Change comes to all of us over time. Sometimes it’s quick, but often it’s imperceptibly slow.

Many people look back on their lives and wonder what the hell happened. They think, “I used to be that, but now I’m this. This isn’t me. Where did I go?” The years change them like waves eroding the beach, until they collapse.

That’s not what happened to me. I know exactly what happened. Change came to me on a warm night in May of 2022. She wore a green dress.

~~~

Mike’s country house was a home away from home for me. I hadn’t been there in years, but it lived in my memories. Mike’s father had purchased the rambling ranch house when Mike and I were just boys. It was a retreat for the family during the summer months, and fortunately, I was counted among their number.

I had so many memories there. Running through the woods, camping, playing Cowboys and Indians. Splashing around in the lake. Paddling around in a canoe. And of course, teasing his little sister Tina. It seemed that no matter where we went, she would find us somehow. She was all right, though. She just wanted to join in the fun. Looking back, I realized that many of the best hours of my life had been spent there.

Mike and I stayed close all through High School. He was a great friend and always seemed to be the center of whatever group he was in. He was immediately likable and a natural leader. We still stayed in touch during our college days, although we rarely saw one another. He majored in business, and I studied writing and communications. After college, he had started a career in sales and was now doing very well.

I started writing seriously in my junior year and somehow managed to get my first novel published by the time I graduated. It was not great literature – just a science fiction yarn I had been thinking about for a while. I had published two more novels since then, creating a series around a typical hero and his group of stalwart friends. What can I say? I enjoyed my work, and it paid the bills.

I got a message from Mike inviting me to a party at the old place, and I was quite happy at the thought of seeing him again. It had been far too long. He mentioned that his younger sister Tina was going to be there, and that also piqued my interest. She had always been very pretty as a child, and I think she had a crush on me through my high school years. The age gap was too much, though. It occurred to me that now that I was 27, she would be 23. I became quite curious to see what kind of woman she had grown up to be. Maybe she was still nursing that crush.

I arrived at the place around 7:30. Probably too early, but it was still the middle of May, so I knew I’d have to get there early to see my old stamping grounds while the sun was still up.

The house looked exactly as I remembered it when I came up the long driveway. A little older perhaps, and in need of some paint, but it still looked like home. It did seem awfully deserted, though. I parked and walked toward the house. I took a few more steps and shouted, “Hey – Is anyone here?”

A short while later I saw a pretty young woman coming around the corner of the house. She was a petite blonde with lovely blue eyes, a splash of freckles, and a smile that could break a man’s heart at a thousand paces.

“Jimmy? Is that you?” she said.

“Tina, you little squirt! Look at you! You’re all grown up!”

She ran over and gave me a huge hug. I thought she was going to break my spine! Then she surprised me by reaching up and giving me a big sloppy kiss on the mouth. She broke away far sooner than I’d liked, and said, “You know, I always wanted to do that!”

“Well, don’t let me stop you!”

She just laughed and grabbed my hand, and started hauling me toward the back of the house.

“Mike’s back here. He’ll want to see you right away.”

We turned the corner, and sure enough, Mike was standing there by the fire pit with an armload of firewood. He tossed it into a pile near the pit, and came over. We shook hands and hugged, and just generally basked in being together after so long an absence.

We talked about old times, and caught up a little. It felt like we were just resuming a conversation from a few minutes before. I couldn’t recall any time in the last couple of years when I’d been happier.

I helped him carry firewood, and helped Tina move some chairs and tables, along with a few other minor chores. She remained friendly with me, but in a more sisterly way. Just my luck.

Eventually people started trickling in by ones and twos. By the time the sun went down, the crowd was getting large, and the party was in full swing. I recognized a few old friends, but a lot of the partiers were Mike’s college chums, and some colleagues from his work. I didn’t know many of them.

The music was getting loud outside. People were drinking, smoking, enjoying some edibles, and just generally having a great time. I’ve always been a bit of a loner, and this wasn’t my scene. I was always much more comfortable talking with someone one-on-one.

I kept looking around at how much fun everyone else was having. Eventually I saw Tina floating around the crowd. Always the social butterfly. I went over and chatted with her for a minute, and asked her what she was up to these days.

“Well, things are going pretty well. I’m working at a place called ‘Inner Beauty’ downtown. It’s a day spa, and I really enjoy it. I mainly do hair, but I’m learning a lot of other skills there. The best part is my boss, Katie. She’s awesome! She treats us all really well, and encourages me to learn new things. I invited her and some of the other ladies here tonight. I hope they show up!”

I was trying to figure out whether it would be a reasonable thing to ask her out. I began to build an elegant, logical plan in my mind. A plan for a conversation that would surely lead her to the inevitable conclusion that I was the man for her. Suddenly she flashed that beautiful smile at me, and said, “Hang on a sec! I’ll be right back."

About 10 seconds later, she returned. “Jim, this is my fiancée, Terry Dawson. Terry, this is my old friend Jim.” I stood there smiling while my elegant plan crashed and burned around my feet. I hated this guy at first glance. He was about 6’5”, skinny as a rail, and sported a big, flashy smile. He reminded me of a cornstalk with teeth. She could have done so much better. Still, there was nothing to do but stick my big dumb hand out and congratulate this rotten jerk.

That experience was a real kick in the balls. Just what I didn’t need tonight. I broke away from them as soon as I could. I grabbed a beer out of the cooler and went inside. I needed a little quiet time.

Sitting there on the sofa, I returned to thoughts I’d had in the past. Why was my life always like this? Always alone. Always on the outside.

I’d been told I was a good-looking man. I’m 6’1 with a dark complexion, wavy brown hair, and dark brown eyes. I take care to keep in good shape. I run nearly every day and do weight training twice a week. A drunken girl who came home with me from a college party once told me I had ‘puppy-dog eyes’, whatever that means, and that she could ‘look at me all day long’. Of course, she’d thrown up all over my dorm room while she was taking off her clothes, so I don’t know how much faith I’d put in her judgement.

There had been plenty of dates with girls, and quite a few had turned into one-night stands. I had no complaints at all, and it seemed like the girls were pleased with my performance. I tended to put their needs first. It seemed like the right thing to do.

Getting the girls was never my problem. Keeping them was a disaster. We didn’t fight or anything. They just seemed to drift away after a week or so. I couldn’t understand it, but it really bothered me.

I had just about made up my mind to go home when I heard the back door sliding on its tracks.

“Hello. Are you Jim Davidson, by any chance?”

I looked up and saw a girl that I could only describe as exquisite.

She was about 5’8”, with an athletic build. Her body drew my eye immediately. She was lean and well-muscled, with nice breasts, and legs that seemed to go on forever.

Her hair was absolutely lovely - loose auburn curls that cascaded down her shoulders like fire. I instantly longed to touch it. To sit on a beach with her by the ocean, running my fingers through it while she sipped a drink from a coconut.

Those curls framed a face that would have been at home in a Renaissance painting. Men in that painting would have been at her feet, worshipping her as she descended from heaven. Her nose was noble, feminine and perfect. Her lips were utterly enticing. I would have paid any price for a chance to kiss them.

She wore a green dress that really brought out her hair color and matched the deep green of her eyes. I think I could have looked at those eyes for the rest of my life, and still been surprised at their beauty.

Beyond her obvious physical beauty, something intangible about her stood out. She seemed to radiate confidence and control. I was struck by a feeling of nobility and grace. She should have been accompanied by a retinue of servants and courtiers, all vying for her favor.

She was nothing like the blondes that I tended to chase, but one look at her made me think I’d been barking up the wrong tree for years.

It took all the willpower I had to make myself stop staring at her.

“Yes, I’m Jim. What can I do for you?”

“I’m sorry to bother you. I’m Katie Martin. Tina works for me down at my spa. She said she thought she saw you come in here. She’s told me so much about you, Jim, and I just wanted to introduce myself and say hello."

I walked over and shook her hand. “Well, it’s good to meet you, Katie. Tina has nothing but good things to say about you. She really admires you.”

We sat down, and she laughed. “I could say the same about you. Frankly, I think she’s about half in love with you, but she has committed herself to some farm boy she dug up somewhere.”

“Yeah – I met him tonight. I hope he knows how lucky he is. Tina’s a real sweetheart.”

“Look. I apologize for cornering you like this,” she said. “It seems like you wanted to be alone. If you want me to go away, just say so. I promise I won’t be offended.”

“No! Please stay. It’s just that I’m not much of a party animal. Noisy groups of drunk strangers aren’t my native habitat, so I came in here for a break. I’d really love some quiet conversation.”

And that’s how the most important conversation of my life started. Change had come. I just didn’t know it.

This woman was so clearly out of my league. Yet, here she was, asking if I minded talking to her. In reality, I would have crawled over broken glass just to have the slightest opportunity to talk to her.

She took charge of the conversation immediately by telling me a bit about her background and career. Her assertiveness surprised me, but I’d see much more of that quality over time.

I learned that she grew up in a town about twenty miles south. I’d been there many times.

She earned a master's degree in psychology in Chicago, but had become disillusioned with the field. Her parents were well off, so she stayed in school and completed a Master's in Business. Her father was happy about that. He had never put any faith in that “Head Shrinking Nonsense,” as he called it.

Somewhere along the way she had taken an interest in cosmetics. Kids had made fun of her early on. She said that when she was young, she had a body like a newborn giraffe, all legs and unsightly spots. To make things worse, her brother had hit her with a baseball and given her a crook in her nose. That all combined to make her self-conscious about her looks as a teenager.

She eventually grew into her legs, and her mother had shown her how to use makeup to deemphasize the problem with her nose. That helped her feel better about her appearance. She pointed out the slight crook in her nose. I told her I thought it was adorable.

She also found that makeup provided a nice artistic outlet for her. She started helping friends with their makeup for college dances and parties, and soon developed a reputation for making other girls look terrific.

After a little research, she found that helping women look good could be lucrative. There was especially good money to be made from brides, if you knew how to do it. And she really did. Her business background helped her understand how to determine pricing and advertising, and how to create a really good package of services.

Her psychology training gave her the edge she needed to beat her competitors. She discovered that a lot of women, and brides in particular, were incredibly insecure about their appearance. She used her training to find the root of their insecurity. She bolstered their self-confidence, and they walked away feeling truly beautiful.

She was not a licensed therapist, and didn’t have any desire to be, but she enjoyed helping women in a tangible and satisfying way. Many of her clients tended to come back for touch-ups and advice on a regular basis.

Her business grew, and her reputation had spread. She had managed her money carefully, and eventually opened her own Day Spa.

I asked a lot of questions about her experiences, and discovered that I really respected her intellect. She had a sharp mind and a wicked sense of humor. She was also able to express herself clearly and succinctly.

I had a pet peeve about people talking just to make noise, and that was definitely not Katie’s style. Every word she spoke was necessary and important. Her voice was calm and soothing. At times it was almost hypnotic. The cadence and phrasing she used made me want to focus on every word.

I felt like I could just sit and listen to her voice for hours.

She soon turned her attention to me. She said that Tina had told her I was a writer and was doing well. She wanted to know more about it.

I did what I always do. I used some self-deprecating humor about the material I had written. It was just science fiction junk and so on. She put her hand on my arm and said, “Stop that right now!”

Her voice carried an edge that I hadn’t heard before. I was shocked at the intensity of her reaction.

“Jim, do you know how I found out about you?” she said. “I saw Tina reading a book on her break, and I asked what it was. She told me it was one of her favorites, and it was written by a friend. She told me all about you, and then loaned me the book. It was Lost Empire. I read it that weekend and absolutely loved it. And for your information, I’ve also read your other two books. I’m hoping there’s more to come. I need to know what happens to Paul Duncan next.

“To be totally honest, Jim, I’m a huge fan. You have such a great talent for creating characters that seem real and reasonable. They do things real people would do. They have real feelings. They speak the way real people speak.

“You are also terrific at describing the worlds your characters inhabit. When Ellen Marsden first walked into the Temple at Garhan, I could absolutely see it in my mind. I felt like I was there with her. I’ve re-read that chapter so many times. It gives me goosebumps.

“I’ll tell you something a little embarrassing. I used to paint when I was younger. I wasn’t very good, though, so I gave it up. When I read that chapter, I got my paints out of storage, and painted the temple. It affected me that strongly.

“I’m a very smart woman, Jim. I can out-think just about anyone I come up against. And yet, I would never, ever, in a million years, be able to do what you do. You have a gift I will never have. So don’t you dare sit there and try to minimize it. I won’t stand for it.”

I was struck by a wave of emotion. It was always hard for me to accept praise. I actually got a bit choked up, and suddenly found something very interesting to look at in the corner of the room. I was deeply embarrassed, and didn’t want this magnificent woman to see me like this.

She gently took hold of my chin and made me look at her. She spoke in a low, soothing voice that sounded like velvet. “Jim, don’t ever be ashamed of what you write. You have a lot of talent, and you should be proud of that. Not many guys can get their first novel published, let alone do it while they’re still in school. You are really good at what you do, and you are worthy of every good thing, and every bit of praise you receive for it. Never forget that.”

I didn’t know what to say. She had seen right through me. She had somehow reached right past all of my well-constructed defenses, found the weakest part of me, a tower of self-doubt. She had kicked it down, and replaced it with something stronger.

It struck me that this woman, who I’d known for less than an hour, had actually seen me. She understood me and had made the effort to make me feel good about myself. I had a hard time speaking, but eventually said, “Thanks. That was a really nice thing to say.”

She gently caressed my shoulder and said, “Jim, being an artist of any kind, whether it's painting, sculpting, writing, or what have you, can be a terribly lonely thing. Self-doubt can eat at you and destroy you if you let it. I’m telling you right now - you mustn’t let it!”

I think if she had gotten up and left at that point, I would’ve been in love with her for the rest of my life. But she didn’t leave. Instead, she told me all this talking had made her thirsty, and asked if I could get her a drink. I was more than happy to do it. I would have given her my car keys if she’d wanted them. But I went off and got her a drink. Looking back, I think she knew I needed a little time to get my emotional house in order.

We talked about a lot of other things after that. She made me feel as if I could say anything to her without fear of judgement, and she seemed comfortable saying anything she liked to me. We talked like we had known each other for years. It was so liberating. Honestly, the rest of the night just went by in a blur.

At some point, her watch started buzzing. She looked at it and said, “Well, crud. It’s 1 AM. I’m sorry to say I have to go. I have an early morning tomorrow.”

I started to rise to walk her out, but she put her hand on my arm and pulled me back down on the sofa.

“Before I go, there are some things I need to say. I know you’re supposed to play your cards close to the vest, but who has time for that? I lay my cards on the table, and I win, or I lose. Is that okay with you?”

“Sure. I appreciate honesty.”

“Good! First, I want to say that I really enjoyed talking to you tonight. I mean that. If I weren’t so tired, I’d probably talk with you until sunrise.

“Tina said I would like you. She said that you were kind, and smart, and that you were, well, really hot. I absolutely agree with her. I don’t know what the future holds, but I have a feeling we can be more than friends. I want that to happen.

“To be totally candid, Tina seems to think I should just marry you tomorrow to save time. That seems a little rash to me, but get me some tequila, and who knows?”

We both chuckled about that.

She let me digest all that for a moment and then went on. “Second, I’ll be honest and tell you that I have had miserable luck when it comes to love. I’m so tired of men lying to me. I’ve made an intensive study of reading body language. I can detect a liar from a hundred yards away.

“When a man and woman meet and start flirting, lies are almost always a big part of the package. But when I sat here with you tonight, it wasn’t like that at all. I did detect a few places where you embellished a little, but overall you were remarkably honest with me.”

“Well,” I said, “I’ve always felt that trying to build a relationship on top of a bunch of lies was the ultimate form of self-sabotage. It’s nice to know someone else feels that way.”

“And you are clearly not an egomaniac like so many other men. In fact, I think you are far too modest for your own good. That felt really refreshing. It made talking to you so much more enjoyable. I am so over mediocre guys who think they are doing me a favor by talking to me. That’s not you. I felt like I could let my guard down and just relax around you.”

She looked at me, her beautiful green eyes staring right into me. “Let’s cut to the chase. Would you be interested in taking me out to dinner some night? I’d really like to spend more time with you.”

“Absolutely,” I said. “I’ve also had some really rotten luck with love, but sitting here talking with you tonight has been one of the nicest times I’ve had in years. Somehow, I feel like I’ve known you for ages. I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re smart, kind, and beautiful, and just being with you makes me feel happy somehow.”

“That’s wonderful, and you’re very sweet to say that,” she said. Her smile nearly melted me.

“In fact, I’d love to take you out to dinner tomorrow if you have time,” I said.

“Well, I’d like to say yes, but there is a bit of a problem. I may as well get it into the open.

“Weddings are a very seasonal business. This is May, which is part of what I call ‘The time of madness’. It’s where I make about 30% of my annual revenue. Tons of girls want May and June weddings, so I tend to get booked solid for weeks. I’ve been swamped since mid-April, and I probably won’t see the sun again until July. There are a lot of 12-hour days in my future.

“To tell you the truth, Jim, I’m already running on empty. I mainly came here because I didn’t want to hurt Tina’s feelings. She’s sort of my unofficial kid sister. And to be honest, I wanted to meet you. She made a big point of telling me you’d be here.”

I laughed and said, “Thanks so much for making the effort. I’ve met a lot of fans, but no one like you. Meeting you has been a real pleasure. And I know exactly what you mean about Tina. I’d do anything for that little brat, and she knows it. She’s always been able to play me like a fiddle.”

She nodded and smiled. “So it comes down to this: I think if we tried to squeeze in a date right now, I’d probably be too tired or distracted to pay much attention. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us. As much as I want to see you again, I think it would be best to wait until I can come up for air. Would that be okay with you?”

I was devastated, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. I decided the only logical path was to support her and be patient.

“Of course. I won’t deny that I’m disappointed, but money is money. You’ve got to take care of that before anything else. If there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know. One benefit of being a writer is that my schedule is extremely flexible.”

She smiled. “I appreciate the offer, but unless you can stare down an angry bridezilla when she’s ready to charge, there’s probably not much you can do.”

After a moment, she said, “Do you have your phone on you?”

“Sure.” I pulled it out of my pocket.

“Unlock it, and I’ll get us connected,” she said.

She took it from me and fiddled around with it for a while, and shortly I heard her watch start buzzing.

It struck me again how assertive she was. I had been mentally fumbling around, looking for a way to ask for her number, and she had just gotten it done. She was so confident and self-assured. It made her seem even sexier than she was before.

She said, “Well, we may not be able to see each other for a while, but we can certainly stay in touch. I’ve got your number now, and I added my contact info to your phone.

“With my schedule being what it is, please don’t try to call me right now. I get swamped with calls, and it’ll just be a distraction. I’ll give you a call when I have a little free time. Would that be okay with you?”

Okay? Hell Yes! It would be all kinds of okay. I felt like jumping up off the sofa and doing a victory dance. But somehow I managed to avoid acting like a total ass.

“Ummm, sure – that sounds great. I’ll look forward to hearing from you.”

With that, she leaned in and kissed my lips, and walked off into the dark. I keenly felt her absence as I sat there in that empty room. All I had left was the taste of her lip gloss and the smell of her perfume. I savored them both for a while, and then headed out. The night had nothing more to offer me.