From the desk of Zasu:

I'm sorry to say this chapter doesn't have sex in it - just some light bondage. It's mostly Jim and Katie talking.

I know a good author shows things rather than talks about them, but Katie has been forced to hide in plain sight for years. She doesn't let anyone see who she really is, so there is nothing to show. She is ashamed of her own nature, and endures being trapped in her own personal prison.

I tried to avoid this chapter, but Katie insisted that I let her tell her story. She wants Jim, and you, gentle reader, to understand her. And like all of us, she needs to be loved. She needs that so desperately. She's willing to trust you and me with her secrets – but please keep them to yourself. She's a good person, and deserves our respect and kindness.

If you are looking for some good whacking material, there are many stories on Lush for your amusement. You can read one of those, and join us again for the next chapter. That one is pretty spicy. If, however, you care about Katie and Jim, and you want to know them better, read on. They'll appreciate it, and so will I. Thanks for your patience.

Best Regards

ZK

~~~

I arrived well ahead of Katie’s deadline. I was certain I could have been late without any repercussions, since she had worked so hard to bring me here. But why would I do that? What would it get me? Besides, I had my own plans, and the sooner I got started, the better.

Katie let me wait on the stoop for a bit. It was most likely a way to prove who the boss was, one more time.

I had no illusions now. I knew exactly what was going on. Katie had gone fishing for me. I had taken the bait, and she'd set the hook. She had played me so skillfully for two months. After a long struggle, she reeled me in. Now I was beside the boat, and she waited inside, ready to scoop me up with a net. I wasn't having it.

I had other plans. I was tired of her endless games. She'd made me wait. She'd lied to me. It had all been a test. Well, fuck that! When that door finally opened, I was going in, and she'd never know what hit her. I'd grab her and kiss her like she'd never been kissed. I'd sweep her up in my arms, and carry her to her bed. If she resisted, she would go anyway. I was strong, and I would leave her no choice. I'd throw her over my goddamned shoulder if I had to. Hell, maybe I’d just start with that.

Once I had her in the bedroom, I'd throw her on the bed, and tell her to shut her mouth and obey me. I was the man, and I was in charge. If she didn't like that, she could lump it. If she were wearing anything, I'd rip it off of her. I was going to climb on her, and absolutely destroy her. I was going to pound her ass into the mattress. I could think of twenty different ways I was going to fuck her, and by the time I was done, she'd never, ever, think about trying to give me another order. She'd be my woman, and she'd be damned glad just to shut up and enjoy what I did to her. I stood there in the dark, smiling about her fate. She had no idea what was coming.

Sure, Jim. Sure. When she finally let me in, I took one look at that face and turned to jelly. My plans blew away like smoke. My strength disappeared, and any illusion I had about who was in charge went with it. I stood there staring at those beautiful green eyes, her lovely hair, and the sprinkling of freckles that added such innocence to her face. I longed for the sound of her voice and the beauty of her smile. I loved her, and I was powerless in her presence.

I was surprised to see her in a loose set of sweats, rather than the silky lingerie she’d been wearing on our video call. I didn’t really care. She could wear a garbage bag, and I'd still think she was the sexiest woman on Earth. All that mattered was that I was finally with her. And I knew we were going to spend the night together, kissing, touching, and fucking until we had exhausted all of our strength. Then I'd hold her and listen to her sleeping. It was all I ever thought about these days.

She pulled me to her and kissed me so hard I thought she was going to break something. “Oh, Jim, honey, I’m so glad you’re finally here. I've waited all my life for you.”

“Me too, honey. This is where I belong,” and I kissed her back. My entire body ached for her.

When we separated, she surprised me. "Get on your knees for me now." Her voice was stern and commanding, leaving no room for argument.

I hesitated for a moment. This wasn't what I expected, but I realized resisting her was pointless. I'd do anything she asked. We both knew who was in charge. I dropped to my knees before her. I looked at her lovely face. I expected to see triumph there, but instead she looked wistful.

"Darling, if I were a different type of woman, I would take you now and ruin you. I'd play with you for a while. I'd use you and take everything you have, and then throw you away. I'd break your heart and destroy you. Believe me when I tell you I have the skills it takes to do that. I'm stronger than you, and you couldn't stop me. But that's not who I am. I could never do that to you. I love you, and I have no desire to hurt you. Instead, I've decided to warn you. You know I’m an unusual woman, with unusual needs. I need to make sure you understand the whole picture before you commit to me. That’s why I changed clothes. I don't want you to be distracted. I’ll need your full attention for this. Okay?”

“Sure, Katie. You can tell me anything.”

"I know you think you love me, but you don't really know me. Not yet. Before you commit to me, I want to tell you exactly who and what I am. And I want to tell you who you really are. I don't think you understand yourself very well. Most people don't. And I want to tell you what your life will be like if you stay with me."

She told me to rise and remove everything but my collar and panties. She took my hand and led me into her dining room. A pair of wooden chairs sat pulled away from the table, facing each other. A bag sat on the table. There was a pitcher of water and a couple of glasses, as well. She indicated one of the chairs and said, “Please sit down, darling. I need you to trust me and obey.”

Once I was sitting, she explained that she needed to bind me to the chair. She wanted me to understand a few things about her. Things that might shock me. She wanted me to listen to everything before making up my mind. I didn't really understand the need, but I went along. I'd come this far, and I might as well go all the way.

She was surprisingly quick about it. She pulled some Velcro straps from the bag, and before I knew it, she had me secured to the chair. I tried to move my arms and legs, but it was hopeless. I loved Katie, but it was hard to keep the panic at bay.

“Now, I’m going to make sure you can’t interrupt. I’m sorry to do this, but I’m going to tell you some things I’ve never told anyone except a therapist. I'm going to open my kimono and expose myself completely to you. When I'm done, you'll know who I really am. I’ve never done this with anyone before.  If you interrupt me, I’ll lose my nerve. I know I act tough, honey, but I'm fucking terrified right now.” Her voice was shaking as she said it.

With that said, she reached back into the bag and brought out a ball gag. She quickly put it on me and buckled it. I didn't want her to do that and protested, but bound as I was, I couldn't stop her. And honestly, I trusted her. If she felt it was necessary, so did I. It was uncomfortable, but I got used to it pretty quickly.

She then sat down in the chair opposite me and began to speak.

She told me her story – the whole unvarnished truth. It was the story of a child who looked like any other, but was completely different inside. From her earliest days, she was driven to lead and dominate. She didn't want to hurt anyone. She just had an irresistible need to control other people. That need caused problems for her teachers, parents, and classmates. She was seen as a troublemaker – a bully. She was a child without friends, and she was miserable. She cried and threw tantrums constantly. She couldn't understand why no one liked her, and why they couldn't see how superior she was. Why wouldn't they listen to her and do as she said? The teachers suggested that she might need a special school. Really, they just wanted to get rid of her. It would make their lives so much simpler. Her father wouldn't stand for it.

She started seeing a therapist in 3rd grade. The therapist didn't know how to fix her, but taught her ways to channel her aggression and cope with her situation. She eventually learned to hide her true nature. She mimicked other children's behavior. She struggled to read emotions, so she studied body language endlessly to help her interact with others. She channeled her aggression into sports and her schoolwork, and she learned to listen to the needs of others. It was always an effort, though. Over time, she became a model student and even developed lasting friendships. After a lot of hard work, she seemed like a happy, healthy young girl.

Inside, the story was so much different. She felt God himself had damned her. She was diseased, imperfect, and defective. She had an illness that no one could cure, and she hated the person she saw in the mirror every morning. Eventually she became depressed, and her grades started to slip. In a moment of weakness in the 8th grade, she took some pills in a half-hearted attempt to end her own life. She failed, but the experience frightened her enough to help her get back on track. Her therapist helped her work through her pain, and she eventually resumed her academic excellence. She grew used to the conflict inside her, and just learned to live with it. She described her needs as being like a dog barking all through the night. She could never really rest. The constant conflict was exhausting.

Hearing that broke my heart. No child should have to endure something like that. No adult should. I couldn't imagine how alone she must have felt. I understood why she had bound me like this. I wanted so much to get out of my chair and hold her, but I couldn't. I felt tears on my face. She smiled at me and took a moment to wipe them away.

Her schoolwork and athletic prowess won her a full-ride scholarship to college, and she chose to study psychology. If no one else could cure her, she had to find her own way. When she graduated with her master's degree, she realized that she was no closer to a solution than when she started. That nearly broke her, and she abandoned the field. She spent some time aimless and adrift - in almost total despair.  Her father suggested she go back to school and get a master's in business. He told her she was a born leader, and it would be a natural fit for her skills. And so she did. While she was doing that, she started her makeup business, and that eventually led to her opening her Day Spa.

She had had many romances. She had selected the best and brightest guys. The ones with records of success in athletics and scholarship, like her. None of those relationships lasted. Things would start well, but soon devolved into bitter fights and angry words. Even sex was problematic. The guys wanted to be in control, and she just couldn't allow that. They found it exciting when she took the lead on the first date, but after a while, they insisted on taking the reins, and she couldn't tolerate it. The longest relationship she'd managed only lasted three weeks. She couldn't understand why she kept failing. She was so good at so many things, but the things she wanted most - normalcy, love, and peace eluded her. Her own strange nature and desires haunted her.

She had dinner with one of her dearest friends, Angela, about a year earlier. Angela was her former professor in the psych department, and they had been friends ever since. Katie confided that she didn’t understand why she couldn't make a relationship work. Angela told her the answer was very simple. Katie kept choosing men exactly like her. Dominant men who believed they should run everything, including Katie. It's no wonder they got into fights. Neither of them was willing to submit to the other. She compared it to a pair of magnets. Katie was a North Pole, and she kept trying to catch men who were also North Poles. When they got together, they repelled each other.

Angela suggested Katie find a submissive man. He'd be a South Pole, and would actually be attracted to what Katie had to give.

She was willing to try anything by this point, and so she began studying the tendencies of submissive people. What did they want? What made them happy? How could she recognize one? Eventually she came up with a list of characteristics to look for, and her search began. As strange and demanding as Katie was, her greatest desire was to find someone who would love her, despite her demons.

She had pursued a couple of candidates, but quickly realized they weren't right. They both had deficiencies she couldn't accept.

Then Tina had told her about me, and my description had triggered all sorts of green flags. I was a peacemaker, a people pleaser. I was kind and a good listener. The list went on and on. She read my books and took note of the way my characters behaved. She knew that they were merely extensions of my own personality. She looked at the photos on my website and thought I was attractive. She liked what she saw, and so she decided to meet me.

She convinced Tina to set up a meeting at her party. She waited until I was alone, and then tracked me down. She quickly knew she'd found her man. The longer she talked to me, the more certain she became. She decided to claim me as her own.

During that monologue, she was very honest and matter-of-fact with me. She didn't try to hide the truth. She knew there was nothing I could do now. She already had me exactly where she wanted me. Still, the things she said shocked me. Our entire romance had been a deliberate plan to catch and claim me. She had pursued me and seduced me in the coldest, most calculating way possible. She had been grooming me for weeks, and I had never had a clue what was really happening. I had been so eager to see her that I abandoned all caution and ignored every warning flag.

She even told me some of the details about how she had seduced and groomed me. As she spoke, I looked back on our relationship. I couldn't believe how strategic she'd been – how meticulous. Her self-confidence and power were staggering.

“I liked everything about you, darling, so I decided to take you for my own. You gave me strong indications that you wanted me, but I would have taken you even if you hadn’t. I would have made you want me. Honestly, it might have been more fun for me to take you against your will. You might have fought harder, and it might have taken longer, but you’d still be here. Right in that chair, with a collar and wet panties. That may sound a little egotistical, but I think you know I could do it.

“Now, I couldn't risk telling you who I was right up front, only to see you run away from me. You were not going to escape. I needed to be patient. So I established a waiting period.

“I am busy at work, but it's not nearly as bad as I made it out to be. I exaggerated a little, and I apologize. I just needed some time to work on you. I had to get you ready to be with me. I had to groom you to accept my unquestioned leadership and authority. And I had to make you want me so badly you'd do absolutely anything to have me. That last part was pretty easy. I just sent you that program, and you told me exactly what you liked.

“Little by little, I revealed myself to you. I let you know who I was, and what I needed. I used every trick I could think of to seduce you. Hell, I even used a little hypnosis here and there. That's why you like hearing me call you Good Boy. Tonight was the final test. When you put that collar on for me, I knew that you had accepted your role, and mine. You didn't think twice. You just heard my voice and obeyed. You didn't realize it, but the die was cast. There was no turning back. And so I summoned you here to be my lover. I've claimed you now.

"It's funny, Jim - when I started, I was just looking for someone to dominate. I imagined a personal man-servant who would cater to my every need and adore me. I would stay above it all, ruling from an ivory tower. Something went wrong, though. Before long, I realized that I actually loved you. You have to understand - I've never really felt that before. Never. It scared the hell out of me. I realized that despite the power I had over you, you had power over me as well, and I had to have you. That became very clear on the night you came to help me here. It was no longer a game for me. I wasn't lying when I said I dreamed about you all the time, or that I wanted you to come and demand my affection. Waiting for you was one of the most difficult things I've ever done."

I was actually glad she had bound and gagged me. I couldn't believe the things she was telling me, and I almost certainly would have interrupted her, or just run for the hills by now. Being unable to move or speak forced me to listen. And I was slowly starting to understand the real picture. I was frightened, but I was fascinated by what she was saying. I also had to admit that hearing her speak this way to me was arousing on some level. The idea that this powerful, sexy woman had gone hunting for me and captured me was giving me chills. I thought I'd been seducing her, but the whole time, I was being herded into her corral like a dumb animal. My head was spinning.

Then, things became more difficult. She began talking about me. She was about to destroy the image I had carefully created of myself, and replace it with the truth. It wasn't easy to hear.

“But now, honey, it’s time we address the 800-pound gorilla in the room. I know you won’t want to hear this, but you need to. To be happy, you need to understand yourself. You need to accept this and believe it. You, my love, are submissive. Very much so. That doesn’t mean you aren’t sexy, wonderful, or in any way unmanly. It just means that you have different strengths and weaknesses than most men.

"Your greatest strength is that you feel so much. You understand people. That's why your books are so compelling. You love your characters, and treat them as friends. That love shines through every page. You have empathy, and you actually care about others. Maybe more than you care about yourself.

“Think about the night you came over here to help me. You understood my problem so quickly, and cared enough to help me get through it. Do you know how many men would have come over here, ignored my needs, and tried to fuck me? You didn’t. You didn't try anything until I told you to. You prioritized my needs above yours, and that means everything to me. You were my knight in shining armor, and I loved you so much for the way you helped me. No one else could have done that.

"But you also have weaknesses. You crave a leader – someone to follow. Making decisions can be agony for you. You sit and analyze every factor, trying to avoid mistakes. You avoid opportunities because you are afraid you'll fail. I knew you wanted to ask for my phone number, but you couldn’t. I gave you every reason to ask. You were sitting there, afraid I would say no. So I had to do it myself. I also know that you care deeply for Tina, but you were always afraid to pursue her. Life is terrifying for you, my poor darling. I see it. You constantly worry about what other people want. You do that so much that you end up ignoring your own needs. In the end, you're left with nothing. You go through life hoping someone will take charge and make the hard choices for you. That's one of the things I'll do for you. I'll protect you and help you make good decisions. I'll bring clarity and decisiveness to your life. I'll be strong when you can't. You won't have to wonder what to do. I'll tell you what to do. And you'll do it. You’ll finally be able to relax and enjoy your life.

“Being submissive is nothing to be ashamed of, any more than being dominant is. It's just the way we are. I’ve put you through a lot. I’m proud of how well you’ve handled it all. I want you because of that. I love you because of it. No dominant man would’ve been flexible enough to adapt and conform to my wishes the way you have. They might've tried to, but eventually they'd have gotten angry and walked away.

“Now, I'm sure some part of you is thinking, ‘I’m not submissive!’, but face the facts, honey. I’ve manipulated you in so many ways. I’ve ordered you around. I've prevented you from masturbating. I’ve denied you orgasms. I’ve made you come over here in a dog collar and dirty panties. It thrills you when I tell you to do something kinky or strange. You love obeying me, and the weirder my request, the more you like it. You came into my house tonight, expecting a good hot fuck. Instead, I told you to get on your knees, and you did it right away. Trust me on this. You are very, very submissive. And if you want to get right down to it, you are now my submissive. I love you, and I have claimed you for my own.

“So, dear, you’ve run out of options and excuses now. You can't hide anymore. You may try to resist me, but you’ll lose - I guarantee that. You know who I am now, and you know who you are. You need my leadership and love, and I need your obedience and devotion. From now on, I am your mistress, and you are my sub. That’s how it’s going to be. I will lead, and you will follow, and we will love each other, deeply and truly. We will help each other, and we will make each other happy. Do you understand?”

I thought about it for a moment, and nodded. The reality of it was utterly overwhelming. Some part of me felt like weeping, but I didn't know whether it was from sadness or joy. At the same moment, I was getting a huge erection. My breathing was getting quicker, and I felt panic starting. My emotions were blowing me around like the wind. She noticed my distress immediately. She reached over and petted me, and told me she loved me and that it was going to be okay. I was her Good Boy. That helped tremendously. I bathed in her touch and the warmth of those words.

She paused, deep in thought.

“I think that’s the bulk of what I needed to say, baby. Thanks for allowing me to do this. It took a lot of courage to let me bind you like that. Let me take that gag off of you.” She quickly did just that and wiped away a bit of drool that had formed.

She got me a glass of water and let me have a nice long drink. She stroked my hair lovingly for a long while, and kissed me. My hands and feet were still bound. She finally asked, “Do you have any questions, honey?”

“Katie, this is an awful lot to take in. I guess I get what you’re saying about me, and it wouldn’t do much good to deny it. I’m sitting here, tied to a chair wearing a dog collar and dirty panties. That’s probably some sort of indicator.”

She giggled and nodded, and said: “Yeah – probably so, sweetie.”

“I also appreciate what you told me about yourself. I know you've kept so much hidden from the world, and I’m glad you trusted me enough to share it all. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you to carry that load all these years without being able to talk about it. You said that some part of you hated yourself for the way you are. I really hope that’s not true. You are an amazing person, and I love every part of you.”

She smiled, and gently stroked my cheek.

“I guess I do have a question. I understand what you said about fighting with your boyfriends. But what about me? I’ve wondered so many times why girls lose interest and go away. We don’t fight. We just sort of stop. Can you explain that?”

“Sure. It’s the same problem, only backward. With me, it was like two of us got in the car, and we’d end up fighting over the steering wheel. We’d always end up in a ditch. With you, I think you’d both get in the car, and nobody wanted to drive. Nobody was leading or making decisions. So the car would sit there. Eventually you’d both lose interest. Does that sound about right to you?”

I dropped my head and said, “Yeah – that’s probably right. I was always so worried about what the girls wanted, I never said what I wanted. Meanwhile, I wondered why some of the biggest assholes in my class were just swimming in pussy. Tina's brother Mike is like that. A new girlfriend every month. Gorgeous girls I would have killed to have, but he’d just throw them away like trash. In some ways, watching that was the worst part. He's been my friend for years, but I can see him clearly now for the first time. I don’t really like what I see. He’s a dominant prick who thinks of himself first. Always. And still the submissive girls are drawn to him like magnets. It doesn’t seem fair.”

She gently touched my chin, lifted my face, and gave me a very sweet kiss. Then she said, “It’s not fair, honey. Life hasn’t been very fair to either of us, when you look at it. Life is like that, though. But we have each other now. Things are going to get better for both of us. We'll face it all together.”

Then her gentleness faded away, and she said, “Well, now there’s something more I need to tell you. I've told you who I am, and who you are. You need to understand what things will be like if you stay here. You have to understand that I didn’t do those things to you on the video calls just to test you. I also did those things because I get sexual enjoyment from seeing you obey me. Darling, I'm as kinky as a box of fishhooks. Even when I was a young woman, I'd have fantasies that were not normal. A lot of girls think about some guy riding up on a horse and taking them away. In my dreams, I'd pull him off the horse and whip him with his own crop. I'd humiliate him until he cried and begged to do my bidding. That's only gotten worse over time. Seeing you put that collar on was an incredible rush. Watching you put on those panties was almost enough to make me cum, all by itself, especially since you tried to resist. That was so hot! Exercising power over you is intoxicating and thrilling to me. That’s just how I am. And you get the same sort of thrill from obeying me. I've seen it.

“If you stay with me, I will certainly keep doing things to you to make you obey me. I’ll humiliate you, I’ll tease you, I’ll deny you. I’ll do things you can’t even imagine. But in the end, I’ll give you incredible, satisfying orgasms. I’ll milk your cock until you feel like your balls are going to fall off, and I'll keep doing it until you beg me to stop. I’ll control you in ways you’ve never thought possible, and I’ll make you love every minute of it. And I'll love you with all my heart, every day of my life.

“Don’t say you understand, because trust me, you don’t yet. You really can’t. But if you trust me, I’ll make you feel pleasures you’ve never even imagined.

"The price for that pleasure is that I am in charge. I run the house. I am your Mistress, and I will demand your obedience. You will be free to pursue your career and hobbies, and see your friends, and we'll do lots of normal stuff together in public. We will look like any other couple. But when you get home, you will serve me. You will treat me like a Goddess. You will be expected to do chores, like washing clothes, mopping floors, and so on.  You will also provide every personal and sexual service you can imagine. I may make you massage my feet and suck on my toes one night, and lick honey off my nipples while you edge yourself the next. I guarantee you'll never know what I will demand of you from one day to another. You will work hard, and do everything in your power to please me. If you grow tired of that, or just can't cut it, I will tell you to leave.

“And there’s one other thing you really need to know. From time to time, I will hurt you. I will not damage you permanently, but you'll experience physical pain. That is the price for failure. If I tell you to do the laundry while I’m at work, and it's still dirty when I come home, you will be punished. Count on it. I will take you over my knee and spank you till your ass is bright red. Or maybe something worse. I will make you cry, and apologize, and then you will still have to do the damned laundry. I don’t want to do that sort of thing very often. I’m not a sadist. I don’t get pleasure from the pain of others, but if you are my sub, there will be iron discipline. You will obey me. Always. Do you understand?”

I nodded. “I think so. This is going to take some getting used to, but I’m willing to try. You've shown me who you are, and I still love you, Katie. Maybe more than I did before. I think this is where I belong. I think it’s where I’ve always belonged. I need to try.”

She smiled and said, “Good. I'm so glad to hear that. Now, I’m going to release you, and then I’m going to change back into some nice lingerie so I can manipulate my poor, sweet Puppy, and do wonderful, terrible things to him. Take a few minutes and think about what you really want. If you’re absolutely sure you want to stay with me, be my poor little puppy, obey me, please me, and feel my love burning through every inch of your body like fire, go over to the chair you’ve seen me use on the video chats. Kneel in front of it wearing nothing but your panties and your collar. Wait there and don’t move a muscle. And when I come in, I will let you begin your new life by worshiping my pussy till your poor puppy tongue falls off. I may be wrong, but I think you’ll enjoy that. But make no mistake - you're going to make me cum with your tongue whether you enjoy it or not. You will serve me. That's just the way your world will be from now on.

“If, on the other hand, you don’t think you can take the kind of life I’ve described, just get your things and go. I won’t blame you, sweetheart. What I am asking of you will be very difficult. I love you so much that I’d almost be happy to see you get free of me. Almost. But understand that if you go now, I will have to cut you out of my life, and you will never see me or hear from me again. I think you’re the right man for me, but if you’re not, I need to start my search once more. This is your last chance at freedom, Jim. Make your choice now.” She turned and walked away.

I won’t deny that I was scared. What she was offering was too big and too strange for me to understand. Panic rose in my chest. My heart pounded, and my hands shook. But I knew how much I needed her. I thought about what my life would be if I left - sitting in my apartment alone again, eating alone again, sleeping alone again. And the endless, unsatisfying masturbation. I couldn’t face that, not after the ecstasy I’d felt being with her.

And so I did as she asked. I slowly walked over to the chair I’d seen in so many video calls. The one she’d writhed around on while she masturbated, all the while watching me degrade myself for her amusement. And I knelt. And I kissed it. And I waited. And I thanked God for the opportunity to do it.

Soon I heard the click of high heels on the hardwood floor behind me, and her beautiful, gentle voice said: “There’s my Good Boy.” My new life had begun.