beating of a lifetime later.

“You will pay for that. I’ll fucking break you, you hear me. I’ll make you—”

“What’s wrong Emma? What did he do?” Akari says.

“Your fucking boy toy is a freaking tease.”

I hear a soft knock, Akari saying, “You’re playing with Emma, right?”

“So much.”

“You know she will beat you to death?”

“That’s what she said,” I say before laughing again.

Akari laughs on the other side while Emma barks through the door, “You’ll pay, Alex!”

I hear her loud footsteps going away, the floor slightly resonating as she angrily marches. I sit on the floor, against the wall, feeling tired after all the commotion of the day, having a scared chuckle at the thought of Emma preparing revenge.

“She’s gone. Are you going to open the door?” Akari asks.

“Nope, it’s my evening alone. Remember?”

“Yeah, that didn’t go as planned.”

“No, it didn’t,” I tell her while sighing. “Okay, time to relax. See you tomorrow?”

“Oh, yeah, I want to know everything. All the happy crunchy details,” she replies.

“Anyway,” I say slowly, rolling my eyes at the same time, “Love you.”

“Love you too,” she replies.

I let my head rest on the hard metal, feeling exhausted by the day. My exploration with Bruce is at the front of my mind, conflicting feelings combating as the images of my shower run in repeat. Eventually, I decide that I’m not going to find my answers tonight, not being something that I want to take lightly.

I rise and do my pre-bedtime routine, getting ready to sleep. Ditching my towel as I fall on my bed, I look at my cock, reliving the highlights of the day. It slowly grows as the images hit my mind, fueling my motion as my body slackens, my breathing increases, and my pleasure grows. Even though I already had a very busy day, playing with myself feels liberating, only having to think about myself, only considering my own gratification.

When all the accumulated pressure releases, I let a deep sigh of satisfaction and pure pleasure. I continue to stroke as my toes curl, wanting to feel this good for longer, an egotistic desire to stay in heaven. As my body trembles, my mind finally relaxes from all of my worries, only having the fleeting sensation of sexual happiness running through my neurons.

My body calms as I stay motionless on the bed, only feeling my cock soften in my hand. As I’m registering my surroundings, I feel a few spots of coldness on my belly, a reminder of the mess I’ll have to clean. Leaving my eyes closed, I breathe deeply in comfort, feeling that I’ve found my place in the world. From finding great people to work with, having my dream job, and, most importantly, having found love, I feel complete and serene. There are few snags here and there, Bruce and his tempting offer being the latest along with Emma’s threats, but those are happy problems that I can deal with.

Rising from the bed, I gather the result of my solo evening, laughing at the thought that it wouldn’t be a problem with Akari or Bruce beside me. Nonetheless, I feel that I needed to be alone, to have time to only be with me, even though it half-succeeded.

Picking up where I left off, I read my book for a bit, getting back into that fictional world set far in the future. I relax as the story envelops me into its magic, reading hungrily as the character has issues he has to resolve. As I see his spirit being crushed by adversity, I empathize with him and wish he was more confident in himself. I continue to read for a few chapters, having been caught in a great plot.

When I close the lights, I’m beaten by sleep, having yawned for the last ten minutes. As I rest my head on the pillow and close my eyes, I appreciate that I do not have anyone beside me, not needing to warm them up or getting sweaty because they are hot. I extend my arms and legs to form a star, taking all the space. Although, my last conscious thought is about Akari, liking that I will be back beside her tomorrow.